Hey guys. Is it normal to form an unusually strong attachment to someone you developed a romantic interest in while going through a time of fear and depression? I met a girl the other night and I was feeling like total shit, but I took care of her for a night, we talked a lot and eventually had sex. She left today and I feel abnormally sad. Miss her more than I feel I should. What's going on?
>>17756377
It sounds like you weren't in your right state of mind, she was there and you fucked her. Nothing else really, you should see how you feel when your not fearing or depressed.
I'm not sure if it is normal or not, but it happens. In weird situations, too.
about 10 years ago, ended up in a psych ward after indulging in too much alcohol and doing some stupid stuff and just basically being in a bad state of mind after nephew was killed in Iraq.
there for 3 weeks and developed a bond with one of the overnight nurses. shared stories and talked about stuff all night when she worked. figured out we had some stuff in common and exchanged numbers on the down low.
One night, we were a team together for monopoly against some older fellows. The old black guy starts asking us if we liked each other because we kept giving each other looks and stuff. He tells us "I know that you two are soulmates by the way you look at each other."
We were like "haha..yeah, whatever".
We keep talking at night, and I eventually get signed out. We text each other and stay in touch. Meet up a few weeks later after, instant attraction on the outside. I live in a town up the road like 100 miles away and we always meet halfway and go do outdoor stuff. Feels like we've always been together. She totally gets me out of my rut after nephew died. When we were together, it was amazing. Good conversation, really connected on all levels including sex.
She got an opportunity to move across country and took it. haven't talked for a long time, but wow, what a great thing to come out of such a messed up situation.
It sucks man, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same. I don't know if it's better to keep hooking up with her and trying or to just let go
Wether I'm walking the dog, watching netflix or out partying, I can't help but think about how things would be if my ex was with me. How do I stop doing that?
Help
>>17756316
How long ago was the breakup? It should get better after some time.
>>17756612
Like over a year. Fuuck.
A girl I'm going out with is asking that we become exclusive. I'm really torn here.
>Pro
She is very clever and adult, not only in simple intelligence but in the way she handles the relationship. She is always very calm and can always look very objectively at the relationship so we can have a calm discussion about what we should do. We also have a lot of common interests and have a lot to talk about, I feel a real connection there which is really rare. She's also very caring, always having nice attentions or bringing thoughtful little gifts.
>Con
I didn't have that instant "crush" feeling I had with past long-term partners. It might be because I don't really desire her physically. She is rather fat (but trying to lose), and sex is good, but nothing special. It might also be because it seems like she has a different way of living (going out more, travelling to random uninteresting places for fun, ...). This reminds me of a bad past relationship, but maybe I'm just imagining things. She also is not in the best state mentally-wise since she has had a very troubled childhood, and has done not so great things before me but she seems to have it in control and laughs about it.
What should I do /adv/? On one hand I feel like there might really be something. On the other hand I don't feel the same doubtless desire I had in the past, but this might just be the lack of physical attraction which I should overlook.
I don't think you should overlook the aspect of physical attraction. It's not fair to her and not fair to you.
>>17756314
Doesn't it fade anyway?
>>17756358
No, not at all. When you are really attracted to someone you are attracted to more than their most superficial looks. It's in the way they move and walk, the way their face scrunches up when they laugh really hard, the noises they make during sex, the line of their neck or down their back. It is much deeper and more resilient than having a dollface or a perfect trim body. It's about loving and being drawn to the physical presence of someone you adore, relishing in the change that comes over them when they are in the heat of sexual enjoyment, how they look at you, how they touch you.
Hey /adv/, how do i have sex with girls with no place to stay, i cant bang chicks at home cuz a lot of family members, so my question is where should i do it?
Their house
Car
Hotel
get a house first fucking kid
>>17756279
Park lot staircase
Public handicap bathroom
Forest
>just started online dating
>all these girls profiles with "if you aren't a b c d x y z all at once, then don't message me"
Was this a mistake? How come so many girls have this shit? It just makes them seem like enormous cunts with out of this world standards.
I'm not the most attractive guy ever (been rated 7/10, a few 8/10s), but I've dated my fair share of hot girls. But these fucking 5/10s on these dating apps have insane standards.
Should I even bother? I'm starting to understand why I hear so many dudes say its a waste of time. Any tips in general?
>It just makes them seem like enormous cunts with out of this world standards.
Because they probably are, people are allowed to have standards but a lot of us forget that we're nothing special ourselves, especially in a world where females are put on pedestals (outside of islam and saudi arabia)
Just move past them and look for someone else.
On the other hand, we're used to guys completely ignoring our profiles and message us for hookups and getting pissy when we dont respond to a message at 4am, turning into stage 5 clingers after just saying hello.
It might be to try and get those guys to fuck off, but i don't put ridiculous standards on my page so i dunno
>>17756217
Just stop being a bitch and caring about all that shit. If you like somebody based on their profile, throw a message at them.
Also pretty curious as what you call "out of this world standards". I have yet to meet a women with somewhat high standards, that shit is a turn on. People who go for scraps are desperate losers.
>>17756254
I don't like someone if they put cuntish shit on their profile, period. Which is why I didn't message of any of them. I was simply baffled at how many of them are bordering on being straight fucking ugly, and then essentially putting "if you aren't god, don't message me" on their profile.
Like this one land whale had "If you're thinking of messaging me, don't. Unless you're 6'2'', have blue eyes, and are fit." But she herself was 5'1'' and pushing probably 220 lbs. Some of them are so ridiculous like the one I just described, that I can't tell if they are being serious or not, since I've never attempted online dating.
>>17756248
Well, I don't get pissy about anything, at all. Especially not about a girl not hitting me back, and I'm certainly not virgin enough to be clingy.
But I'll experiment a bit and hit some of these women up regardless and see what happens, but I'll most likely just move past them like you said.
Am i manipulative?
I often alter my speech when speaking to others to get them to like me more.
example.
>texting friend
>about to send message saying:
>hey i dyed my hair
>changed it to:
>hey i really wanted to tell you i dyed my hair
I think letting them think i was thinking about them boosts their self esteem. The boosted self esteem reflects their positive thoughts to myself. Plus i guess i want them to feel good too.
another example:
>texting different friend
>he send me selfie asking if hair is too long
>about to send
>nah its fine
>change it to
>i think you look nice the way it is
I often bring up topics people have to told me so they feel as though i care about them, which i do.
example
>talking to friend
>"oh yeah i remember you told me something how was it"
>or
>"did you do the thing you talked about"
I do a lot of things to try to get people to like me but I actually do want them to feel good too.
sorry if im being confusing. thank you for your time.
Everyone pretty much does this, it's just basic social skills. You're just overthinking it. You're not outright lying, you're not trying to trick them into doing things for you, you're just being considerate of their feelings. Doesn't really sound manipulative to me
you polite little normie
>>17756224
this
My friend and the only girl i've had a connection with and borderlined loved over the years potentially got a boyfriend. It kills me inside and I have no idea how to move on. She hit so many if not all the things i'd want in a girl and I missed my chance
>>17756208
bump
>>17756208
grow up and/or some balls
>>17756257
Kinda hard to just grow up on this fact. Idk why it just hurts alot thinking that she's just left me in the dust becuase I wasn't good enough to make her stay
Cute girl kept smiling at me every time she saw me. I thought she must like me because she kept sitting near to me and glancing at me. If we made eye contact she would smile.
I'm 19, she's 17
After a couple weeks I developed a crush on her
I waited till I next saw her then I got her number, that was on Thursday.
She smiled at me and sat near me like she always did so I started a conversation and got her number.
Now my feelings have got quite strong for her :(
Texted her today for the first time. we texted for about an hour then she stopped. I've just waited by my phone for the last 5 hours hoping I get another text...
I hope she hasnt lost interest or something
It hurts my heart really bad. I get the worst crushes that last for months, sometimes years. But I've never had a girlfriend.
I want to buy her flowers but I dont know where she lives. I know where her bus stop is because thats how i met her. The only way I can do it is by buying flowers then waiting for her all day at the bus stop and hope i see her to give them her when she gets off. I dont know what time it would be or even day.
Does this sound weird or stalkerish? because im not stalking her and I dont want to creep her out.
I just really like this girl
>>17756187
that sounds stalkerish. If she doesn't message you back shes either busy, finds you boring, or is riding chad.
>>17756225
dont ever fucking bait me like that again
>>17756187
Hey, OP. I'm surprised that you're 19, I've met 14-year-olds with more inner strength. I'll redpill you--you'll thank me once you're not a pussy. OP, the following may sound really harsh but it's true and your denial of the truth is why you're always going to be a heartbroken little boy. The truth will set you free.
Okay let's start.
> She smiled at me and sat near me like she always did so I started a conversation and got her number.
This is actually very alpha. Nice.
> Now my feelings have got quite strong for her :(
Aaaannnnnnddd here we go. What this sentence tells me is that a pretty girl can give you a sliver of attention and turn you into putty. This is why I brought up inner strength: you're lacking it. If you allow your feelings to rise and fall like a sin wave based on small changes in body language from a girl YOU DON'T KNOW (I mean, like, really KNOW), you essentially have no control over your emotions. Like, none. There is no such thing as a soul mate, this woman won't be the "one who got away," these are all fantasies used to sell women romance novels.
> Texted her today for the first time. we texted for about an hour then she stopped.
Because she realized, by actually speaking to you, you have zero inner confidence and can easily be manipulated. Basically, the deal breaker: the most unattractive quality you can have as a male. If you post your text convo I'll help you break down further why you talk like a needy cuck.
> I've just waited by my phone for the last 5 hours hoping I get another text...
Jesus christ man.
> It hurts my heart really bad. I get the worst crushes that last for months, sometimes years. But I've never had a girlfriend.
See above.
My girlfriend basically dumped me because I went on about her feet too much and she got sick of it haha. It's been like 3 days of me not contacting her, although she's trying to message me and get my attention. Her sister snapchatted me showing me though, she still uses the moisturizer I bought her...for her feet? wtf
People are stupid. Can't tell with certainty what she's thinking, but my guess is that she broke up with you on an impulse and now she regrets it but she's too proud to admit it so she's trying to make you take the first step towards reconciling.
>>17756130
>why are girls so weird?
>I went on about her feet too much
>>17756139
Yeah its been a few weeks since break up and we've only argued back and forth since then, she got in a rebound that lasted 2 days (they didn't even do anything) shit just gotten worse, but I figured fuck it I'll ignore her for a while because she's being a bit dramatic.
>>17756143
Hey man she said she was cool with it. Sent me like 30 pics. But I do admit I went on about them too much.
Ok /adv/, I have been with my girlfriend almost 2 months and today at the cinema she´s letting me pick between grabbing/touching her boobs or her butt (She actually said that she was letting grab her "something" so it could be another "interesting" part of her body) So /adv/, what should I pick/grab/touch?
Oxygen or Water?
C'mon man, you know what to do. There's a third option. Be a star.
>>17756111
Technically wáter has oxygen so........wáter
(In this case, what does wáter mean?)
I googled around, and haven't been able to find an answer.
I'm trying to figure out how to account for calories "ingested" by things that I might use as part of anal play. For example, a few days ago I used two sticks of butter as toys/lube, and while most of it worked its way out, that's like 1600 calories that I don't want.
How do I figure out how much of that 1600 actually made it's way into my diet? I don't want to put on weight, so I need to account for it in my diet and workouts.
Thanks.
Well, I assume the sticks of butter didn't went that far into your ass, so most of it wasn't really absorbed by your body.
>>17756076
How far is too far?
>>17756092
Well, 40, 50 cm would be pretty far, I don't know how this translates to imperial.
Did you notice if you shat any butter soon after the fact? Or was it all diluted into shit? You didn't melt the butter before hand right? Because that would really increase how much you absorbed.
I ordered furniture online. The forwarding agency delivered it today. Now I see that my furniture has a dent in it. It must have happened during transport to my house. The problem is I already signed that I received the package. This relieves the forwarding service from any warranty duties since I should have Seen the dent in the package.
Should I just call the manufacturer and tell them I have a dent in my furniture, but the package looked fine so it must have happened in their facility?
>>17756015
If the packaging was fine, then there was no way you were supposed to know that there was a dent in it without opening it, and it's not reasonable to expect you to open it and make sure everything's okay before you sign so no, it doesn't relieve the delivery company from its obligations.
>>17756027
There WAS a hole in the packaging, I just didnt see it. I didnt examine the package and just signed that I received it. Now I want to know if it's a good idea to act like the package was fine and 'blame it on the manufacturer.'
>>17756045
I suggest you contact the company you bought it from and then work your way from there
I have a 10 page research paper due Thursday. I was assigned it since like September but I've been slacking the whole time. The formatting is like 10 point times new roman, and two columns per page, which only increases the effort to write this damn thing. How do I go about doing this? Also how do I find good references? I only have a book right now and I need 6 more
>>17755953
pay an asian to write it for you.
>>17755953
>How do I go about doing this?
How the fuck are we supposed to know? You haven't told us anything about the subject
>Also how do I find good references? I only have a book right now and I need 6 more
If this is seriously where you're at right now, you're not cut out for academia
>>17755959
>subject
It's pretty broad. It's just about an enginner or an invention and how it has affected the world over the last 100 years. I picked Tesla because why the fuck not, it's an easy subject, but I don't know how I'm supposed to stretch this shit out over 10 pages with that formatting added in.
>you're not cut out for academia
No kidding, but it looks like I'm just another retarded freshman because everyone else I've asked has like 3 references and 2 pages done.
The book has a ton of refrences in the chapter for Tesla. Should I just snatch those?
I'm with a great girl. Educated, sexy accent, attractive, and a nice surprise: an absolute tiger in bed.
She is deeply religious though. She won't waste her time with a non Catholic. I was raised Catholic, but for all intents and purposes am an atheist. I bent the truth and told her that I am open to raising a Catholic family (its gotten serious by now). I really don't feel the religious fervor in my heart in church, even with her encouragement and an open mind.
The other problem is that I changed my plans for her. She does not like me fighting (I do muay Thai and kickboxing) and wanted to spend a year in Holland and Thailand each, which took years of living frugally and discipline in the arts. I am getting old but this would be my last chance to do this.
Tl;dr do I change/fake it and marry a Catholic girl OR live my dreams. Its not both.
>lies
>panics when things go too far
You deserve this
>>17755940
When we met, I had discussions with her on religion. She knows my opinions on this. Were together because I agreed to try. In trying, doesn't work. She said she's in love with me, vice versa. I didn't think it such a big deal...
>>17755954
If she's as serious about her religion as you've said, then she's going to want a Catholic wedding, and to raise your kids Catholic, potentially sending them to a Catholic school. Is this okay with you?
I'm at my sisters wedding and I'm obviously the odd one sitting alone not very talkitave. Some of the girls are nice but others have given me a disdain look.(pic related) any ideas on how to improve my situation?
No one, girls or otherwise, want to talk to a guy who sits in the corner and talks to no one. Why in the world aren't you talking to your relatives or anything?
start drinking
go talk to someone
then someone else
drink some more
repeat until the night had eneded
Everyone is busy and doesn't have time to talk to me so I'm just sitting around waiting for it all to happen, can't just leave and show up later because I'm one of the groomsman and I'm needed for pictures