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/adv/
I've been with my girlfriend for a few years. Lately I'm like 99% sure I wanna break up with her.
Long story short is that tried dating once before, broke up for a few months, and got back together and have been together for about 3.5 years. I was of course happy when we initially got back together but (at least for me) the "spark" or "flame" that I felt the first time we were together was gone. Over the past few years I've been more or less happy having her as my girlfriend, but not really excited about it, if that makes sense. I kind of feel like I've been living a lie. She thinks we're going to get married. I do not.
I guess I'm just tired of being in a passionless relationship.
So anyway, yeah, pretty sure I want to break up. She's going to be coming up to visit me next weekend (I live a few hours away from our hometown). I feel like this is the only time I'm going to have to break up with her for a while because:
a) I want to give her the decency of doing it face-to-face and
b) I'm not gonna see her again until Christmas time, and I think breaking up with her that close to the holidays is a pretty shitty thing to do.
SO
Is it a shitty thing to do if I let her come up, we do stuff on the weekend (she's also got plans to see family here, but she's crashing at my place and we're doing dinner and stuff) and then end it before she goes home...?
I feel like that's a pretty rude thing to do ("oh what a nice weekend we had thanks for the sex and oh by the way I think we should see other people") but...it seems like the only other option is to tell her ahead of time so that she doesn't have to make the trip up if she doesn't want to, but that kind of violates the whole "do it face to face" thing.
I'm not really sure what the best course of action here is.
Any suggestions?
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Losing that "spark" you had when you first started dating is totally normal. Love isn't an explosive volcano of affection all the time.
Meditate on it, find out if you actually do love her still or if you don't, but don't think of it in terms of honeymoon-passion. Does she make you happy when you see her? Do you find yourself wishing you had her nearby when she's gone? That sort of thing.
Also, wait until after new years. Everybody breaks up on the holidays and it just makes it shitty for everybody. She'll be miserable, her family by extension will be miserable, you'll feel awful, it's just a bad time for everybody.
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>>17785385
>Losing that "spark" you had when you first started dating is totally normal
No, I know that. What I mean is that essentially since we've got back together it's been more or less passionless from my end. Like...since I moved I've found I'm completely fine to go weeks without seeing her.
>Also, wait until after new years
So you think I should wait til after new years regardless? I should just go through this weekend being all hunky-dory? I guess that makes sense. Still though, feels bad to lie to her for that much longer. I feel like a dick almost every time I text her "I love you".
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>>17785368
The guy above me is right. The spark doesn't last forever. You should rather ask yourself: Are you happy while being with her? Does she makes you better? How would you feel when she's gone of your life?
It's a hard choice. But if you think you have to do it, then do it.
I've been in both situations. It's good when you're out of something you didn't feel like being. But it's AWFUL when you realize you did need her and now she's gone.
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Should I make this a big deal during Thanksgiving?
My dad broke his arm over the week and therefore won't be able to lift the turkey, or carve it. My mom generally cooks it, but he does the literal heavy lifting. I'm more than capable of lifting and carving a turkey, even cooking it, if need be. I offered to help.
My parents decided to order a pre-prepared turkey from a place up the street. They don't seem to have read anything - it's a completely cold, "reheatable" turkey/turkey slices. And much more expensive. I'm basically mad that we're going to end up missing the family experience and eating a re-cooked turkey, and I think they didn't trust me to take over a really simple responsibility.
I know I sound like a spoiled kid here, but I've done many of my own Thanksgivings, and I'm an adult with his own job and own money - I just don't think my parents paid attention to what they ordered and are ruining others' dinner.
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They already bought the damn thing, don't make a fuss over it.
Maybe express your disappointment in a mature, adult way as an aside, but what's done is done.
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>>17785366
At heart, the point is that they don't pay attention to details, and its infuriating. This is just a $160 example.
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Jesus Christ, this is one of the pettiest things on this board, and this board is full of petty shit.
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So /adv/
I have a best friend who happens to be a girl. We've always gotten along, and we've been friends for ages. Lately, however, she has been rather flirty with me like sending hearts after saying goodbye, calling me "the prince of her life", more physical, etc.
The thing is, she doesn't want to go out with me. We've tried to date once before but she broke it off after two days. AFAIK, she doesn't want to try it again. Am confused.
Wat do?
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Nothing, you are in the super friendzone. Literally no way out but to stop being friends.
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>>17785325
Probably should have mentioned that I have a girlfriend. My girlfriend extremely dislikes the way my friend has been acting around me.
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>>17785336
Lol wait you have a GF nvm that changes everything.
Sounds like now that she can't have you, she wants you...happens all the time.
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So I'm doing this because I mostly have no idea who to talk to this about and I figured why not 4Chan.
So my dad is a douche bag he married a woman who really shouldn't of been around kids and shit she did things when I was younger not sexual but she hurt me physically.
i'm a grown-up and I've had a wife and a kid and I still love my dad I mean he's my dad what he wants us to come visit them at some point and I know that if I see her I'm gonna tell her that if she touches my fucking daughter I will beat her to death with a hammer starting at her feet.
I don't really expect any kind of answers of this it's basically me just shouting into the ether. Feel free to comment tell me I'm a faggot or just let it disappear off the bottom page
Pic not related
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>>17785321
>I know that if I see her I'm gonna tell her that if she touches my fucking daughter I will beat her to death with a hammer starting at her feet.
If she hasn't done anything to your daughter, what the fuck makes you think it's appropriate to say this to her? You sound deranged
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>>17785327
because she abused him. duh
>>17785321
Pay for him to come visit your daughter, but make it clear you do not want her coming.
She is your step-mother, and she abused you.
Your daughter is not her granddaughter, it is your father's granddaughter.
He deserves to see her, she doesn't.
Tell him either he comes alone (without stepmom) or he doesn't come at all. His choice.
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She abused me when I was a kid.
I am terrified that she would do the same to my kid.
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Easiest way to get a bitch to suck your penis (besides paying for prostitution)?
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>>17785320
Give her love, respect, and attention.
Which it seems you're incapable of.
>easiest way to get a bitch to suck your penis
Screw off.
You're a douchebag who doesn't deserve to have his penis done diddly do-da sucked.
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Give her the fuck
Maybe give her head too i dunno
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How do I stop being a weeaboo degenerate?
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>>17785305
Well, how bad is it?
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>>17785387
It's not "I own body pillows" bad but it's "I don't go outside and jerk off visual novels" bad
It's very counter productive, especially when I want to improve myself.
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When I was 14 I decided being a weeaboo wasn't cool anymore and gave away all my manga and cosplays. It kinda made me sad for a while but years past and I just sort of forgot, now I can barely watch anime and japanese music is way too corny for me to listen to unironically. If you use this purging method, try and find some other subcultures that you like and take a leap.
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what the hell is wrong with women, like its literally gotten to the point where I don't give a shit anymore. I'm a s full time business student, while working a high paying job, I have my own place, 2 vehicles, I work out every day, don't have any addiction problems. You would think I would be in the top tier of what woman say they want, but no, there ris nothing. Almost every girl I know is going out with some coke head or some guy who is broke all the time cause he is to drunk to go into work, they basically date these assholes they have to babysit then complain they can't find a good guy.
Are all women fundamentally flawed or are they just horrible people? Any girl I talk eo even my close female friends all tell me " oh youre an amazing guy, and youre really attractive, but were good friends you will make some other girl happy." Then they proceed to go chase assholes with lifted trucks at the bars, like wtf
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>I'm a s full time business student, while working a high paying job
>Are all women fundamentally flawed or are they just horrible people?
Or maybe no one wants to date someone who doesn't have time for them?
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Man just move to eastern Europe or some shit where they aren't pants on head retarded.
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>Are all women fundamentally flawed or are they just horrible people?
No but you are. Just listen to yourself.
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tl;dr: Need to get a job. I'm getting opposing advice from influential people and I'm left dumbfounded.
So, a bit of background.
>Currently working on an undergrad thesis
>Also maintaining and implementing a web system
Both of these are more than enough reasons to stay at home. I do have responsibilities, but due to life stuff I'm forced to stay until those duties are dealt with, and only then I will be able to move forward and get something better.
However, staying home is taking a psychological toll. Being unable to socialize, always dealing with the stuff at home, and a bunch of other things that are outright toxic, are some of the effects from all of this and I seriously need to go out and do things.
My father told me that he and my mother believe that I should be seeking a job as a teacher for classes related to my area (compsci). Sadly, most jobs on that regard are about teaching how to use Office rather than the stuff I studied. Just one course should be enough to do whatever I need to.
But I'm also seeing a counselor, and I told her this. She agreed that it might be good, but not exactly as a teacher. She suggested being a clerk, because teaching is heavy on responsibilities, although being a clerk is going to be heavy on work until new year. I told that to my father and he disagreed, and mind you, he taught a lot so he knows this stuff. My counselor also said that this won't be useful for my professional development, but great for my social skills, and that I can seek being a teacher later once I'm in a better footing.
Both have their points but I can't choose for shit. I can't stay here, but I don't even know what to pick or what to do.
Thoughts?
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If you lack social skills, please, for the love of Christ, do not teach.
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>>17785306
I don't lack social skills that strongly, either. I just gotta overcome my shyness and improve my self confidence. I've given speeches for projects at college so that's something.
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>>17785344
That still sounds like you shouldn't be teaching.
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I feel nothing towards my family.
>Inb4 edgy self-proclaimed psychopath
I don't feel the need to talk to any of them. I don't feel compassion for them. They are simply people that lived in my house while I grew up. I'm 22 now and whenever I go home I feel like I'm in my old house but there are strangers in it who I've seen before.
I wasn't beat or anything as a child. My father scared me because he seemed to be always mad about something. My mother genuinely cares about me and my siblings. He's on meds now so he seems a lot friendlier but I still wouldn't be affected if any of them died.
My aunt, uncle and grandpa recently died and I couldn't feel any indifferent and feel like this is not how I am supposed to feel? I went to the funerals but felt awkward and bored around all the crying people.
Tried googling and got nothing but reddshit threads saying "me too" to the OP who posted a similar question and had to find the thread first amongst the tit-high flood of gay porn.
Is something wrong with me? What is wrong with?
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Congratulations, OP, you managed to be ungrateful and, presumably, had an uneventful childhood.
My father had a massive heart attack when I was 12, and was given a short while to live. He lasted almost 30 more years, but end result, knowing that time was precious, my family has always been very close. I feel bad for you, man.
Go out and spend some time in the real world, among people who genuinely don't give a shit about you. Travel the world, see that Europe is a pretty prison staffed with serfs and that the rest of the world is a dusky shithole that needs to be cleansed with holy fire.
When you realize how much the world will tend to fuck you, and how few the opportunities to fuck it back, you might remember that you love your parents.
Or not. Maybe you're just a shitheel. But go find out.
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>>17785227
Not every family is close and there's nothing wrong with it. Just keep in touch as much as is polite and send Christmas cards and you're set.
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Sup OP
>be me
>be 6yrs old
>parents violently arguing dor first time to my awareness
>cursing, dad slams mom against wall
>mom goin berzerk, mentions sicking cops on dad
>dad hulks the house phone clean off the wall
>mom starts leaving
>"IM TAKING THE KIDS"
>"NO ME"
>they literally begin a mini tug o war with my sister, each of them yanking back and forth on her pig tails
>im standing right there, indifferent feeling and seeing it all as ridiculous
>we're in a hotel parking lot later that night when cops mom called meet us for interview
>sister crying non stop
>i am sitting there and i shit you not, the only real consideration in my head is the fact that now i have a genuine reason and excuse to act out and do what i want
I was 6, OP.
I have had eyes wide open with sheer indifference toward everyone and everything for as long as i can remember, and everything i do and say is manipulative on a level so deep that i've only ever had this fact known by others when i wished to make it known for sake of mocking.
Is there something 'wrong' with me? Ive always been this way, so where would 'rightness' come in to the equation?
Its all a game. Its all genius, beautiful, retarded and horrendous. Just do what you want and develop as you must. Labels are for other people's understandings. You know what you feel, dont meme yourself out on the stupidity of others.
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Any depressed/suicidal bros here feel like dying just because you're tired of life and can't take the punches it throws at you? Even if I was offered a chance at a happy life I would turn it down because I'm just tired of life and want to lay down and sleep forever.
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Me 100% 24/7
My advice, if you want any, would be:
You're gonna die anyways, and the only, single thing of actual value you're taking with yourself when you do is the fun you had on the way.
Money, fame, achievements, pride, etc; bullshit.
Only them good moments you had on the way are worth it so just try and have as much fun as possible without giving a shit about anything else.
And if at some point you're ready just kill yourself. Or maybe you'll have found something that makes you happy enough to want to keep living.
Just try not hurting others on the way.
tl;dr youre dying anyways so just have fun
That's at least the conclussion i came into after a buncha years of severe depression
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>>17785225
Well, I am depressed, and also have PTSD, and while I have thought about suicide a few times in my life, I'll NEVER give up. I've been thrown horrible punches in life. Illness, death, I've nearly been murdered 3 times, family betrayal, friend betrayal, poverty, homelessness, physical and emotional abuse, fighting through danger zones (not military, more like Escape from New York style of fighting to get out), and more.
ANYWAY, the point is, you're going to die someday anyway. So why give up now? Even when life is filled with misery, you still get random moments of fleeting happiness, and you should cherish those. You can't see the future, and you never know what may or may not happen. Don't you want to find out? Committing suicide is like ripping out the last chapters of a book so no one can ever find out the ending. It's not a real end, it's a dangling plothole that the writer never finishes. Don't do that. FINISH YOUR STORY.
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Fix your mind first. Go full ascetic monk and achieve enlightenment with no dedire for happiness. Start by accepting reality as is then work from there. Im in the same boat.
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So I'm 19 and have been in love with music and composition since as far back as I can remember. I am well educated with piano but wish to pick up guitar. I remember attempting the guitar around the age of 8 but couldn't stick with it and swore that I wasn't cut for strings. Noe I've come to really regret this decision. So my question is, should I pick up guitar now, or is it too late for me to become proficient enough to do anything meaningful with it if I pursue a music career? Ever since I turned 18 I had this sort of anxiety that I should be doing tons of important things, hitting important milestones if I ever wanted to make it big like I see all these other people in their 20s doing. You can call it a pipe dream, but I'm fully confident in my abilities and all I can do is try ya know?
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>>17785178
Well do you wanna be 25 being able to play guitar, or 25 and unable to do so?
There's your answer.
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>>17785178
OP, sorry but don't pursue the career of being a musician when you can't even play the guitar.
Honestly that's so pathetic. It's like me wanting to be a professional painter when I can't even paint.
But no, you're not too old to start playing the guitar for fun. Start taking some lessons.
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>>17785182
Didn't read the musical career thing.
Fuck I wouldn't even recommend it to someone whos been playing guitar for years, it's a shitty industry and you'll be poor.
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I developed feelings for a woman in my classes about a week after we met but wanted to be friends(this is a strong word for me) immediately after talking to her. Now, about 4-5 weeks later, I revealed that I liked her while she was asking if she was being too friendly and she let me down so much easier than I expected and I appreciated that. She told me that she was married and just didn't wear her ring today so I understood why she had to ask me if she was being too friendly.
I tried my hardest to get over it and the conversations we had after we managed to change topics were amazing, it was like a burden was lifted.
but it wasn't, I'm still infatuated, I still like her more than I've liked anyone and it still hurts. I genuinely want to stay friends though, is this possible? How can I replace the romantic thoughts with platonic ones?
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>>17785190
Why would you do this to me, man
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By having a gf that is somebody else. There you can keep being friends while not worrying about relationships.
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>>17785237
This makes sense but right now I don't think that's going to happen any time soon.
Is it the only way?
Anonymous
might be going to jail 2016-11-22 02:11:16 Post No.17785171
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so I fucked up,
I met a girl on POF. said she was 18 years old. she messaged me first, asked to text, i said sure and asked for her number so i could text her first.
long story short, was on a fuck ton of cough meds (though excuses are like buttholes) and she told me she was 16. which for some reason DIDNT FUCKING REGISTER. she sent me a nude mirror pic first, two actually. she was attractive so naturally i sent a good ol D pic back,
next morning HER DAD CALLS. says they found the shit on her phone, im the only guy. apparently the girl has been institutionalized recently which i had no idea. gathering evidence from the conversation, he knows my first and last name, phone number (obv) that im 22 years old, and the city that i live a county over from (15 min away)
he isnt wanting to press charges, but he IS wanting me to help pay expenses for the institution they are sending her to, which will cost me 1200 dollars. seems like a christian fellow. decided not to press charges because god told him not to, blah blah.
but my concen is...
do i actually have to pay this guy in order to save my ass?? how fucked am i? does he have enough information to go have a legit case (if he has the convo still saved on the phone)?
any insight would be fucking awesome. please. i cant tell anyone about this. im not a fucked up person. but this mistake could seriously lead me to the brink.
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>>17785171
Honestly, this just sounds like a very clever scam. Do you have any evidence of her age or of the fact that it's her dad? It might just be random people who do this for a living. Even so, they're blackmailing you and who's to say it will stop once you pay.
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you're right. it just sounds really really legit. the girl was white and the guy talking sounds black. no evidence other than that.
so what do you say? ignore the fucker? or what?
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Lol I wouldn't worry about it man. If I were you I'd go to the police. Sounds dumb I know but if you got there first and put your story first it will look better for you because instead of the guy charging you for sexually harassing his daughter, he will be known as a blackmailer.
This is blackmail bro. Just make your story and case. You met a girl online who lied about your age and when the dad found out he decided to extort money out of you which is a crime
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I think my girlfriend is secretly turned on by bestiality.
She's a major animal person, and has mentioned on more than one occasion that she'd rather have a litter of puppies than a kid.
How do I broach this with her? I'm thinking about starting by making her bark like a dog next time we're hitting it doggy. Move from there to begging for a bone, and then into less subtle dirty talk.
Any ideas? I don't want to screw up the relationship (or necessarily let her fuck a dog), but I think it'd be pretty hot to beg for a big doggie dick to knot her while I splooge into her.
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I should also mention that we once got really drunk before fucking and she insisted that she get to wear a dog collar the whole time.
Maybe nothing, but I'm at least going to push it again.
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sounds hot, be sure to video it and post it
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>>17785130
This isn't bestiality retard. It's petplay.
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Do rebound relationships work out? Boyfriend cheated on me after a year. He got stressed out with work and school and started pouring his heart out to this girl he knew for only a week. I left him despite him protesting that they were only friends (but I read his messages to her and heard from her friend that things were getting serious, and that they kissed). He cried and apologized when I broke up with him, still trying to convince me that there was nothing between them. When he's with her, he looks happy, but when he's alone he looks miserable. He's 19, he's 24. Do you think he has just used her as an escape? Do you think they'll last?
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Once the new girl finds out your boyfriend is a cheater, she'll bail on him unless she already knows and is an idiot/terrible person. It's one of the biggest red flags in a partner's history, because if they cheated once they're likely to cheat again.
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>>17785140
She knows. He told her he was in a relationship and she didn't care. They fucked around anyways.
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>>17785145
In that case it'll probably last until one of them cheats on the other, since they both seem to consider it an acceptable option instead of working whatever issues they have out with their current partner.