Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4144. page

>>17472339
>I want to see a therapist about it, but I just feel it's going to be another waste of money that won't help me at all.
Therapy wouldn't hurt. Just go into it with an open mind--it won't change anything over night.

>always working out, I'm always a good person to everyone, and yet I still can't get anywhere in life
That's considered 'bare minimum' to most people and isn't something that should be applauded. Do you work? Are you going to school?

I get the feeling that you're very down on yourself and it shows. Therapy will help you love yourself so that others can love you too.

>>17472339

two pieces of advice here.

the first: validate yourself. acknowledge the good you do. notice that 'good' does not mean 'the things you do that no one else can or has done'. it just means the good. if you never acknowledge the success, eve nthe little ones, than you are going to feel stagnant for your entire life. take pride in what you have done with your body.

in a video game there are multiple levels for a reason. cuz they dont want you feeling miserable half way through. with each level yuo complete you get a small victory on your way to the big one.

take your small victories OP. know that no one out there cares about whats the best. there is no 'the best' when they think of other people. jsut whats good and whats bad, and you have a lot of good.


the second, stop rejecting ideas before trying them. you know this problem is ruining you and tearing your brain apart but you're not willign to fix it cuz losing excess money is apparently worse than living with this for the rest of your life.

consider that for a second. you could try to fix this, but you'd rather just know the moneys there for something else that DEFINITELY wont fix it, as opposed to being spent on therapy that might.

think about it.

>>17472339
Im sorry to hear that OP. But before contemplating suicide know that it cant be worse than it is now. Your at your lowest now, all you can do is go up.

Having a girlfriend wont automatically answer your problems and if you fall into a abusive relationship you will be even more depressed.

I can see that you have a good soul in you anon. Life isnt fair, but that doesn't mean we cant all get what we want.

What a therapist will do will try and find the underlying problems of your situation, Are you dissatisfied with your life because your not feeling fulfilled. Maybe you need to re evaulate your life and find what it is that you lack in your life. You need something to pursue instead of always being so negative. you probably never developed any real hobbies and are now feeling worthless.

i believe nobody is worthless, everyone has some form of worth. Take therapy as a last option. What do you mean when you say you cant get anywhere in life? give me some examples.

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>>17472332
bump?

I sometimes get the green apple quick step from stress, very common. I highly doubt your anxiety isn't a problem when you don't suffer from these physical symptoms. Are you sure about this?

>>17472332
>Anyone else get sick like this from anxiety?
I don't have an anxiety disorder, but when I'm stressed about an interview or a test I get like that. If you're constantly suffering like this you probably need medication. Definitely see a doctor.

>>17472069
>chicagoland

You honestly should just use craigslist. Places where people will move for and leave for jobs, and where rent is so fucking expensive, have people tossing their great furniture out for next to nothing as long as the other person is willing to haul it.

I got some great BDI furniture for a tenth of retail.

>>17472083
Thanks! I'll look into it

Salavtion army can be good for fruniture sometimes. But it helps if you live around a lot of old people.

RIP

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>>17471989
um truth , i think that story might work.

>>17472155

I'm sorry but I'm rather in the dark over this one?

>>17471979
>I pretty much feel worthless as a partner now, but the thought of losing him for emotional support is very hard on me
You need a new boyfriend. Maybe stay in this relationship while you look for a new one, if that seems easier.

>I've lost almost all of my friends
It's easy to make new friends in college. Join some clubs.

>I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, mention oversleeping, weight gain, and imbalanced hormones.
See a doctor if you aren't already.

You need to get yourself together and not have to depend on anyone if you want to be in a relationship. Being brutally honest, you're what any guy wish they didn't have.
Also do what >>17472031 this anon said.

>>17472031
I've been in doctor limbo since I hit 18, though I have a psychiatrist that keeps me from going completely off my rocker.

The plan was to get a doctor in my college town instead of my home town, as it pretty much is impossible to get work done to figure out issues when you're not there most of the time.

>>17472054
And... shit. You're both right, I really am dragging him down. I guess my issue is that, for eight years, I was in a crazy codependent relationship with the toxic friend I mentioned, so I don't really remember a time before that kind of dynamic.

I guess the real issue is my desire for codependency that's keeping me from being able to let him go, even though that should be the right and responsible thing.

Fuck.

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>>17471976

Room to yourself. I've shared a room before and hated the lack of privacy and the odd hours we each had lead to some conflict. It was nice when we'd bro out and drink/vidya but having your own space, to me, is much better.

Your own room = privacy, you can come and go as you please, fuck without it being weird and fap if you want. Plus you can decide the 'mess' level of the room.

Just finished first year uni here. Honestly, it depends on you and the person you are rooming with. For me, I had a roommate and it was great. We got along and hung out a ton. However, if you do get one you are taking the risk of the other person being a complete dickhead and making your year miserable. My advice is that unless you know someone who you want to room with, to not get one. You usually live in a dorm or a house with a bunch of different people and u'll meet the people you like there. You can still room with them next year if you find someone chill. If you know someone you want to room with tho, its really dope. First year uni is sorta hard adjustment for some people and it really helps to have someone there you know right there. Also u automatically have a bro to go to parties with and shit that can take you home if ur too drunk (Shit happens alot)

I had an awesome experience going with a rando in a dorm. Its definitely worth a try.

If you are super OCD, get your own room. I had a blast in the dorms. Make sure to go to dorm social events or whatever shit is going on.

Drinking is not a problem unless you think it's a problem, anon ;)

>>17471911
T-thanks anon.

Once you get hooked, you become an Alcoholic for life.

What's recommended is to cut down drinking, I would not go cold turkey. Keep it to a level of moderation. Find out wtf is bothering you.

>>17471840
I can relate. I am ordinarily very calm but getting disrespected online will have me literally shaking with rage.

I think that your problem may be caused by redirected anger. Is there something stifling your responses to more serious problems, which leads you to repress your anger and release it by lashing out irrationally when something minor pisses you off? Do you feel powerless to make meaningful change in your life?

>>17471954
>but getting disrespected online will have me literally shaking with rage

lmao look at this autist

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Is your friend psychotic or something? Doesn't seem like your friend is very popular so not much people would "take his / her side" if you cut it with them. The only consequence would be one less headache.

Maybe just tell them you want a step back in your relationship (as friends of course)

I would say bipolar, yeah.

They are very popular but I don't think it will come to people taking sides, but I do wonder if they will get butthurt and talk shit about me and make people think bad about me,but maybe I just have trust issues.

Basically the kind of thing I'm talking about is they told me about some sexual problem their ex partner had (it was a bad breakup so probably an element of spite in telling me)

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>>17472942
I imagine the easiest way would just be ghost it and feign ignorance. Stop texting them so much, stop messaging them, trying to contact at all. They ask? You say "IDK." Then HANG OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE, and still act all like "IDK" even if they're like "Thanks for the invite, bro (sarcastically)"

Since the person didn't outright do something bad to you directly, i think a frontal assault ("I want to friendship-breakup with you") is a bit much for a person like him / her.

>>17471724
a woman determined whether or not you were getting into the school three months ago.

staying up all night wondering if you got in or not has absolutely no impact on anything.

>normally im very good with stress, well above average

you sound and act like a novice.

>>17471750
what i mean is back during exams when everyone else was freaking out i just used the stress to motivate me to work

now theres nothing i can do

>>17471783
>now theres nothing i can do

so what are you stressing about

>>17471679
Root the phone and run a file recovery file through it.
If you just deleted it recently theres no way it could have been overwritten already, so its till saved somewhere.

>>17471726
Would a month be considered recently?

>>17471742
Yeah it should still be there somewhere.
As long as you arent super unlucky and have overwritten it accidentally (basically impossible).
Be careful when rooting your phone since it can brick (kill) yoir device and voids warranty.

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>>17471676

Firstly, you don't "capture" women. They aren't fucking Pokemon.

Secondly, you're going to absolutely suck at talking to women until you're about 23-24. I've never met a high schooler who was confident about who they are and what they wanted.

You're going to have many awkward years and slowly but surely as you become confident in who you are and the things you like you'll start gravitating towards women who fit your personality and they'll start gravitating to you.

My advice is don't stop talking. Don't stop screwing up. Don't stop being awkward. All of this is a learning process and the only thing you can do to fuck it up is to crawl into your shell and never try.

Trust me, as a man in his 30's I can promise you this is going to get far weirder before it gets any better. Life will put you in contact with a lot of women and you'll screw it up until you get better. Thats it.

>>17471676
>spot girl you find physically attractive
>"hi."
>determine within the next 15 minutes of conversation whether or not she's retarded or not
>determine if you two have enough things in common to carry conversations
>ask her out if she fulfills these requirements
>go on date
>converse about shit you have in common and learn more about her
>kiss her within the first two dates

pretty easy you autist.

>>17471676
I'm pretty sure we're the same person...what the fuck. I'm a senior in high school...between 6'1-6'2ish...lifted for 4 years so got dat der physique...and am introverted as fuck & never had a gf. Only interested in lifting and politics. The brief interactions I've had with women have all stemmed from social media though. I recommend getting some. Go for twitter or Instagram. Then flirt like you're the shit...your physique should give you the confidence and cockiness to do so.

Charity events, get involved with a church, fake being Christian/Virgin

>>17471786
i feel like a church would be a bad route, though. Wont most women frown upon dating me if I'm significantly younger as a christian?

>>17471786
Like a sugar momma would be going to church.

>>17471573
Then just continue to wait. If you go looking you usually end up with the wrong person anyway like at a bar, club, or off tinder. Whatever your hobbies are start there maybe.

>>17471573
They graduated and are busy at their parents house/work.

>>17471573
they're at bars/clubs.

some are busy with work and don't want anything serious.

most are already in relationships.

>>17471539
Yeah I mean if you're not sexually compatible then go for it dude. Talk to your gf honestly about your sexual needs and then see if she's open to you seeing other people.

Forget the family stuff, its none of their business.

>>17471539
Not as active during sex? like, dead fish syndrome?

is she not fulfilling certain aspects of a sexual relationship that's important to you? my gf is terrible at oral and rarely elects to do it. it's pretty shitty. communication is exhausted on that one for now.

is it libido? i imagine if she were really into it that she would be more receptive to new things.

are you doing enough? do you get her off? etc

and like the fish said, sexual compatibility is a big thing. if you guys can't work it out then no, it's not a "douchey" thing to leave her over such a thing.

Sounds like u got a case of the old proverbial "dead fish" syndrome or as the Japanese refer to it the "Limp Noodle" postulate. might wanna throw her back m8