i'm dead inside cuz i'm missing out, what do
pic related
Specify the things you're "missing out on". Being homeless? In a toxic relationship? Addicted to the hardest drugs? Your family won't accept you? Not having wi-fi?
>>17678104
i'm missing out on whats suppost to be the prime of my life (sex on a regular basis) due to my genetics. My parents are compensating me with 100k but i'm still missing out
bump i need advice
>be me 24m
>start hanging out with new co-worker 23f
>spend more and more time together(study,dinner etc.)
>start hooking up
>turns out she has a bf that lives in the UK
>says they have an open arrangement for the time being
>month goes by
>starts wanting me around all the time
>texts me everyday and turns to me for anything
>when drunk she tells me how much she likes me and all the qualities she likes about me.
>the morning after she passively makes a comment about feeling bad that shes keeping me from other girls
>persists in asking questions when I mention other girls and gets noticeably upset.
I'm getting the impression that shes starting to get feelings for me and is scared. Whenever she attempts to create any distance or bring up her boyfriend it seems a bit forced. Although i'm starting to worry she is just using me as an emotional and physical sponge. The fucked up thing is...I'm starting to like her too. Either way I realize this is a shit situation and i'm an idiot for allowing myself to be in it. At least the sex is great. Should I break it off before it blows up in my face?
>>17678065
Wait so they have an arrangement for the time being means they are fighting or seperated i.e. "time off"?
If not then whats gonna happen if you two become a thing and you two have to split ways for a little bit? How the fucks that gonna work?
>>17678077
As in they basically have an open relationship while they are apart. Though, she never has anything quite good to say about him. Still, this is what has me feeling that i'm just filling the role for the time being.
>>17678106
You ARE just filling that role for the time being. Either she's going to want to stick with you, or she'll move on past you. If she's not got anything good to say about him though, it doesn't seem like they'll last long after they get back together, if they get back at all.
It's really up to you whether or not you want to break it off now or try to win her over - I would highly recommend AGAINST trying to ride it out though. In terms of riding it out, you're already posting on 4chan asking about it, so you're probably not in the place you'd need to be emotionally to handle getting more attached and then having her leave well.
If you break it off now, there goes the sex. If she likes the sex though, so will someone else, and there's a lot of chicks out there.
If you try to win her over, you may even succeed, but you have to consider two things. One, she's already talking shit about her boyfriend - if you became her boyfriend, she may very well treat you just as she treats him now. Two, she's in an open relationship - she may want that if you became her boyfriend, in which case you better want that as well.
Oh, and being an emotional sponge is just a price for sex. Don't sweat that if you're enjoying your end of the bargain.
>bf since 1 year
>love(d) him so much
>3 days to london with mom and lil sis
>hes on party, he tells me per smartphone he kissed his best friend which he had a crush on, his best friend and some other girls bc they thaught "everything is so fun lets do this lmao" ruining my trip somehow for a short amount of time
>back in germany
> have discussion about it
> he`s honest with me about the evening
> he seems to regret it
> i love him still but every time i touch or see him i cant do anything but remember how he kissed some girls in fear he could do it again
>my trust in him is broken, he know he has done shit as fuck
>I do not know why my feelings are still there for him but fuck i have a big problem
>on one side i want him to be with me because i feel like this is not right, mostly tendical bc of my feelings maybe? i dont realy know
> on the other i want him to go cause no trust, he could do it again and i have to balance my disgust when i touch him
>>17678038
Youre right to feel this way. MY 2 cents are to cut and run. With me everyone gets one. Its not hard to be a decent human being and in a relationship respect is everything. If my significant other fucked around like that it wouldnt be a trust issue that bothered me, itd be the lack of respect. And thats harder to earn for me than trust
>my trust in him is broken, he know he has done shit as fuck.
I fucking love this.
>>17678038
>my trust in him is broken, he know he has done shit as fuck
how old are you OP
>>17678072
thanks buddy gonna think about it
>>17678062
lol 16 sry man xD
Had sex for the first time in a few months yesterday, found it difficult to keep a hard on
I could get one, but any sort of stop like putting a condom on or trying to penetrate her (she was really, really tight and not that experienced with sex, took a lot of "trying") killed my hardon
Porn could be the problem? I literally never have a problem getting myself hard on cue and getting myself off, and admittedly Ive watched a shit ton of porn over the last few months since my last breakup, to the point it was pretty much part of my daily routine
Think it was the problem?
No harm in trying...
Even if it wasn't, porn is bad anyway.
Especially when you use it on a daily basis. That shit fucks you up.
You're not the only one friend
>>TFW Experience of Girl sucks your cock for the first time ruined by porn
I don't feel really super turned on unless she's rubbing the frenulum, oh boy, but I don't think it's supposed to be like that.
I feel fucking ashamed that I lost my sensation (I STILL HAVE MY FORESKIN NERVES WTFF) due to watching porn as a kid. Like is this normal?
She can deep throat me but I stop feeling anything sexual unless it's on the head or majorly the under side of my frenulum
My hair naturally parts down the middle and it's driving me fucking insane. Any way to get it to stop?
>>17677996
A professional can help. A skilled barber can usually cut your hair in a way that makes anything work and if they can't they can recommend something that will look good anyway.
How do I know if theyre a pro
>>17678013
They have a licence? A diploma from barber/beautician school?
Hey /adv/,
I need some help, dealing with people who are constantly selfish, arrogant and constantly feels superior over me. I try my best to tolerate and be patient with them but it seriously gets under my nerves sometimes. Any advice on how to better tolerate these people? Thanks guys
>>17677988
>tolerate
Theres your problem
>>17677993
what do you mean anon?
>>17678010
Lemme put it this way
>how can i get better conditioned to being constantly stepped on
Thats how i read your post.
I want to go out with this one girl, she has shown interest in it, should I outright call us doing X a date or no?
"Date" is a powerful word for any activity. She may like it. If she doesn't, call it "hanging out".
>>17677990
Well I can't predict if she will or wont like it
>>17677990
I want her to see me as a potential boyfriend not as "JUST FRIENDS =)"
Hey /adv/ I want to form a super secret cult, but the problem is how do I find members who won't blab: they want to look cool, they are idiots, they don't care about the cult, etc.
I was thinking about forming a secret cult and maybe finding powerful people to join it when it gains more influence, but how can I find members who won't infiltrate it or blab without killing them?
Any advice on forming and managing a cult?
:/
...brainwashing is the way to go. Initiation by conditioning.
Recruiting each member of a cult is about as difficult as getting a girlfriend.
It's a talent, and you most likely don't have it.
>>17677978
I've already formed that cult, and you're in it. Didn't you get the newsletter?
I need help
I have a friend who I'm very attracted to.
The thing is, I don't know if he's straight or not. And I don't want him to be mad at me or lose his friendship.
Little bit of background: We stayed in a friend's house on a weekend. I got to sleep close to him. I don't know how but I managed to mess with his hair until he fell asleep.
On the other day, I got to sleep close to him again. This time I massaged him all night (he was awake). He seemed to be enjoying and took deep breathes when I reached his neck.
Let's cut to now
>I'm in his house
>Came over to finish a university assignment
>Alone at night with him
>He chooses to let me sleep in his bed and goes to the couch in the living room
>No signs of affection
>I'm too scared to do something without a least a little hint that he might be wanting something more
>It's my last day here and I'm really sad about leaving his house
>I want to cuddle him
Help me /adv/
What should I do?
How do I know if he is into boys?
If the massage thing didn't happen, I wouldn't even consider going further. But that did happen and I really liked.
(Sorry about my english. It's not my mother tongue)
>>17677966
Fuck thats rough. I can see your problem cause a lot of dudes would be worried if they found out a close gay friend wanted to fuckem. But then again if he knows youre gay and he lets you touch him then you must be close.
Hell if i had my gay friend closer to where i live id let him rub my shoulders to but weve already had that "aint fuckin happenin" talk. But im 30 and i dont give a fuck what it appears to be to others. I just see it as having a half manly chick friend.
>>17677974
Sorry, I forgot. I closeted.
Nobody knows I'm bisexual.
Should I come out to him?
>>17677998
>I closeted
I'm
I don't understand what to do towards finding a social network. I moved to a new state which is completely different from what I'm used to. Everywhere I've gone has just left me stirring around and eventually just leaving me no choice but to go home. I've tried being social at bars, for example, but it just feels disingenuous to me. I've tried using the website "meet up," but I haven't found any luck finding people the ages of 23+ that I could actually establish myself with. I also have trouble thinking about joining a group which already has strong connections within it and just being the odd man out....
Am I just fucked as a 24 year old guy for moving out of my old social network? It's not easy making friends post high school and my current profession has people much older than me and thus, not really interested in doing much with me....
I work 5 days a week as well, on top of being a college student.. so I just feel like it's hard to even make time.... but I'm so fuckin lonely it's tearing me apart.
I can't join a club at my current college because the days and times generally don't fit my schedule. I don't have the leniency of telling my boss when I can come in or not... it requires a lot of my time...
I can't even find mutual online friends that I could have out with on discord. Most groups have their networks established and not many are willing to open up to people who aren't doing the same activities and dedicating the same amount of time as them... This really sucks =(
Please tell me there's a way to end this cycle.
Real friends are hard to find/notice. Especially depending where you are.
I live in a metro area and I can tell you that has a lot to do with the way I treat people. I look at everyone I meet they're a liability/risk factor. Lot of people in this world trying to fuck you up, take advantage and shit like that. I avoid that at all costs. Someone really has to prove it to me through months/years that they aren't into that for me to trust them. The people I do interact with are my co-workers and relatives on my wife's side.
You usually find friends and a social network at work but sometime's you're just shit out of luck if you are a outgoing person but nobody you know wants to hook up and hang out.
What job do you do?. Do you go to school?. If you don't do either one of those I don't see a place for you to make "real" friends.
>>17677915
I'm an accountant for a small firm. The owner and my co-worker I'm decent friends with, but one of them is 36 years older than me with a wife and a son. The other one is 20 years older than me and so we all just speak in the workplace restrictively.
I go to school as well, but I just don't have the time to engage with students the way I feel like people need (and I need frankly since I don't just want /anyone). I just have no real way of being able to establish myself in my current paradigm and it feels like I keep running into a brick wall.
I live in a semi metropolitan area, but I have a hard time being in the city since I've been raised in the suburbs.
>>17677928
Well, you go to school and have a job. Seems like you wouldn't have much time to "go out and have fun" much anyways considering you probably have a busy schedule.
Just how much more interaction do you expect more than what you get now?.
You probably chit chat at work but don't go out to a bar to drink on a weekend or something but you would like to?. Is that the case?.
The guy you mentioned that has a family. I have a wife and pets so I wouldn't have too much time to get out even if I wanted to because I need to give her some of my time. He might be the same case.
Well, im here just to vent and get my feelings off my chest since I dont know any other way how.
I'm a pretty nice guy, I come from poverty, mental and physical abuse and grew into the man I am today. Im very humble and I tend to give way to much to people then never ask for a favor back or then get ridiculed when I step up and fight back.
See. Im a manager my employees and I are friends. Changes are happening they arent stepping up, so i have to get mean.
ive never been mean intentionally before. When i was younger i was a very mean angry adolescent. Got into fights, hurt people and things and hated everything.
Now im a happy me, and i like me most people tend to like me and be comfortable around me and im just goofy and weird and just do my own thing and it's been so magical to find myself in this place.
I realized i conformed and had issues with that but learned that I had to grow up and do these things to better myself I guess and do what my family couldn't do and prove that no matter your background if you put in the effort you can climb from literal DIRT SHIT that i come from and get a new car just like i did for the first time of my life and im only 24 years old and its so great to feel this way.
but being mean its hard, being tough, its hard. its not me and im not a fake person but in my position its do or die and if i dont hold my employees responsible my careers in danger and im more important for myself.
but the selfless me comes out and says to fight but when do I get a turn to do things for myself and do what I WANNA DO and not feel bad for my actions, why do i have to feel bad? i shouldn't im important my lifes important and people hold me dearly but my job makes me have to change, is that fair? i dont know.
It should be, it should lbe understood its my position and its what comes with the position but my employees dont understand, i guess its not their job to but. i dont know. lifes weird man.
>op here
Figuring myself out is rather difficult i guess, i just pick my own brain apart because im open minded and question everything which to me isnt a bad thing but. i guess there has to be a balance.
balancing is new to me, i was always extremely this or that and balls to the walls, i never had a mutual happy medium for my feelings and now i have to.
i guess what im trying to say is that just i want to be happy and i awnt others to be happy and through me be happy but how can i be happy if i dont do what i have to do.
in 5 years these feelings wont be relevant ill have moved on but in this moment its everything and i want to do the best i can with myself as a human being.
fuck haha im just staring at my keyboard getting it out, like a big mouth trout, on the route, people always want to be fake, and hate, and yet here i am middle in the night awake, wondering who i am wondering if im the man that everyone said i am and yet people doubt people got their heads int he cloud i just wanna be me and live my own life within reality.
>>17677825
>See. Im a manager my employees and I are friends
Then youre a shitty manager. You dont get people to do what you want/need them to do by having them like you.
Just think of it as, "They're still learning." Whomever holds the values you do, will become a manager, or something more, someday. Those that don't, will find their own way, or stay as "employees". Assertive =/= mean.
I feel like while in a relationship, or at least my current one,there are more things/situations to be upset about than if one was single. For example, getting in an argument with a spouse one night whereas if you were single that wouldn't happen. On the other hand, I like the person I'm with for the most part and usually enjoy spending time with her. I'm thinking of logging how much time is spent being upset vs being happy and weighing out if its worth. Is this the best way to approach this issue?
>>17677761
No, its not. It sounds like you want to make a fucking spreadsheet to weigh the pros and cons of being with people. Next youll be labeling your underwear and sorting your loose change by taste.
No one gets along completely with another for the simple fact they are another entity. What you have to realise is if what bothers you about them is in of itself stupid i.e. you dont like the way they say aluminum, v.s. a significant fucking problem i.e. this person treats waiters/ hired help like dog shit.
>>17677779
I don't expect us to completely get along, it would be ideal but probably not realistic. I don't see whats wrong with approaching it the spreadsheet way if it'll help make my decision more precise and clear. The person has her flaws, but so do I we both have growing and work to do and I'm fine with that. The issue is that I don't want to spend more time in negative spaces like arguments or anxieties caused by being in a relationship if the time spent enjoying the good parts is out weighed by the bad.
>>17677798
>I don't see whats wrong with approaching it the spreadsheet way if it'll help make my decision more precise and clear
You do realise people are not investments right? Even more so when its someone youre fuckin. The decision is pretty easy to make without making a damn piechart. You either want to be with them, or not.
Have you ever been in a failing relationship, /adv/?
I see how my girlfriend looks at me, and I know deep down I don't make her happy. I've been counting the days while she gradually works up the courage to break up with me, because that's the least I could do for her.
I never wanted to be with anyone else so much, but I'm starting to accept we aren't meant for each other. I'm pretty sure she's cheating on me, but I'll never have proof. I don't know what to do.
She already cheated on me and I tried taking her back, but I can't do it. I can't trust her. I should have ended it then.
I know she does care, and I'm worried how breaking up will hurt her. She already told people what she did, and she says she's ashamed of herself.
I feel like I might be giving up on what could be a great relationship. We've already shared so much intimately to each other, but I don't know if it can work. She insists she wants me, but my instincts are telling me she's still lying.
She proved to you that she doesn't want you by cheating on you.
>while she gradually works up the courage to break up with me, because that's the least I could do for her.
If she WANTS to break up and wants it to happen then you'd be doing her a favor and end it for her. She might not be ending it because she thinks you can't handle it (and maybe you can't).
>She already cheated on me and I tried taking her back, but I can't do it. I can't trust her. I should have ended it then.
I had a relationship like this once. I did marry her and ended up realizing I couldn't shake what she did and eventually we just split up but it wasn't directly for that reason.
>>17677735
She cheated on her (now) ex with me, and broke off another relationship while we were dating. After I confronted her she swears those were the only ones and she only wants me. But she's still being shady or I'm being paranoid.
I'm so confused and I don't know if she's being genuinely remorseful and I want to believe she is. I also feel like a scumbag for taking her back.
>>17677737
>She might not be ending it because she thinks you can't handle it (and maybe you can't).
I can, and I've typed up everything I'm prepared to say to her. I've also considered this might be what's holding her back.
I've been coming to terms with everything since she cheated but I don't want to put her through all of this stress of admitting what she did and feeling guilty (?) just to break up with her. I want to believe her so badly, but every instinct that told me she was cheating is telling me she's lying and I need to get out.
How do I relocate to California to become a musician? How the fuck does anyone
Find success anywhere by being a YouTube sensation. I just met a guy with this ambition that moved out of California because of the cost of living being the biggest issue.
>>17677712
I'm more of an in person guy
>>17677728
So why Commiefornia?
is it better to get a student loan for 25k and live with room mates or buy a house for my family on bad terms we fight a lot, and the house would be out of state. or screw both and get a car?
Get a car and live inside your car.
Screw both. Get a used Toyota. Self-study. Schools suck nowadays. Plenty of helpful content on the Internet and several books of the same field competing for "updated supremacy".
>not living for yourself
Screw both. Get a car.
You should really avoid debt though.
Buy the car with cash on-hand if possible, and if you MUST get in debt, get a reliable car that has low maintenance and repair costs so you don't get raped on repairs.