So. I live in an apartment complex and have a decorative pumpkin by my door. One of my neighbors moves it to the door across the hall (but it's not his door....it's the door of an unwitting 3rd party neighbor).
The guy has done it 3 times in the last 24 hours. I don't know where he lives but I think it's in my hall.
How can I stop this without being a killjoy asshole?
I don't want to put a note on the pumpkin that says stop moving.....that's such an annoying way to handle it. But at the same time I want to send the message that I know what he's doing and that it's not ok. Make grease the pumpkin? Or perhaps coat it in something smelly that would get on his hand?
*maybe grease the pumpkin
Maybe I could urinate on it, therefore claiming my property
shit inside of the pumpkin
>go to college
>omg so many hot girls
>tfw EVERY girl I want is in a relationship
what am i supposed to do anons? is college sex life a meme?
Every girl is not in a relationship, they just say that to get you away from them
>>17634261
I facebook stalk them to make sure anon. Unless every girl goes as far as to post pictures of them and their boyfriend and make it their profile pic JUST to keep guys away, I doubt that is the case. 12/12 have been in a relationship thus far. It is annoying the shit out of me.
>>17634247
Get used to it. Good women get scooped up and unless you bring something to the table their bf doesn't, keep meeting more women.
Make friends with the girls you like, they probably have single friends.
I've been out of a fucking job for months now. I've applied to hundreds of jobs with like 2 interviews to show for it. I'm subscribed to 10 different job sites. I've lied on my resume like crazy.
WHERE CAN I WORK?! I'll move boxes for goodness sake.
>>17634242
It's hard to say without seeing your resume.
>>17634242
>I've lied on my resume like crazy
Might be your problem there, Copernicus. You can either clearly be lying, or appear to be way overqualified. I'm not going to be able to ever get a job at a gas station or grocery store after 10 years of experience in my specialized field, because they know I'll quit for something better when it arises.
I bet your resume also sucks. Post a pic with the personal stuff edited out.
>>17634275
>I'm not going to be able to ever get a job at a gas station or grocery store after 10 years of experience in my specialized field
Which is why you wouldn't tell them about said experience, "Copernicus".
how do i stop being insecure and tense all the time
There is no easy answer.
For me it took getting married. Once I achieved that I just stopped caring what others thought of me because at least someone thought I was and am worth while.
You'll be alright dude, just smile and carry on.
Also, getting ypourself some neat hobbies and knowledge always helps. Kind of helps give you an edge up later on down the road if you know how to do things. Makes you look better than the Chad who relies purely on his looks or height.
Coming from me: In 8th grade I was known as shakey because a girl asked me to tie her shoe for her and I really like her, so I did. And I shook the whole time, because autism.
Now I'm twice married, once divorced, and feel 10ft tall and bulletproof.
Give it some time m80<3
>>17634264
Not OP but I have a question since you're married
Do you have any kids? If not why not? (since having kids is literally one's biological purpose in life and if you don't have kids then you've basically failed)
>>17634309
>life and if you don't have kids then you've basically failed)
Hi, my friend the 1920's is looking for you, he wants his values back.
I came back from having the time of my life about a month ago, but ever since, I've pretty much given up on work. I'm sitting there at my desk, letting project deadlines get ever closer, or outright ignoring them. I just can't find my motivation anymore and every day seems like an exasperated effort. Nothing seems fun or valuable.
Is there any way to shake this? Every day I just want to come back to my bed, or leave forever. The idea of quitting is creeping into my mind, but that would be reckless.
>>17634183
What do you do for a living? I'm an inventor!
>>17634236
Marketing.
>>17634183
At my last job, I wanted to kill myself every time I worked. Like clockwork, between hours 3 and 6 of an 8 hour shift, I would just think about death and how to die, etc. Eventually, I started meditating at work on my lunch break and whenever I had a spare moment. This made the difference I needed to get through without breaking down.
I quit eventually though, for what it's worth. Why did you begin working there?
Is it possible to have schizophrenia without hallucinations?
I'm not self diagnosing, but I have looked shit up online because I'm slipping and can't afford to see a professional. I've had depression my whole life. It's been getting much worse the last few years, so I've been doing research. I know I need to see a therapist, but I never will. For starters, I simply can't afford it because America is great like that. However, I don't know that I would go even if I could.
I showered 3 times last month, my apartment is disgusting (even after I spent 5 hours cleaning up like a month and a half ago, which is now back to where it was), I just stopped going to class in March and crashed my GPA and I'll have to start paying loans I can't afford, I haven't seen my family in over a month, I don't want to sleep at night because don't want to wake up for work, and I'm going from playing out conversations in my head to quietly speaking them, too.
I'm starting to have trouble speaking sometimes, like I'll just get caught up on words. I'll know exactly what I want to say, but the word isn't there. For example that just happened, I'm at work, and I asked one of my coworkers if he had seen a strap that we use to hoist stuff with the crane, except I couldn't say strap. The word just wasn't there. I eventually said sling instead.
I don't know anymore.
My friend is schizo-active. I don't know the exact differences, but I don't think he's had any hallucinations (outside of drug trips, anyway). He does, however, carry some symptoms like mood swings and an inability to sleep.
If you have any genuine doubt about your mental health, speak to a professional. They are the only ones who can diagnose you, and the only ones who can help.
you didn't really mention any symptoms that aren't a part of plain old depression, although sounds like you have a pretty severe version of it
>>17634130
I should have clarified that my depression was diagnosed when I was very young. I'm 27 now, and I haven't been back since I was 14. They thought I outgrew it, but the truth was that I just learned to hide it I guess.
Anyway, going to a professional won't do anything if I can't afford it to do anything about it.
>>17634163
It could be. It has been there long enough I don't know.
Story of my life in a nut shell.
Liked this cute girl alot when i was around 13. She liked me back too at first. Fought with others in front of her to show dominance. I was younger than others in my school so i always got my ass kicked. Paid this fat indian fuck to fight me and lose in front of her. He did but it looked obvious. Finally decide to confess after a year over facebook with BAD grammar. She rejected and called me retarded.
Second story, changed schools. Was popular with girls but because i was very immature, people bullied me and no gf the whole year. Started the next year. Acted more emo. Cute chinese bitch likes me. Decided not to show her im intrested in her. Make up a fake crush on this other hot girl. The hot girl ignores me the whole year and all the girls in my class ignored me thinking im a player.
Third story, reach year 11 in school. Decided to mature up. It was working abit at first. Not that many girls showed interest in me like last time. Probably because purbety made me look uglier. Meet this autistic chick that likes me. I DON'T like her so help her date with my other retard friend. They break up. She disappears.
I have soo many autistic stories like that. What am i doing wrong? When i was young this stuff was soo easy and now, i cant even talk to another guy.
>>17634082
Stop crafting images and stories designed to make people feel one way or another about you because you obviously suck at it.
>>17634082
Read books for developing social skills. Mimicry the events in your head, put yourself in one of the character's shoes, think how would you even act to the current events. That's how normal people do it trust me.
>tfw you're in high school which means you will never escape the autist cycle until you graduate
Dude if you wanna be the alpha just wait till you're 18 and start working a hospitality job at your local strip club or become a bartender... I guarantee you will develop into an alpha in less than a year if you pay attention and play your cards right, until then be a fucking loose cannon and stop worrying about high school popularity because once you graduate, shit will not matter...
So there's this cat that keeps on wondering into my house. I like to give him (or her) water and he's pretty friendly.. Likes to lick himself a lot for some reason and for me to pet him.
I think he belonged to one of the neighbors who moved away and he doesn't have a collar or anything.
Anyway, what kind of food do they eat? I'm afraid to give him something that will instantly kill him. What kind of human food do they eat (most basic stuff you could find at any house) plus what are some basic things I should know about interacting with cats? I never had any pet experience.
>>17634046
meat, any meat should fine. also watch out for diseases
>Likes to lick himself a lot for some reason
>implying you wouldn't if you could
>>17634061
Kek
Also what do you mean by meat? WIll he eat raw meat out of my freezer?
And what more will he eat except meat and fish?
He might be micro chipped, see if the pound can identify him. He doesn't sound feral. Cats love tuna but it doesn't have any nutritional value. But any kind of fish or chicken is fine for him to eat.
Cats lick themselves to groom themselves. That's why they cough up hairs too
I'm disappointed in myself.
I went to Kohls to get some shirts, and the lady asked me if I wanted to get a Kohls card because I'd get a discount. I figured it was a rewards program so I said sure. I find out afterwards that it was a charge card. Great. So, I can just let the thing run out and expire right? I've never been tricked like this before. I'm disappointed that I wasn't on guard. How badly does this affect my credit score?
That's not how credit works, lmao.
>>17634057
Thanks for elaborating you chucklefuck.
>>17634057
But it is. Explain to us how you think it works.
I'll make this simple, and add details if needed.
Me and my girlfriend are "on pause." Which is essentially us taking a break. She's said that it really is just a break and not a "slow breakup" several times because I asked, probably more than I needed to. But I'm still heart broken because the reason for it is that her love for me has faded over time, and she want's to take time for her, so that she can see how much she loves me. I was 100% certain she was the one, but now it feels like my whole world is crumbling into nothing. Good detail to add, the thing that triggered this is a fucc boi that had been flirting with her kissed her. She immediately pulled away but she felt confused about it. Either way, she promised me she wasn't going to talk to him anymore. I do have the means of contacting him, but she asked me not to.
How should I proceed?
>>17634013
Your girls cheating bro dump her.
She's probably gonna fuck him and when it doesn't work out come back to you.
>>17634013
Put this faggot in his place, and if your girlfriend dumps you, so be it.
How can I stop myself from being a cynical twat all the time? deep down at the core of my soul is like this eternally pessimistic and apathetic cunt. I can put on a good show but at the end of the day i don't believe in anything.
How do you stop seeing everything as bullshit?
>>17634009
Being cynical and pessimistic is just an excuse to be lazy. Optimism might not be realistic, but it's utilitarian.
>>17634009
Brain damage. That's how. I'm being serious. A cynic is a jaded optimist. Basically you need to forget what you know and try to accept everything that might happen instead of what is most likely to happen.
1.Start smoking weed all the time
2.watch a show about horses
3.accept that being positive bout stuff
Into an intimate relationship with this girl I know, and she's pretty cool about it. We're not girlfriend/boyfriend or anything, but it's a little more in-depth than just fuck buddies.
Last month she casually tried to bring up pegging during dinner, and I shot her down right there, but this week, she's been getting more and more insistent about it.
I've watched a few videos, I know what it is, but I'm too hesitant to cross that line. First of all, I know it's going to hurt, and second of all, it's kind of embarrassing, and I feel like it's possible she might let it slip one day while she's drunk or something.
It very slightly, just-barely turns me on, but apparently, it's always been a bit of a fantasy with her.
I've already decided to let her try it, just once sometime this month, just to get it out of her system, so I'm not here to ask for advice on whether or not I should go through with it.
What I'm here to ask is whether anyone's ever been pegged or pegged someone, and what it felt like.
Do I need to prepare or something? Why does it turn you on? Were you like me? Were you hesitant? Did you warm up to it eventually? Do I...Do I need lube?
I don't browse /adv/ a whole lot. I didn't even know this was a board. Someone just redirected me to here from /fit/, so sorry if I seem like a tourist or something.
>>17634004
Stuck a vibrator up my ass a couple of times.
It never felt good and if you put too much pressure on the prostate, you just let your load loose without any pleasure and it kills all pleasure in your dick for several hours after.
I wouldn't go through with it if I were you. It's nothing like the gays spread about it. It will hurt like hell at worst and just make you bust faster without any additional pleasure at best.
I know you "already decided" but don't do it. You'll regret it.
If you're not comfortable or into it, it will hurt.
This is why you shouldn't do it, because obviously the idea does not turn you on enough for you to enjoy it.
so, its really weird.
my wife is a dominatrix and loves this and as a result I had to try it as well.lol
so, start with something nice and easy like the smooth rounded end of the sharpie (not the cap you idiot) andlube it up. Be gentle, you kind of just sit it there and apply very light pressure and focus on keeping your sphincter relaxed. And as weird as it sound, your asshole will kind of just slowly swallow it, like, reverse shitting. Dont go too deep at first, just slowly let it happen and focus on the intense pleasure you are receiving.
Its nice, just VERY odd. Also, make sure you dont piss her off because she WILL tell her girlfriends and they will make sure to hold that over your head.
Yes, you need lube, yes take it slow, yes you ytwo should both consider watching instructional videos together online in order to get an idea of what you are doing, you do NOT want her fucking spearing you like they do in the pornography, you are not ready for that.
It feels very good, just very awkward at 1st. Just close your eyes and listen to her as much as she listens to how you feel.
and protip: when it comes out, you will literally feel like you are shitting a massive log, this is normal...a big thing is exiting your asshole. Dont worry, its not poop, it is just a dick attached to a girl you really like.
I apologized the 1st three times afterwards because I was certain I shat all over her crotch.
So basically a while back I broke up with my boyfriend of a year because some stuff he did was abusive, ie he raped me, hit me and emotionally abused me sometimes. but these were "one-offs". i'm friends with his friends and i tried to stop his friends from being friends with him because of what he did. 4 months on I realised today that I almost lost those friends because of the way I treated him/talked about him after we broke up. I want those friends back but I still think he deserved what he got from me. What do?
Bros before hoes
>>17633989
>he raped you
>friends took his side
If everything you're saying is true, then you're much better off without those "friends" in your life
>>17633993
Not calling you a hoe either, just saying bros before hoes
If they are female then thats weird
I'm really needy and always want people to pay attention to me. How do I just stop
>>17633985
Think before you speak
If it's not about you, don't make it about you
Sometimes it's okay to just be quiet
Kill yourself.
Then everybody will pay you attention, while you can't attention whore anymore. It's a win win.
>>17633985
Realize that, no matter how much attention you try to take up, you'll never be more than a brief thought in anyone else's mind.
Man, it happened again.
I met a cute girl who I thought I really connected with and it turns out, no surprise, she's got a boyfriend.
This shit keeps happening to me, /adv/. Is it because I'm getting older (I'm 23)?
I'm not naive enough to just wait around for them to break up, but now that I know she has a boyfriend, do I have to drop the flirtatious act? Or should I just keep behaving as I did before? I feel like it would be kind of a cruel thing to start being standoffish towards her now that I know.
Where can I meet real life single girls that don't suck?
>>17633922
oldfag here,
IRL approaches
>>17633929
>>17633929
oops, ignore the jump quote
It's probably because girls who have boyfriends are more relaxed around guys because they don't have to impress anyone