Anonymous
Graduate Schools Thread 2016-09-05 03:47:14 Post No.17533828
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Graduate Schools Thread 2016-09-05 03:47:14 Post No.17533828
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Hey /adv/,
I've just started my sophomore year at a really shitty undergrad university as a double major in chemistry and biology. I really had to pick this one because I got good financial aid through their honors program and I have to stay local to help family (alcoholic dad, sister with seizures who can't really be alone, etc.). I have a 4.0 so far (really not impressive given how shitty this school is but with my luck it'll probably drop), and I'm interested in applying to graduate schools after matriculation.
I'm interested in studying genetics and have been able to do research there the summer before I started my freshman year and was just awarded a $4k grant this past summer. I've also just become a TA for the freshman lab I took last year (only one I am able to TA).
I'm feeling pretty damn hopeless, depressed, and riddled with anxiety. There's people who go to way better schools than I do that don't get accepted into good graduate programs, so I feel like it's foolish to even think I have a shot. I wanted to know if anyone had any sound advice. Should I just give up? Is there anything else that I should be doing?
I just need someone to talk to about this, and any solid advice is really appreciated. Thanks.
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bump please very desperate
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>>17533828
Not sure why you think the rank of your undergraduate school matters that much. I went to a state school barely in the top 100, and got into a top 20 school for my field.
Sure, there are probably some limits, if it's a low tier community college then you probably won't make it to Harvard, but all things considered what school you got your Bachelor's in doesn't matter that much.
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>>17533828
All about your grades and extra curriculars. You're doing fine and honestly this sounds like a subtle brag
I dated a girl for about a year and we broke up in May 2015. Our relationship had deteriorated over time, and I stopped enjoying it. We fought frequently and there was a very real sense that she was more invested in it than me.
It wasn't a clean break-up at all. We stayed in touch for another year, and had a FWB relationship where she'd visit me at school every couple months and we'd get dinner and hook up. She still had strong feelings for me during this, and while I also had feelings for her, I wasn't ready to start dating again (though that's what she wanted). We both dated and hooked up with other people during this time.
Fast forward to this summer, and I could sense that she was becoming a little distant. I started to feel more strongly about dating her, and reached out. She knew I was interested, and agreed to meet up with me for a drink. When we spoke on the phone, it sounded like she was also interested in maybe rekindling things.
When we met up a week later, she told me she had just started seeing someone, which meant she didn't want continue our relationship. She asked if I wanted to stay friends, and I said no. It was sort of a "goodbye forever" thing when we departed.
That was on August 17 (2-3 weeks ago). I haven't texted or called her since that night, though I've been thinking about calling her every day.
Why do I feel like such crap right now? I ended things with us originally, and didn't want to start dating again despite knowing she wanted to. I have no idea why all of a sudden I want her back. Should I call her?
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bump bump bump
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No, ever again.
The fact she is seeing someone should tell you that she is not interested anymore and she already moved out. You should do the same. Do not waste your dignity trying to get her back. Even if you manage to get back together, It will not work out. Trust me.
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>>17533827
I'm just so bummed that the timing wasn't right.
I broke up with her and she had such a difficult time getting over me. Once she finally does, I want to be with her again and she starts seeing someone.
Is it wrong that I just want to give it one final shot?
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How to develop a healthy relationship with food?
21f, 168 (5'6) and ranging between 50-55kg (110-120lbs) all the time.
Usually when I do groceries for myself, I don't buy any snacks or unhealthy food because I'll all eat it right away. Like I'll literally open the package and binge and I don't know why I do it. I don't think I have an eating disorder, at least not mentally. With the way my body is, I don't consider myself fat but I'm not happy. I'm going to live abroad alone for a year and I am really worried about what to eat/what to cook, and if I'll be able to take care of myself.
At my worst, the last time I lived on my own I weighted in 48kg, eating under 1000 calories a day out of habit (no meat and fish, just veggies and fruit, sometimes egg).
Should I consult a nutrition expert or follow a meal plan? Or should I turn to more extreme support? I just want to eat normally.
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>>17533737
exercise
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>>17533737
Is that you in the pic?
If so, you're not fat. Just the right range for a tiny pixie like you.
But yeah, exercise harder to keep it off.
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>>17533755
That's not me. My weight borders healty//underweight.
>>17533740
How much? Is there a routine for starters? The country I'm going to doesn't really have gyms, though I can bring my running clothes.
>inb4 >>/fit/
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Alright here's my situation:
>be autistic guy 4 years ago
>meet really shy girl who's in my class
>become close friends
>she wants a relationship although she's too shy to admit it
>really shocked, I decide we should try
>break up after two weeks cause I can't handle the pressure
>become friends and enemies in intervals
>fast forward to present, she becomes my friend with benefits because we wanted to lose our virginity and we decided it was meant to happen with each other (she actually approached me with this)
>keep having regular sex and going out but no serious stuff
Knowing her she's falling for me once again. I made it clear that I don't see her as something more than a friend aka I'm not in love with her, she said she doesn't mind.
Here's the deal: I have huge guilt and I really don't know how the fuck to handle this. I really care for her, she's a good girl and I'm really jealous when she brings up a boy and stuff, but I don't love her. I feel like I'm hurting her although she denies this (I tried to end it and she cried all night long, later I apologized and explained what I really thought about the whole thing and apparently we mixed things up).
What the hell do I do? I really like her and I want her there for me because I'm an egocentric fuck but I know perfectly that this won't work for long. I'll want to see another girl eventually, and she must do so as well with other guys but she just wants me.
She has told me in occasions that she feels like I used her, it's really intoxicating my head. Thanks for reading, I needed to get this out.
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>>17533724
This is a tough one because she's a nice girl. I get it, some piece of shit you could just cut up and have no guilt. You are using her now and it is hurting her. Not the first time, but this ongoing fucking when you know she digs you and you will bail first sweet thing that crosses your path. Have that end it chat again but stop telling her you care for her and like her and get jealous because that sounds like a guy that wants her.
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>>17533738
Well that hurted. I really do care for her although I know it doesn't seem like it, we had a lot of history together and I it's really hard for me to do this.
Yes I know it sounds like bullshit but believe me, we went through a lot and I need her as much as she needs me. Every time we break up I regret it and go after her or vice versa. I do hate myself for this.
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>>17533765
But OP it's not fair to her in the long run because you don't want her.
That said, consider that love and companionship comes at you in many ways and and it is nearly impossible to find a person that loves and supports you and loyal forever. Doesn't take your breath away but it's solid.
Anonymous
I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up 2016-09-05 02:57:38 Post No.17533677
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I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up 2016-09-05 02:57:38 Post No.17533677
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I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up
Anonymous
2016-09-05 02:57:38
Post No. 17533677
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I fantasize about transforming into a disgusting horrifying monster and IMAGINE killing people brutally. I used to watch videos of terrorists and people getting killed when I was enraged in high school. Am I fucked up?
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>>17533677
one thing people don't realize is that morality is not intrinsic.
morality was born out of society and understanding and knowledge. the idea that we dont need to act this way and the best way to live a happy life is to not have people act that way against you.
someone who is naturally just a calm person without any bad thoughts isn't better than you. he is more or less ignorant.
its not until you've been tested that you can say you have strong morals. strong morals means doing the right thing even when you dont want to. not just simply living a cushy enough life that you dont feel the need to go against what is considered moral.
I used to think it was stupid to cheat, why would you do that, so dumb. but then i was actually presented the circumstances fori t, and i was not nearly as strong as i thought i was.
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>>17533688
So basically as long as I dint hurt nobody I'm essentially normal? Don't worry, I had no plans of doing such a thing
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>>17533710
basically yes. and depending on your definition of 'hurt' you're still kidn of normal. i've been in several bar fights just cuz i had a bad day. threw a guy at a chair just cuz he called me a faggot.
everyone has some level of violencei n their life. im not saying go out and do anything, but you have to realize, humans are animals. we have choice, and we should exercise it, but shit happens.
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>been with girlfriend for about two and a half years
>two months after we began dating, she left me and went to visit her ex out of state
>says it's because I was a drunk
It was true at the time.
>take her back because I love her
>still drink on occasion, but nowhere near what I was having before
>she still bitches if I have two beers
>100% against alcohol, so boring
>i love every other aspect of our relationship though
>not gonna quit my weekend drinks for anyone
Is this a deal breaker? She left ME, first of all. Secondly, I have cut down from every day to twice a week, no problem. She refuses to acknowledge my progress, and instead berates me on the first beer. How should I handle this?
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>>17533643
she saw you at your worst and that is not pleasant and fearful you will slide. You need to decide if drink means more than her or she more than drink.
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Also I never drink like I used to. My father had recently died, and I was a bit out of control. I never drink to blackout, and I am never hostile unless she starts badgering me. I'm the friendliest drinker I know.
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>>17533657
I have told her if she would let me, I'd pop a few pain pills on the weekend. No go.
I am not an out of control addict. I work full time, cook, and clean. I am 100% loyal (unlike her). I just enjoy my weekly escape.
It's a no go though. She spends $80+ on weed per week, but I can't experience a cheaper, REAL high?
Anonymous
I fucked up really bad 2016-09-05 02:44:16 Post No.17533637
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I fucked up really bad 2016-09-05 02:44:16 Post No.17533637
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About 3 weeks ago I started talking to this girl, i'm 21 and she is 19 things went pretty well we met up a few times and had a really good time together, she even wanted to hang out just us two together rather than bring other people which really impressed me. I really like her, she is quite literally the closest to my ideal type of girl in every way from her sense of humour to how she dresses etc. Last night when we were drinking we talked alot about really personal stuff and we spent the entire time hinting we liked each other, she also told me she was a virgin and was waiting for the right one. She kept talking about her ex bf, a guy online who she never met in real life and said he was the one but they broke up because he cheated on her and he keeps threatening her that he willl kill himself if she has anyone else. Later that night we were lying in the same bed cuddling and it just felt right I kissed her and she kissed back but then started crying saying her ex would now hate her and be angry. The next morning she barely even looked at or spoke to me she just kept crying and texting him saying she was sorry and he was getting pretty pissed at her. I don't know what to do I still like her and I thought she liked me
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sounds like a psycopath with a personality disorder. abandon ship
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Conflicted girl is conflicted...
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>>17533637
You didn't fuck up.
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I'm nervous about getting a job or internship. I'm an engineering student in a "top 10" University, with a 2.68 GPA, because I'm a mediocre/bad student.
However, I have a bunch of various experiences in technical clubs (SAE, Robotics), am president of a large social club, and have competed and made the finalist round in a tech start-up competition (not Computer Science related), as well as a few other independent projects. I also have held a lab tech position for 2 years now.
I do fairly well when I get interviewed, if I get interviewed. I've no problems getting some basic service-industry job for money or whatever, but I really want an internship for this summer...but I have no idea how to do so.
I don't have real connections, despite my wider social circle, and a bad GPA that sticks out like a sore thumb on resumes at career fairs (it is on the upswing, however). I'm also in my Junior year. What do I do?
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Why not leave your GPA off your resume?
Just highlight your achievements, like placing at the tech competition, or having something tangible you've done that you can show employers
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>>17533629
I've heard conflicting things about that. A recruiter from one company will say "It's much better to leave a bad GPA on the resume, since otherwise we'll assume the worst anyway" and it's students who'll say "leave it off"
What do? I feel the recruiter has a shred more credibility.
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>>17533591
Talk to your university's job placement department. Particularly as regards the STEM fields, this is literally what they are there for. They can also help you with
connections.
So I'm starting college in a matter of weeks. Any general advice over what I should do while there?
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>>17533536
If you're an extrovert you'll have fun
If you're an introvert you'll not have fun
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>>17533574
Peggy's right.
>>17533536
Even fucking social retards can make friends easy there. You just need to put yourself out there and have some fun.
(keyword: SOME. Do your homework, too.)
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Do your homework. Attend your classes. You are the deciding factor on whether or not it was worth it. I personally hate college even though I've just started but that's because my college put me into a situation where I found out I was admitted two days before classes started. The atmosphere is very chill and relaxing, though.
I hope this doesn't come off as impulsive anxiety, but I need to get it off my chest and get some other opinions on this, and this seemed like the best place. People on this board are generally honest, so thanks for anything you have to offer.
Anyway, my girlfriend's birthday was last Saturday. We haven't gone all the way yet, but recently started hopping bases.
I'll keep this as SFW as possible:
>I helped her to finish once with my hands
>I then ejaculated on her butt
>just a little bit seemed runny and sort've dripped down her buttcheek into her crack
>I wiped it all up the best I could with some tissues
>we chilled for awhile, and since it was her birthday, I brought her to orgasm twice more with just my hands
>penetration of any kind with our genitals never took place
Fastforward to today, and I stumbled across an article talking about ways to get pregnant. It contained all kinds of stuff about how long sperm can live after hitting the air (up to 5 days), how sperm is made to fight and travel to the egg, how female fluids help sperm to travel up to the egg, etc.
My overthinking brain of course jumps to the worst conclusion.
>She was at the end of her period
>here was a lot of fluid coming from her
>that little bit of semen did drip down her crack
>I have no idea how far, but you never know
>of course then more fluid was released the two more times I fingered her
>she is on birth control, but you never know
/adv/ am I just completely being autistic on this? I know the chances are slim, but idk I can't get that feeling out of my stomach.
That fear of life being so drastically changed. We are both just 19. Should I worry at all?
Any advice you can offer at all is greatly appreciated.
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>don't worry
>decide what you would do if it was the case
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>>17533491
>penetration of any kind with our genitals never took place
>she is on birth control
>/adv/ am I just completely being autistic on this?
do they teach you faggots nothing in school?
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>>17533491
no, unless she's having intercourse with another guy
Help please.. How come girls don't like me? They like my personality but don't want to date or fuck. My female friend with a bf has some friends that are girls but even none then aren't interested. Naturally, I tried tinder and waited a long time with it but literally get no matches. What are the true chances for a guy like me? Am I just unappealing?
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You know, the first time I saw Brandon, I thought he was really cute. But the more I see him, the uglier he gets.
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>>17533388
Well, that's because his mug gets posted every other day, famslam.
Mugs get worse the more you look at them. That' why they're used in only the best coffees and cocoas when the time's right.
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>>17533382
Is there any other guy who has been more role played here than him?
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How I can be a hero?
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>>17533378
Noose on neck
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Stop watching anime and try as hard as you can to make people happy
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>>17533378
Be kind and thoughtful.
Alternatively, become a firefighter or paramedic.
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Growing my beard out and I love it, but what do girls think of a man with a beard? Sometimes I get self conscious about it, but I want to keep growing it and not confident about it.
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Looks good on some guys, not on others. You look like a lumberjack in your 30s, so if that's what you're going for, keep it.
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Most women think beards are ugly, and they very easily end up smelling and looking unsanitary and unsightly.
A masculine man can pull off a beard. Masculine-looking men generally look gay with one if they don't have the vibe to go with the look.
I grow a beard when I am at sea- when I am at home, I shave it off. I don't worry about my wife's opinion, but she likes it.
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>>17533377
If that's you, there's something off about the way you look. I can't quite tell what it is. I think the beard and the way you have your hair styled makes you look very oblong.
>what do girls think of a man with a beard?
I like them as long as they're well-kept. Maybe trim the mustache area just a bit (so that it's not covering your lips--kind of gross) and shape it a little on the sides so that's it's not a giant, hairy blob.
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Hello /adv/. I'm slowly going out of my mind. I'm in college, I work at McDonald's, I have dyscalculia so I'm struggling in both school and work, and when I'm not doing these things, I'm watching my kid brother.
What I'm getting at is: I need stress relief. A lot of it. I constantly find myself thinking, "Holy shit, I need a smoke," but I don't smoke. And I don't really want to start smoking. But are there any E-cigs or ways to vape or anything of that nature that won't kill me by the time I'm twenty?
Tldr I need a smoke but don't wanna start smoking. Tips besides "better stress management" pls?
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>>17533344
Have you ever had nicotine?
I would recommend you find another outlet, rather than something negative and addictive..
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Just watch some anime. It helps me when I'm stressed. I'm a filthy weaboo though. Maybe try reading a book. Something that involves escapism.
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You can get an e-cig with a "juice" that doesn't have any nicotine in it. But you'll have to fork out the money for a legit one. There's crappy e-cigs you can get in drugstores but they all have nicotine in them.
Are they any hobbies you're interested in that you've never tried out, or that you've dropped? Something like art, music, writing, sports, gaming, reading, anything like that. That's a more positive method of stress relief.
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I'm a 24 year old male living in Chicago. I live at a nursing home for the mentally ill. I get 24/7 nurse and cna care. I can't leave the nursing home until I get better except for family passes on the weekends.
I feel really depressed and sometimes I just want to flat out die. I attempted suicide in the past by running in front of a moving car. I fractured my clavicle, broke some ribs, punctured my left lung, and left little chips in my spine.
I know I am depressed but I don't know what's truly wrong with me. I'm diagnosed Schizo-Affective with Bipolar Disorder and Depression. When I was a kid I had ADD and Dysthymia later. I've only heard voices a couple times in my life and never saw anything that wasn't there. I don't know how relevant bipolar is since I don't have wild mood swings.
Everyday, I take Haldol and Wellbutrin. Every two weeks I get an IM injection of Haldol that lasts for that long. And sometimes I take Cogentin, Ativan, and a brown pill that looks like an mnm that I can't name off the top of my head.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm moving in a dark cloud. A girl that I met who's new at the nursing home saw me an immediately clung to me. We had sex and later she told me she thought I was like a celebrity or something.
My friends increasing said as they faded away was that I wasn't acting normal although sometimes I would and I would know it and so would they. People sometimes think I'm retarded or stupid. I barely talk at all and run away from social situations as soon as I see an exit no matter how awkward it is.
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I keep myself content by walking around the building and smiling while thinking of funny things in my head. People say they have no problem with it but I suspect people think it's weird. People have told me (outside of the nursing home at least) I don't talk at all or am weird and I always acknowledge it but it doesn't just go away. It makes me feel moot.
I do this thing with my ears like popping them when you're on an airplane. I developed it into a habit associated with my mental health and I do it all the time.
I don't know what to do that will help me out. My dad says one day I will just snap out of it. My mom always says to talk one day at a time.
I feel lower than human, like a eunuch or a dog.
I can just lay down all day and think until it's time to go to sleep without barely getting up to use the bathroom or get something to eat or drink.
I know there are labels like depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, but I don't think I'm exactly any of those.
I just want it to go away so badly. My whole life feels dead. Everyday I wake up and feel like I just died. Almost everyone I've talked to says it will not go away but you can live with it or recover from it. I simply want it to go away and be banished from my life. I never feel like a guy who can communicate on any level, do what I need to do to feel like myself.
In terms of work, I've been in the army, and worked labor, temp, and retail. I got kicked out of the army because I read exactly how to get kicked out without having a dishonorable discharge or something once boot camp is done before I even shipped out.
There is this cloud of nothing surrounding me. I feel like a screensaver on a computer. I think I have a brain and I'm just not using it.
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Please help, I know how retarded my writing looks.
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>>17533307
Are you in Uptown?