I know this is pathetic but my boyfriend's waifu is taking over our relationship.
I'm also into anime so I've never minded the whole waifu thing but he's literally so obsessed with her that he pretends his daki of her is actually her and never of me and he just generally seems more attached to her than me.
He has actual romantic feelings and I feel like the unavailability of this 2d character enhances it
Should I try to act more like this character in hope he loves me more?
I'm scared to confront him about it because he gets angry and I don't want an argument
I'm the complete opposite of her in looks and personality and I end up feeling so inadequate. Some irony is that he gets jealous very easily about both 2D and 3D despite having different rules for himself.
What do I do? It's at a point where it feels like my boyfriend is not over an ex and it's a fucking cartoon character.
>>17764347
Literally dump him. Why is this a dilemma? He sounds fucking awful.
Leave him. He sounds like a fucking loser
Tell him his heart isn't big enough for the both of you. One of you has to go. It's either you or the waifu.
The thread for older (25+) miserable people.
32 yo male here
Worry about ED, even though I know I can carry an erection, it's rare that I get fully diamond. In fact, I'm not really sure how hard it's possible to get. This worrying has in later years made me go soft during sex, partly because I keep checking to see if I'm actually hard enough. Women don't complain, but it's very much in my mind when I fuck someone, and it means one out of three of four times I don't reach climax. Also I don't get horny/erect as easily as I used to, but then again I used to be in LTRs, as of in recent years I've only dated casually, so not sure if it's a confidence thing crossed with a feeling close/safe with the women I sleep with.
Someone give me some comforting words. I'd like to think that it's as easy as getting more /fit/. I've been really lazy and had low energy the last couple of years, and I drink more days than I don't.
Can I be saved, or is this old age? I don't want to use meds.
>>17748724
How often do you ejaculate? maybe you should slow down and take break. let your libido fully die and reset itself.
>>17748681
define miserable
This guy I love told me that he is not ready for a relationship yet, explaining that he is really busy with education and has no energy whatsoever for a relationship and he doent know for how much time it will be this way. He told me he loves me and cares but well, i'm just confused now.
Should I believe him, give him time and wait or should I interpret it as "not really interested in you" and just move on and stop contacting him at all for now?
Pic unrelated
Move on. Are you really going to wait for him to come around and give you the time of day? Busy people all around the world have the time to deal with their loved ones and for him to say he doesn't have time for a relationship is bullshit. I think you know this but are in denial. Back when I was working in school and working full time, I still could meet up with my girl every couple of days to chill and do shit together. Just saying.
>>17773610
you don't know why he's saying that. Work on getting fit and improving yourself.
Let him contact you, he already knows how you feel then if you keep pressuring him then it'll just turn him off.
>>17773621
Yeah, I guess i'm just deluding myself.
I forgot to mention that we had a LDR that lasted for a year. We kinda broke it off because of his education. Before that he was always there to make plans to see each other.
>>17773634
Yeah that's what i'm doing.
I'm kinda afraid that he wont contact me at all but at the same time it will make things a lot easier for me if he wont
How do I talk to girls? It's not that I lack confidence, it's just that I have no idea what to say to them.
"Hello, my name is ............." is a good way to start off. If you feel like you need to say something as of a reason to go there, you could always be honest: "You seem like a interesting girl, I want to meet you." per say.
>>17773515
Girls love talking about themselves. Ask them questions, listen to their answers and ask more questions based on answers. Don't just fire questions, put in fillers like that's interesting, can you tell me more, cool I never knew that.
They'll be so wrapped up in talking about themselves they won't be analysing your behaviour or judging you, so you can relax.
Hopefully you find one with shared interests so you can start contributing your own info to the discussion.
>>17773515
you don't know what to say because you filter yourself
when you're with friends or family do you run out of things to say?
of course not
because you don't filter yourself
lower the bar man, its about the vibe you put across and less about the words
Should I try to get back together with my ex-girlfriend?
Greentext just to keep it more organized.
>Had a fling with her near the end of May right after she took a break from her boyfriend.
>Piece of shit guy
>blah blah girls only date douchebags blah blah
>After about a month of seeing each other, she broke things off
>Cut all contact over the summer
>I'm a beta bitch about it but finally get over it
>Accept it was just a rebound and move on.
>First week of September, just started college
>She texts me and asks how I've been
>She went back to her ex over the summer
>He's a lunatic who stalks her so she got a protective order when she finally broke up with him
>Turns out she commutes to a community college near my uni one day a week
>We start dating again and she stays with me when shes here for school
>Usually stays about three days a week
>First month is perfect
>Sex is great, she said shes happy, and I was happy
>Since there were still some feeling left from the earlier fling it was easier to say I loved her
>She said she loved me too
>Over the next few weeks she became more and more distant
>Didnt want to stay as long, fighting over small things, holding grudges
>Her distance made me feel more alone and I crept back into my depression
>She finally broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago
>Explanation was I was too sad and she didn't feel that she could love someone so soon after her breakup
I've been doing much better than I thought I would be, good days and bad days. She cut contact again. I've only tried to text her once over the past weeks. I know the chance of HER coming back is slim to none. I want to give her time but I'd hate to see her move on. Is it even worth my time and dignity to try and get her back? If I should how should I try?
>>17773509
Sounds like, in spite of yourself, you're dodging a bullet.
Move on, she sounds like a drama whore, you might never find happiness if you keep pursuing her.
As Einstein once said, and I won't say the exact words, true stupidity is trying to do the same thing again and again expecting different results.
What I mean is... if you haven't changed and she hasn't, or if you aren't seeing your relationship with different eyes... Well, I'd vote for a 'no'.
>>17773531
That's why I want to give her time for herself. Let her heal from her bad boyfriend and hopefully she'll realize she does want to be with me.
I also feel like I do know the mistakes I've made and what I would change.
I have an interpersonal problem that's become quite upsetting for me.
So, since we were about 15 or so (I'm 21 now), me and my friends from school have hung out in a Teamspeak server nearly every day, playing games or just chatting or whatever, it's great, probably the only place I've really felt like myself and been with people I really enjoy the company of.
There's one guy in there though, I've known him since we were 11, and at one point I considered him my best friend, and we were still good friends until we were about 17, and even then we still chatted until about a year ago. This guy is not a pleasant person, he's incredibly negative and vulgar and generally aggressive, I don't hate him though, he's funny and intelligent and ambitious, and I enjoy his company. This guy owns the server we hang out on, and is definitely the alpha male of the group, few of us challenge him on anything except for me. Owning the server obviously puts him in a position of power.
I got the feeling over the past year that he didn't like me anymore, he would really talk to me unless I talked to him first, and when he answered he'd try to make the conversation as brief and humourless as possible. If it was just us two in the server he'd just pretend he wasn't there and ignore me, he completely stopped playing games with me. About 8 months ago I invited him to play a game with the group, he said no as per usual and I called him something, I don't remember what, but it was nothing serious, something on the lines of "you smell" or something. He banned me for this. He bans people quite often for a joke and lets them back in within minutes, he's done it to me a lot. This time though, he banned me for 4 months. 4 months I couldn't speak to my friends. He deleted me off everything; Steam, Battle.net, League of Legends, and so on.
>>17773434
(Cont.)
I finally got him to add me back after we went out on a rare trip to the pub (as a group of introverted gamers we don't really go out much), for some reason his alpha-ness drops dramatically in person, and I got him to submit.
So I'm back in the chat 4 months ago, and I'm pretty happy, I even felt like we were getting along better, we actually managed to share a few real discussions and jokes together. But then, about a month and a half ago, a few weeks after I started university, he just fucking stopped talking to me, not in a passive way, like I'll literally say his name, try to talk to him, and he will completely stop talking, actively ignoring me.
>>17773434
You didn't like, have their phone numbers, contact info or in-game names? This guy sounds like a douche. Circumvent him. Play without him and be done with it.
>>17773443
(Cont.)
This is really beginning to upset me, I don't think I'm wrong in thinking this is childish, it really doesn't strike me as the kind of thing such a smart person would do. I can't join in a conversation he's in, and if I'm having a conversation with others, he can just bring it to a dead stop by joining in and derailing it. I can't talk to him about it, he's always in the group, but never alone, and if he were alone I doubt he'd talk to me anyway. My other friends will not bring it up to him, as I say, he's very much the alpha and they are all introverts who don't want any conflict (In the 6 years of this group there has never been any real, on-the-surface drama). They won't even give me his phone number so I can try to text or call him, they're afraid they'll somehow get in trouble or something (yeah, that's how much of a stranglehold this guy has on the group).
If it were any normal face-to-face situation, I'd just say "fuck it" and cut him out of my life, I might not be happy about it, but that's what I would do. But here, if I were to do that, it would mean barely ever being able to talk to my oldest and closest friends, never being able to play games and have a laugh with them. I'd like to talk to him just to ask why he doesn't like me, what specifically he dislikes and to see if I could change or alter those things, because I don't hate the guy at all, I'd love to be his friend, but he makes it so difficult.
Sorry this is so long, any advice? He still has me on Battle.net, I'm tempted to try to talk to him on there, it's just I'd need to find a time when he's not talking to anyone else, which is rare because he hangs out on the server from when he wakes up until he sleeps.
I have a problem.
7 years ago I started telling myself "I don't want a girlfriend and don't care about sex". i said it so much it became fact. Now in the present, I met a girl I actually really really like. We've been dating for a month now, and she mentioned to me that she would like me to be her boyfriend. When she said that, it sort of made me panic internally. Now I keep thinking to myself what the fuck do I do? I like her a lot, but in my gut I have this feel of "stay single, you don't want a girlfriend". Just over and over. It has nothing to do with her specifically, she's great. But it's just a general "NO GIRLFRIEND" feeling.
What do I do, or how do I fix this..?
*note- when she asked me about a relationship and I panicked. She noticed. She asked what was wrong. I tried to explain that I really like her, but it doesn't feel right. She got hurt, and after a few hours and me telling her the ENTIRE fucking story. she seems to understand. I feel really awkward, because I didn't want to upset her, I do like her! But I just feel so confused
> how do I fix this
This situation is called a choice. A choice is when there are 2 or more possible outcomes, of which you may only experience one. You have to prioritize what is more important to you: this girl, and spending time with her, or staying single because of your arbitrary ethics. If you want my honest opinion which choice is best, I would say to go single. Not for your dumb reasoning, but because by telling this girl you didn't see her as gf material you have effectively made her think she isn't worth enough for you to pledge your loyalty to her, and you will have a weak relationship because you sound quite emotionally immature. Staying single will save both you and her from the suffering that will result from your tomfuckery.
>>17773308
>>17773308
Be brave. Jump in. Try not to hold back because that will invariably make the relationship harder to maintain. Maybe find someone else you can talk about it with openly so that they can support you.
Understand that at some point in the future you'll likely get hurt – all break ups are painful, no matter whether you're on the receiving end or doing – and accept it. It's a risk, but you'll regret it for a long time afterwards if you don't at least try.
>>17773326
>because by telling this girl you didn't see her as gf material
I completely explained to her that it has nothing to do with her. She absolutely is girlfriend material.
How do you force yourself to believe something that isn't necessarily true? For example, force a narrative of events in your head until you think it's the truth.
Bash your head with a rock.
>>17773277
Inception.
Drugs.
Gas-lighting.
>>17773277
you can't do this consciously
are you retarded or what
you probably only want us to ask you what you are trying to force yourself to believe
go fuck yourself
What is the best way to invest $20K in America as a LEGAL IMMIGRANT?
Considering that my 3rd world uni degree is worth the same as a banana leaf and that getting a giant loan to attend an American University is out of the table, what is the best way to support myself with what I have and unlock the American Dream?
>the American Dream?
Doesn't exist broseph. Unless you run your own very successful business.
Anyway, just talk to a stock broker. $20k is enough to just throw at somebody if you're not market savvy and let them manage it for you.
And it doesnt really matter if you're an immigrant or not, you don't have to be a citizen to play the market.
You don't even need to be in the country, really.
>>17773264
>just talk to a stock broker
Where do I find a good stock broker?
Also, will he make money for me in a monthly basis or how does it works?
Sorry for silly questions
Usually I'd recommend going to another country. Not sure what the deals are for foreign people but I know Germany etc. have been doing education for under $1000 a year. Most things are better than the insane loans they do in the US. Your situation is more complicated though.
How do I cope being the lover?
I'm currently having sex with my ex, but she's with another man in a relationship. I love her, we had a 7 years relationship which ended bad. Somehow, after a time we started to talk again and eventually we ended making love. I think she still loves me, but she says she can't end that guy now, meanwhile I have to wait until that day comes but it destroys me when she's with him as she spends the most of her time with him, the thoughts of her doing the things we had together is painful.
Right now she's my only chance to get laid. I know there are many people who pass through this, so... how do I stay with her without feeling sad?
> she's with another man in a relationship
You're both scum
rationalize it.
If she wasn't fucking you she'd be fucking someone else.
Also, you're helping her cope with sexual frustrations present in her current relationship. If it wasn't for you she would probably have ended it a while ago.
Fuck her, treat her out to dinner, but never expect her to ditch her SO and run into your arms. You are dick on the side, no matter what she says to you, and you need to remember that if you even want a chance of this resolving in a non-shitty way for you.
My advice is just to enjoy it while it lasts. Build some memories, get some good experience as a lover etc.
Hello /adv/ I'm currently applying as a game tester for a big company, and they want me to do an analysis of any game I like in 500 words. Have any of you guys done something like this? It's so free I'm not sure I'm doing it right.
Just look up some professional ones? Cover lots of aspects. If you want to look up the spec for BTEC IT (UK version), the Games Design module, this is basically half the coursework.
>>17773289
I will do that, thank you!
i hope you know what you're getting into anon. it is mostly common knowledge within the gaming industry but just in case, you will be spending hours and hours, days upon days, weeks, months.. playing the same level over and over and over and over.
I've talking to this russian girl for months now (I'm from the US) and we recently started getting much closer. We talk all day until our respective bed times. We both admitted to liking each other.
Anyway, we are both pretty young (19 and 20), so we don't have the funds to be flying around whenever we want. Is there any way I (we) could keep this relationship going for long enough until we're able to meet frequently? Or should I just not take it seriously at all?
Months isn't very long really. If it's getting to the 2 year point start sharing a holiday in different countries every 6 months. You should have made some money by then, a holiday shouldn't dent your finances (well maybe a little dent but that's ok).
>>17773170
Alright thanks for the tip. I guess you're right it hasn't been that long. She's just so hot, sweet and intelligent, I don't want to fuck it up.
>>17773179
It's definately not a scam anon, well done for scoring this girl
So I got a job recently, my first one ever at 20. But I'm just losing it. My stress levels are off the charts. I'm constantly feeling pressured, watched and have extreme chest pains, trouble breathing and even break into crying at times.
I don't know what's wrong with me, no one at my job has snapped at me or anything of the sort. But this stress and fear is really digging at me. I grew up extremely sheltered. My Mom has always been over protective, so I never really learned to talk to people. I exchange the words necessary with my co-workers and boss but beyond that I try to avoid talking because it makes me feel 10 times worse. But right now I'm in actual pain. Chest pains, body sores and trouble moving my neck. It's really getting to me and I have no idea what to do.
>>17773154
I felt like that when I first started working. I would come home from work every day and cry hysterically. It's just a shock to the system, to go from doing nothing and having no responsibilities to actually having to answer to people, be on time, be professional, etc, etc.
You'll get used to it eventually and loosen up, maybe make some friends or at least be on cordial terms with your coworkers. Give it time.
See a doctor?
>>17773154
sounds like you have anxiety. see a professional.
>>17773163
this is not a normal reaction to work. crying hysterically, etc. sounds like this guy got over it the hard way, but you don't have to bruteforce it like that. i think this guy got lucky.
1/2
My gf’s just given me an ultimatum: either I visit her tomorrow for the weekend (as was planned) or she’ll never talk to me again.
I know she’s serious, because she’s very headstrong and has just blocked me on whatsapp (unusual behaviour). I need help with two things:
1) Am I in the wrong?
2) Should I visit her?
We’ve been together for a year and a half, but have always lived in separate towns so see each other for a weekend every month and for a week every three months. Although it’s been close to six weeks since we were last together (we were scheduled to meet last weekend but she had to visit her controlling family). We’re very close. Her family are horrible, horrible people. She has no close friends. She told me recently that I’m the closest she’s ever been with someone. And, for myself, I’ve never been as remotely comfortable with any previous gfs as I am with her. I care about her deeply.
So why am I even considering not visiting this weekend? Fear. For the majority of my life I’ve struggled with emetophobia (fear of vomit and vomiting). For the last week my gf has been vomiting. She’s convinced that it’s because of her period. Whilst I believe this to be credible, I have convinced myself that, as the symptoms are near enough identical, she has actually had some sort of stomach bug virus and that, if I visit her, I will invariably contract the virus. As far as I can tell, there’s no sure-fire way of knowing either way. But, as I said, she is convinced that it’s related to her period, and so for her, I guess, this is a question of trust.
Without going into too much detail, the fear is very distracting. I cannot imagine a worse experience than having a stomach bug. Death seems more attractive. And so I cannot picture the weekend as anything other than filled with anxiety, which would be fun for neither of us.
>>17773137
does she know about your phobia ?
Hi Matt. Regardless, yes you should. Just get drunk or go see a doctor to get some pills for your phobia. Explain the situation and do whatever you can. Youre being silly anon. Wear a flu mask if you have to. There are lots of ways aroud this.
2/2
In light of this, I asked her, practically begged her, whether we could rearrange for next weekend. Told her that I’d cover the costs and that I’d make it up to her. I told her I was scared and that I was sorry. To put it bluntly (or aptly, given how she put it herself), she merely responded to my pleas with “no”.
Now, I am, without question, in general a cowardly person; I imagine that I fit neatly into the criteria for one who has an avoidant personality disorder. However, I feel she is being very unfair and actually quite mean. I know my phobia is irrational (which phobia isn’t?), but it is still a mental health issue – one, I feel it’s significant to note, which has never impacted on our relationship before – and therefore deserving of some sympathy.
I feel like I’m being put between a rock and a hard place; like I’m being emotionally blackmailed when at my most vulnerable. Furthermore, I’m wondering whether I even want to be with someone who would put me in such a position.
Am I wrong? Is the fear blinding me?
Does uni get better /adv/?
>>17773127
of course! on graduation day
>>17773134
I've been two months that's a while off.
Fuck no