I am a stranger to others and to myself and I refuse to pretend that I am familiar or that I have history attached to my heels. I am glass clear empty glass.I see the world spinning behing and through me. I am a stranger and I am moving. I am moving on two legs soon to be on all fours. I am no longer animal vegetable or mineral. I am no longer made up of circuits or disks. I am no longer coded or deciphered. I am all emptiness and futility. I am an empty stranger, a carbon copy of my form. I can no longer find what I'm looking for outside of myself. It doesn't exist out there maybe it's only in here inside my head. But my head is glass and my eyes have stopped being cameras, the tape has run out and no gesture can touch me. I've been dropped into all this from another world and I can't speak your language any longer. See the signs I try to make with my hands and fingers. See the vague movements of my lips among the sheets. I'm a blank spot I'm a dark smudge in the air that dissipates without notice. I'm a broken wingow. I am a glass human. I am a glass human disappearing in rain. I am standing among all of you waving my invisible arms and hands. I am shouting my invisible words. I am getting so weary. I am growing tired. I am waving to you from here. I am crawling around looking for the aperture of complete and final emptiness. I am screaming but it comes out like pieces of clear ice. I am signalling that the volume of all this is too high. I am waving. I am waving my hands. I am disappearing. I am disappearing but not fast enough.
I feel your pain. So what are you going to do about it? Admit defeat or try fighting?
>>17669978
Fight? Fight for what?
>>17669780
Right. So will you fight, perish, or live like a hermit?
>>17670006
For anything. Music, sexual escapades, hiking, etc.
Yesterday I went to a party with my friends which was held inside the Uni. I didn't drink much (nothing at the party, only a bit at home with friends) but I was super drunk.. I'm ill atm so maybe that's why I got drunk so easily I don't know.. anyway so before we went to the party we all met up at my apartment, I have two roommates, both girls. There were a few friends of mine, one friend of my roommate S. and 2 other guy friends of my other roommate B. in the living room. One of the friends of my roommate B. was her cousin who came to visit her and party with us. So yeah we drunk a bit and had a pretty good time at the party. I remember most of it-
At 2am or so my roommate S. and I walked back home alone. I don't remember what I did when we got home, she told me I went to bed. The last things I remember is that when B. got home with her friend and cousin I said hello and they cooked pasta which I tried to eat with them but I couldn't because I was too drunk... and then... idk I fell asleep on her bed while they were still talking and woke up a few minutes later. I couldn't remember why I was lying there so I walked up the stairs back to my room to sleep. So then.. I don't know if it was 10 mins after I went to my room or an hour, my door opened and B's cousin came in. I woke up and he got in the bed and.. I was wearing a dress at the party but I put it off when I went to bed and put a shirt on. I kept the stockings on tho and didn't put on pants. He pulled down my stockings and my underwear and I'm not sure if he had a condom on immediately but he tried to get in me. I'm a virgin and he knew that, I told him when he tried to get inside me as well, I told him that he can't do that and that I'm a virgin.
I'm 21 btw and I wasn't ready for sex yet, I didn't want it. But as I said earlier, I was completely drunk.. I don't even remember the whole scene.. but he put his dick in me and I didn't do anything about it.. I think. He kept pushing it further and further and it hurt so I pushed his dick away and said that it can't happen, it hurts but he kept talking, saying that it's ok and just a bit further and whatever.. I couldn't think, I was too wasted.. I just did what he said, he pulled me up and turned me around, he put my legs up.. I didn't do anything about it. I even remember that I was on top of him at one point because he wanted me to ride him which I couldn't do well because I couldn't get his dick inside me, so he turned me around again and did whatever he did. I don't know if he put on a condom at the beginning but he did eventually, maybe because I wasn't wet enough. I think he even put on a condom twice.. one of the condoms he used is still lying next to my bed on the floor, couldn't throw it away yet. So when he was done he went to the bathroom which is right next to my room and said that the condom ripped and I have to go to the pharmacy.. I responded with yes ok and then fell asleep. I didn't sleep long, I think I woke up at 8 or 9am. Only then I realized what actually happened and started crying and panicking. I put on sweatpants, brushed my teeth and peed and then I noticed how it hurt, especially my clitoris, the sligthest touch hurts incredibly. Even my butthole hurt because he tried to get inside but he couldn't and I told him it hurt so he gave up. It doesn't hurt much now tho.
I immediately went to the pharmacy to get the moring-after-pill and as I asked for it I started crying and the woman advised me to go to the gynecologist which I did but he didn't examine me, he just told me to take the pill. I went back home took the pill and tried to sleep but couldn't. B. and the guys weren't up yet. I felt horrible and couldn't stay at home so I asked a friend (whom I met by accident on the way back home. He noticed that something wasn't right and I started crying again..) if I could spend some time at his apartment. Since he drove back home this weekend I was alone in his apartment. I called my best friend and told her everything and then I called B. so I could talk to her. She said she's going to send the guys away so I can come back home to talk. I went back home and talked with my roommates and B. didn't even fully know what happened. Her cousin just said "I took her virginity". I explained everything and afterwards I went back to my room to sleep but I couldn't. B. told me her cousin wants to talk to me and apologize etc. at first I didn't want to see him but I got angry so we talked. Before apologizing he tried to convince me that I wanted it as well and that you still know what you do even when you're drunk and that if I didn't let him he wouldn't have done it. So I got even angrier and told him that I was too drunk to know and understand what was happening and that I'm certain I told him about 5 times that I'm a virgin and it can't happen and that it hurts. Then he apologized. Then he said he was also too drunk and didn't think and that it only happened because of the alcohol and that he isn't a bad person and didn't want to hurt me etc.
I told him that I understand but I don't feel better with his apology and that I'm thinking about reporting him to the police because for him it was just sex and he will forget about it in a few months but this was my first time and I will always remember it and I didn't want this I mean, there's a reason why I'm a virgin with 21.
I can't even tell my parents about this. I feel so unbelieveably disgusting and used and stupid and I don't know what to do. I didn't even know his name.
I told my roommates that I think about reporting him and their first reaction was "Isn't that a bit exaggerated" and now I keep thinking that I'm overreacting and that it's my fault because I didn't do much to stop him and kept doing what he told me.. I never felt so shit in my entire life. I want to go to the police station tomorrow but I'm not sure yet.. I'm scared as well.. I need some advice and opinions..
and I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, English isn't my mother tongue.
How do I tell if someone actually enjoys my company?
bumping for interest
If they come to you to say hi and initiate hangouts then they truly enjoy your company.
ask yourself a simple question: Am I a frogposter?
if the answer is yes then they don't enjoy your company
Should I know anything before making a tinder? It seems like the only way I would ever meet somebody. Also if someone I know sees me on there will they think I am a loser for trying it?
>>17669715
Not unless you are married or in a relationship
>>17669723
Never been in either before, I'm just hoping this is the way I can finally meet someone.
>>17669715
it uses your facebook photos last time i checked. so make sure you have some good shit on there.
dont put too much time into your bio. keep it short and sweet.
keep expectations low
nobody cares if they see someone they know. it would be just as awkward for them. hell it might be a plus that they already know you.
source: have tindered off/on for 3 years between relationships with moderate success.
safe ways to get high without weed?
>>17669688
Walk up to the top of a building.
>>17669708
and then?
>>17669714
Enjoy the view? I don't know.
I've never gotten this far before, do I try to make conversation via text or go straight for setting up a date
Definitely stick to conversation for a little bit. Feel her out. Pretend like your text conversations are a remote practice run for an actual date. If things go well, ask her out. And don't ask how long you should wait, just feel it out. And when you do, make it something non-threatening like coffee.
Good luck anon.
>>17669681
Transition to phone calling asap
>>17670379
Nobody does that shit anymore anon.
Did I have a fucking panic attack?
So I had kind of a bad week, but it got better eventually and I felt pretty ok yesterday, but I get home from work at 11, get some food and chill for about an hour playing video games.
Then suddenly my vision goes a little blurry while I'm texting my friend, then I feel like I can't really breath and my chest starts hurting, I try to ignore it and keep video gaming.
It gets worse and I have to stop so I go lay down, but then I feel like I can't breath while laying down, then my chest still hurts and it's fucking pounding, it had to have been going at least 110 (I was to afraid to measure it for some reason)
I paced around trying to jusr calm it down for like 45 minutes, didn't fucking help, I almost woke my friend up to take me to the ER cause I was afraid I was going to pass out cause I started feeling faint an my hands were numb. Eventually, it kind of toned down and I was able to lay down and finally relax.
It kind of happened the night before too but not on that level.
Can you have a panic attack our of fucking nowhere? My friend thinks it was a culmination of all my stress I had the last week.
>>17669636
that's a panic attack, yeah. I had one once after a dentist ripped a tooth out of me, but I was like a mile down the road when it started and I had to pull over.
I had them for a few months and couple of years back, mainly breathing issues and numbness in the hands and feet. My doctor suggested exercises, so I went cycling every other day and I got better.
>>17669636
Evolution at its finest.
How do I get a cute asian gf? How do |I even approach them at all? How do I deal with my inexperience?
Any tips will be helpful.
t. /r9k/
>>17669623
The fact that you're approaching it as "how to get an ASIAN gf" means you've already failed
>>17669623
What about trying to just get a gf for starters? Also you could come to Asia and swim in an ocean of qts
>>17669675
>implying I haven't
Besides, is it wrong to have a preference of type?
I'm a 20 year old deaf guy living in a third world country, life has been tough.Thinking about the future terrifies me and my chances of not getting a job are almost certain. I want to make a living off the internet but i don't know how. I've been thinking of making a website but i don't know what it should be about, what do first worlders search for? what would be a good niche to work on? give me ideas /adv/, save a life.
>>17669555
Why don't you offer website making services to westerners?
>>17669576
I'm not very familiar with programming, i was thinking of owning my own site and monetize it with ads. If could make 20$ daily i'll be the happiest motherfucker to walk this earth
>>17669555
>what do first worlders search for?
Interracial frog porn.
How fucked am i?
i was convinced to drop out to of high school to get my GED at 16 because it would look good on a resume.
Nobody wants to hire me because i cant get experience because i have a GED, and ive been turned down for volunteer work everywhere i have applied to.
Too poor for college and Don't want to die paying debt.
Am i retarded? did i miss something?
An Hero or no?
>>17669544
Definitely retarded...good luck, don't an hero thats for pussies
>>17669544
You fucked up pretty hard by dropping out of high school, but with a GED you should still be hirable at most minimum wage jobs. If you dont have a job right now apply to one of those and you could work your way into a higher position, for example in a supermarket you could start as a cashier, become a CSR then a night time manager after about 2 years working at that store. Its also possible to save up for a while and try for an Associates at a community college, its not much but it should give you more options. Good luck, pal.
>>17669544
I'm curious, what kind of job were you after that made you think a high school dropout would look good?
I'm talking to a girl on messenger and she said something about maybe hanging out with this guy this weekend. She's pretty chatty and I think I'm doing alright, and can easily lean her towards me since she's single.
The question is though, how do I do it?
>>17669525
How do I foote a relationship with a girl. Are you seriously lacking enough empathy to forget that women are humans too and aren't this force of nature tamed in an appropriate way. I mean there's no good end to this in 5 years if you love her youll have guilt, in 2 weeks if you fucked her you probably won't proceed far from that and will hurt her. Gg you are alpha.
>>17669525
Ask if she wants to hang out before she meets the guy , or slightly after , and prove to her you're a better man (assuming she is single ofc)
>>17669976
This.
How the fuck do I leave my shit ass rural town for a big city? Holy fuck this place fucking sucks so bad I'd rather live in the ghetto
>redneck ass dogs barking 24/7
>everyone knows and hates each other
>catch the neighbors walking through my yard all the time for no fucking reason
>no one here has any consideration for anyone but other rednecks
>literally everyone here is a redneck or a fat chick
>the people at the store know my entire life
>everyone knows who your parents are and your whole life story
>people here go out of their way to spy on you even though they know everything about you
>everyone here tries to steal your shit and step on you
>everything is 20-40 miles away with a bus that comes once a day
>only jobs are tree cutting and prison guard
>I can walk around for hours and not see a single person
>there's literally not one person my age
>rednecks mowing lawns 24/7
>nothing to do but smoke cigarettes and eat
>flies invade your house by the hundreds and just land on your face while you try to sleep
I want out!!!! I just wanna pack my shit up and never look back
>>17669455
Go for it, dude. I left my small town 15 years ago for the big city and did well for myself. That said, a lot of what you're bitching about is people being people. You'll find more of them in a less rural area so be prepared for more bullshit. In fact, even if not fulfilling I often find myself missing the simplicity of rural life.
>>17669466
How though everyone just tells me the city is expensive as fuck and you can't even live there without being rich
>>17669487
It definitely can be expensive.
spend some time on craigslist or something trying to find a room, get an idea of the cost of living.
find a job
What store can I buy some thick adult diapers? Don't tell me the internet, I want to find it in a store.
Walmart. Anon if this is for sexual pleasure you should stop, it'll only get worse from here
>>17669414
Why does it get worse?
>>17669405
http://boards.4chan.org/d/thread/7070176/
Look upon it and despair
I have come to a realization as of late - I hate my life. Basically, I recently developed a big crush on a stranger and after thinking about it in attempt to get over it, I discovered it's not her so much that I want, but the possibilities that she symbolizes.
When I was 18 I joined the military because that's what I was supposed to do. I went to war. I came back, went to college and played it safe with a business degree instead of getting into comic book art like I should have. I got a job, a girlfriend and had kids. I worked my way up the corporate ladder and now earn a great income. I bought a house and made a good living. I should be grateful, but if I am being honest I am miserable.
There is not much about my life I like. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but they'll grow up and leave me. I love my partner as the mother of my kids, but I am not in love with her. I feel like I did all the things I was supposed to including staying with her when she got pregnant and am now miserable. This is all my fault.
I'll say it again, where I am at is obviously my fault which I accept so no need to tell me how much of an idiot, piece of shit I am, etc, etc. The question is how do I fix it? Can I or am I fucked? If I can't, how do I keep from killing myself out of desperation or more likely, self-destructing and destroying those around me with my misery and/or increasingly poor decisions? How do I not be so selfish and instead disregard everything that I am feeling for the sake of those who count on me? I want to be a good person, but I am feeling selfish and need a change. I've tried to "man up", but run into this same feeling every few months. What do?
>>17669383
Don't be too down on yourself man! Youre in a better off position than so many people! And theres so much you can still do, so many more possibilities!!
>>17669447
Yeah I get that I am better off than most. Unfortunately, that just creates a sense of guilt. What right do I have to be unhappy? First world problems no doubt.
>>17669458
Don't feel guilty man! It's human nature! You're always gonna want more! Gratitude is all about garnering some perspective to enrich your life even further. So for instance when you realize people have it worse it makes you 1.) appreciate what you have and 2.) it paves the way for new things and growing and learning because it gets your mind out of the shit gutter
It's never too late for anything man! You say you like comics? Draw them in your free time, keep plugging away at them and then post them online, and you said you had a business degree? Even better put it use and monetize your comics, hell if comic art is your passion it won't even feel like work, I don't think anyone's life is defined by their degrees and careers, and it's never too late to do what you really want to, I understand your situation is harder because you have kids but I'm sure you can find some time to work on comics instead of like TV for example, everything will be okay man :) just don't give up and remember it's never Too late for anything in this world
my mum has melanoma and recently she read online that baking soda cures cancer. she dissolves a teaspoon baking soda in a glass of hot water and drinks it three times a day. i'm no doctor but this is unhealthy, right? i'm afraid for her stomach and general health. i understand searching for medical advice here is stupid, but i just want some reassurance.
ps: she's seeing a doctor, baking soda isn't her only remedy, but still i don't think drinking that shit is okay even for a healthy person, am i right?
>>17669380
I think its ok if its dissolved.
>I'm no doctor.
>>17669380
I dont see how it could hurt
Try asking a doctor on JustAnswer
Not getting her cancer treated will kill her faster than the baking soda will