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I accidentally saw a chat on my girlfriend's FB the other night while I was closing the computer after a movie. In it, she'd asked a friend if she could check up on her ex from a few years ago, and asked if there were any updated photos of him.
She's always been faithful, her ex's work requires a lot of travel and he was very abusive so I'm not concerned about infidelity in any way. That being said, it broke off very quickly and without explanation, and he was a big part of her life and she loved him very much, and the lack of closure was jarring for her.
I addressed it this morning, and while the conversation began really well with her just explaining that she was curious about his well being (which I believe) and me saying that, while I am more than happy for her to check in to make sure he's alive and well, I'm not comfortable with her soliciting photos.
It went south quickly though, and I was made to leave her house. While she's said that she believes I'm not like past partners she's had, she said that she's recognising a pattern of abuse whereby I will eventually want more control over her social media, the company she keeps, the people she speaks with, etc. Because of this, she's blocked me out for now, and I am not sure where we stand.
I'm at a loss for what to do now. I love her dearly, and don't want to leave her. I think we will push through this, but I don't want to be in a place where bringing up unpleasant conversations and talking about her doing things I'm truly uncomfortable with as her partner. I never intended to breach her privacy in this way by looking at a personal, in-camera conversation between her and one of her friends, but I feel as if I did no wrong by bringing this up and expressing how I felt about it.
What do you think, and where do you think I should go from here? If it matters, we're both 24, I'm looking for professional work and she's going to be doing a masters, but we're both currently casual retail slaves. Pic unrelated.
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>>17552890
Also worth mentioning is that we come from different class backgrounds (middle myself, upper working herself), and she's had two major relationships before me in her life, both with very physically and mentally/emotionally abusive men who left her in a bad way. This is my first major relationship.
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I see the concern on both sides but I think it was a little much to make you leave her place and assume you're following an abusive/controlling pattern. On the other hand, I think it's pretty normal to want to check up on an ex even though there aren't any feelings for them. If this were my situation I would send her a text explaining that it truly wasn't an act of control but that you were just a little uncomfortable about the whole thing but that you do trust her and am willing to move past it. After that, just give her some time to reflect and get back to you.
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>>17552890
>It went south quickly though, and I was made to leave her house. While she's said that she believes I'm not like past partners she's had, she said that she's recognising a pattern of abuse whereby I will eventually want more control over her social media, the company she keeps, the people she speaks with, etc.
- well she is overcompensating for something that she lacks
- her integrity is easily punctured because she actually identifies with the victim role and gets off on it
- even with you telling her honestly that you accidentally went over her message, she shouldn't be offended THAT much...
- she feels exposed because she hid that from you to begin with.
- she knows she was in the wrong and lashes out parallel in order to make up for it
- this is self-empowering and she is in full control of the situation within her reality, because of it.
- she doesn't want the truth.
>Because of this, she's blocked me out for now, and I am not sure where we stand.
- she is waiting for your attention.
professional work and she's going to be doing a masters, but we're both currently casual retail slaves. Pic unrelated.
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give your best advice about feeling inferior to others
Im dealing with this problem where in my mind Im superior to everyone because of my high grades and high intelligence but when it comes to socializing and real life i realise that i act like they are far more superior than me
and i just cant stop doing it i go to a meeting talk to people and then when i come home and think about what i have said its is pretty clear to see that i was feeling inferior to them
and when i try to think about a reason for this ,my insecurities about my looks and never being in a relationship is all i can think of
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>>17552873
sometimes it helps me to remember that a lot of them feel that way too, it just might not be obvious on the surface.
for some reason I find that smiling more and making more eye contact helps too. I don't know if it's a "fake it til you make it" thing, or if it's just that by doing that, I feel like I'm claiming my right to be looked in the eye and spoken to like an equal. might sound silly to some people but it works for me.
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>>17552873
Everyone feels inferior to another in some way, some more than others.
You really have to learn to deal with it.
I was never great at socialising, I still hate it. But I've gotten better at it. Comparing myself to me years ago, I was a complete social retard and blew my one chance of having a girlfriend because I was oblivious.
Getting high grades isn't the 'be all end all' in life.
Don't seem to think you have high intelligence because you get high grades, it's not always the case. You should try being more humble and relating to others, it will make you feel good.
I don't know your specific circumstance so I could only give vague general answers.
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>>17552889
that is not silly because i have heard a lot of people telling me to smile and make more eye contact so people will respect you more and feel that you are more sincere
>>17552892
well true i have realised that i cant relate to other people because im pretentious all the time but i cant help it coz im empty on the inside and i have nothing else to feel good about
Trying to choose a therapist to help me with my suicidal thoughts and loneliness
What should I be looking for? I'm leaning towards pretty older women so I can feel comfortable with them and open up as if they're a surrogate auntie or something. But is that unhealthy? Note I have a history of sexual relationships with older women. Am I secretly hiring a new girlfriend, unbeknownst to myself, and will regret it?
How do I choose a therapist
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Choose someone with a good track record and at least a decade of experience with problems like yours.
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>>17552874
Decade of experience? Seems a bit strict
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Where is OP pic from?
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How to be respected, loved, and if it's necessary, feared? How to forge a great personality?
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Sorry, but you have to be born with these qualities.
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>>17552858
Change your mindset
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learn what makes people respect, love and fear others. Know and understand what your peers think, what they like and how they see you.
Needless to say that's quite a difficult task. There are plenty of books written on this subject. Start with "How to make friends and influence people" by Dale Carnagie, it's pretty much social interaction 101.
Tfw I'm the punching bag of my group of friends
>"oh anon we just mess with you because we like you"
I don't feel very well liked. I'm not good at dishing back insults and what not to. Mainly I just say "yeah" or somethings to that affect.
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Punch their face, then fuck them in the ass to assert dominance.
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If its really the only people you can go out with you will have to either speak with them to ask them to change that behaviour towards you or continue bearing it. If there is another people then just try to go out with other ones. If you dont find other ones you can subscribe to extraschool activities that interest you where you will find people just like you. farm it pal!
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>>17552862
Well these are coworkers that I'll see everyday for the next 6 years or so.
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I want to move to the US permanently.
I live in france, how easy can it be ?
I wanna move legally, i know after living in the US 5 years you can apply for citizenship but i guess you need a reason to stay the 5 previous years.
Can some burger bro help me ?
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bumping because I'm also interested in this.
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>>17552823
Essentially it can't be done. Or at least it's very difficult.
Just about every country has similar restrictions - the easiest way to visit is a tourist visa, which strictly limits your length of stay and forbids work. Student visa gives you a little more time but still no work, and you have to have been accepted by a legitimate school/uni in advance. Work visa is even harder - you have to have a solid job offer from a US firm, who also has to prove you're not stealing a job from a citizen.
You can apply as an immigrant, where you will run into quotas, lotteries, and the need to prove you won't immediately go on the dole.
Look at the website of the American Embassy in your country for details.
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>>17552955
It's also worth noting that you can live here permanently without a work visa if you can prove to the government you have the means to support yourself because you're independently wealthy.
How do I enter into a sexual relationship with white women who are dating/married to white boys?
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by not being an ugly nigger lol, coal burners are generally white trash
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white guy here, I don't date/fuck coal burners as i am no cuck.
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>>17552790
>>17553194
>they believed her when she said she had never fucked a black guy
How much does it cost to get yourself checked for autism/aspergers at a specialized neurology hospital?
Will the doctor shut up about it so I can keep my job intact or he'll be an asshole and put my disability in my government's database?
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Depends where you're from.
>disability database
as if the cunts in mental healthcare have any idea how to organize anything
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I've got different disturbs that give me some problems to work normally but living in Europe having a check up was free, only had to pay a ticket that would have been free too if I didn't have any money at all
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>>17552773
>How much does it cost
It's healthcare, fuck if anyone can guess. Even the doctor won't be able to tell you, you'll find out when you get the bill.
If you're insured and your insurance covers it, it won't be too expensive. If not, you'll be paying out the ass. That's pretty much it.
And no the doc won't tell anyone, they're not allowed to unless it's a case of child abuse or some shit.
Anonymous
ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-09-10 08:07:16 Post No.17552727
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-09-10 08:07:16 Post No.17552727
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Anonymous
2016-09-10 08:07:16
Post No. 17552727
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.
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If yall had a dick for a day, would you just do the helicopter the entire day?
I know if I had a vagina for a day, I would do everything in my power not to get aroused, because pissing lube into my underpants does not sound appealing.
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>>17552738
I would see how much I could stretch my ball-meat and make a turtle.
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>>17552744
Fuck yeah, see... women and men are not so different.
Also, ask a question for the guys as this may just be entertaining, you selfish bitch
Anonymous
First time feeling suicidal 2016-09-10 07:39:06 Post No.17552669
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First time feeling suicidal
Anonymous
2016-09-10 07:39:06
Post No. 17552669
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I fucked up my resit exams somehow and got the worst grade possible again. This means I'll be going to a bad university unless a study the whole year this year and apply the next year.
My esteem just feel like its hit rock bottom... My family invested so much hope into me, I haven't told them yet.
I just feel a deep urge to kill myself, there isn't even any dread. I just want to get out of this nightmare ASAP.
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You should.
If a failed test grade makes you want to off yourself, you want make it in the real world.
OR
MAN THE FUCK UP, STUDY NEXT YEAR AND CHANGE SHIT YOU PUSSY ASS FUCK
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>>17552669
Talk to somebody about it, a friend or trustful relative or something.
It's not a good situation, but it's also not the end of the world.
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>Wanting to kill yourself over highschool exams.
Geez dude, chill out.
My story: Fuck around in highschool and get a shitty ATAR of about 46. That's sort of equivalent to just below average for the entire of my state e.g. no university is going to want me.
I got into a TAFE course (I'm not sure what that equates to, it's more of a trade school I guess) in laboratory tech. After two years, I'm qualified to work in a lab and have actually been taught how it is rather than the by-the-book nature of university.
At any rate, I'm studying Biology due to my TAFE experience which is what I wanted to do back in high school.
The point is, no matter what, there will be some way to get into what you want. The absolute worst case scenario is you have to wait until you're mature age (21 or 25, I can't remember) and get in then. Doing badly in high school is so far away from the end of the world you wont believe it.
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I lurk here from time to time, sometimes think about posting, but most of the times I try to be nice.
Tonight, I've had a few so here it goes.
Quit being such whiny fucking bitches.
80% of threads on here are about how you're "friendzoned" or how you've never talked to the opposite sex before. Then from time to time we get the whole "I am too insecure with my SO" and "My SO is way too jealous" bullshit that goes down.
Let me fill you in on some cold hard fucking truth juice, motherfuckers.
Friend Zone does not exist. It's something you sad faggots made up. What she is trying to say is that she likes your personality but has no attraction to you what so ever. Reality is that she can't fuck your personality. So either get ripped, or get fucking played with forever.
To all the jealous fucks, stop it. It is that easy. When I first started dating, I was the same way. I would cheat, they would cheat, we would yell at each other and want to go trough each others shit and guess what... none of those hoes are around. I am now happily married with no bullshit and no insecurities. The right person will make you feel at ease, if they don't, tell them to fuck off. Alternatively, if your SO is always up your ass and you're not doing anything wrong, tell them to fuck off as well... unless your lie goal is to end up on the maury show.
My credentials:
34
Own a succesfull business
Have probably gone trough more gf's than your mother has dicks
Am now settled down and married
Living the american life every fucking day
Ask me anything, I won't sugar coat shit. I will tell you what you NEED to hear. Don't argue with me, I'm right and you know it.
You have about an hour before I pass out so use this time wisely.
And go.
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>Living the american life every fucking day
>succesfull business
>married
>34
> posts this kind of shit on /adv/
lol
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>>17552623
You one salty motherfucker, aintcha?
What's wrong? Girl problems? Want to kill yourself? Nuts aint dropped yet.
Welcome to real man shit, son.
Enjoy the ride.
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> Friend Zone does not exist. It's something you sad faggots made up. What she is trying to say is that she likes your personality but has no attraction to you what so ever. Reality is that she can't fuck your personality. So either get ripped, or get fucking played with forever.
Your definition of it is literally proving the concept of it is right...
I agree the friendzone is bullshit, but you can't say it "doesn't exist", it clearly does, but it exists cause they don't want to fuck you for some reason but like you a lot.
And cause you asked for an AMA, here's my thing that I have to ask, it's slightly different but related to me right now.
Let's say you had a major crush on this girl in May, and break is Mid-May to beginning of September. You tell said girl you have a crush on her in May, and she rejects you because you find out that her boyfriend cheated on her not even two months prior and she wasn't "feeling quite right cause of that" after your date. You say okay, and then you go no contact for the rest of the break, Mid-May to September.
September rolls around, classes are beginning again, and she texts you three times where she'd never text you first before. She just says hey, and you don't respond much. Next day, you're in a class with a friend and he tells you he ran into the girl, and she was asking about you and how you've been etc. The day after that, you go to your class and the girl is there. She hugs you, says she missed you, and all that stuff, and sits like slightly in front of you. As the lecture is going on, she looks back a couple times at you, smiles, giggles, and then turns back around to listen. After the lecture is over and everyone is working on something else, you catch her looking at you from time to time.
But neither of you talk other than the initial hug and the "Hey are you doing good? Oh great!"
What do YOU think it is?
I personally see it just as the girl trying to be friendly with you, but nothing more than that.
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Sup /adv/
What does it mean if a girl asks you if you're jealous?
Story:
>A couple of my med-fag female friends went away for 4 weeks to a rural hospital to do their rotation there.
>They were staying with a few other guys and girls who also go to the same hospital as me.
>When they came back to visit me over the weekend, they started talking about one of the dudes (I'll call him Jacob) from our hospital who went over to the rural hospital as well.
>They would say things like 'Oh, Jacob says the funniest things, he's so witty, he's so cute, blah blah blah'.
>Then one of them turns to me, her eyes light up and is all like 'Anon! Are you jealous?!?' XD. The expression on my face had not changed markedly before this, nor was I questioning them in great detail about him.
>I'm just like sitting there thinking 'wtf? We're friends and she's asking me if I'm jealous'.
>She later explained that she meant that I was jealous that he is now their friend as well. But even in that context, asking me if I'm jealous that they have a new male friend makes no sense... right? Considering she has other male friends too.
>So about a week later she comes back again
>I decide to tease her and say 'So how is your new bf Jacob going?'.
>She immediately gets excited and blurts out 'ANON!! Are you threatened?!?'
>Similar thing again happened on facebook. I made a comment like that and she accuses me of being jealous. And her other two friends start laughing and going 'N'AWWWW'
Keep in mind that I have a gf that she knows about too.
So what do you think. The fuck does she think about me??
Is she just saying that cause she likes me? She is quite an extroverted girl, and never been in a relationship 100% confirmed. So i'm not sure.
tl;dr female friend goes away for a few weeks, comes back talking about how some other dude is awesome. Then gets excited when she calls me jealous on multiple occasions. She knows I already have a gf
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>>17552593
heelpp
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She likes you.
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No.
Shes fucking with you.
They all are.
You have a girl, why are you reading into this?
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My grandma started vaping. She got this shitty cigar vape off the internet and she's always breathing it on me. Should I make her stop? It's miles better than her smoking at least.
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>>17552580
>It's miles better than her smoking at least
This is what vapefags actually believe
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Beat that bitch with a stick.
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Vapping makes you gay.
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My employee got cucked by his bitch wife and she ruined his life. He tried online dating for a while (against my advice) and that never amounted to anything more than wasting money on thundercunts and single moms. Me and some other employees tried to drag him to a stripclub and he about died of embarrassment.
I've tried helping him score young pussy but he's brainwashed into thinking it's a bad thing, These little bitches like him but he never reciprocates their feelings and lust. The other day after having lunch with a client this cute little girl no older than 20 was flirting with him. He was visibly aroused and happy for the attention, but just kept backing off whenever she pushed. I'm a blunt motherfucker so I straight up told him there's no point in chasing dried up old hags with a bunch of baggage when he can have a fresh, beautiful, more innocent and friendly girl. He went "m-muh deep conversation! muh maturity level!" so I asked him when was the last time he had a "conversation" with a bitch his wife's age or any bitch for that matter that wasn't just him speaking while she's bored or her rambling about dumb basic shit/gossip. Just stuttering was his response. So this cutie pie wants to get to know my buddy better and I gave her his number while she gave him hers. The way they looked at each other when they parted ways was kinda sappy but whatever, you can tell there's mutual desire.
So we're leaving the office at night and he's wrestling with whether or not to contact her.
How do I de-program him? Should I get her to text first?
Pic unrelated
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>>17552575
This pic is giving me great energy. I sense that you are noble, daring, and wise.
Do away with the negativity in your life and you'll be very successful.
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Gotta pretty much force him mate.
Sounds Iike he wants to go for it but he's too scared/unsure, just needs that push.
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>>17552575
I am trying to figure out how your employee's girl problems are your business. is it affecting his job performance or something? did he ask for your help? or are you just voluntarily taking him on as a project?
maybe I have a stick up my ass, but I don't think I would feel comfortable going to a strip club with my boss. that would feel inappropriate to me.
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I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 23, we've been together for over 3 years and I've noticed this year she has been changing a lot and become very entitled and acting spoiled in a way, she's become obsessed with the idea of becoming rich through means of social media and her looks but through no hard work of her own, she's acting like she practically just wants a hand out and be able to afford all the things she wants in life. She's self sabotaging and has been blowing little things out of proportion and trying to end relationships with her friends/family/workplace etc not all at the same time but each has taken a hit when she gets in a mood. She will be happy for a while then just crash and act like she has the worlds worst life and everything is crumbling around her when in fact her problems are borderline laughable in the grand scheme of things. I have been there for advice and stopping her from making stupid decisions and ending relationships over petty shit I've been getting less and less sympathetic and starting to respond bluntly trying to explain how she doesn't have it that bad at all.
She never used to be like this so I'm unsure if this is a phase or what, when she's happy she's great but when her moods come around it's been getting tedious and frustrating to deal with. Things that have changed this year is that she smokes weed everyday now, feels a lot better about herself due to reaching her goal weight and has become more social and outgoing because of this, all things that I would see as a positive except for the substance abuse.
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>>17552550
Depends on how much you give a shit about her, really...
Bitches be crazy.
If you are tough enough to stick it out, then suck it up butter cup. But don't let her bring you down. If things get too stupid, bail.
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>>17552550
Sounds lie borderline or bipolar. If y ant talk to her, and she can't admit she has some kind of issue that she is a lost cause.
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>smokes the herbal jew
Found her problem