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I have a difficult time connecting with anyone romantically? How to fix this? 2016-09-10 04:46:34 Post No.17552277
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I have a difficult time connecting with anyone romantically? How to fix this? 2016-09-10 04:46:34 Post No.17552277
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I have a difficult time connecting with anyone romantically? How to fix this?
Anonymous
2016-09-10 04:46:34
Post No. 17552277
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I'm 20, in college, and while I've dated around, I've only seriously cared for two women in my life. One of them I've dated, the other one I didn't. Both of those women I practically fell in love with because they were so much like myself and we got along very well.
Attracting attractive women isn't my problem. My problem is connecting with any of them. I can get along with them. Like right now my friend's girlfriend set me up with one of her friends, and while she's a great girl and I find her attractive, I don't feel any connection with her.
Is there any way to find out why it is I have a hard time connecting? It seems like anyone that goes on a date can connect romantically, but I have such a hard time. I want to, but it always ends up with them having feelings for me, but me not returning the feelings for them. The sexual spark is there, but nothing that makes me think "I genuinely want to spend precious time with this person."
>Am I just fucked in the head that I can't feel anything romantically with anyone that I don't think is basically perfect?
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stop trying to force it and wait until you find a girl you like
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>>17552280
But isn't that how you find a girl you like? I asked a question like this a year ago, and someone told me "You have to sift through the duds before you find the one right for you."
I thought that after a bit of trial and error I would find someone that would at least give me butterflies in my stomach, but I haven't.
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Sounds like you haven't given trial and error much time. You won't find your soulmate in a few weeks. Probably not even months. Finding compatibility and the puzzle piece that fits to you takes time. Also stop thinking about connection and worrying about it so much. Focus on making friends and then perhaps one day you'll realize that this person is someone you truly care for and they are the one.
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I got my heart absolutely destroyed, my high school sweetheart who I dated for 8 years dumped me. I felt like complete dog shit so I started going out and dating. I'm not ugly and I'm tall so I didn't have much of an issue. I slept with a few of them but I met this girl who is an absolute sweetheart. She's one of the nicest girls I've ever met. We have been hanging out every weekend the past 5 weeks. Tomorrow I'm thinking of telling her that I don't see her as a friend and I wanna pursue dating her. How do I go about this? She's an old college class mate so I hope she doesn't think I'm taking her out to just be friends. I'm gonna make a move tomorrow just so she knows my intentions. It's been about 4 months since I got dumped
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Go for it son, I don't see an issue here just don't become a whipped beta cuck
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Go on a serious date, i.e. a dinner and then take her back to your pIace.
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Take it slow. There's a chance you could be rebounding. I was in a similar situation and after breaking up with the love of my life I started dating this really sweet nice girl. It was going swell but I just was not over my ex even after 4 months...to be honest I still am not and its been over a year now.
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hey /adv/, i want to fucking kill myself but i don't want to suffer that much.
Any recomendation?
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How much money do you have op?
Are you heaIthy or do you have heaIthy probIems?
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>>17552212
> 20 dlls
> healthy
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>>17552215
20 bucks?
Why do you have no money Imao.
No job? Which country do you Iive in?
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I know kung fu, it's pretty much all I've done for the last 8 years.
I'd like to start making youtube videos for something related to that, but I don't know what.
Something unique and fun...
Any ideas? I can't imagine there are a lot of people with 8 years of martial arts experience, and 12 years of production experience.
Also, I'm not Asian, in case that matters some how...
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Teach kung fu to ppl who have never even heard of kung fu in there life. Starting from the absolute ground 1. Then after each video, give them some way they could practice the steps at home,without any equipment,That would help them in real world situations
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>>17552208
>kung fu
>help in real world situation
Kek
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>>17552208
I can't make instructional videos because it would be disrespectful to my school, and I'd rather not get excommunicated... Besides, people would just learn shit all sloppy with nobody to correct their mistakes anyway...
time for a basic ass question
how can I kiss a girl for the first time. This will be the 3rd time we have gone out and I haven't kissed her yet. I just feel like we are never sitting close enough to do it or anything
I don't want to just leap out and dive at her face.
but certainly she wants to kiss me if we are still going out together, right?
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>>17552196
you can always be lame and ask her.
Or say something a little more ballsy like "are you ever going to get close enough for me to kiss you"?
Anything, really. If she likes you enough to go out for a 3rd time, she wouldn't mind a kiss from you. Most girls would've ghosted you, or let you down easy via text by now if they weren't interested.
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After the date when u hug bye u say, can I kiss you? She'll be like yeh. If she says no that's ur que to fuck her.jk to leave her.
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>>17552246
>asking for a kiss
Never ask, just go for it. She'll duck out of the way if she really doesn't like you, but chances are she'll just let you lay one on her and then complain to her friends that you were too forward...
>doesn't matter, got mouth laid!
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I'm allergic to green tea. Realized after getting zero side effects from hash that I'm only allergic to the leafy part of marijuana.
Can't find any correlation to green tea & marijuana that would make me allergic. Any thoughts?
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You can be allergic to more than one thing. If I had to make a guess, they probably share a chemical that you're allergic too. Or they may not share anything, and your body just hates unrelated aspects in both items.
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>>17552195
Trace amounts of pesticides/herbicides/fungicides... I used to have some friends that grew their own pot. The amount of shit they put on a single plant was ridiculous. "Nah bro, I stopped spraying it a week before I picked the plant. It's totally safe!"
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>>17552204
The reaction I get from both is heart palpitations and increased heart rate with social anxiety. It's not the caffeine. I downed 3 shots today, heartrate is nowhere near the effects of the reaction.
Can I lose my job for going into a mental ward for a few weeks?
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Someone please.
I'm losing control of shit and I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.
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to what extent
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>>17552340
What what extent?
The amount of alcohol that I require to function is becoming alarming and I'm starting to cease to function at all.
When/how did you get your first gf/bf, anon?
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rolled over and just kissed her partway through a movie. She'd gone out of her way to hang out with me alone, so I figured, why not?
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>>17552172
I haven't.
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>>17552178
How long had you two known each other before this?
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>gf is stressed about something (usually something small like a college test or a friend is ignoring her)
>gets moody in general and especially with me
>try to comfort her, help her through it
>moodiness and moping gets worse and worse
>like to the point where I'm getting treated legitimately poorly for days and getting treated like a punching bag and having my emotional needs not met
How can I talk to my girlfriend about this? She's normally very sweet and loving but every time even a small amount of stress comes her way she almost completely shuts down. If I talk about it when she's in a moody state, she gets extremely angry and ultimately nothing is worked out. If I talk about it when she's normal, she feels a little bad about it but promises nothing and blames it all on the stressor.
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Girls your age all sucj.
Why fucking bother with a relationship at this point?
Get the fuck out of college and enjoy as many fuck-buddies as you can along the way
TRUST ME
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She needs a healthy coping strategy to deal with these episodes, where she's not taking her frustrations out on you, even on accident. It doesn't matter if she doesn't mean to hurt you if she does. You may wanna go to couples therapy or get her some free appointments to deal with her frustrations in a more functional way.
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BPD. Fuck people who act like this.
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Hey, /adv/, I just got one question for tonight;
How do I talk to people?
Literally all throughout middle school and high school I was awkward as fuck, and could only talk to close friends I had known for years. Around anyone else I was quiet and awkward. Never to the point of being weird or obnoxious, but I just can't talk to people. Every time I try to talk to someone new, or hell, someone I've drifted apart from, the conversation lasts at max like 5 minutes. Since I'm off to college now I want that to change, and I think it can. I just need some advice.
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>>17552114
Bumping this. I'm in the same boat as you OP, hopefully some real advice will show up instead of just b urself ;)
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volunteer somewhere. You will be needed and make friends fort the price of your time and effort.
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>>17552114
Stop trying to talk about yourself. Ask questions about them, and if you have to talk about yourself make it quick, snappy, and then ask something about them before they can continue asking about you.
Chances are you're as boring as dried shit, so never ever linger on yourself during a conversation. If its any consolidation they are most likely just as boring as you, but they don't notice because they don't care; you'll care, but they don't. They'll be happy talking for hours about themselves, but they'll hate it if you talk for a minute about yourself... People just suck like that...
>pro tip!
>If you struggling to keep a conversation going during a date, change the setting...
>you'd be surprised how easy it is to start a conversation in a new setting...
>"Hey look at that thing! It's weird, isn't it? Have you ever seen anything like that before?"
How do I post like an Australian?
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Eat more vegemite.
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>>17552084
If you're Irish then you should at least have the drinking down.
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Drink and laugh at people while trying to help but only slightly
Lately I have been thinking
>nothing feels real
>not much feels pleasurable
>these girls aren't so great
>I am all alone in my life
>I am probably mentally ill
I might have the strength to go on, but I cannot see a point.
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You can google some good free therapy peeps if you take the time to look, most places will have at least a few peeps that do free screenings and mental health services.
Once you're square with that, why not volunteer? Might help some folks, and you'll not be alone. You might make friends or at least figure more stuff out.
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>>17552037
That's the plan. I feel too weak and scared to even do that, but I will try.
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>>17552041
I appreciate the effort, bud. Thank you.
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I'm shy as hell and have no idea how to talk to girls. There's a cute girl in a few classes I'm taking that looks a bit like pic related that I wanted to try to ask out. Problem is that she's really shy too. How to I approach her without looking weird or creepy?
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brother. my advice, is don't take advice because this situation is unique. in life you need to experience some things without any lenses. I suggest just walk up and introduce yourself and wing it
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>>17552012
Dude. Don't be such a beta. If you're both shy then she probably couldn't give a single shit less that you walk up to her and say something. Grow a pair you faggot
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if you can't say you like her up front, throw her a note or something! (or get her a little gift like a riverstone or a fossil or whatever nerdery you fancy with a note attached.) You don't have to ask if you're not comfortable! just be yourself, dude! The tiny gecko believes in you.
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What is the point of life? Why do I live? Why do I have to study so hard?
I know it sounds a little teenagery, but i have been having this feeling lately. Most people usually reply "There is no meaning of life, so you can do whatever you want". And for most of my life that answer was enough for me.
But now it is not, I simply cannot go by my daily life without thinking that all of it is meaningless and that I shouldn't even try something because most of it is pointless, I don't know.
That kind of thinking has, lately, driven me to go looking for momentary pleasures, alcohol, partying, sex, still haven't gone to drugs, but I'm willing to.
I'm 20 years old right now. At one point in my life, one year ago, I went to a trip to europe in which I had a lot of fun, but I didn't do what most people do, have sex, meet friends, etc. I barely did teenage stuff in there and, because I have met with people who have done that stuff in Europe and other foreing lands, I feel kinda bad, it was such a wasted opportunity (Still was a good trip). I was definetely someone else back then. That is just a thought that has been bothering me lately, but I'm not sure if it relates to thread.
I feel zero will to doing anything. I'm not gonna go on writing, because it can become a walltext. I know someone here has felt that way in one point of his life. Is there a way to get over that feeling?
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Hold your breath for as long as you can, and when you feel like you're dying and about to pass out and you take that raggedy, gasping breath - that's the point.
Otherwise I have no idea, and I'm 30 now.
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I don't know either but i guess most people just bullshit their way through life
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Life IS meaningless. And if it's meaningless, then you have to give it meaning.
That's the thought process I force myself to go through lately. Idk if it helps.
Anonymous
I took some money from a wallet I found at my school today 2016-09-10 02:31:44 Post No.17551883
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I took some money from a wallet I found at my school today 2016-09-10 02:31:44 Post No.17551883
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I took some money from a wallet I found at my school today
Anonymous
2016-09-10 02:31:44
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I need advice
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>>17551883
But a pizza
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I already did that. The problem is I think I've been caught
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>>17551883
>I think I've been caught
Well that sucks OP. Normally I would say just keep ONLY the money and return the wallet...however if you think you were caught you need to replace any money you may have spent and return the wallet in it's entirety. I'm not sure what your school's policies are on theft, but better safe than sorry. You don't want that on your record.