Anonymous
Ex in contact again, what to do 2016-09-12 08:01:10 Post No.17559762
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Ex in contact again, what to do 2016-09-12 08:01:10 Post No.17559762
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Ex in contact again, what to do
Anonymous
2016-09-12 08:01:10
Post No. 17559762
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Hi, I'm 30yo female and happily married.
This week, a guy that I used to chat with has gotten in contact with me again, telling me he still hasn't gotten over me and still thinks about me constantly even though he's in a committed long term relationship. It's been 8 years and every 6 months or so he finds a new platform to contact me on, as I keep blocking him out of frustration.
He's saying the only way he can get over me is that we actually meet in person so he can get over me.
I feel like it's a dick move (towards my husband) to meet with a guy who I know has a thing for me, but I also want this guy to move on.
What do I do? I'm at my wits end and I just want the guy to move on.
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Meet in person for the murder-suicide.
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>>17559762
YOU need to move on, if the fucker can't act like an adult or a well balanced logical person (he's in a relationship ffs) it's not your problem. You can't control other people's actions, feelings and stupidity.
And yes it's a dick move more so if you don't tell your husband.
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>>17559762
Don't go.
If you're happily married there's no reason to cave into this.
You should really examine why you would even consider doing this. Look inside and try to find out what it is about this guy that causes you to allow this obsessive behavior .
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How should a relationship feel?
Do insecurities stop you from enjoying a relationship?
Is it normal to feel concerned that my gf doesn't really like me and is staying with me due to peer pressure?
I can't help but feed paranoid and angry at times, and sometimes sad and depressed.
My only experience with relationships are movies/media and other people I saw within my social circle. I just don't feel the romance and butyer flies and shit
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Diagnosis : Depression
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Movies and media are not good portrayals of what relationships look like - only the most entertaining parts. They miss all the boring parts that make up relationships.
I wouldn't be too concerned if your relationships don't look like the ones on tv.
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>>17559755
I'm in a similar situation, OP. I've never been in a relationship and only recently started talking to a girl. She sounds really into me, but I feel like I can't believe any of it. Do you feel that way too?
I feel like my body is a cage. I feel deeply disconnected from it and resent it greatly. It diminishes my quality of live. How do i bond with my body and feel like i own it?
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Are you named Kianah by any chance
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>>17559729
I'm not. Why? Does kianah say the same shit?
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Are you transsexual? Go to a psychologist and talk to them so you can begin the process to working towards transitioning.
If you're not (and even if you are), look at yourself in the mirror and find things to compliment about it, sincere things, even if they're really small. Don't ever insult yourself or talk down about yourself and if you catch yourself doing so, take conscious steps to correct it. Explain to yourself why what you just said wasn't true, and what the reality is. Take pride in how you look and take care of your body, shower, brush your hair, dress nicely. Do it for yourself, because you deserve it and it makes you feel good. Treat yourself. Instead of a shower run a bath, go out to get a massage sometimes. Enjoy a walk. If this doesn't help, or if it doesn't help enough, you should still see a psychologist even if you're not looking to transition. Sometimes learning to love yourself is hard.
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so im 19 and i still live with my family, i am covered by health insurance and i dont really regularly see a doctor.
I am 100% sure i have an STD, i think its syphilis but i need to get tested and treated
I dont want my mother or father finding out i have an STD for obvious reasons.
My mother and father are SUPER picky and involved in my life a lot so its hard to visit a doctor without them dragging themselves along with me.
I was thinking i could visit the clinic at my school, but they only have a nurse at my community college so i cant get treated because she cant give out medicine
I also considered a free clinic but all the websites say i have to have obama care in order to go to them and fuck that i dont want that shit.
How should i tackle this? helpful advice appreciated.
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>>17559720
You can live for years with an STD with no problems. So wait for an opportunity to sneak to the doctor when they are caught up in something else.
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>My mother and father are SUPER picky and involved in my life a lot so its hard to visit a doctor without them dragging themselves along with me.
Dont you have doctor-patient confidentiality wherever you are?
The doctor cant say shit to your parents if you dont want them to and if they do tell them I'm pretty sure you can sue for malpractice.
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Are you maIe or femaIe?
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I'm looking for advice (shocker) on what 4chan thinks I should do. I'm pretty sure my family hates me and nobody else I know likes me except for the people who get free weed. I'm not making a lot of money and I don't have prospects for making a lot of money. I've tried programming, medical field, factory work, and even being security. I can't seem to hold a job (presumably because I'm not that great of a person) and I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. Normal people don't think about killing themselves in a way that would least affect everyone in my life. If my parent died, I would definitely kill myself. I'm contemplating it right now. I've even told my brother I'm going to kill myself and he didn't immediately show concern and try to stop me from killing myself. Didn't call the police (have a scanner and would have heard local fire department get toned out for a possible suicide)
So now I'm here. I'm on a message board, asking people I don't know for advice. Or at least someone to read. Maybe hearing about how big of a failure I am will give someone else hope. Maybe since I'm an organ donor someone else can benefit from what's otherwise going to waste.
I want to kill myself. so bad. up until this point I've just wanted to die. didn't want to be what actually ended my life... just wanted there to be a freak accident so my family could sue for my death and be comfortable, because I'm not doing them any good right now. I'm dead weight to them. I just can't seem to do anything right and it's looking like that's never going to change.
Feel free to ask any question but don't expect an answer or possibly the exact answer you were looking for. I'm really in a bad spot right now and I honestly don't know if I want to try and dig myself out of this depressive state or just die.
I'm gonna post funny stuff once in a while to maybe give someone a laugh. or think I'm autistic... whatever.
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>>17559717
Alright, listen up.
I won't tell you not to kill yourself.
I'll tell you HOW to do it.
You got 2 options here.
The classic, hellion tank or hanging yourself or jumping from some roof. The usual stuff.
Or, you can take revenge on everyone that hurt you. You can have the whole country, the whole world even, talking about you while doing that.
All it takes is a true will to leave this life behind. Then, you can do anything. You're not gonna be here to see the aftermath anyway, so why not leave with the biggest bang possible?
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I don't want to hurt anyone. Can't do an exit bag.
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>>17559722
The murderer kills himself one person at a time, the suicide kills the whole world at once.
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Today University started and we have a new roommate. Rumours are that he is autistic. I dont want to be mean with the poor guy. Any advice on how I should talk to him?
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>rumours
Rumours don't mean shit, what's he actually like to interact with?
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>>17559691
Make sure the little autistic trash knows his place.
Make sure he knows he doesn't belong with the rest of you 'normal' people.
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>>17559694
He is very shy. He didnt talk to us until we went up to him.
He only talked about games and when we asked him if he knew anyone in this university he refused to answer.
I dont want to ask him if he is autistic that's fucked up
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Hey /adv/
I have a gf and she asks me "What are you thinking about?" all the time and I mean like every ten minutes, it can really get on a guy's nerves. I'm either thinking about work, her, or some shitty guy thing. What's the best way to tell I don't want to answer that question, or I don't have a good answer?
Thanks
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>>17559623
Do the same to her.
Every 10 minutes, ask her what she's thinking about.
Although we all already know the answer to that.
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>>17559634
It didn't work. I've also tried telling her the same thing over and over because she asks so much. It doesn't work, I want it to work. It doesn't.
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Say something that wiII piss her off, then when reacts say 'I'm not, but stopping asking so often'
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Need someone that will listen and talk with me fully. This will be long so if you aren't willing to read the whole thing just ignore this.
My problem is getting into a relationship with someone is literally the most important thing in my life right now. Everything else is second, including grades, friends, and hobbies. I want to care for someone, cuddle up, and have a mutual connection with a girl. Being a 21 y/o kissless/holdhandless virgin, I feel like I missed a huge aspect of my life when I was younger. All the emotions and experiences. Watching other couples or seeing anything love-related in movies, TV, or whatever seriously depresses me. It's a constant reminder of how lonely I am. It's holding me back from doing anything. I feel pathetic and worthless. It's the root cause of all my insecurities. Is my inability to attract anyone because I'm ugly? Awkward? Uninteresting? Stupid?
I simply don't understand how I can make friends easily, excel in classes, be called a great at x, yet still be lonely and single. That confusion makes me more nervous and anxious. It's like I'm cursed. It's just a continuous recursive downfall that leaves me more and more depressed the longer I go. At 19 I was pretty annoyed and lonely, and 20 I was frustrated and anxious, at 21 I've been beginning to have suicidal thoughts. I'm getting more mentally unstable as time goes on and that's going to make relationships even less likely. This is effecting everything else I do as well.
I know you shouldn't introduce someone else in your life if you can't be happy with yourself, but that's impossible at this point. The best I can do is fake it. I use my hobbies I had a couple years ago as my identity despite not really doing them much anymore. It's better than nothing. Right now I just try to do the bare minimum of my responsibilities and try not to let the dread of loneliness set in.
1/2
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2/2
People constantly say finding someone won't cure your depression or make you happier or whatever but I think it literally will. It pisses me off when people say that. It will fix everything because my lack of a love life is the very thing that's ruining everything. Even if I get into some nasty break up months later I can still say I have the experience. It's better to have had the experience and been hurt & healed by it than to have never experienced it at all, in my opinion.
In fact, so much shit people say about relationships piss me off.
"Relationships won't cure anything" Then why the fuck are you in one, you retard? What are you getting out of it?
"Sex is overrated" Only because you had it when you were younger and weren't watching yourself miss out on a basic human activity. Hell I'd be down for weird awkward sex.
"Relationships are just as much about the other person as they are about you" Obviously. I want to bring happiness and love into another person's life as much as I want it to be done onto me. I don't think I'm being selfish and only satisfying my own needs when it comes to seeking out a relationship.
"Don't worry you're still young, you have plenty of time!" I'm reaching my last year of college and after this I have to focus on my career and supporting myself so I'll have 0 time to go out and meet people. Plus, if I can't do it at a university, where there's girls of all types en mass, what makes you think I can do it with much smaller opportunities and the weight of a job on my back?
"If you're lonely you should focus on making friends, not girlfriends" I can make friends easy. Friends aren't fulfilling me. I have plenty. I don't need more. This doesn't help me. Stop saying this.
I figure if I graduate college still single I'm going to end myself because the loneliness is too much to bear.
The question is am I short-sighted for thinking this way? I an idiot for placing relationships at such a high importance?
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21 is young. You shouldn't get wrapped up in this idea that you missed out on so much.
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>>17559629
Average age one loses their virginity is 17. 14% of males aged 20-24 are virgins. Not sure what the statistics are on relationshiplessness but they must be even lower than that. At 20 you're in the small minority.
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If work underpays you by 4 hours, how long should you wait until you try to involve the union?
I told them about it early last week, just received my paycheck and wasn't paid for those 4 hours. Should I just ask again before I make a complaint about it?
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Ask your steward.
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Is pic related the OP?
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>union
It's already too late.
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I kind of lead a girl on
and she's really into me
and she's a Virgin
and I think wants me to take it.
What do?
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Do her anally first.
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>>17559591
Fuck her.
Then fuck her again.
Fuck her till you get bored of her, but don't emotionally or financially invest. NEVER emotionally or financially invest in females.
Oncer her cunt's not as tight anymore, dump the whore, she'll find someone else to fill the hole.
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>>17559607
This, senpai.
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What are some good tips or resources to improve my conversation skills? I feel like i bore people too much so i want to work on improv or something. You know keep it lively and interesting and not make the other person feel like he HAS to respond or keep it going.
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>>17559590
Improv is good. Read tj & Dave's book as well as Paul vaillancourt to get on the right track
How to win friends and influence people is awesome.
Juggler from the PUA community has a great video on conversation called like bootcamp which is almost 3 hours.
Then go out and try it on people, find who you're compatible with, and have fun taking risks in conversations!
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>>17559590
Why?
Do you need those skills for your job?
Because real people are trash anyway, they ain't got much interesting to say, stick to your hobbies.
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>>17559603
Thank you for the books. Really appreciate it.
>>17559612
I wish i could think like you. But i yearn for human contact and my hobby includes that.
I have been thinking to buy pic related to be able to wear a hat at work. Wearing other hats is prohibited but i have seen women wear hijabs just fine where i work so i feel if i get a religious hat the wont say shit or I could just bring up religious discrimination. I'm not really Muslim or religious but i can pass for one. btw is there other hats i could pass off as religious wear?
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>>17559573
A real fedora (ie. not a trilby), Orthodox Jews wear them.
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Or you could just learn to come to peace with the fact you're balding
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>>17559614
its not that, i kinda just wanna fuck with their fucking rules
>>17559609
I think i'd need the whole look to pull that off. I was just gonna the kufi and say Salam Malakam lol
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I don't know why but I feel really inauthentic when complimenting women. Like I'm trying to force it. Am I supposed to even straight up call a girl cute? I pulled that today and it felt weird and didn't go over well.
How do I show women I'm interested when I'm talking to them?
>kv
Nope
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Lean back
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>>17559566
You are not supposed to compliment them.
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>>17559566
saying they are "cute" or "Beautiful" doesn't come off as genuine and its shit they must hear from every guy so don't waste your time with that. you have more success if you compliment their shoes, hair, nails, outfit, glasses, etc. eyes work too. don't be vulgar.
Hi /adv/
A friend of mine (a gay guy) has developed a huge crush (possibly with real feelings) on a straight guy who's also my friend. Last night the straight guy confessed his feelings to me, which I don't reciprocate.
Should I tell my gay friend about this incident, even if it may hurt his feelings, so he doesn't hopelessly hope on him anymore? Is it likely he will end up hating me?
Thanks
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Just teII the gay dude that the other guy is straight.
TeII him its better off being Ieft aIone because he's obviousIy straight and it wiII make everything awkward if he asks him out.
Don't mention the straight guy asked you out.
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>>17559547
gayness is a mental illness and i'd recommend your friend to kill himself.
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>>17559547
Invite them both round, and make him watch you fuck.
Hey /b/! I'm an aspiring screenplay writer. I've written down a few ideas and I'd like some feedback. I have access to actors and I live in Utah so I have any setting I want.
I just need you to help to pick what to write. Or if you have any suggestions.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thirty-Six_Dramatic_Situations
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OK, list your ideas and we'll see what grabs us.
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Then post those ideas if you want feedback...