Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3412. page

...halp?

The sign is that she asks you to come visit her at home, or she agrees to visit you at your home. Although women aren't as slobberingly desperate for sex, they still enjoy it and seek it out. The key is to be respectful and don't say stupid mood-killing shit like "hey bby u want sum fuk?"

>how much time
No. Stop that. It doesn't matter. She either drops some signs for you or she doesn't. There's no magical waiting period where she's significantly more likely to say "yes."

>>17747585
how do i get her to ask that tho? I feel like we have a stable, yet ultimately shallow connection. should I, you know, at some point ask her some deeper shit like "what are your dreams" "how do you feel about trump winning the elections" and stuff or should I just keep doing stuff that subtly implies "I don't care about you actually, I just wanna have some fun"?
also met her through facebook, asking her directly to her house seems like coming in a bit too strong lel. dont ya think m8?

>>17747034
that really sucks to hear. it's OK if you don't want to do collage right now, I've dropped out 3 times and somehow I'm still alright. psychiatric wards are very scary places though, and in some cases, based on the people you're surrounded with, can do more worse than good.

My thoughts are with you anon. Things get better, but if you feel like you need to withdraw for a bit you might be right. Just keep your focus on getting better and whatever that may entail. Bad memories/your current situation/feelings about family or friends or things you've done that you're not proud of. Things can be resolved and things can get better. The road to feeling happy can be hard but if you want it to happen then you've already started the process.

Praying for you, bud. If you need help don't feel bad about asking for it, there are a lot of people out there willing and able to help.

>>17746999
>Is not seeing eye-to-eye a real reason to stop being friends with someone?
It depends on what you don't see eye-to-eye on. Could you elaborate?

>Surely this is just trimming your network to be full of like minded people who won't ever challenge your views or make you think?
It could be, but without knowing more I can't say for sure.

>>17747139
He didn't say what we don't see eye to eye on, and I didn't ask. He just said these past few months I've changed as a person, and he can't be friends with me anymore.

It's interesting to me because he's been acting really strange within our circle recently, and our other best friend pointed this out to me a few months ago, specifically saying he's changed.

>>17746999
>Is not seeing eye-to-eye a real reason to stop being friends with someone?
Well, it's helpful to have SOMETHING similar with your friends but there is no need to agree on everything or even most stuff.

Basically I could never befriend some faggot gaymer who doesn't do anything but gayming in his basement and only talks about vidya but got friends I respect who got a very different outlook on life I don't agree with and completely different goals too.

>He just said these past few months I've changed as a person, and he can't be friends with me anymore.
Unless you did something horrible, he sounds like a faggot.

Move or use a datingsite, jesus it aint that hard

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>>17746939
I did no results found feels bad man.

>>17746928
Bible belt is virtually devoid of asians, better off moving north or west.
>>17747620
Also okc lets you search in a really wide range and change your city. Use those tools to find populations. You could also consider long distance with this, but that's your choice.

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>>17746752
first

study advice please in desperate need for it

I think I'm going to join the military. I'm really not that into war though.

>>17746697
contd.

Maybe I'm going paranoid, but I think I've fallen for her and I think this is over. I've decided to give her time and I don't want to bombard her with texts and seem desperate. But either way, I can't shake this feeling that she just used me. I'm in my late 20's, I'm fairly good looking and successful, but extremely shy and I have trouble opening up to people. I felt like I had a real connection with this girl and that I could trust her, but now I'm starting to feel that I just got used.

Am I overthinking this? I have no idea how relationships work, so I don't know if it's something I did, if she needs more time or if I was just her fucktoy for a few nights. What do I do next? I really liked this girl and she had raised my hopes for something more.

>>17746697
The only thing you can do is wait for her to respond at this point unfortunately.

aw man dude, you can only wait and see. But i believe you're so hooked on her instantly bcause you're kind desperate. Go out and date a few more girls dude

Try to find a situation where you both have to talk again or are in the near vicinity. Play it cool and be friendly(to test the waters). If at the time she wasnt ready for something she may have a) gotten over it through time b) gotten back with the guy she was into or (lets hope its not this option) c) trying to find an excuse to blow you off and not have to keep seeing you. Thtas why you have to test the waters and be careful. Be a friend and see where it can take you, but never lose the illusion that you are an object of covet and desire too. You also have standards and you also have options. If you get her, good. If you dont, meh what does it matter. There are more fishes in the sea.

>>17746603
thanks for the tips, and it's pretty much what I'd planned on doing; find some situation where I'll bump into her and then chat with her very relaxed and cool and seem a bit unattainable and get her to chase a bit

that being said
>There are more fishes in the sea
I thought this too and I've been meeting girls every weekend since august, as I mentioned slept with three of them, even went on a second date with one of those, but I'm still crushing just as hard on this original girl. Honestly I wish I could just meet someone else and start from scratch but fuck no one so far has even come close

>>17746585
If you could fuck three girls since you're already over it

>>17746537
Texting should be exactly like speaking. If they know you in person that's bonus points because they can fill in the blanks with your personality.

>>17746537
Bump

i have the same problem. I can talk to girls irl but i'm terrified of having to message one. i think part of it is that you don't have to respond instantly and its harder to show emotions. i know this isnt any help im sorry

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>>17745267
I hear parts of Malmo are really friendly and diverse

Lots of expats

You're right that you need the euro passport. Make sure to actually have it. Otherwise you can only stay 3 months.

>>17745379
Yeah, I have some Italian heritage so I'm looking into taking advantage of the citizenship opportunity they offer for descendants of Italian citizens

>>17745264


I took a computer repair course in college and my grades were sub-par. What should I do? Should I change careers?


That is what your statement should look like if you are at a college level. I don't know what to tell you.

>>17745264
Why did you do badly? Because you didn't understand the material or because you didn't put in the effort?

>>17745624
i tried my hardest. i even studied

Manipulating them to do what?

>>17743473
I've encountered countless people who've tried to manipulate me or claim to be a sociopath. It all catches up to then eventually, and damn does it feel good. The key to not being manipulated is to not give the person the perception that you can be manipulated. I want to bitch slap your dumb ass, but life will do that to you if you continue down this road.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Worked for Charles Manson

>>17742615
>31
>virgin
Tell her that she isnt getting any younger and that she is basically spoiling a beautiful experience for some unknown reason.

Do you know why she wants to wait?

OP here. Please be gentle everyone, I know it's strange to be virgins at 31, but we're both neither ugly nor crazy.

When I asked her for reasons, she gave me two. One was that she's irrationally afraid of getting pregnant (which I don't want her to be either) and the other is that she thinks it's going to hurt.

>>17742615
Bruh how are you even a virgin at that age. You both are old enough, the time is now. I think you should just tell her, she might feel a bit better and open up.

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Frustration probably. I don't post the type of things you mentioned, but I also recently had limpdick ruin my chance to lose my virginity for the third time in a row. I'd imagine that if you keep taking failures like that, eventually you're going to become jaded and cynical. I would be lying if I said I didn't believe that it will eventually happen to me if I don't get it right after X amount of times.

>>17740350
It all makes sense when you think most people here, myself included, have been outcasts since probably early childhood.

Since then it's a slippery slope as you associate socializing with bad feelings, and you're bad at it because you don't do it etc etc

t. Currently working on it w/ a therapist

Because we've all been seriously hurt by women and it's made us bitter and hateful.

You think I want to feel like this? All i fucking want is a girl to hold in my arms to make me feel alive again. I've done almost everything I can to get a girlfriend, worked out, lost weight, gained weight, dressed different, you fucking name it. But after all failure and no success it eats at me because I can't ignore the idea of having a girlfriend. Im so fucking lonely, but no one gives me a chance, and unfortunately there arent many girls that feel the same and are interested in people that have my view. It comes off as "desperate" and "creepy". God forbid I admit as a guy that I feel empty because I have never had a girl ever say i love you, or kissed one, or anything.

If you were in my shoes you'd fucking hate women and think that way too, but I still try when i go out to meet girls to no avail, because being lonely is killing me.

>I don't have a question
was machst du anon

>>17747516

>>But it's also possible that she lied to me about not wanting to be in a relationship or involved with another person.

No she didn't - holding hands and cuddling and making out and spooning and even sucking cock/fucking don't equal "relationship" or "being involved" with someone. She's telling you that she doesn't want to date/be exclusive with you. That could mean that she doesn't want to mess with boys period or it could mean that she just wants to mess around.

>>17747531
Well she told me there was no one else period. That's where it becomes a lie.

Even if you're morally okay with pot/tobacco, keep in mind that that shit smells horrible and it'll get on everything you own, regardless of where your stuff is in relation to your roommate.

you will likely not have a good roommate if they are randoms. if you have friends that can do this with you, much better, but even then it can be hard to live with people.

don't let your roommate get away with shit that you both agreed on not doing. if somebody disregards an agreement you've had (even if only verbal), make sure they know you are paying attention and are not happy about it.

>>17747318
I've been thinking about this. I myself don't smoke pot or have anything against it, but if I were to live with someone, I think I'd prefer they not smoke it around me. It smells horrible.

>>17747324
Unfortunately, no friends. Everyone around here is mostly a young professionals.