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The sex with my fiance has stopped. I am not attracted to her body, sex is awkward and has always been, and she gets mad when I show it.
Can I get around this or is it insurmountable?
I always viewed marriage as a commitment to become a better person by learning to change with another but I'm not sure about this.
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dont marry her if you arent sure about it and have no lust either, guaranteed divorce
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>>18646512
Is there a way to work through it? I feel like I love her still and it pains me to leave
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>>18646541
i dont know, ofcourse itd pains you to leave, she will make your life hell for a short period
i mean ofcourse you can be avarage joe, marry a fat hag, then visit prostitutes, fuck the secretary in the office, then when you have 2 kids and your life is hell, divorce and remarry someone 20years younger but i wouldnt advise that
Anonymous
Thinking of suicide at this point. 2017-08-22 10:26:27 Post No.18646480
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Thinking of suicide at this point.
Anonymous
2017-08-22 10:26:27
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I can't afford university, in order to get the job i want or at least one that puts me in a place of financial comfort. I can't afford to move to a place that gives me employment options. I am tired of staying at home playing games and watching tv. Slowly becoming a shell of a human being. I just want to die. All my friends are gone, moving on with their lives making something of it. While i am stuck here. What can i do?
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>>18646480
Get a job. Any job. A McJob if necessary, just to get you out of the house.
Save your pennies to be able to move to someplace where there are better jobs.
Get a better job. Save your pennies.
Go to community college evenings. Get good grades. Get an AA degree.
Apply to universities. Use your good CC grades and life experience to apply for scholarships.
Scholarships pay for tuition, you live on saved pennies and part-time jobs.
Get degree. Enter chosen profession.
All this will take you a few more years than the average rich 18 year old. But many have done it this way before you and succeeded.
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>>18646480
Learn a trade, electrical is respectable.
Sounds like all you need is a job to get you out and about
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>>18646480
https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/careers.html
Ask your parents for cooperation?
Anonymous
Crippling insecurities 2017-08-22 10:07:41 Post No.18646449
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Crippling insecurities 2017-08-22 10:07:41 Post No.18646449
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How do i deal with this ? This shits is really taking a toll on my studies since i cant get past a difficult problem without getting stuck with it until i do it and this is making me get behind lessons. It's like a voice in my head saying i can't do it and i get myself constantly trying to prove myself to my own fucking mind...
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Step one is develop some self respect. Self respect comes from doing things you know are respectable. So find something you can do that you also respect and do it. Step two is developing confidence in your ability. Once you realize that you can do those things, and as you do them you can develop some confidence in your abilities, and by extension yourself. Then you repeat those steps with slightly more difficult things, building yourself up in small incremental steps.
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I need some help guys,
So my gf and me have only seen eachother once a week for the last 2 months and we kinda developed an akward distance to eachother since before that we lived together in our flat and spent everyday together (we both went home because of uni break). So yesterday i wanted to ask her why its been so akward lately and then she told me thinks she likes another guy. So right now im in shambles because our relationship lasted 3 years and we were happy most of the time and i lover her so much i thought i would marry her someday.
We talked over it again today and i told her i want to break up with her because i feel like she cheated on me and i felt like crap. The guy she "likes" was on a festival with her and they slept in the same tent, but she says she didnt cheat)
When i said i want to break up and wanted to go she said i should stay and we should talk.
So i stayed and talked and cried like a bitch (she didnt shed a tear but she looked startled, overwhelmed) and she got me to not break up with her ,but just for us to take a "break", because she told me she wants our relationship to be like it was when we lived together and doesnt even know why she "fell in love" with that other guy. So now were on this break but i feel so bad because the reason it got akward between us was that we didnt talk a lot and now we want to solve it by not talking?at all?
So should we just try to talk more with eachother or is the break the right idea? Am i an idiot for even trying? Would be nice to hear from someone with a similar experience!
I also feel like if i broke up with her she would come back to me eventually and see how stupid all of this was.
>pic related she kinda looks like this
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>>18646391
Break up and count your losses. She most definitely cheated.
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>>18646400
I wanted to but its so hard... i love her so much i wanted to fucking marry her..
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She fucked that guy anon.
The worst thing you can do now is be a pussy about it. It's hard I know, it really sux but you will regret the way you acted after you're over the breakup.
This may come as a shock but girls who love you don't 'fall in love' with other men.
Keep it real anon, don't lose touch with your manhood. Rough seas ahead. Godspeed.
Anonymous
Not sure what to do about my problem in the bedroom 2017-08-22 09:10:08 Post No.18646369
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Not sure what to do about my problem in the bedroom
Anonymous
2017-08-22 09:10:08
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My gf and I have had sex about 34 or four times and out out of the three or four times, I've managed to only cum once from vaginal sex. This is because she isn't wet anymore after the third orgasm she has or at least says it's too painful to continue. This makes it very frustrating for me because I can't get off from a blowjob, it's really stimulating but I can't manage to finish. That's not the worse part, the worse part is that she believes that its "all her fault" and starts crying because I didn't get off and how it's because "she's not pretty". I really like my girlfriend, in my eyes she's really sexy and no matter what I tell her she won't believe that's how I really feel. So now I feel faced with guilt and have to comfort her and I can't help to feel like I should be the one that is upset? Is it wrong to be upset about this in the situation withe circumstances i'm in? I don't masturbate anymore, I haven't in a month because I have her so my tolerance for pleasure should be low, it feels fantastic when I'm in her but apparently after 30 minutes, she can't take it anymore. If its just a moisture issue then use lube correct? If its pain related, how can I help amend that so we can continue or make her last longer? Or how can I insure that I can finish in the 30 minute window? I really have no idea what to do about this. Woman users, your input is greatly appreciated.
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Lube will definitely help with the dryness. She might be sensitive to introducing lube, and might feel inadequate for not producing enough to satisfy you. So it's important to communicate with her and remind her how great she is and how much pleasure she actually does bring you, and that the lube is just to introduce even more pleasure. Also, it might help her ego if you tell her that people don't necessarily need to orgasm to feel satisfaction from sexual intimacy.
On top of introducing the lube, take it nice and slow every now and then, especially after she orgasmed multiple times. Consider pulling out and going back to more foreplay, oral, handjobs, toys, etc to keep the sex and sensations going until you get worked up enough and she's recovered a bit more to take you in again
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>>18646385
Also, taking it slow and switching between penetration and oral etc etc might help get her wet again to the point you might not even need more lube
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>>18646385
Thank you for the advice. Is there a kind of lube that works best? I've seen quite a bit of kinds on the shelf at the store so I really don't know
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Weirdly particular problem here and I thought, why the hell not ask some anons for input.
I'm currently living in Japan (not an english teacher) and working part time for a website. I just interviewed at a Japanese company that makes machine parts. I came in a suit and tie with my most formal Japanese and found out the job was a little different.
Basically, its a year of working in a factory so you know the ins and outs of the business. After year one you get transferred to where they think you'd be most useful. As a white native english speaker its a foregone conclusion that I'll go into liaisons with foreign customers. The drawbacks being its in bumfuck nowhere and pay starts low (as do most jobs in Japan).
On the other end, I might have a job in the UK that wants me. I'm a pasty college educated fucker, and instead of working in a factory for a year making peanuts unless I stay there for a few years, I'd be doing research and writing reports, etc (which sounds a bit more fun on its own). I'd be in London, which is obviously more hip and fun, but also less safe than Japan.
Which should I bite the bullet and go for if it comes down to it?
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Single bump then live and let die
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The pros for the UK job seem to outweigh the cons here
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>>18646345
You don't make much of a case for the Japan job or against the UK job. That betrays where your feelings are.
Hello /adv/ my best friend was strongly addicted to heroin until 6 months ago. She saw a doctor who helped her out with that and she's clean for 6 months atm. But yesterday she told me she ordered heroin, to take it occasionally because she is missing the feeling...
I don't want her to take any gram of this anymore. Any advice for convincing her?
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Make her understand that if she gets back into this she'll have to get through the exact same shit eventually. There's no middle ground with heroin
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>>18646410
This is true. However, good fucking luck convincing an addict not to use.
I hate to break it to you anon, but the more you try to stop her from using, the more she'll want to continue. An addict has to want to get clean for themself to ever make a real go at it. It will be hard, but you've gotta just let her keep making the same mistakes until she realizes it's no good for her.
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Rat to the cops. Prison is a good way to get sober.
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Me: "Im not happy"
Them: "Then do something that will make you happy."
Me: "Okay then. I will then-"
Them: "Whoa. Hold the fuck on there!"
Me: "Im not happy, but Im afraid pursuing that happiness will make others sad"
Them: "Just do it! I always did what made me happy. Fuck how other people feel."
Me: "Okay then. I will then-"
Them: "Dont do that. It's an inconvenience to me and will make me sad."
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>>18646307
There is a difference between being a selfish jackass and doing nothing for yourself. Everything is a balance.
Kinda like food. If you shove bon-bons in your facehole all day and never move your legs you will become a gross blob, while if you don't eat you will become a scab ridden skeleton. Life is a balance.
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Do whatever makes you happy.
But your examples need a bit more context. Cause if the thing that you want to do that might make them unhappy happens to be, say, shooting up a school or molesting a child, then you know... Don't do that.
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>>18646313
>>18646323
Obviously everything is done in moderation. However I dont understand why these people offer advice, but then change their minds at the slightest indication that their would be an inconvenience to them. Or if my plan is a bit more drastic - they suddenly want to have a meeting that never comes and everything just quietly goes back to the way it was.
How do I get motivated?
I've always been pretty lazy to begin with, and my life being lazy was enabled by my parents divorcing and not having much time for me. They did most of the housework and I was never even really taught a lot of basic things, and never really got motivated growing up to learn it all myself. I've just kind of spent all my time rotting in my room on games or whatever. Now I'm sitting here 19 with a handful of misc. college courses under my belt and a few weeks (basically none) of work experience under my belt. My last job made me want to leave after just that long. I acknowledge to myself this is all just me making something out of nothing, but I still can't bring myself to apply for jobs. There's nothing stopping but I just can't. I can't trust myself to hold myself accountable for my workload in college either, I never really have throughout my earlier school years either. I feel embarrassed that I'm just kind of stuck for no reason. Is there anybody else who has dealt with these kinds of feelings, and can provide some insight or advice? Do I have an anxiety disorder that's stopping me from making the move and I just don't realize it or something, or am I really just that much of a lazy shitbag? I genuinely want to function normally, I just for some reason can think bring myself to make the steps.
Sorry for rambling if you see it that way. Also unrelated pointless picture since that's just kinda required.
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>>18646292
Go to a psichologist to check if you're on depression, your divorced parents may feel guilty and pay it for you.
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>>18646292
Someday Mommy will stop cooking for you and you will get hungry, and you'll discover a motivation to work.
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>>18646461
Whether that was supposed to be sarcasm or actual advice, the truth is im not cooked for every night, and often just go without eating because of the same reason.. just no motivation to actually do it even if it's something I probably should be.
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I'm not sure if I have depression and/or anxiety. I doubt that I do. But there are instances when I feel sad, I feel alone. My thoughts consume me. It's a sick feeling to let those overpower you while you keep telling yourself that this is just temporary, this is not true. I'm usually doing pretty okay, but there are days when this feeling hits me again. The only time I don't feel it is when I'm distracted by other things, or when I'm high or when I'm with my small group of friends. I've tried to adopt hobbies to distract me from this too and it's been quite successful. Then there are days where I get these episodes where my chest feels weird. It feels like there's a hole there which is trying to close on itself and pulling at the edges or trying the consume the edges of itself. This usually occurs with a difficulty to breathe. This lasts for a several minutes after which it harmoniously transforms into a sinking feeling again. I'm only posting this here because inside I think I might explode if I don't talk to someone. I have nobody to talk to right now who I think would listen.
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I have felt something similar to what you described when I had acute depression. Since then I tried to find different ways to improve my life, including my attitude, the way I treated people in my life and how often I would reach out to them, taking up productive activities and hobbies, eating better, etc.
A friend let me borrow a book called Mud and Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh. It was very relevant to me and taught me how to embrace and transform suffering
Anonymous
Kinda over my friends. 2017-08-22 07:54:21 Post No.18646246
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Kinda over my friends. 2017-08-22 07:54:21 Post No.18646246
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Im a skinny nerd weakling that lives in a dingey apartment in dead end small town. This winter, im moving to a big city.
I want to change my life, I see this as me turning a new leaf. I want to get in good shape, starting now. I want to take care of myself and be healthy, I have been eating junk food my entire life. I want to get involved with sports, MMA and basketball, maybe biking and swimming on the side. I want to go to clubs and raves and music festivals and travel. I want to learn how to cook, grill, and focus on a career.
The thing is, very few of my friends are doing this stuff. I feel alone. A few have moved on and are starting families, I can respect that. But I dont like the people that are doing nothing. Sitting in their moms basement at age 25, watching anime. One of them is getting married soon, to a feminist pig. These people tell me the lifestyle I want to lead breeds "Toxic masculinity" and the such. They still collect action figures, theyre interested in fantasy I was into in highschool and havent cared about in years. Its to the point where when I make new friends (or hang out with old friends that are different) I cant even tell them about these people, they'd just think i'm weird. I hung out with some of these people last week, a good meal to them is hotdogs, I suggested going out to a restaurant and the bar and they just got really rude. We sat in and watched cartoons, one of them even stole some food from my fridge before he left and the rest of them said that I deserve it for "being an asshole" and suggesting we go to try to meet women.
I'm done with being a pussy nerd. Yea, I'll always stay true to myself but I've grown up now. I'm too non-confrontational to tell my friends to get fucked, but we're nothing alike anymore and I just think theyre lazy dick heads. There state of mind and lifestyle is so lazy its disgusting and embarrassing. The women theyre into are disgusting and their entire state of mind makes me ashamed.
What do I do?
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>what do I do?
You answered your question:
"
I want to change my life, I see this as me turning a new leaf. I want to get in good shape, starting now. I want to take care of myself and be healthy, I have been eating junk food my entire life. I want to get involved with sports, MMA and basketball, maybe biking and swimming on the side. I want to go to clubs and raves and music festivals and travel. I want to learn how to cook, grill, and focus on a career."
Do what makes you happy. Haters gonna hate. You'll attract like minded people eventually
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Family is already talking about Christmas and New Years. Thing is Im sick of spending it at the same place for the dozenth time and barely tolerating my relatives.
All my friends intend to spend that time with their families, so now I feel a bit out on my own. However I dont want to spend that time alone at home.
What do people do on their own during that time? Should I rather take my chances and travel to the US to see somebody I like (who may not like me back) and spend that time over there instead?
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>>18646243
You have loads of time to come up with an idea that will lure at least some of your friends to change their plans and join you.
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in class I'm pressing and rubbing a soft bubble of a pen tip against my lower lip.
is this sexual?
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The pen wants to fuck
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>>18646219
>soft bubble of a pen tip
what did he mean by this?
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>>18646228
there's a new japanese pen when the end is a bubble to rub out the black ink.
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I need some .adv/ice
My "best friend" is a loser. He does nothing but whines about his ex and his mental issues. I want to help him as much as I can but I can't get through to him no matter how hard I try.
Lately, he's been getting worse, he's trying to find EVERY excuse he can to not go see his psychologist or a therapist, then comes up with a reason as to why he can't goto the gym. He gets in these depressed ass moods and lets himself ride out his anxiety instead of fixing them.
When he gets upset or doesn't get his way, he acts like a 12-year-old and rages and threatens me he's going to blackmail me if I call him a child or anything like it. Almost every other day it's like this and he's just letting his anger get to him and letting all these moods fluctuate like they are with no repercussions. He acts like it's ok to act like this.
>him
>I don't know how to talk like an adult when I'm upset so instead, i blow up at you and call you names
>when I don't get my way and neither party does, I post memes over and over.
>I don't talk my problems out because I'm not sure how to cause no one taught me as an adult so now I need a shrink to tell me how to adult.
>>be me
>try to talk to him about anything
>tells me to be detailed like he has asked in the past
>does so with previous
>says he read the last sentence because that's all he needs
>completely gets everything wrong
>tells him so.
>thinks so
>gets upset and says "Don't start!"
>Literally not starting shit but letting him know that he's wrong.
>>him
>can't stand to be wrong
>gew up thinking he was so smart
>admits to me that when he met me, that he realized how much he didn't know and how not smart he was.
So what do yall think?
Is my best friend just really toxic?
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Do you still talk to this guy/girl in person? Through the phone at least?People go through shit and it changes them. I know I have. Because some people are just that complicated. They live lives you might not ever know about, and the worst part of it is thay god forbid they grew up with toxic people. Because if that person has ever experienced some form of traumatic experience then it would make sense. If hes actively trying to make things right with himself and others while bolstering an immunity of said toxicity, you would be surprised. I grew up with toxic people and have met incredibly nice people during my time. I know that when something bad happens here, I have to take it in. Is he or she poor? You have to consider these things in all honesty.
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forgot to mention in the first part about the loser. I thought it maybe a good idea to explain him a bit more.
He goes to work nightly. He talks to his co-workers. He tells me all the time how they don't listen to him and see him as a child/teenager joking around and don't take him seriously. That's because he doesn't know how to.
He goes to a place down the road to play board games but doesn't get to know anyone because he thinks they are instantly judging him for no reason. I explain that he's a nerd, they notice that. They see how he is and is cool with it. I told him likely, they are sweaty ass nerds creepy nerds that don't care what he looks like and so on.
Then gets on POF and wants to talk their heads off and I explain to him that just saying hi is all you need to do. I do it. I just say "what's up?" or comment on their shit they have in their bio. He thinks women are complicated.
I want to help him but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm running out of ideas /adv/
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How old is he?
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Tips for dating a Wiccan girl? Is she going to sacrifice my soul or something?
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It depends. Are you a virgin?
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>>18646201
Yes, but I've fingered her already. Does that help here?
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>>18646198
make sure you have this pic with you whatever happens, also get it blessed in the church for maximum effect in defending you from the dark forces and dark spells