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Quick question (need a quick answer).
The girl I love is lashing out at me for asking about plans for tonight saying she's not sure (I was checking in case I could rearrange a meeting with friends), now I know she's having a bad day at work, I've decided I'm gonna wait and hope she gets out of work in time for me to fix her day.
Thing is, if I tell her so, she's gonna feel remorse about lashing at me in the first place (which I'd rather not given she's having a bad day already) or could even think I'm being nice just to put her in a hard spot. So what do I tell her?
This is someone I care about deeply and whom I've known for 10 years. I wanna be a good friend w/o making her feel guilty.
Thanks in advance, /adv/!
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also this
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nah, make her feel guilty. Only a little. All feelings have a role, including the "bad" ones. Trying to avoid hurting someones feelings even when they should be hurt to some extent is impeding them from growing as a person. In the long run it will help neither you nor her.
This being said I'm not suggesting you act like an asshole about it or constantly remind her that you treat her nicely while she's being a bitch. In all honesty if I were you I'd leave her alone for the day, let her deal with her own shit and interact with her when she's in a better mood. But if you really want to be nice and "fix her day" then you should do it without worrying that she might feel guilty or read too much into it. Tell her you understand she had a bad day so she needs some relaxation or something and you're also looking forward to it. Then go on with your date or whatever it is as if nothing happened.
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Story time
>be me
>5 years ago, starting my secondary school
>few days before school a girl messages me telling me how she will go to the same school and wants to meet people
>we talk for few days and decide to meet up the first day
>We end up in the same class and I fall in love with her, I also think she liked me
>I got really popular due to my afro hair which is not really common in my country
>All these girls giving me attention
>I act like a retarded autist and spoil it all, also with this girl
>I was mostly alone until the end of the 2nd grade
>I gradually begun to hang out more with people and go out with friends
>after few months got a gf
>after I got a gf I started talking to this girl again (lets call her E)
>E is very different now and we have similar taste in music and stuff
>we keep friendly relations until school is over
>after 3 years in relationship I brake up with my gf
>E moves to our capital to work
>I also do this, but not because of her, there are other reasons
I should mention that I always had some feelings for this girl, even when I was with my gf.
>E and me hang out few times
>She sometimes stares into my eyes while we talk and I can't express how captivating her glare feels
cont.
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>One night after going to the bar, she invites me in her apartment for a coffee
>Naturally I accept
>We joke around, play guitar, watch movies..
>She complains about her back pain, I offer to massage her and do so, she wants to massage me afterwards and I let her.
>While we watched a movie, I hug her and cuddle her
>She acts very neutral
>I ask her if she feels uncomfortable, she says no
>I ask her is this weird for her
>She says yes
>I ask her is it good type of weird or bad type of weird
>She says just weird.
>Next day I send her a message and apologize to her, telling her how she must have felt very awkward.
>She says it's okay
>We still hang out, she is still giving me that glare, she still hugs me every time when we meet and part.
I feel very very confused. I just can't read this girl. I wish to get closer to her, not necessarily as a boyfriend, but I do wish to make out with her and cuddle and stuff. Any advice is welcome.
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Tricky situation, desu I would just go with it. I mean, if you're already cuddling and physically close and she isn't too awkward with it. While watching movies or something, try talking to her and getting closer. Ask her if it's too weird and maybe just tell her what you're looking for?
I wouldn't trust my advice but that's how I would go on about it, probably maybe fucking up while doing so.
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>>17772613
That's the problem, I really wish to not fuck up this friendship. She is a really good person to hang out with, I really enjoy being around her and I don't wish to loose that.
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My boyfriend cheated on me, and I dumped him.
It was the last of a long list of of things that were starting to go wrong in our relationship. I couldn't dump him before, seeing as much he suffered when I tried to the first time, but this sealed the deal.
I left him badly. It wasn't smooth as I hoped it would be, but I was angry.
This happened three days ago. I wanted to start knowing someone else way before that, but now I'm officially single so I might as well do it. I don't mind finding another boyfriend, but I'm scared of starting another relationship immediately. I feel like these desires are conflicting with each other.
Should I mention how much time has passed since I broke up to potential new dates? Would it be justified to lie? I would say about two weeks. It doesn't seem long but it's certanly not three days.
What would you do, /adv/?
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If you're having doubts about dating, it's probably best to hold on. The next guy will end up being a rebound and that's not a situation you want to get yourself into.
When you are ready, be in now or later, don't even bother bringing up old relationships unless they ask. No dude wants to hear about the person you used to fuck, unless they specifically ask.
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>>17772573
>My boyfriend cheated on me
How did he cheat?
>I left him badly. It wasn't smooth as I hoped it would be
What do you mean?
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>>17772573
i advise waiting until your anger at your last bf subsides. get laid if you need to, but wait until you level out to find a new relationship
Anonymous
Tips on starting in university 2016-11-17 18:14:12 Post No.17772557
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Tips on starting in university
Anonymous
2016-11-17 18:14:12
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How do I start to university and not drop out?
I'm going to university in January and from what I've heard it's very hard, people there are so stressed etc. I'm afraid I can't handle it since I even have problems with being social, my mental health and my life in general. What are some good tips on how to survive university? Is the first year the hardest?
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>>17772557
Learn to manage your time. Depending on what you are studying, reading up the day before the test won't cut it. Try to read a bit everyday and don't let your schedule slip up too much.
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>>17772567
Is it possible to have a life with your studies or will my life be all school? I heard on some degrees they read from 8 in the morning until 10 in the evening :'( (medicine)
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>>17772574
You are in medicine? As far as I know, you'll have to fuse your ass to the chair for that one.
You can have a life, but it's not high school. Doesn't mean you live to study.
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"You wont be a good father without a good salary."
My uncle wants me to join his police force in his city. Should I leave my environmental protection job in SoCal for a pay bump in the midwest?
I don't even have kids yet.
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Well, do you want to be a cop? Remember whatever career you choose now is going to influence what careers you choose in the future because of contacts/work experience.
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How bad is the riot situation where he is?
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Is it a dangerous area? Will you be risking your life everyday? Or is it Andy griffithville? Are you ok with potentially just driving around and doing fuck all day and collecting a check? Or risking your life for a pay bump? Do you care about leaving SoCal? How passionate are you about your job now? Could you change jobs with better pay in SoCal? What about cost of living? Are you going to have your own place or live off free woth your uncle or pay him rent?
Anonymous
My girlfriends mother is lying about check fraud. 2016-11-17 17:43:55 Post No.17772483
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My girlfriends mother is lying about check fraud. 2016-11-17 17:43:55 Post No.17772483
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My girlfriends mother is lying about check fraud.
Anonymous
2016-11-17 17:43:55
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My girlfriends mother is a goddamn nutbag, and she is caliming that a check that was a gift to my GF from her dad was forged.
Shes been on and off her skitzo meds for the last 10 years, and has been threatening to go to the police about the "fraud" since my GF received the check back in may.
We have gone to the cops about this and they haven't been very helpful because she hasn't filed anything yet.
We are in the process of getting a restraining order so that she will finally fuck off and leave us the hell alone.
What do /adv/?
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Mental health services in America are a joke. Restraining orders will do little against a psychotic: they can't exactly comprehend the concept of prison well enough for it to serve as deterrence.
My advice is buy a gun.
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We have 3
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>18
>drank heavily for the first time last week
>honestly the most fun i'd had in a few years and I was just in my room on my pc playing shitty games
>can't stop thinking about it
Surely two times can't hurt right
:^) ?
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>>17772446
Yeah but dont overdo it mate
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>>17772446
You're an alcky, for sure.
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>>17772446
get a gf mang, she will watch over you and protect you from bad habits.
Anonymous
Thinking of breaking up with gf because her past 2016-11-17 17:16:41 Post No.17772423
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Thinking of breaking up with gf because her past 2016-11-17 17:16:41 Post No.17772423
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Thinking of breaking up with gf because her past
Anonymous
2016-11-17 17:16:41
Post No. 17772423
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I'm thinking about breaking up with my gf because her past does not sit well with me
I've been dating her for a year now (also we're both 21) and as we grow closer I also find her values, beliefs, and past affect me more and more. She's had two sexual partners before me, while I lost my virginity to her. Both the guys she dated were from tindr. The first she gave her virginity to him when they weren't even bf/gf. The second she had sex with him within a week of meeting him on tinder.
I myself would not be comfortable having sex with someone that fast, why is it unreasonable for me to expect that of her? Every day it eats me up knowing I'll never be her first so why bother continuing the relationship?
Inb4 "the past is the past" etc. etc. The past is not just the past and the decisions and people who a person interacts with shapes their future.
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It's pretty petty, but dump her for whatever reason you want.
Also, if you're seriously nutting for a 'pure' virgin, you're gonna be searching for a long time. My advice? Go to a Muslim country.
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>>17772429
doesn't have to be a virgin, though that would be nice
I'd just prefer someone who only has sex in committed relationships
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>>17772423
Two guys really isn't that many. You gotta realize that dating options for a 21-year-old girl are VERY different than dating options for a 21-year-old guy. You have no idea what it's like to sign up for a dating app and get IMMEDIATELY bombarded by people very persistently trying to talk you into sex.
that dynamic completely reverses in your late twenties/early thirties. Women suddenly find themselves with far fewer options, whereas you'll actually start looking/behaving more like a man than a boy, and you'll suddenly have women making moves on you everywhere you go. And then you'll actually understand how "impulsive" decisions like that can happen
If she'd slept with 10+ Tinder dudes, if she still has the app while you're dating, then you'd have a solid argument. But come on, you're seriously gonna treat her like damaged goods because she had two little flings in her early twenties? It is a little bit ridiculous on your part
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Long story short; I hate my situation right now and want to make a drastic change otherwise I'm gonna hang myself.
I'm 23 and have no friends, no loved ones, no job, a shitty apartment, little ambition and can barely function as a human being.
I'm looking for something to take me away from where I currently am and to put me on a better path.
So far I'm looking at joining the military, teaching English abroad or joining some kind of co-op.
Teaching English abroad sounds like my best bet so far, the only downside I can see is that you need to be outgoing to do the job well which would be draining. Also I could get shafted and end up teaching some place hours away from where I'm situated.
If I joined the military I'd be looking to get into the intelligence side of things because frankly physical activity ain't my strong suit. Even then I'm sure you'd be expected to maintain some level of fitness so this option is at the bottom of my list.
As for a co-op, there's no standards or regulatory body so it's a crap shoot whether I could live in one long term, assuming I could even find one that suits me as a person.
Please give me some suggestions on other ways to escape a shitty situation/advice on the ones I've mentioned.
tl;dr - Hate my life, need suggestions which will take me away from where I am and push me forward in life.
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>>17772363
The problem with running away is that when you get where you're going, you're still you.
Change yourself and then move, not the other way around.
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>>17772364
You're right but I feel like my current environment is stopping me from changing.
I'm very unhappy but still comfortable enough to stay and stagnate.
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All military service requires physical fitness, whether or not you're going to West Point or BCT. That said, you could probably use some more of that in your life.
I'd recommend starting your own co-op/ESOP over joining one. No need to care about regulatory bodies then.
Anonymous
Avoid Becoming Like Elliot Rodger 2.0 2016-11-17 16:29:14 Post No.17772349
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Avoid Becoming Like Elliot Rodger 2.0 2016-11-17 16:29:14 Post No.17772349
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Avoid Becoming Like Elliot Rodger 2.0
Anonymous
2016-11-17 16:29:14
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I’m 19yr old male, currently homeschooled due to psychiatric problems in 2014-15. I am more focused and hope to get good grades to uni next year but don’t know if that’ll be possible.
The problem is socially, I have no friends. My self-image about gender and race issues along with moving across various continents has led me with virtually no friends. I am not desperate for friends; I would just prefer having some.
One thing to note though, I refuse to be friends with men who are part of the ‘masculine lad’ culture or traditional masculine men whether they may be in large groups, small groups, or introverts. I’ve had bad experiences with them and my father. I had a friend who I believed I would get along with but it turned out to be a disaster. Got me removed from school for suicide comments. I would prefer more close friendships with females who don’t exhibit aggression in their interactions and actions with me like a good number of males do
Currently I attend some tutor classes geared towards the exams next year. I would like to try to make friends with preferably females or males who aren’t into the ‘masculine lad’ culture although talking to them in my English class (only class where we have to interact) the vast majority of men would be like that and most girls in the class would be friends with guys like that.
I know most guys here would fit the description of the guys I don’t like but could anyone offer some advice?
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>>17772349
Judging from your post I don't think you have to worry about becoming Elliot. He wrote one of the most significant comedic masterpiece of this period, he could've had a future in writing if he didn't decide to shoot people instead.
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>>17772359
jesus christ
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>>17772359
I keked. No one more pathetic then this kid has ever existed.
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holy crap i think a girl loves me but the problem is i dont know what to do and she's my classmate what should i do?
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>>17772281
You have to be 18+ to post here. 15 is too young. Come back in three years.
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>>17772286
well im over 18 infact i just turnd in oktober im senior in highschool
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You like her? Then ask her out.
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Should I get chemically castrated to stop my hair loss? I mean I never literally never have sex anyway. I get off more to masturbation so I don't even really like sex. I lose my boner during sex a lot and often can't finish because I'm so used to my hand.
My hair is my only good feature and I go from a 7 to a 2 with a shaved head.
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hair implants, Rogaine, Propecia etc.
a bunch of those things work. also if you can grow a beard your solid. a lot of women like a bald guy with a big think beard as male pattern baldness is a thing and losing the hair on your head while having a big beard is a sign of high testosterone.
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>>17772296
I'm scared shitless or surgery and a hair transplant just looks like the worst one. I was praying to god for awhile that there would be a cure or stem cells would work or something but it's getting clear that won't happen.
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>>17772302
take the pills then. they really do work and make it look natural as compared to a transplant where boom all the hair is back in a day.
I'm 25 and about to go on something like that. I've tried the OTC sprays but they never worked for me. It started 4 years ago and it used to devastate me but I've come to terms with it now. a little tip I noticed the more you worry about it the quicker it seems to fall out.
just remember this is common for males and grow some facial hair if you can to avert from the fact.
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Any advice? 1/2
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2/2
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OH op. just be more savage towards her, I did this to my new girlfriend once, she was depressed at the time. I think it really solved the issue for both of us. Do not think i mean that you should rape her or something. Girls like to be dominated, start to seduce her with gentle kisses to neck, and once she stops resisting, go for the boobies. Who am I to tell you how to listen to your instincts? Just do it after eating with her and while she is distracted by TV or some other shit. Also you can go to Fit for some testosterone/pheromones enhancing hints.
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>she didn't even answer anything
Just grab her by the pussy OP
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I'm in a fucked up situation and I need /adv/ices.
It's been 3 years I'm "online" dating a woman in Philippines. We met on a dating website and I've seen her multiple times when I go in vacation there and she's been in France (my country) once to see me (I've paid the tickets obviously). It's fun and all, she's super hot, sex is great and I was considering marrying her but later, when I buy my own place (renting right now and it's now ideal).
We went threw a huge fight about it recently because she thinks I'm taking too much time. We almost broke up but we finally decided against it.
Then 4 days ago, her 14yo daughter (she has two girls, they are now 9 and 14) sent me a video. She doesn't speak, she just get naked in front of the camera with no expression on her face.
I'm still in shock. I'm wondering if her mother told her to do that so I will bring them here. I don't know what to do.
Pic very related, it's how the video start.
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I want to get off this ride, humanity was a mistake
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what is implied? that the daughters are being used as prostitutes and trying to guilt you to get them out of the relationship?
seems kind of fucked and she could be using you to get her out of the situation of maybe she really loves you and is hoping you were meant for her because you'll get her out of it.
I don't know either way super fucked senpai I wish you luck and keep us updated.
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>>17772283
>>17772283
I think she's trying everything to get me to marry her and she would even give me her daughter to convince me. That's extremely fucked up but that's the kind of mentality they have there. I don't know what to do, I can't call the police because child services are the worst and their president right now is a tyranical monster who don't forgive that kind of stuff.
Of course I'm not sure the girl isn't just acting on her own and being a teenager idiot. But she has see me only two times, we have never spoken more than few words and she has never been in the same house when I was having sex with her mother.
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I can't take it how my girlfriend behaves with other men. She has these male friends who are her "super important friends" and she acts super flirty with them, "as a joke". Like, she leans on their shoulder, plays with their hair, sits in their lap, or lies on the sofa and has her legs in their lap, hugs them very often etc. I just feel super shitty because of this. I want her to stop but I don't know how should I say it and I don't mean she should not be friends with them. I jist want her to cut this flirty bullshit. I don't want her to be flirty with other men. Today, I walked up to her during recess in school (I'm 18yo, yes we still have recess/breaks in schools, I'm not american) and she was sitting in his male friend's lap. I was so fucking furious. I just walked away. She texted me later "what happened?" I was very close to asking her why the fuck is she sitting in another guy's lap, but then decided to hold my anger. I want her to stop but I'm scared she will take it the wrong way and get angry.
To clarify, She is not cheating, and I'm not afraid she would ever cheat. That's not my point. I just generally am very uncomfortable about how she is so physical with other men.
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you can't change girls like that. they have to change themselves if anything but that still rarely happens.
the other route is to confront her about it. this often ends in you looking insecure and judgemental to her which is why it 95% ends in breakup. every blue moon one girl will like their bf so much they will change but I don't see it happening almost ever really.
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>>17772258
If I wanted to confront her, what should I say/do?
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>>17772252
>I just generally am very uncomfortable about how she is so physical with other men.
Just tell her this. Don't be angry or whiny about it, be clear and short.
>"but she will say I'm exaggerating, it's not that way,etc"
Doesn't matter. You're still uncomfortable about it.