So I noticed that I'm slowly dying inside and it's kinda funny and life isn't worth living for me but I don't have the guts to kill me and also, I have a couple of goals I want to reach. Nobody knows this whole thing because I hide behind multiple layers of ironic humor and I actually mostly laugh about it when I'm alone because it's so sad that it's funny. Overall it's not too bad because I can have fun, don't think about suicide and don't let people know about it which is very important since I don't want people to know how I feel (this goes for both, positive and negative feels). I have no clue why I'm posting this here...Maybe I can talk with somebody about it. I like memes btw
>>17503733
I used to hide all my feelings too. Now I'm trying to change it slowy because, while I could still entertain myself, I felt horrible inside.
I'm not sure if that would be the best route for you though. Why do you feel like you're dying inside? Does something seem to be missing?
Sit outside, look at some flowers. Go for a walk. Watch a documentary about crocodiles. Shit man, just get your mind in a peaceful place. Try some ASMR videos. Do a sudoku puzzle. Make yourself a real nice sandwich. You know, one that takes time and care, don't just slap on a slice of ham and some mayo. There's so much stuff you could be doing, you've got no need to be shut up alone with your thoughts.
>>17503776
I don't feel horrible but I don't know what it exactly feels like. Something could be missing, yeah. A good friend or example. I think I have to get my shit together- Thanks
Hi /adv/ I recently moved into college and I am having a good time and making tons of friends.
I've been attempted to get closer to this girl I like who I met at June advising and have been corresponding with all summer.
The only problem is that she has this friend who follows her around pretty much everywhere.
"What's the big deal?" You might be asking. The big deal is that this "friend" is a fucking autistic retard who goes by the name "Jennifer" and pronouns "she" even though he is fucking 6 foot and lumbers around with as much grace as a rhino.
I invited her (the actual fucking girl) and her roommate back to my dorm to chill before dinner as a way of making my location known and that I have a free bed (by some miracle I am alone in a double). She texts back: Hey can Jennifer come along?
cont.
>>17503684
You don't have to be mean and say you dont like Jennifer, just make it clear you very much want to hangout with said girl alone. So, focus on making the girl you like feel special rather than the girl you dont like feel hated.
I already had Jennifer over and it was a nightmare, while we had normal conversation, he sat in the corner watching DBZ Abridged.
What should I tell her if she asks if Jennifer can come along again?
>>17503705
KEK
I dunno anon. I'm a third year at uni so let me tell you what I think. You could take your chances and say you don't really want Jennifer there, but I think she'll decide not to come. There's definitely a reason he's hanging out with them.
No offense, mate, but maybe you should stay as friends. At least that's what I would do.
If you're adamant, go for it anyway and step off if she insists on taking Bruce Kaitlyn Jennifer.
idk if this is the right place to post this. but here we go. my friend lives somewhere in Norway and i just started talking to him a few days ago. he recently lost two of his best friends to suicide and got kicked out from his home by his family for coming out as gay. i am trying to convince him not to kill himself too, but apparently therapy costs thousands over there as it is not covered under healthcare. i really want to help him but i literally have no idea what to say to help him. please /adv/, i don't want him to end his own life. pic not related
>>17503638
Why would you care or get attached to someone you met days ago? Just tell him that killing himself would just give his family what they want and if he wants to be their bitch, or something less harsh but along those lines. Also tell him to call the authorities, I'm not sure about Norway but in my country it's illegal to just kick a kid out of your house until they are 18. Keep talking to him if you rely dont want him to kick the bucket, let him talk and vent. Call him if need be, an actual voice is a lot more comforting than text on a screen.
For some reason I doubt they don't treat mental illness there.
>apparently therapy costs thousands over there as it is not covered under healthcare.
well that's just not true. especially for the suicidal
So I went to a party alone and didn't know a single person there. Except for like 3 people. One of them I had a crush on a while back in high school but we never talked to each other. We dI'd acknowledge each others existence though.
I go up to her, tell her hi and other stuff, and tell her I didn't know a single person there. We move to a quieter room and then proceeded to talk for about 2 hours. It was surprisingly good, we got some stuff in common and I never felt like i made it more about me than its more about her.
Days later I hit her up on facebook, she says she's at the gym, and don't have Wi-Fi except there. Then we have small talk about our lives. Since she's going to college I asked what classes she's attending then no reply up to this point. She's definitely on her facebook posting though but no reply.
More days later, she posts about how dudes need to learn how to converse and don't make it about them and stuff. Honestly, at this point I would've just moved on but I feel the urge to at least take a leap of faith and just simply ask about it. She's a cool chick and I would've never thought she'd just do something like that. Should I ask?
The no reply thing was definitely a hint.
Sorry, anon. Move on, don't ask.
You have nothing to lose by talking to her, but she doesn't sound interested at all.
Update: I asked her. It's not about me. She apparently Just sucks at texting.
I can't stop cheating on every significant other that I've had and I don't know why or how to stop. It's been going on for my entire life, even in silly elementary school boyfriend/girlfriend type things.
Is it possible to stop? I always see people say, "once a cheater, always a cheater" and I really don't want that to be the case for me. What should I do?
I don't necessarily believe that people who cheat once are doomed to forever be cheaters, but in your case... good luck with that. Have you considered just opting for an open relationship straight away and eliminating the problem that way?
>>17503663
I considered that, just avoiding being in a situation where there's exclusivity... but I don't think that will work because I have this innate need to feel special to someone and have a connection/understanding with them. I know it's hypocritical but it's just the way I feel.
I wonder if it's connected to my parents cheating on each other. My mom used to bring this guy around whenever my dad was out of town for work (actually, she still does this) and I know my dad cheated on her too (he's out of the country now and probably cheating on her as I type this). Sorry for the mental spewing.
>>17503692
And you don't think there's a way you can feel assured that you have that with someone without being monogamous? I mean, not all open relationships exist of multiple equal relationships, some couples have rules like being able to fuck anyone as long as you never take their contact info. That way you sleep around but only have one romantic partner.
Not that I'm trying to claim that it's so easy to find someone you like who is up for the kind of open relationship you want (depending on where you live, too), but psychologically it does seem easier to me to try to make your peace with that than to quit cheating. It's quite a gamble, even if things go well at first, that you'll be able to control yourself for decades if you've never yet managed to be loyal in any relationship at all.
The obvious answer if you are dead set on trying to achieve this is to analyse your feelings and needs with a therapist and hear what they have to say about it. But there's a lot of therapists around and finding a quality one can be an absolute pain in the ass.
>be me, 19, Britbong, male, high functioning autist
>spend primary school and first half of secondary school constantly getting top grades
>after turning 14 my grades started slipping and I finished my GCSEs with mainly Bs and C, good enough to go to sixth form, but me and my parents felt that I could have done better
>Completely cracked under the pressure during my first year of sixth form and ended up failing everything
>went to college for free, took up a BTEC in game design and ended up achieving passes in more than half of my units during my first year
>When the time came to pick choices for University, I chose a course in computer science in a former polytechnic that required one distinction and two merits overall, I liked the place and by this point I wasn't confident about my work, at least one person mentioned that I could have applied to better schools
>got my shit together, focused on my schoolwork and ended up walking out of college with a triple distinction grade overall
Since then I've been told at least twice that I could have gone to a better university, like Essex or Oxford, and it's kind of bought my mood down. Has anyone here ever felt as if they've squandered their academic potential? I've been feeling that way since I got my GCSEs. I realise that talking about this in light of receiving good grades and getting ready to go to Uni next month might be seen as petty, but I feel like I've let other people down with the choices I've made, especially since I was academically bright when I was younger. What can I do to change my outlook on things?
Mate, you can use UCAS to apply for adjustment/clearing and change the uni you're going to if you get grades better than you were expecting. I've had e-mails from the unis I applied to and UCAS themselves for like a month now about this.
>>17503642
The thing is, I haven't gotten my certificates yet and I won't be able to get them for at least another week because of a issue concerning the marking of additional BTEC units.
When exactly does the Clearing period end?
Your post describes almost exactly how my academic career went, which is pretty spooky. Although I'm a few years ahead of you.
Was always one of the smart kids at an early age. I did OK at GCSE, failed miserablly at AS level. I did a BTEC and got DDD also. I also chose Comp Sci at a good, but not great uni.
Ended up with a 2.1, but haven't achieved much with it desu. Being an autist, I didn't network or socialise.
To answer your questions:
>Has anyone here ever felt as if they've squandered their academic potential?
Yes. Most people feel that way.
>What can I do to change my outlook on things?
If you're able to change Uni's, go ahead. If not, then you'll have to try and make the best of your experience at your chosen Uni.
Before i go to a doctor any med anons wanna give advice, maybe i can cure it at home. I have a below my elbow, and everytime i flex my arm or do pushups i feel if a joint popped out and popped back in. It's not a joint though. On my right arm its normal and flat, on my left arm it's a bump and not flat. I've had this for like a year now. What do?
pic is an example i found somewhere, the bump on the guy, instead right below my elbow, its whitsh. on my right its flat.
I meant bump, a little bit below my elbow, like the bump on this guy. Looks the same, but just below my elbow.
And it pops? Or you just feel the pain?
I had something similar called tennis elbow. Bump only on one arm and everything. There wasn't any popping out though, just a sort of 'pulling' pain from the motions you described.
>>17503610
pops out and back in, it's painless it just bugs me. i feel like it'll fuck me up one day when working out, i've been ignoring it for the past year.
I need advice about buying condoms.
Im not entirely sure what size I'm supposed to get cause idk if the regular ones are big enough.
I'm like 7.5 x5 so I'm not worried about them busting as much as I am it not going down far enough and it getting pulled off.
I don't know how to tell if it goes down far enough(I've tried regular ones and there def seems like there's too much space not covered) and I really don't want to find out in the middle of fucking.
>>17503573
Its not going to get pulled off unless you wait until you get limp inside her.
To be sure grab the condom as you are pulling out.
Not sure what else to say, latex stretches to fit each/any size.
Regular Trojan condom is fine. I know it handles girths up to 5.25."
Wish I was 7.5 x 5.
>>17503589
For some reason I can stay hard after I cum for a very long time so I guess this won't be an issue at all.
How should I suppress my boner in a mostly female yoga course? I have a thing for woman in tight clothes and I'm also a foot fetishist. Please help me.
>>17503492
Stop taking those classes
Boner hiding apparatus
>>17503511
Seconded. It's not going away.
Worst case scenario: you desensitize to the ladies and start popping boners for the gym dudes on /fit/.
I finished shooting a short film. Not entirely happy with the outcome--make-shift equipment, had to play a part myself--, but thought one of the actors was pretty good and was optimistic about the outcome.
I finished cleaning up and went outside for a walk. Both actors had dropped my card at the entrance to the apartment complex in almost the same place. Neither emailed me in case the film made it into a festival.
What should I think?
>>17503489
>optimistic about the outcome.
I meant optimistic that the editor could fix the raw footage.
>>17503489
Bump.
I'm down right now.
>>17503489
No thoughts? I thought I did an alright job then I saw their cards outside the apartment. One of them gave me his, but seeing them both in the same spot left me doubting.
Can I sue Burger King for putting jalepenos in my Texas whopper?
>>17503479
>Texas whopper
no dumb ass, if you don't want them tell them or take them off yourself.
If you told them you want the Texas Whopper, minus the jalepenos because you're allergic, then yes.
Are you aware that the Texas double whopper comes standard with jalapeños, because it seems like a lot of people don't fucking know this
Another girl thread--I'll keep this brief:
She's a 5-6 year friend, though we've only hung out a few times. She once expressed feelings for me. I reciprocated (early high school), though chickened out of relationship due to stress/anxiety. That never soured friendship. Have went out together a few times since.
Since that early "breakup" I've watched her get into surprisingly committed relationships with dudes either way below her IQ or much older than her (7+ 9+, a teacher hookup*). *She confessed this to me via text.
I've always have lingering feelings for her. Haven't spoken to her in a few months--not for any reason, just been busy. I've wondered for a while now if trying to date her is worth it. Is her relationship track record a red flag?
Pic unrelated. I saw a TV commercial for the organization and couldn't help but laugh.
>>17503473
Also I plan on deleting this thread in an hour or two because my story is pretty specific and I have no idea if she's into 4chan.
>>17503473
All relationships come off as red flags if you look through the right lens. Unless there is something specific she has done, or something about these guys that was pretty significant, no. Age isn't all that big of a deal and for all you know these guys had something else amazing going for themselves
>>17503473
How many relationships?
Because "5-6 years" doesn't match with "surprisingly commited" and at least 4 dudes (that's the minimal number i assumed) plus you.
ive tried avoiding my phone or anything that usually keeps me up at night (for at least one year) sometimes even forcing myself to stay awake for an entire day or two.
Even doing that, it takes me a couple of hours (about 3-4 hours) to fall asleep.
Any advice to help me fall asleep easier, espcially before a big event?
i have the same problem due to depression
dunno what keeps you awake but for me its neverending thoughts about everything
sometimes weed helps, sometimes physical activity helps
for me at least
>>17503475
i tried weed a couple of times, but either i dont inhale properly, or im just immune to it. I do feel very sluggish after that tho, but not sleepy.
as for physical activity, it just leaves my body aching slightly but i guess it doesnt really help.
and yeah, i kinda have the same reasons as you for being unable to sleep.
thanks for the advice tho
You have to train your mind.
Ideal is that you do nothing in your bedroom other than sleeping. Obviously this is hard to manage, but make sure there's no tv in the bedroom and you don't have your primary work space there. Just go to the library or a university place if you have to, but don't have a desk in your bedroom.
No flashy or dramatic colors. White or green or something. Get curtains that really keep the light out, in the darkness your body produces melatonin which helps you sleep.
Make sure you have "free" moments during the day in which you just let your mind wander. Meditation is an option but not necessary. If you commute, that's an ideal time to not listen to music but just look outside and let your mind run free. A lot of people nowadays keep themselves occupied/entertained one way or another, even if it's just music, and then they are baffled that when they go lie down without any distractions their mind starts to work. You need moments to reflect and process things throughout the day to avoid this.
Do not look at a screen for half an hour to an hour before heading to bed. If you must do something on the computer, install something to make the screen less bright, but try to avoid it in general. Instead take a shower, read a book, do some not that intensive studying etc. The most relaxing is a hobby that both keeps you occupied and isn't mentally intensive, like knitting or doodling.
Now for the big one: DO NOT stay in bed when you can't fall asleep. Wait for approximately fifteen minutes, if you haven't fallen asleep by then, leave the room. Drink some tea, go get some fresh air, read a little, whatever. Then go back and try again, rinse and repeat.
Good luck!
so I met this girl over okcupid. we chatted. tons in common. she gives me her phone number. we text for 2 weeks. hours long phone calls every night.
everything she says adds up. she's a doctor. she is from Sweden but half Palestinian. she speaks the languages (Swedish, Arabic, English and some French) and knows the terminology (I trained as a paramedic - she wasn't bullshitting).
her hours made sense. everything added up. we were set to meet up on her first day off.
30 minutes from the time she's supposed to meet me at the restaurant, everything goes dead. her phone quits working, texts aren't going through, email account deleted, etc.
what the fuck?
call up where she says she works, they've never had a doctor by that name. call the yoga studio she said she frequents, nope.
if I was catfished, what the fuck was the purpose? I feel like she shared some very private details of her life with very little in return from me.
I have dozens of photos including selfies. we spoke over Skype. etc. etc.
was this just someone cheating and got cold feet?
>>17503419
post pics.
image searches resulted in what
>>17503425
Strangely my computer is getting connection errors when I reply
Her name is common in Sweden and i never found the images
Her and her brother and sister in law
i'm 25, she's 21. this is my first serious, romantic relationship and my longest. overall i think we're happy though there are some things we still need to work on.
recently i've been feeling less attentive towards her, less affectionate, and just giving less effort to the relationship. this coincides with me being busier at my internship and starting class soon but it's still nagging me and it doesn't explain my lack of giving a shit entirely. i figured that the "new relationship energy" or "honeymoon period" expired a long time ago. i don't know if i'm simply encountering this for the first time (again, first real relationship) and it's more difficult than i thought it'd be.
for 1.5 years i never gave other women a serious thought. i've seen, met, and interacted with plenty of attractive girls in those 1.5 years but nothing spurred me to pursue something new till a week ago or so. a girl i've known for a few months at my internship, someone i have been interacting with regularly, and an individual i recognized as being attractive but wasn't necessarily attracted to has been holding my attention for the past week and i've definitely picked up my flirting with her. i've contemplated breaking up with my gf and pursuing her. i weigh the risks and understand that the girl at my internship might be completely uninterested in me which would leave me single and i sometimes find that outcome favorable to being in a relationship where i find myself to be gradually unhappier.
the girl at my internship has qualities that i admire which my gf lacks. she is more driven about what she wants and works for it. i find my gf to be lazy and prone to complain than make an effort which has become annoying. this attitude bleeds into her studies, her health, and her general ability to deal with stress. she complains to me about these sorts of things but it's hard to care when it feels like my advice goes unheeded. she's still young but it's still frustrating.
>>17503403
i know nothing about this new girl in regards to sex/views on sex but i can only imagine it would be an improvement over this debacle that i currently call a sex life. the issues we have in bed are due to both of us. i have really bad PE (we're talking 30 seconds before i have to take a break) which makes penetrative sex a fucking joke which i feel terrible about. my gf is also a bit of a deadfish so i have a lot on my plate when we have sex. my gf tried birth control early into the relationship and lasted a week and a half before deciding to get off of it because she didn't like the side effects (despite being told and knowing that the side effects do subside after a few months) which complicates matters. she also doesn't enjoy giving oral sex so she just doesn't do it which disappoints me greatly. i've expressed to her how her being on birth control would be helpful and asked her to try and tough it out and see how she feels. i also expressed how important oral sex is to me and that it's something i want in our relationship. she agreed to work on both of these things 3 months ago. it doesn't come as a surprise to me that she has made zero effort in both of these departments. it has been three months of excuses. this is the third time we've had this discussion and probably the last time i'll ask about it.
i don't know. i don't know if slowly being unhappier with your relationship/partner is just how things go naturally and that i have to work through it? all relationships are going to stagnate somewhat. you can't be infatuated forever and i know that. "the grass is always greener" feeling is going to persist and i understand everyone goes through that but how do i discern from me being unhappy with a relationship/partner to the false allure of a fantasy? is that just how longer relationships are? you tolerate and compromise and stay slightly unhappy about some things? this is foreign territory for me so i'd appreciate insight.
please help
>>17503572
Wouldnt be surprised if your girl is getting dicked down by somebody else desu nothin worse than a pe. And stop being such a pussy either leave her or dont life always go on best believe that