Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3376. page

>>17759183
First, break up with her. If you genuinely feel you are abusing this person, do not make them go through more. It will hurt them, but they don't deserve to be treated like that no matter what happens. It's better in the long run, because this abuse has some really nasty long-term psychological effects on people.

Next, see a psychologist. In your first few visits they'll mostly be taking in information from you. But you can figure out what we know can be changed, you'll get a rough idea of some coping strategies, and advice on what kind of therapy, medication, or treatment you might need to help you in changing your behavior.

Also, let me refer you to >>17758546

You've recognized where you're going wrong, you're not irredeemable.

Talk to your SO, get some psych help, fight against it.

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>>17759183
Go to a psychiatrist ASAP.

My GF just left me and she caused easily nearly every single argument we had. She would make outrageous claims with absolutely no backing to them at all and then go and do the most suspicious, hateful things to me. Say things that would make anyone doubt their partners loyalty and just keep a million secrets.

She would threaten to break up with me every day and then say I was guilt tripping her into staying with me. She no matter what would play the victim. If I tried to talk to her about any of our problems she would scream "Then why are you with me If I'm so awful huh!" rather than just accept she has a problem and try to fix it.

It was hard to break her out of moments like that. She was so very clearly in a completely different state of mind. You could see it in her face. She just looked like a different person and no matter what I said or did she would ignore me or twist my words or just say she doesn't believe me.

Even right now she's being abusive and trying to play the victim. Claiming I'm a sociopath that's vile and manipulative despite knowing she has a problem and admitted to being a manipulative, abusive woman. The things she has done makes it very clear who the care giver and who the controlling one was in the relationship.

You need therapy OP. You need it BAD or you just might ruin the best thing that ever happens to you. Talk about rage issues, borderline, mood swings, ect.

medication might be the only thing that can help you. I know that my last GF would never be able to control her emotions with just therapy alone. Her psychosis is THAT strong when she get's that way.

Basically OP this is going to sound cliche as fuck but you need to learn how to love yourself first. If you can't... then you simply cannot love another human. I gave her everything I was, genuine, pure love and it meant nothing to her because she truly hates herself. She could not accept that she deserved love so she couldn't give it.

please..

:/ you guys only give relationship advice, don't you?

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>>17759168
Where are you living?
What is your origin?
What is your degree?

Keeping it a secret is a good start.

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don't be an asshole and keep fucking your actual girlfriend

>>17759162
always wear at least one condom, be good in making precise schedules and observe them with gps or something similar

Bump.

What do you guy think? Should does she even like me or is just teasing? Should I give it a chance or is she just trouble?

>>17759153
Not worth it I guess. She raises a lot of red flags for me and seems really immature so it would be a no-no for me.

But to answer your other question, it seems like she likes your attention, she doesn't seem interested in anything more. But if you wanna, give it a try, you have not much to lose. (as long as you stay cool if she rejects you)

>>17759492
Why don't you think she wants anything more may I ask?

I'd stay cool but she's part of a core group of corowkers so I'm worried things might go weird

>>17759106
Maybe you oughta stop sucking dick all the time OP.

>>17759106
Canker sore. Will go away within a week or two.

Its a classic canker sore. I get them all the time from biting my lip. Avoid citrus and mint, makes it burn like a motherfucker. You can use a numbing gel or gargle salt water to make it more bearable. Should clear up in a couple days to a week.

nothing. this is only a problem because you believe it is.

>>17759065
But my question is, why can't I make real friends, why am I so forgettable?

>>17759081
Have you actually tried to invest time and effort into your friendships? Or do you just expect them to happen as long as you're present?

your a fag

>>17759061
My a fag? I don't understand. Maybe you meant "you're a fag"?

>>17759045
Man, both of you seems quite immature to argue about such a silly thing. I get you're not together for a long time?

Same exact thing for me. I go through book binges, and then I quit reading. Recently got back into reading because I picked up The Fourth Turning. On page 30 and so far it's awesome.

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I became an avid reader like three months ago and I can't stop. I stopped watching tv and I don't spend much time on 4chan anymore.

Here's how I did it.

-Remember the average person reads like zero books a year. If you read 5 pages a day, you are 5 pages above the average person

-Don't force yourself to read. Commit to read 5 pages a day. I swear after three days you'll feel like reading more and after a month or so you should be reading 50-100 pages a day for pleasure

-Read various books at the same time. When I grab a difficult book or one that makes me sleepy I grab another and switch. This should refresh your head. Keep them thematically different. I read economics and fiction.

-It isn't a race. Reading slowly won't make you sleepy that fast. Try to acknowledge what books are for you to read fast and which aren't.

-Buy the physical copies. When you get the books from your own money you'll feel the need to read them to avoid the feel of wasting your money.

-Start with books highly discussed here so you feel motivated to discuss.

>>17759009
Happened to me after I started writing, reading became simply a task I have to do, so I am doing it mechanically and don't enjoy it that much anymore, basically normal books feel like schoolbooks for me now.

I guess time and the way how easy you get kicks out of other media forms is the reason for most other people. So the obvious solution would be to make time for it instead of stuff like vidya or series. If you can squeeze it in during commuting, even better. Taking physical books over ebooks can help too.

>>17758993
Wait, you mean Brexit wasn't a way into paradise from the EU dictatorship and NHS won't get 350 mio a week? Shocking.

Well Teresa May backed remain love and is shuffling her feet on triggering article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty so we are very much still part of Europe and is and EU and Credit crunch problem

Our island is one of the most miserable places in the world to live.

But at least we are comfortable enough to complain about it.

>>17758988
you're just a shoulder to cry on for her and they'll be together again in no time. run.

>>17759076

I was initially wary of this, but the more I learned about her and the situation she is in, the less I was convinced that she was using me. The reason they still live together is over joint ownership of their dogs. I think she was a bit delusional in making the decision to stay in this arrangement. She assumed that he would be able to be mature about it until she finishes her program next year and moves away and they would each take a dog, but obviously that isn't the case. They have both gone on dates with other people since they split up, with him going as far as bringing some of the girls home while she was there, but he cannot handle the thought of her seeing anyone else. I'm the first person she has been involved with romantically since they broke up. Maybe you are right though. If you are, she deserves an Oscar.

>>17758988
Wtf this shit is unacceptable... What is your problem? Go there and do exactly this: TAKE HER SHIT AND BRING HER TO LIVE WITH YOU. NOW. Even if is temporarily, until she finds a place of her own. You don't need to marry her to help her, even if she was just a friend that was what you should do. Help her being safe and protected.
Now if she doesn't want to go with you, no matter how much you insist (do insist bc she might be scared to death of him, let it clear you'll protect and care for her) then fuck her. She is just playing you, and probably is still fucking him, bc if he's not afraid of being violent, he going to be rape very soon (if he already didn't do it).

Decide if she is a good wife material in a terrible position or if she is just a stupid bitch who can't be loyal to you and you should just ditch.
Do it now, take her in!

>>17758987
>cant
well why the hell not? your post is so damn vague.

Find a pornstar that looks like her.

Find a good guy that both of you trust to date her.

If you feel lonely, hug your mom.

>>17758987
Religion?

>>17758893
Out of sight, out of mind.

Firstly stop with the social media shit gay and paints a false picture of people's lives. Second get a hobby or pursue a hobby/passion you stopped doing.

I was in the same bout about 6 months ago. Only recovered recently. Try hitting up other girls. Time heals all wounds.
Stay strong bro

>>17758911
I never really had any hobbies. Before college, being alone didn't really affect me too much but now seeing everyone else having fun and being happy brings me down. I've looked at all the clubs that my uni offers and none of them interest me.
>>17758912
I don't have any way of meeting new people, let alone other girls. Even if I did, I'm too socially awkward and anxious to talk to them. And I always feel like I'm bothering people when I try to talk to the few people I do know.

>>17758884
It sounds like you're kind of getting fucked over by the mom but there's not much you can do about it.

You cannot escape the fact that you are responsible for your child and raising that child is what your life will be about for the next 20 years. So do not try and avoid it, simply do your best to raise this kid and provide as positive a home as you possibly can.

Also your family will be the best asset you have for raising this child (as long as they are not degenerates). Tell them ASAP and once they are over the initial shock, chances are they will help you whenever they can and this support network is invaluable. It's also important your child knows it's family

Just hang tight buddy, it's terrifying for everyone

>>17758901
I'm only 18, and an apprentice mechanic. I'm going to try be the best dad I can be but my parents are usually not very understanding. I'm scared they'll disown me.

>>17758901
I mean don't get me wrong I cannot wait to raise a child but at the same time I'm terrified for the future. and wether i can be a good dad.

>>17758878
Yeah just pushing through it would what i'd do

>>17758878
just dont call any of them nigs and accept being called a cracker, white boi, fag, etc. just say you listen to kendrick lamar, kanye west, drake, Eminem, and you'll fit right in. If you wanna make easy friends, i recommend you join a team.

>>17758878

just push through high school you dumb underage.

Help plz

>>17758861
how was it?

how fat exactly