Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4044. page

It's pretty immature, honestly.

If what you truly want is someone to lust for, but never need you, you're missing the point of intimacy altogether.

You're looking for 2 player masturbation, get, not any real form of romantic connection, just because dependency is unattractive?

To sat they "need" you doesn't imply a lack of autonomy on their decision to spend time with you, it just means tht they choose to make you a priority - it's an expression of vulnerability, yes, but it's not hypnosis

>>17504851
Say*

>>17504851
Choosing to make someone a priority is one thing, relying on someone for financial/emotional support is something very different.

>>17504795
Get a therapist before it's too late. Otherwise, a bullet might work. Stay away from loli and schools and fucking talk to a therapist. Tell him what happened and how it's altering your thoughts.

>>17504815
I have been trying Something out. Everytime I have these thoughts I cut myself soo I stop those thoughts. Also I do not deserve help . When I was 5 he told me it was my fault, and my family wouldnt believe me if I told them. I feel in sense, he's right it was my fault. When he was over at our house for dinner, he told me ( when we were alone) that deep down I'm still a 5 yr old boy and nothing I can do will change anything.

>>17504849
Jesus fuck, is this some sort of elaborate bait or what? If what you're saying is true then you definitely need to see a therapist. First off, stop cutting yourself, it solves nothing and damages you more, both physically and mentally. Second off, it's never a five year olds fault, they are fucking 5, they can't be held responsible for anything let alone their own molestation, third off you're not a five year old boy, he has exactly zero control over you anymore and shouldn't, what he should have, is severe rectal trauma from being in the pockey. You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself and weak or you can go attempt some maintenance on your state of mind with a therapist. You aren't five anymore. You also aren't your uncle and as such, you shouldn't follow in his shitty kid diddling legacy.

Those who want a relationship but are also cool realize you're damaged goods so they decide to jump pump and dump xd

I think is even harder than heterosexuals.

Gay community is full of hedonism and instant pleasure, as i experienced.

>>17504751
have had problems with these appointments. I want a good love with a good base not a quickie . If you live in a good country I think you can find people who are gay in some clubs of arts ( better to be friends first and then boyfriends is a good base) and see such. The homo is not bad. The trouble is homo or hetero who are promiscuous and are just looking for sex and no love.

yes it is 'okay'. It depends on what you want your relationship to be based on. If your girlfriend likes the 'stigma' man then no it is not okay. if she is cool with it than its fine. If she isn't and you don't wanna be the 'stigma' male than dump her.

no,
self control at all times OP!

Yes.

>>17504637
Police officers, people who work at the local women's and men's shelter, lawyers, victims

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>>17504681
>men's shelter
Do these even exist? Every one I've ever heard of was operating at a loss and was eventually shut down.

>>17504881

They call it the Holiday Inn!

wubbalubbadubdub!

google, 'cycle of violence'
you are in the tension building phase.

>>17504674
So from what you're saying, is that im walking on eggshells and/or paranoid. But the violence doesn't have to be physical violence??

>>17504708
Nope, most dv is not physical it's psychological, emotional, financial, etc.

On one hand he's your dad, and his life is probably stressful in ways that he has no reasonable way to express. So yes 'normal' people are suppose to express themselves, unless the emotion is anger, or some other negative emotion, pretty universally engaging with those emotions will get you in trouble, and the adult thing to do is to not express them.

On one hand your normalizing whatever relationship you have with him even if it's dysfunctional, because he's your dad and it's not usually possible to just walk away.

you're allowed to just do your own thing though and not engage with his anger, kinda helps.

why? Don't open yourself up to legal liability

>>17504613
I wasn't of legal age back then. Is it a problem anyway?
You're probably right, though. I don't think that I have a reason to tell that stuff.

What kind of crime are we talking about here?

(I'm OP)
Also pretty much every time I've shown up the past several weeks I've felt horrifically depressed, bordering on suicidal

>>17504591
>I start school soon and I can't do both at the same time.
Of course you can.

>>17504591

if wokring retail for two weeks leaves you thinking you will kill yourself, then please kill yourself.

>is it poor of me

yes. saying 'UGH BUT IM SO SPECIAL THAT I CANT STAND IT' does not make it less poor of you, it just makes oyu seem whiny on top of wanting to quit.

quit anyways though, who gives a fuck

>>17504587

depends if i knew them. as a general rule, yes. sometimes even if im sleeping with the cheater. often times no.

basically if im sleepign with a married man, and theres kids, im okay with it. they're just trying to get by until they can get a divorce when the kids are old enough

>>17504587
Do it, never trust a who're that's cheating to be with you anyway. Dealing with that shit with my soon to be ex-wife now

>>17504587
>I'm thinking of informing her boyfriend out of both spite and feeling sorry for the dude, as she's been cheating on him this entire time.
Do it for his sake man. There's no reason to believe he deserves a cheater so let him decide what he wants rather than hiding it.

Just sounds like she's shy and you're the only one she knows. This is another case of overthinking things

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>>17504473
so does she want me to ask her out or is she just being nice? Is she showing interest in having a relationship with me?

>>17504480
She mentioned food.. lunch or dinner. Ask her, without another 'guy'.

What u going fir? If engineering apply to mich tech

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No, go to the prestige school for your Masters.

>>17504491
I live in Monroe and that's like a 10 hour drive. Im also thinking more about pre med or biology than engineering.

>>17504452

you already know the answer, so why ask? that beign said even if hes on the curious side, hes not gonna go from zero to 'bottom' in one sex act.

Stop being gay you degenerate pervert.

Don't ruin a friendship just to get your dick wet. Nothing will be the same between you ever again, and I promise companionship and alliance is more valuable, more rewarding than lusting and fleeting intimacy.

It's the mistake we heteros make all the time when we conclude we have feelings for our female amigas. It seems like in your instance there's just a substantially greater amount of work involved: changing or momentarily altering someone's sexual preference.

I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt it's not worth it. And while you may find the chase appealing and the idea sexy, you better off mashing your own potatoes and calling it a night. Friends are so damned important in this world, and when you've run them all off, stuck your dick in them, you'll see how miserable, how lonely you can truly be.

>>17504444

>quads of 4

seriously htough, i dont have a profile so if you want more than your text rated, post your full pics in this thread too so i can give advice on that.

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>>17504453
Hello there, my name is Greg. I'm a simple creature with simple needs. I spend my free time playing video games (I'm not an addict), watching the occasional show or movie, or just screwing around on the internet laughing at dank memes. I mostly play PC games and I built my own machine. I'm witty and sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor. I like to make unironically bad puns and references when the opportunity presents itself, after which you are free to either pretend to laugh or glare at me in disappointment. I'm very blunt and honest, so I'm never going to sugarcoat something that needs an honest opinion. I try to be as self-aware as possible and I'm not afraid to acknowledge my flaws. I'm a great listener and I love hearing people's problems and giving advice.

If there's anything more you'd like to know, don't be afraid to send me a message. I have vastly different views on the world from the average person, so hopefully talking with me will be a breath of fresh air for you.

>>17504475

i dont think your main profile picture shoudl be one hwere you're 'making a face'. you want to come off as attractive as possible.

im aware you're not going for hot los angeles party girls or whatever here, but oyu still want to put your best food forward. funny faces can be saved if theres other photo options, but your main pic should be your most attractive self.

for more general in life stuff, id recommend growing your hair out a bit, looks really oddi n this photo. contacts go a long way, but they are not for everyone, and i think you can do alright with glasses on for what you seem to be aiming for.

id still take down certain references like 'dank memes' and while we get you love video games and likely want a girl who will do her own thing or play games as well, you might want to hint at something a little more. cuz right now im imagining my life with you and its just me sititng bored on facebook while you play video games/.

All in all. I am having doubts about my sexuality. Why was I crying? Is it because my first time was with a stranger? I am in the closet so can't really find someone nice... Help me please. I am having regret and thinking I am not gay if I didn't enjoy it that much. But I think if I tried top I'd like that more? He wanted to go back get lube and a condom and fuck my arse but I said no, don't find that appeal but I didnt wanted to fuck his but he wasn't attractive enough to ask

actually I don't even know if I liked sucking his dick
If it was a QT trap I wouldn't have minded. though

>>17504429
>>17504426

Jesus christ man that's a jumble of emotions you're describing - but not uncommon in your situation. You loved this but it was weird but you were turned on but it was unsettling but he was attractive but not in your league but so on and so forth.

I'm bi and I can tell you my goal posts do shift from time to time, whether it's related to hormones or whatnot I don't know. Sometimes I'm right into something with another dude, a month later it won't really grab me the same way - but it won't disgust me nor fill me with regret, shame, loathing or sadness at any time.

I think if you take a closer look at yourself you'll find you have some deep misgivings about your sexuality. It sounds to me like this was something you should have enjoyed from the description of your porn habits and previously assured self identity. You are closeted which means you are afraid of what people will think, which means that you believe that some or most people think that you are doing something wrong.

If you enjoy cock and find some men attractive you are bi or gay. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex with men, or particularly love every aspect of sex with men - it's no different to heterosexuality. Seems to me that you've blown your sexuality up into a big part of your identity, and yet you aren't entirely comfortable with your orientation in the first place.

I can't give you a magic bullet solution because there isn't one, because you aren't sure what you even think is happening. Again, if you like dick and you find a few dudes attractive that's cool. You shouldn't be in the closet about it unless you are in danger of being murdered or stoned over it, but at the same time you don't need to share it with the world, or live and breathe it every day. If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.

>>17504471

tl;dr

>If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.

Its not just Asian people it's all people.
t. 3rd gen immigrant

before you can expect people to understand you, you must try to understand them.

this isn't to say you should agree with them, but your life is the only you've ever known, and theirs is theirs. so think about theirs.

they may not (or at least not all of them) may not be saying that there is something wrong with your up bringing, but they might be curious. despite hwo non racist we think we are, we do tend to think of our species as having a sort of same mind.

so asians wont ask white people what its like growing up white, but they will ask another asian who was adopted because they subconsciously think of the asian as having some similar baseline they share that the white people dont.

its complex and ab it hard to explain, but you have to remember that even white kids adopted by white parents wonder what it'd be like to be raised by their real parents. that doesnt mean tehy hate their adopted parents or resent the situation.

but they are curious. and other people are curious. consider it part of the 'getting to know you' process.

like a gay guy having to explain that he doesnt take it up the butt

its called racism op. and it reaches all people, white, black, red, tan, yellow brown, purple, blue.

its sad people are like that
don't you wish everyone was like your parents
I do