Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3424. page

Depends on what your goal is. How's your mentality these days?

>>17743402
>>17743402
I want to focus on improving my overall state of being especially my confidence

Mentality has been rocking all over the place recently...

>>17743413
Go and talk to a clinical therapist senpai.
Self help is a sham.

I can't offer you any advice, though what I can offer you is a sympathetic bump since I am in the exact same boat.

Don't plan too far ahead, and if you have to, just keep it vague.
Be ready for something to go wrong and to understand that it's part of being human.
If something isn't that urgent, leave it for another time. If it all really is that overwhelming, it'd be okay to just barely get by for a while.
Find things you like to do and make time to do them. Listen to calm music, lo-fi is a good start.
Imagine to yourself that you can always just become a nomad, just living out of a backpack and living life with every footstep.
Feel like it all seems like too much effort for too little? Get someone who's in the same situation as you.
You've got all the time in the world and no one has the right to rush you.

If you feel you have too much to do just start at the beginning and do as much as you can. Freaking about it won't help get shit done.

bronchiolitis obliteraans

On the objective scale of comparisons, way the fuck safer.
On the practical scale, weed is still safer than vaping and is going to cause health problems. Just less severe ones than cigarretes. Still bad though. Popcorn lung.

>>17743349
>weed
>safe
>actually imblyign

If you're the type asking for advice about this maybe roommates aren't a good idea, it may sound appealing now but never underestimate peace and quiet, free from anxiety and annoyance.

>>17743304
Unless you know roommates very well, it can be a fucking disaster and you will want to kill yourself. It's a jungle out there

>>17743304
Good luck apartments where i live you he too get a landlord too fix everything you cant just fix it

>>17743262
I'm bisexual and have been in a monogamous six year relationship with a straight man.

I don't know how most bisexual girls view commitment. A lot of my friends are bisexual, and mostly like me in the sense that they are monogamous with whoever they are committed to (male or female). There are some that don't see hooking up with a girl as not cheating and do invite women to the bedroom. I'm personally against that though.

While I find women attractive, I brush off any man or woman that flirts with me. That's just out of commitment to my relationship. Comes naturally because I love my boyfriend and I can see myself being with him for the rest of my life, even if that means not having sex with a girl again.
On a scale, I suppose I consider myself slightly leaning towards the straight side. It's not always half and half. Basically, I can't see myself marrying or being deeply in love with women. I'm attracted to them sexually, but every woman I've been with has not been as emotionally supportive as men are. With women, I don't see a future. With men, I am sexually attracted to them, and see the much more long term relationships with them. Men, I seek commitment, dating, sex, long term love. Women, it's a temporary lustful infatuation.

>>17743262
>Do bisexual girls ever date straight men monogamously?
No, literally never.
t. someone who has been married to a bisexual woman for five years

>How do I compete with men AND women when vying for a bisexual girls attention, love and commitment?
Same way you compete with men -- be really cool and fun and desirable? Don't overthink this, man. There are a lot of bisexual girls out there, and despite the stereotypes, they're no less inclined to monogamy and no more prone to cheat than straight girls (I can't speak to the attitudes that may or may not be prevalent in any given LGBT+ subculture, but there's way more bi girls out there than just the ones who're involved in that stuff.)

It helps to set boundaries early on.
If you're constantly talking about how hot it is that she's been with girls, don't be surprised if she takes that as an invitation to keep girls on the side.

This bitch has been here for 2 weeks and has come up with all this bullshit.
The kicker is that this lady comes into the office for 2 hours a day max and leaves afterward but the boss gave her smart phone access to the cameras so she can check up on us.
As a senior paralegal I have told my attorney about how I feel about these rule changes and he agrees and he himself has spoken to the head attorney about this shit and his response is "I know, but we have to do what we have to do". I'm seriously thinking about resigning my position. How do I deal with this shit?

I assume you're not the only one who's butthurt about it. Make a detailed complaint about her, get everyone you can to sign it and show it to all her superiors and then to her.

Be sure to mention that some of you (the people who signed) are considering resigning because of her.

>>17743181
You are now the victim of a hostile work environment. See an attorney.

If you really felt bad about it you wouldn't do it. You're a piece of shit by the way. Imagine if one of those girls was your mom 25 years ago.

You need confidence in yourself first, also learn that not having control is ok. If you do this it's obviously because you want control over things but all the things that really matters in life are things you can't control.

>>17743176
If you feel bad about it you're not a sociopath. You're probably a narcissist.

Also, this thread is incredibly boring and not worth anyone's time.

Damn you are a member at a Jiu Jitsu club? I'm really jealous actually. What are average lessons like?

I can't convince you the first step is always the hardest and it has to come from you

Whatever i might say I don't think that will make any kind of difference

This is your fight anon

A wise man once said "JUST DO IT".
And then it became a meme but what he wanted to say is that you NEED to do the things you want to do in your life NOW. Otherwise you will never do anything.
JUST DO IT BRO THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO EXCEPT BEING A SIMPLE MINDED PIECE OF SHIT AND THAT AIN'T YOU

You are NOT going to get away free. There are still fees (though at worst they should be around $900 annually at a public uni), and not to rain on your parade but it is hard to immigrate to Iceland.

Also Iceland is not for poor students, uni may be pretty cheap but living there really is not.

However if you are from the schengen or even better, from the nordic countries it shouldn't be too hard getting there. Though finding a job is still not an easy feat unless you know the language and or have certain skills.

>>17743321
Gotcha, will take this advice into consideration.
Thanks.

Oh yeah and it's probably only selfies of me at home since i;m not really the goign out type. So making pictures with friends at a party is not possible. So how do I take good selfies?

>>17743118
>tinder ugly tax

That's hilarious. I bet you're a funny dude. And I guarantee you that you're not as ugly as you think. You hear it constantly but getting women is mostly about confidence. Take my friend for example. He's not the ugliest dude in the world but he just lacks confidence. You can see it in his body language. Watch some confidence videos on YouTube, those will help a lot. And just generally hang around people a lot more. Not just women. You can practice talking to women by talking to men. Just talk to women the same way you would talk to men. Don't treat them any differently

>>17743145
thank you for your reply

im just not the 'just hang out more' type. i do have a small selection of friends but i absolutely hate going to parties and clubbing etc. But I hate being alone and unloved too which makes it even more difficult.

Any advice on how to take good selfies of myself at home though?

thanks

>I am so very tired, and I have no motivation to do anything.

Doing things even if you're not motivated to do them is what will get you out of your rut. If we only ever did things when we were motivated we wouldn't get anywhere in most days. Make a list of things you that need to be done and start knocking them off. You're too busy looking at the bigger picture. You probably have a pile of stuff to do in order to make you happy. Knock one things off today, then another tomorrow etc

File: michael.gif (2MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 480x270px

>>17743105
It's not like I am just sitting on my laurels.
I am going to school, running errands etc. It is simply that I am losing the inner fight against my depression. Constantly trying to keep out the negative thoughts and emotions, the stress and anxiety about the future, and my crippling loneliness, are all eating away at my energy. The temptation to just give in, and stop fighting, give up, and fall back into that pit of despair grows stronger every day.

Because nothing fucking matters. My life is utterly worthless, and I am a burden on others. I want to fucking die so bad, but at the same time, I don't want to cause pain to my family.

>>17743122
>the stress and anxiety about the future, and my crippling loneliness, are all eating away at my energy.

Those are things that can be fixed with some effort. There are steps you can take to fix both of these things

Either tell him you're not comfortable meeting him in person. Maybe make a compromise over Skype. Or meet up with him at a cafe in the nearest city.

>>17743109
thanks, I think I'll tell him that. I'll unblock him on skype and see what happens

This is why you shouldn't have pussy footed around and told him straight up that you weren't comfortable meeting someone from the Internet in real life. Now not only did you hurt his feelings anyways, but he also wasted his money too.

I would apologize and give him a free drawing or two.

Sounds to me like she's interested, but it's impossible to tell with certainty what she's thinking from that information alone. It doesn't matter much, if you want something serious just go for it. If she's on board you'll just speed things up, if she's not you'll just find out sooner so you can look for someone else.

If I were in your shoes OP, I'd roll with her for the sake of getting interaction experience with a female. Then find another girl and try getting girl advice from her and see what she does.

>>17743126
Interesting strategy. My only problem is I know virtually no one where I live (Transferred here a few months ago) so that cuts down on my opportunity to meet another female.

>>17743033
Again this week huh. One day last week you had two threads going concurrent. Your begging worked so we all know you are going back with her.

>>17743043
I don't think my begging did work though. I mean I only done it to show her how much she means to me. I thought because she's only had bad experiences in the past, and doesn't have a relationship with her dad, and having low self esteem, that I was doing the right thing. But she just seemed to have her guard up and say things like how she's moved on, she don't like me no more she will never get back with me, just talking to me like another person. But maybe I did do things right, I just needed to give her space to make her realise that which is what I've done and still doing.

It's just right now, her sister is trying to knock sense into her lol.

>>17743033

Terrible sign OP, if she herself can't come to the conclusion to be with you then you shouldn't get back together. Her sister manipulating her or convincing her to give it another shot won't last very long. She didn't break up with you out of impulse, there was a definite reason there whether she chose to share it or not. I think if you want this to work with her it has to be her decision and she has to be willing to put in 110% and not just be doing it because she was convinced by you or her sister.

(2/2) I'm trying to see all this from her perspective but it's really hard to understand. Just yesterday she slept over, we came home at about 4am, watched a movie in bed and went to sleep. She covered herself up with a blanket and I had this big featherbed of mine on me. I stayed on my side of bed, she stayed on hers. Shit is devastating when you are so close to someone you love, yet so far away you can't even reach her. We woke up at about 11am, I rolled a joint from leftover weed from the last night. We stayed in bed, I hugged her and she cuddled up to me. We stayed in bed the whole day, sleeping, hugging. She doesn't seem to mind when I hug her, but I don't know if she's feeling comfortable. I don't seek for this kind of contact, but I can't just be in bed with her without being close to her.

I don't know what to do. She is like heroin, she gives me the best feelings in the whole world, pure ecstasy when I'm with her, at the same time she is killing me. I was trying to think of her just as a friend but it's just impossible. I've been even sleeping with other girls lately but all I could think about was her.

She's a lesbo, she's not gonna change her sexuality for you my man.

>>17743108
This.
Some people are very big into cuddling / physical contact but not the sexuality / romantic closeness.
Don't ruin a friendship by trying to force her to be someone she is not.
Don't pressure her to see it your way, you can talk to her about it but if you make it accusatory or trying to place fault on her for being honest with you, you are only going to lose your best friend.