Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3473. page

>>17727432
>food, clothing, entertainment
first off cut that down to
>food

>>17727434
That was just me saying that I have $888 to spend on literally anything other than the non-variable options.

With regards to food, what do you suggest I buy to keep myself healthy and well-fed? I imagine rice for carbs, but is there anything you can recommend ?

Biking is next to free besides replacement parts are you close enough to your work to do that?

I used to commute 10 miles each way every day when I was working and my thighs are still toned as fuck.

>>17727422
Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina.

The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion.


First, do Kegel exercises by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating:

Squeeze the muscles.
Hold for 2 to 10 seconds.
Relax the muscles.
Do about 20 Kegels at a time. You can do them as many times a day as you want to.

After a few days, insert one finger, up to about the first knuckle joint, inside the vagina while doing the exercises. It's a good idea to clip your fingernails first and use a lubricating jelly. Or do the exercises in a bathtub, where water is a natural lubricant.

Start with one finger and work your way up to three. You'll feel the vagina's muscles contracting around your finger, and you can always take your finger out if you're not comfortable.

For women whose vaginismus is related to fear or anxiety, therapy helps.

>t. someone who googled it for you

>>17727430
I'm not OP but regardless, I appreciate the effort you made for this post. Thanks, anon.

Hi anon,

I also have vaginismus. I also have vulvadynia. So, it is possible only part of this applies to you.

Vaginismus is sometime developed by a trauma in your life. Was there a childhood trauma? Alternatively have you been raped?
The tenth time in my life (approximately), I was involved in a non-consentual sex scenario by my then-boyfriend. He was my second partner. I don't remember having sex issues with him until after the non-consent issue. However, I had previously had issues with the past partner because he couldn't get inside me and he would force himself inside me, and I let him.
Anyway, trauma can do it. But it isn't necessarily the reason. If it is though, you should do talk-therapy. Ideally someone familiar with sex therapy.

When I first went to the gynecologist she did several tests to determine the issue. She saw micro-tears at the entrance of my vagina, showing that It was visible how partners had been forcing themselves inside me. Since that was all I knew, I didn't even realize it wasn't supposed to be painful like that.
What she also was able to see is how I flinched with pain when she poked me with a long q-tip. She did the same motion on my arm, and she was not pressing hard at all. The third visit I nearly had a panic attack when she brought out the jar of q-tips (kinda like the panic one might feel if it was a needle). There were certain locations checked and this is how she diagnosed me with vulvadynia. The very entrance of the vagina she was counting as part of the vulva I believe.

The other exam the doctor did was for vaginismus. For this, she inserted her fingers inside me and pressed on certain muscles. She pressed in many directions, all of which were painful. There was one area where I was in so much pain I thought I was going to pass out. She told me I had weak pelvic floor muscles. She said that every time she pressed there was an involuntary muscle spasm, that may have been causing me pain.

(Part 1)

>>17727414
>I don't deserve her
yes you do dude, or do you think she is just an idiot for dating you? in fact, she has put herself in a position where she doesnt deserve you.

>>17727426
We both have put on wieght, me about 20 pounds, and her probably 40-60 pounds, but I don't know exactly because she's always been conscience about her wieght, so I didn't exactly read her scale or push her too far on it. There are times where I'll say I like her fat, but I think it's out of love or because I'm horny and find her more attractive. And she's always been quick to tell me she likes me with more fat then skinnier. If I'm not in the mood then I start to find it disgusting. I can't force her to live her life my way, I don't want her to do that. But her choice to gain all this weight is putting a wedge in between us. I just feel I don't deserve her because I'm not perfect and have many faults as well.

>>17727501
well if you feel you dont deserve her then why not dump her?

>>17727406
memes aside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41Bb8s0kgQA

Even if you land one of these jobs, I would start looking into a union job. Electric, plumbing or metal work. If your degree isn't in a hard science or something to do with tech it's fucking useless. Union jobs are secure and they pay well. If you won't want to do that, try the military and go in as in officer.

>>17727431
>it's fucking useless

Not OP, but I seriously don't understand this. I'm a first-year English Lit student - admittedly it doesn't guarantee you a job like training for a trade does, but what's stopping me from becoming the guy who writes the information placards at museums?

>>17727401
at the end of one of your worthwhile conversations ask for her number and ask her out or ask to hang out sometime, it would only be weird if she ends up being not interested, and if she isnt, then no big deal

>>17727408
So what do I do if she ends up not being interested?

I dont want to lose her as a friend

>>17727436
>she's not really a friend

>>17727389
life = over
but actually, what ever man. your dick is your dick. you had sex with a girl! good for you!

whats wrong with your dick

>>17727400
It's small and curved to the left like a boomerang, Mr. Dubs.

>>17727367
fug him in the benis

>>17727376
i don't think he lieks me back! maybe if he showed a little more signs i would :3c just a one night stand!

>>17727367
be really flirty, if you can. and I don't mean grab his crotch, I just mean raise the frequency. hopefully he'll pick up on your vibes and feel a little better that someone actually wants him. it's always flattering. if you're 200 pounds this won't work though

>>17727362

How about you fucking talk to him and correct the misunderstanding.

God, you are so dumb.

>>17727362
what? he asked if he made you uncomfortable and you said yes and now he avoids you because he wants to be able to be coworkers without any trouble. its your own fault for being such an awkward shithead.

like seriously, what did you expect him to do? what do you think would be reacting positively to being told he makes you uncomfortable?

maybe try and explain to him that the reason he makes you uncomfortable is because you are awkward and like him. but you probably wont do that because you are an awkward shithead

>>17727362
Because, as men, making women comfortable is the one thing we're taught to do. We are taught to protect, honor, and care for women. It's a bit of a sharp blow when we're told that women feel uneasy when we're around. It hurts. When people are hurt, they sometimes want to hurt what hurt them. I'm actually pretty surprised that you don't understand this. It's not a hard concept if you put yourself in his shoes.

Yes she will.

>>17727346
student loans are forever. not even death can get rid of them

That's a bummer. I guess I need to make $20,000 before I do it. This sounds like the plot to some fucked up movie.

>>17727306
that is a dumb, autistic idea

>>17727306
if she says no just rape her.

>>17727321
>Completely genius infallible plan dumb and autistic
Ur a dumb autistic idea
>>17727323
Hilarious then when I'm done
"it's just a prank bro"

>>17727298
Honest to god OP, that does sound like mild autism. Are you able to recognize sarcasm when you hear it?

I have a friend who "challenges our views" and play's devil's advocate a lot, he's very smart but it almost gets to the point of discomfort for us sometimes. People don't always like to have their beliefs questioned, especially in casual social settings. It's a matter of picking up on when it's appropriate or not.

why would somebody do that? just go onto the internet and lie like that??

>>17727298
OK. So, what would you like advice on?

>>17727267
what happened that makes you never able to get laid again? i mean, not showering, brushing your teeth or taking care of yourself can do it, but what happened before you started digging yourself deeper into the hole of loneliness?

is there an echo in this thread? in this thread?

>>17727280
My only real girlfriend was a stroke of absolute luck from an incredibly desperate girl who happened to live across the street.

The question you should be asking is would a "normie" girl date me?

>>17727259
Do you like and accept her for her?
Does she like and accept you for you?

If the answer to these is yes, then yes, it's okay.

>>17727259
You'll get bored eventually.
Just call it a practice girlfriend.

poor OP, you are in for a rude awakening. it never gets any better. you will get more and more tired until you want to put a bullet in your brain.

>>17727227
I'm going to disregard your post and point out that wicked sick get.

>>17727227

This, by month 3 you'll have lost the will to live. Month one and your first payday is as good as it gets. I did this for 3 months around christmas in a VERY busy cafe inside a large retail store in the UK.

After working and your feet are tired don't just go home, or have a drink or smoke pot or whatever. Dedicate at least an hour of your evening applying to jobs. I hate to say it but I'd rather work in a callcentre than a cafe again

Here's a nice memory working in a shitty cafe where 90% of customers are pensioners...

>Old guy refuses to wait in queue. Decides he is going to 'reserve' tables in a FULL cafe with a 40 person queue with a 15 minute wait for his family. And in the process he will take up 4-6 seats while inconveniencing every mother fucker he's just walked past in the queue for 20 minutes telling them they cant sit down while his family are served. Used the ol' 'muh walking stick' routine. Makes comments at female crybaby coworker and sets off her waterworks. I have to go over because she is literally standing in front of him in tears telling him no. I tell him I'll sort this out for him right now, he thinks he's getting special treatment. I go round back and get a fold out chair. Kick it open at his part in the queue and tell him to sit down. People laughing at the old geezer in the queue being taunted by old ladies. Tried to walk past me raised his walking stick as if pointing and jabbed it towards me. I grabbed the thing 'Get out.' I want to speak to your manager 'GET OUT. NOW!' Some of these decrepit old gits think their in their 50s still. He made a complaint they watched CCTV and I was commended.

>Asian kid, telling me 5s are 20s.
>Drunk manager disturbing my christmas lunch. Demands I sit with her team and have fun.
>Student coworker stealing £6 sandwich toasties in his crotch.
>Old lady wants to introduce me to her 14 year old daughter.
>etc...

>>17727212
I'm kind of like that, but my problem is procrastination. Just know that you're not really 'supposed' to have a particular group of friends, job, girlfriend. Just chill out, and make decisions as they come. But your problem seems more complex than all that. Maybe talk to a career councillor.

>>17727212
The only wrong choice is inaction and shit that goes against your morals. Objectivity doesn't really exist in the sense you're thinking of.

>>17727212
I can relate with most of what you are saying. might be OCD, which I have been told I have. Some advice I'll give to you (and would give to myself if I werent me) is, there is no way to know what the perfect thing is in any situation. luckily, you dont need to make perfect decisions. no one can and no one needs to. You only live once, and no one lives perfectly, just try and take things moment to moment and dont worry so much about whether your choices are the most bestest ever. hope this makes sense, its hard to say it perfectly ( xD ) since its advice i myself should and dont take, but hope you and I figure it out man