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My life is boring, I get very little pleasure out of it and default on being unhappy. Dunno if I'm depressed, lonely, afraid, or what. I'm terrible at reading emotions, much less myself.
Also I'm falling in love with my best friend who just got out of a 3 year relationships and has been extremely affectionate towards me as a recovery method. Though I'm sure she isn't actually interested. So that's neat. Not relevant, just been thinking about that alot.
Post about your conflicts with boredom. If you can't find someone that cares in real life, you can at least share with those that have similar problems.
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im boring as fuck, so ill die alone. not even serial killers die alone, but being boring in society is being the worst of the worst. i think im used to the idea, whatever.
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>>17733696
Yea I'm boring too. But it's definitely not an issue that's permanent. Plus some like boredom, so if you don't really want to change, there's probably some people out there that would enjoy the slow pace you move at. Don't sweat it too much, just try to live in the moment some more. Our problems are different but I empathize with you.
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>>17733700
>Our problems are different
how the fuck would you know what my problems are.
>there's probably some people out there that would enjoy the slow pace you move at
i dont move slow. im just boring. also i despise people that like me.
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>talked to qt freshmen girl in line for chipotle
>am sophmore
>made her smile giggle all that had cool talk
>at end ask her for number
>playfully go "you dont have a boyfriend do you"
>her demeanor changes and she gives me her number and a quiet "no"
>have been ghosted
Did I fuck up? Did she have a boyfriend?
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>caring about other people
That's where you went wrong desu. Fuck her, who cares.
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>>17733665
Yes, you fucked up. You shouldn't have asked if she was in a relationship or not, it makes you look like a predator and most women don't like to be prey. They want to be flattered, not hunted. You looked thirsty to her and she rejected you.
You also need some time before asking her number. Do it only when you are about to part ways, not immediately after you think you made a good impression.
You have self-esteem, and that's a good thing that will greatly help with women. You just need to work on your method.
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>>17733681
I asked at the tail end
I figured being direct would be better
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my dear friend a US veteran and his ex shared custody of their son one day when he goes to pick his son like a regular visit and the police r there with his ex and he gets handed a restraining order against him for her oldest daughter and her saying its cause he was beating them. they dont even live with each other. He was so confused. years later it was revealed the little girl told her teachers her mom hit her when she had marks on her face, if he would have known that at the time he would have used that in court to prove his thats why she was doing this hoping cps would not look into her.. he at least was granted seeing his son since the claims were not against him. time goes on.. one day when he goes to pick his son from his regular visit he puts him down on the car seat and he screamed in pain cause he had bruises all along his back he was so upset he asked her what happened and she said that her boyfriend did that to his son he was about 2 years old he was so upset he got into fight with him. right after that incident she filed another restraining order against him this time against his son and her claiming he abuses her and all the kids she used that incident against him. years go by that he hasnt seen his son and he gets a call one day to go to court cause she lost all her kids to cps.. all the kids got to go with their dads besides his son cause of the 5 year restraining order she has on him.. he found out that she would hit him so hard he would have bleeding welts on him he told the foster care worker his mom would often call him stupid and tell him she hates him because hes stupid.. they give him paper work of abuse and reports made against her dating back for years he had no idea about any of it.. he used this new evidence he had to try to prove that he was innocent.. he was never mentioned at all in any reports by the kids.. he still lost in court cause she showed up to fight him with a lawyer. his son needs his dad. can he sue the county?
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>>17733651
Nope, he can't sue the county. All he can do is petition for custody. I'm sorry to say that if he wants his son then he's going to need a good lawyer, a lot of money, and patience.
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would media attention help this situation? how can anyone convict him with out actual evidence?
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>>17733718
Because cps is HEAVILY biased against fathers.
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I deleted a bunch of people from facebook for my mental health. Anyone from mildly annoying to the absolute worst was deleted.
One of the mildly annoying messaged me asking why i deleted her.
I don't want to tell them I'm annoyed by them but I dont want to add them either. what do?
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>>17733640
Do you want to really improve your mental health? Get the fuck off social media
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^
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Just ignore it?
I'm a 49 year old mother of 3 children, and I've been married to my husband for 20 years. My mother in law is the problem. She lives right next to us, so she constantly comes over with food, to the point where we have so much food, we can't eat everything and have to throw it away. We get food EVERYDAY in large portions, then she gets upset when we don't eat it. If we don't like it, she gets very upset and starts blaming me for not being able to take care of the kids because me and my husband both work full time jobs. She is so controlling as well, when she doesn't control everything she starts worrying and won't leave people alone. We have had MULTIPLE talks with her (this is an understatement) about reducing the amount of food she brings over, but 3 days after the talk she starts doing it again. Not only this, but she is so invasive in everything that goes on in my family. I really can't escape it. She wants to know what everyone is doing at every time of the week. It drives me and my husband crazy. I feel like I've done everything I can, and I'm ready to be totally adamant about her not bringing food over. Even if I have to leave my husband to get away from her.
Also to provide some extra context, we are a Korean family that lives in the US. My grandma speaks at about a 4th grade level English while the rest of the family is completely fluent because all my children were born in the US, while me and my husband moved to America at a young age from Korea (around 6th grade).
Please help, any advice is greatly appreciated. I'm convinced she is obsessed with us and blows off everything we say to her. This is 20 years in the making and this drives me crazy. And I'm positive this isn't because my father in law died and she's lonely, but according to my husband and his brothers, she's always been like this. She's a very controlling person, and butts into everything. She does this all in the name of love, but it sure doesn't feel like it.
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Quit bitching
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>>17733605
Milf
Also just shun/exile/ move away
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>>17733605
Most elderly behave that way but aren't as physically close so it usually doesn't get that bad. The language barrier may make her feel isolated from people outside of family and fellow Korean speakers. That along with the sense of duty to family is why she does it. She's probably not trying to be a horrible person.
Look, this is going to end with hurt feelings all around no matter how this plays out but you can choose how and when it happens. You can either start accepting the food and lying about eating it all and get rid of it in some other way like composting it or donating or something. OR you can be honest and call the old lady out on her BS. She'll be hurt, maybe your husband feels hurt. But that will fade over time. You could move away. There is an actual formula called mother-in-law distance which is far enough away that they don't casually drop by but not so far that they have to stay the night if they do visit.
No matter what you chose you will need the support of your spouse to make anything stick otherwise it will force them to pick a side and guys make terrible choices where emotions are involved. But leaving your husband seems like an overreaction if this is the only problem.
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Are there any times a person you're in a relationship with "needs space and time to think"? And actually means this in the literal sense, not some corney cliche breakup bullshit?
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>>17733601
I've had times where I've actually just needed space and time alone for a few days. It's never anything personal, but they always take it that way.
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>>17733601
Yes.
I needed time alone, my boyfriend needed it too. It was because we were in a bad place mentally because of external factors and wanted to deal with those things alone.
Sometimes we also just want to fuck off and not talk.
It was never about our relationship - when we had relationships problems we talked to each other.
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First off, that's completely normal. Sometimes life bites you in the ass and you want to collect yourself without any distractions.
Now how to tell someone that you need some space. Talk to them in person, you'll look like a pussy if you text or call them. Be honest and tell her the truth, make sure she knows that you need a few days and be descriptive when describing what's got you down. Finally tell her you love her and make that apparent. I've done this a few times and each time she's understood why I needed a break.
Best of luck
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My roommate is threatening to kick me out on the spot with no notice and says she can legally do so.
I have been subletting here for half a year and she was threatening to damage my things if she throws them out.
Even though I am a subtenant, she needs to give me either 7 or 30 days notice to leave right? I live in Pennsylvania by the way (in case that effects any laws about this)
Thanks
>pic unrelated
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>>17733528
Are you on the lease? Does her lease allow her to even sublett to you? If not, just tell the owners and get her kicked out too.
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>>17733528
Ur sandwich tho
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>>17733528
Talk to the landlord, not us
been reading 4chan for quite awhile now but first time posting.
fiancee dumped me last week been drunk ever since.
5 years together
end of high school into adult life
fought in Afghanistan, she helped me
literally was the voice of reason in my head
" im sorry anon you mean very much to me and always will, theres nothing you can say or do, i dont want you anymore."
already dating guys
what do i do? how do i move on?
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>>17733458
I know its a cliché but, it DOES get better with time. I'm not gonna lie, your situation is fucked up. Don't do anything stupid, but have fun.
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If she dumped you and is already dating other guys, then don't worry about her, she is a child emotionally. You deserve better. She was your high school sweetie, rarely those work out and there is better out there for you.
What you need to do is immediately forgive her, she is a human and is going to do stupid shit. No one is perfect and exempt from doing stupid shit. Now is a good time to work on yourself and make yourself a better person.
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How do I improve my looks?
I'm really torn on what to do with my hair. I'm obviously basically bald, but I don't know what to do. I could keep it like it is (relatively short), although I feel like it looks like shit.
I could buzz it and keep it very short, but I feel like that really wouldnt fix that problem of having this little bit of shitty hair on my head.
Or I could full on shave my head to the skin. I think this might be the best option, but I'm not sure. My head is kind of big and I feel like I'll look weird with this huge fucking 4head and bald dome.
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>>17733453
try going on /fa/
you'll probs get roasted but there's some great advice on how to look good
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>>17733453
that being said you'd look good with a beanie on
might look a little like a stoner tho
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>>17733463
Yeah, I've thought about hats but I've always hated wearing hats, especially beanies.
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I'd like to be a psychiatrist, yet I myself am a psychopath. What do you think?
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>>17733431
I think that first sentence will make a great edgy facebook post
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>>17733431
>psychopath
Hhnope. Not if you're self-diagnosed, which you are.
Tip for you: stay away from the p-word on here. Not because it spooks people, it doesn't, but because we get dozens of self-diagnosed psychopaths rolling through here and without fail they end up being edgy teens (& a couple exceptionally immature adults).
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>>17733431
why do you want to do this?
Anonymous
Social anxiety : Im scared to work anymore 2016-11-04 04:44:06 Post No.17733414
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Social anxiety : Im scared to work anymore 2016-11-04 04:44:06 Post No.17733414
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Social anxiety : Im scared to work anymore
Anonymous
2016-11-04 04:44:06
Post No. 17733414
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Im 21 y/o, studying in a foreign country. My monthly allowance is barely enough, so ive considered part-time job is an option. I dont really look for them, because my social anxiety is very bad, i will mumble and became voiceless when i talk to strangers.
Then, my friend introduced me to a job as kitchen porter at a fine-dining restaurant where he used to work at. They require no experience, and will accept anyone. I applied for the job and got it
However, they insisted for me to work as a waiter instead because there's not enough people. I go for it anyway at least i get a job. Today is the first day, i fucked up everything. I got called every 10 minute by the manager, owner, everyone for something i did. I spilled a pint of beer on a customer. I know everyone is mad at me but they tried so hard to be nice. Even, a collegue who being friendly at me at first, stopped talking to me later on. I dont feel like working anymore on next day. I ashamed to face them anymore. I know they wont fire me because they are desperate for people but that would be great. I also very scared to quit now, ive gone too far, too much dissapointment we result from this, to them, to my friends, to me. Im still nervous for tommorow
Advice?
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Figure out everything that you did wrong and write down or create a mental map.
Honestly try to see how you can avoid that shit from happening again and look online on tips to become a sucessful waiter. Everyone has been in your shoes in every avenue of life.
If you look back at this in 3 years you will laugh but at this moment it is all you're thinking about. I know it's shitty but that's just how it goes. You literally have no way out. There's no stopping you're in too far. It's either you hone up to your mistakes and apologize for fucking up so bad or you don't even show up and fuck them over even worse.
It's up to you but just know your friends name is on the line so either do shit about it or sit there trembling in your bed.
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>>17733424
I understand what you mean, you are too fucking right. Salute
But i cant stop thinking about today. Nothing makes me feels better. I dont know if this is normal. Asking my friends who also used to be waiter, their first day is fine, just small problems.. I cant image if i tell them what happened today.
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>>17733414
Hm. Initials?
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I just lost my car, and now, I can't keep my job. I've been depressed for six years now, and I have no idea what to do. So I can't get a job closer, due to health problems, and other things. The worst part is that my dad is threatening to kick me out, because now he legally can, because I'm 18.
I have no idea what to do, and ending it seems like the only way out. I've always been the disappointment, and everyone knows that I am the piece of shit in the family. They find a way to blame everything on me (my dad even blamed trumps issues on me), and I have no idea what to do.
help
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Just what I would do: say fuck everyone, get a degree off of student loans, get a good paying job with room for growth, and never look back. Suicide would make them think they were right.
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>>17733401
I can't get there, though. I got my back fucked up because a girl hired some people to kick the shit out of me. I also have no more motivation to even get out of bed, because I'm usually in pain or getting yelled at by my father, who is now charging me 400$ a month in rent.
TL;DR: Can't go anywhere, because public transport fucking sucks.
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>>17733401
This isnt possible anymore. You have about a 40% chance to actually land a job that makes the degree worth it.
So, /adv/, I need some advice on something.
So I'm in voice chat with friends, playin some chill video games. It's just me, my male friend, and a girl, but she's trans (don't know if it's worth mentioning that). Another male friend left some time ago. So it's just the three of us. So my friend makes this noise with some scissors, and girl is like "whoa how are you making that noise". Friend is like "it's a secret". Girl shuts up. A little while later she's like "no, really, how'd you make that noise". Seeing the opportunity to troll, he says "haha I said it's a secret". Silence from the girl. After a bit, she gets bitchy and is like "you need to tell me how you made that noise." Dead seriousness in her voice. So, my friend is like, "no, I'm not gonna say". She was being so bitchy that I seriously don't blame him. Then she gets super fucking triggered and winces, saying "owwwwwwww" out loud and starts breathing heavy. It sounded pretty fake. We ignored this charade then she's like "okay I'm leaving guys. bye."
Funny thing is, she pulls these kinds of stunts all the time. We were making jokes about "fucking normies REEEEEEE" and when my friend (same one) did his best autism shriek, she did the same wince and said, "I... gotta go, guys."
Also, whenever we play games, she gets super pissy when we talk about sharing items. For example, once she had five of the same item sets in an MMO we were playing (yes, FIVE!) and I asked if she'd trade me one, and I'd reimburse her with market value, and she was like "well... no". I said "I'll throw in some other items too if you want. But if you don't want to that's ok." She's like, "Alright, I'll do it i guess."
>Mentions the armor set at least once a goddamn week and never has let it go. "Hope you're enjoying that item set." and "How's that armor set I gave you? I really wanted it you know"
(1/2)
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>>17733384
Now, to be frank, this person is really fucked up. They have a plethora of mental problems, probably stemming from gender dysphoria. We all bend over backwards for this person. Just one day, she decided she was a woman and we had to start calling her a new made-up name and whenever we didn't use the right pronoun she'd be like "oh god it hurts" and "pronouns, guys...." . She's so overly feminine that it seems unreal. She dresses up like someone from the fucking Victorian era (lolita, yes, I know it's a thing) and can't even wear a button-up shirt without literally breaking down and crying. It cost them their job. News flash, even normal women dress up in business wear when they go to work. You can't show up to your Kroger job dressed like the Queen of Japan or some shit. All they do is watch anime and play video games. No other hobbies. It's insane how much time they've spent wasting their life away, not even having gotten their driver's license at 19. I would love to help, but they act so entitled, like that the world owes them the right to tell everyone to listen to them, in gender matters or even something as small as the MOBA we play(constantly flames teammates and feeds if someone makes a valid point).
So, basically what I'm asking is, should I ditch this person? Frankly, they're more trouble than they're worth. She is enemies with all of my other friends, except the one mentioned above, and guilts us into playing with her even though we want to play with other people. We have pandered to her for years, and this incident was the last straw. My only reservation is that I wouldn't doubt that they may try to commit suicide. They're really fucked. Anxiety, dysphoria, OCD (actual OCD, where you hear voices and think everyone's trying to kill you and shit). I feel like we're the only reason she's still around.
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>>17733384
>Queen of Japan
Top kek
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>actual OCD, where you hear voices and think everyone's trying to kill you and shit
http://ocdfreedom.com/complete-ocd-primer/
"OCD sufferers often engage in internal dialogue that they fear may be the start of schizophrenia. Unless you are actually hearing voices from an external source (ie. as if someone is actually talking to you), you don’t have this condition."
If she's actually hearing voices as if somebody was talking into her ear I don't think that's OCD man
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Pic unrelated.
Not sure if this is the right place to ask something like this, but I've been in a dilemma for months now.
I can't decide on if I should join the military or not. I'm definitely physically capable but for a long time I planned on getting a computer science degree but now I don't know if that's the type of thing I want to do with my life.
Anyone have any advice? especially if you've been in the military
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>>17733356
Go for the degree if you cant find a job, then go military, but military can be kinda shit unless you are into that kind of lifestyle
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military will usually pay for your degree. better hope trump doesn't get in tho
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Personally I wish I had done the military route out of highschool. I didn't because the iraq war was in full swing and I was very against it, but I could have gone Navy or something. I ended up going to college because that's what smart people are supposed to do even though I had no idea what I wanted out of life. Ended up getting depression and dropping out. I tried to join the military when I was 25 but got rejected for health reasons. I've been able to make something of myself since then but it's been harder than it needed to be.
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Got approved for a credit card, my score sucks ass and I want to fix it. How do I maximize raising my score?
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>>17733299
if you just want to raise the credit number with no goal, then just pay your bills with the card, and pay it off every month.
don't get sucked into the trap of actuallly buying something
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Make purchases you actually have the money for. The occasional "oh my paycheck is next week" is okay but don't do big purchases, use fucking sense.
Pay your monthly bills and Netflix, Spotify, whatever on it
Pay them off on time.
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>>17733312
>>17733319
Should I let interest compound once before paying off?