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>match with guy on dating app
>he msgs first
>we eventually text
>both realize we work in the same mall
>I ask why he never says hi in person
>he says cus i look busy
>I tell him to anyway
>he did like twice
Side notes: he has a fast text response, 90% of the time he initiates the next txt convo, we've been at this for about a week and a half ish, he hasn't hit on me to the extent usual fuck boys do esp by this time
Why doesn't he initiate in person convo more or made plans or something by now?
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>>17800888
Introversion, probably
It's a lot easier to make talk through text than irl
Maybe you should initiate the next irl convo?
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I'm pretty introverted myself though, probably why I'm also overthinking this all
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>>17800888
You know it's actually not against any laws for YOU to suggest plans, right?
>Hey, I was thinking we should go for coffee tomorrow, if you're free
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sup /adv/,
so I am in love with this girl. its not some high school bullshit, ive been through that shit, had my heart broken, dealt with it, got over it, im friends with her now and no longer have feelings for her, im attracted to her but can hang out with her with no issues. but this is different, i am so in love with her it colors every aspect of my life, ive doubted and been proved wrong at every turn, just being around her makes me feel good. and, im not some beta nerd, i am alpha as fuck, what im told you people refer to as a 'Chad', i am also very high energy, have a big dick and a high libido, i attract a lot of girls who are physically attractive but quite frankly boring and uninteresting, and even those who can take it, cant actually keep up with me, she is the only one ive met who can.
anyway part of being a perfect match for my crazy ass, is she is completely fucking crazy. so she got pissed off at me a while ago and now she has a boring ass loser boyfriend who im pretty sure she got with to spite me, and now she loves him too much to break up with him even though he cant even close to keep up with her and its a fucking joke. and shes not mad at me any more but still has my fb and number blocked. and im not gonna cheat with her and certainly aint sitting around waiting so nothing i can do at this point.
so ive met this other girl, she is smart but not too smart, parties hard, and absolutely fucking gorgeous, like objectively better looking than the first girl. shes not on the same level of crazy energy but shes an interesting person and can handle me, at least in small doses. i really like her, and i dont do the empty hookup thing so, idk, i want to make love to her and see where things go. desu if i wasnt in love with the first girl id be all in on a relationship with her. but like, sooner or later the first girl will be single and at that point its only a matter of time til i leave her for the first girl
idk
oh and theyre fucking roommates
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idk the point of this post really
i guess its like, if you're a girl, would you want a hot, smart, rich, woke af, crazy, sexy guy to go out with you for awhile, and then ditch you for your roommate? or would you rather him not pursue you, and just stay as friends, and eventually have to watch him hook up with your roommate anyway only now you never even got the chance to try his dick?
not that any of this matters cuz whats gonna happen will happen and im gonna do what im gonna do.
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>>17800875
You say it's not some help go school bullshit, but then go on to type out typical high school bullshit.
You're not in love with this girl, you have feelings for her, maybe infatuated, but it's not the huge thing you're making it out to be.
She's dating another guy, so move on. If that opportunity presents itself, maybe go in with an open mind, but for now that potential opportunity shouldn't weigh on any of your decisions.
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>>17800907
>help go
Don't know where that came from. *high school
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Am I a loser for not drinking alcohol from fear of becoming an alcoholic? I am easily addicted to everything and I have never drank any alcohol because I know I will not be able to control myself.
Of course I keep this a secret to everyone but one friend because everyone around me drinks heavily and goes clubbing and tailgating.
Am I a faggot for avoiding alcohol?
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>>17800788
No.
I know alot of drinkers and not one of them is a better person because of it.
Alot of people become addicted easily so you made the right choice.
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>>17800788
No, you're a faggot for caring what other people think. Alcoholism is serious and fucked up, and if you think you're avoiding that by not drinking then more power to you. You've got to do what's right by you.
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>>17800788
You're a faggot because you keep it a secret and got a stupid reason to fear it.
Nothing wrong with not drinking.
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I have no idea what to expect asking for advice here. I'll lay out my problems and see where it goes I guess.
First thing is I am 30 and don't have a girlfriend or wife. I have never had a girlfriend, not counting the (very) short relationship (if you want to call it that) in 7th grade. And I am a virgin. Both my siblings are younger. One is married and has two kids. The other is separated (sort of, it's messed up) from his girlfriend, but they have a child.
So there's that. Every time I get together with family I feel like the odd one out, the retard that can't get his shit together. I feel like an idiot, like a loser.
For a time during my early to mid twenties I felt like I didn't care about starting a relationship. But now that I am 30 I feel very, very strongly that time is running out. I very, very much want to share my life with someone. I just don't know how.
I am socially awkward. Socially retarded, more like. I have never been able to make friends easily my entire life. Right now I don't really have any friends. I am not physically attractive, being probably 50 pounds overweight. I have a speech impediment that is frustratingly debilitating for me. I don't feel smart, even though my family and coworkers all seem to consider me quite smart.
So it basically boils down to me having essentially zero self confidence. I keep thinking if I can lose some weight, make myself look and feel better that'll help. But then another part of me shoots that down and makes arguments that it won't make a difference.
The other problem has to do with work and careers, but I'll see if anyone responds to this wall of text first.
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>>17800714
Basically, what it boils down to is: I have no idea how to gain self confidence, self discipline, and how to make friends and/or how to get a girlfriend.
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>>17800714
I've thought a lot about this kind of thing. Frankly, we think too much. Just fucking do it. Lose weight, work out, get with a speech therapist, be more social etc. You are waiting to feel confident before doing these things, but confidence cones much later. Just fucking do it. Get a gym buddy or trainer.
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Yo' man, I ain't got much time but here goes;
What most people do is wake up one day and think "Why am I such a big useless piece of shit". Effectively, you've not tended a garden for 30 years and then suddenly you're like "well, I don't have a fucking water fountain or anything, my garden is just a big fucking mess and I hate it."
Now, that's fine. But you just need to make small changes, do a little bit each day, and you'll end up with an amazing garden in no time. The only trouble with ourselves and our self-confidence is, we tend to focus too much on how bad and how immovable it all is. Note the picture you've painted to us, it's a large, solid object, that's hard to move. We add things on to make it worse- I haven't got my shit together, I'll never change, time is running out!
None of it matters. It is time for you to change and for that change to be rooted in action. You will not immediately feel better and you will be confused, but push through.
>So it basically boils down to me having essentially zero self confidence. I keep thinking if I can lose some weight, make myself look and feel better that'll help. But then another part of me shoots that down and makes arguments that it won't make a difference.
Confidence is fetishized a lot, but the life of a confident person is more enjoyable than that of a non-confident person. The real confidence comes from within, with weight and appearance only counting on the surface. You can tell a confident attractive person from an unconfident attractive person.
Trust in yourself to make the right decisions and move forward, you can and will do it.
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My gf broke up with me in early October because I was smothering her and preventing her from living her life freely. We then had a fight because I tried to convince her friends to get her to talk with me. We haven't talked since.
I've been in therapy for several weeks and have started getting better. There's still a long way to go but we're making progress.
Could I/Should I try and talk with her and start another relationship? It wasn't perfect, but I loved her and I'm learning how to communicate and not be toxic.
Is there such thing as a second chance /adv/?
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>>17800702
Move on and find someone new
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>>17800715
How come?
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>>17800702
I'm sorry to say anon, but it seems like this is the type of relationship that you might just need to let go... You can try to talk to her, not now obviously but maybe like a couple months from now, which sounds like a long time, but believe me. It'll help clear both your head, and her head, and help give you time to realize what you want to do.
Listen good though. If you're going to try again with this girl you need to not be petty, stop smothering her, women (as you know) hate that with a passion... Let her live how she wants, you also need to realize that she's not yours. she's her own person and free to make her own choices, DO. NOT. GIVE. HER. ADVICE. She broke up with you because she felt like you were controlling her, and giving off that vibe when you two aren't even together anymore is a bad sign... you also ABSOLUTELY need to make sure that she's actually willing and open to the idea of trying again... Because if she isn't, then trying to go after her will just be a giant waste of your time.
If she's willing to talk to you, then keep it neutral, no sappy bullshit, and no aggression towards her, keep the conversations to a minimum... Small talk, she's not your girlfriend, or even your friend anymore, she's an acquaintance, a random girl that you once knew, and the quicker you accept that. The better.
TL;DR - you can try again if she's down... But give it time, she's probably still hurt from your break up.
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I couldn't catch a ride with the bus due to working overtime tonight, so I asked my cousin if he could give me a lift home. He said no because he needed to go to work tomorrow, so I trusted him and took an expensive cab ride home instead. Turns out he lied; the moment I walked in the door I saw my cousin there, him and his friend were laughing and he made a comment about me having 'great timing'. No apology, nothing, he just laughed at me. He's currently playing video games downstairs, doubt he'll be going to bed anytime soon.
I feel pretty hurt by this, not sure what to do about it. Should I let it slide? Confront him? I kind of don't feel like associating with him anymore, to be honest. He pulls stuff like this every once in a while, I'm tired of being made to feel like shit because of it. I mean I'd never want to force him to do anything for me, but the fact that he'd lie like this gets to me.
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>>17800694
dont do shit for him until he gets the message. dont ask him for shit either. dont create elaborate convo's either
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>>17800694
Cut him out of life. Don't waste time and effort on people who don't care about you
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>>17800713
>>17800708
Both of these are retarded. OP your cousin doesn't owe you anything. Like anyone you have to know who is reliable (eg parents, certain friends etc) and who will be unreliable (ie your cousin). Just keep this in mind when you ask favours from him, likewise when he asks favours from you. I have brothers at both ends of the spectrum (very reliable vs reliably unreliable) and I don't hate one over the other for it, it's just who they are.
Anonymous
Assistance before it is too late 2016-11-27 05:29:12 Post No.17800574
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Assistance before it is too late 2016-11-27 05:29:12 Post No.17800574
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Assistance before it is too late
Anonymous
2016-11-27 05:29:12
Post No. 17800574
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What do you get when you have a person with two people he absolutely hates.
And he has no choice to live with them and deal with everything they spew and do.
I call that two homicides.
>Gag reel
Btw, I have been thinking of killing my step mother a lot. Espicially when she infuriates me with her bullshit. Not to mention how detailed my murderous thoughts are while being detailed and varied. It's become catharsis to not murder her on the spot.
How do I get rid of these thoughts and emotions?
>Inb4 go see a psychologist
Been there done that.
What do?
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It's called fucking moving out if you don't like it. Assuming you're actually 18, your father and stepmother are under no obligation to deal with your manchild bullshit.
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>>17800577
But, how can they deal with my manchild bullshit if their dead?
Tch double standards.
Or I could commit suicide if that makes you feel any better.
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>>17800577
Ya know I never asked to be born. He could have just ejaculated into a melon so I didnt have to deal with this fuckong existence. I never asked to suffer for so long without knowledge of what I was getting into.
As soon as world war 3 comes, im going to be the first at the door to draft.
Yor whole comment is fucking useless and you should hang yourself.
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Everytime I see some degenerate slut in a crop top I just want to ring jerb fucking beck and choke her to death
How do I contain my rage?
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Stop looking at Kylie Jenner's snaps and instagram?
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You're just mad because you know you couldn't fuck them if you tried. Go do some pushups and buy nicer clothes.
Kylie is fake af anyway. Look up her old pictures.
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>>17800537
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
Why am I unhappy? Why am I so apathetic? Why do I have such low self-esteem? Why do I overthink all the tims? Why can't I accomplish anything?Please help
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Do you masturbate often?
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>>17800536
Your're unhappy, overthink shit and apathetic BECAUSE you have a low self-esteem.
You not accomplishing anything (and external factors like shitty parenting and surrounding) lead to it.
Basically start doing shit, you're going to fail at some, do decent at others and slowly raise your self-esteem, fixing the other problems at the same time.
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>>17800553
What should I start doing? I'm failing my first semester at uni and I have no motivation to do anything
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According to my friend, I am incredibly giving and considerate. But what she warned me was that because I'm so giving and considerate, I can easily be taken advantage of. Case in point, the last girl I dated took advantage of how giving I was.
How can I not be taken advantage of next time? All I know is how to give.
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>>17800533
Well there's an important distinction: If you "give" things/time/attention of your own free will, because you want to, that's fine. But if they start ASKING you to make real sacrifices of time, money, etc, and they're offering nothing in return, they're taking advantage. If you find that you have a "friend" whose friendship is consistently expensive, you're dealing with a whore.
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>>17800543
I should've said something more like "expecting" or demanding," rather than "asking." There's nothing wrong with asking for a favor sometimes, I just mean when it becomes a pattern, and if don't seem to be there for you when they don't get what they want
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>>17800543
>>17800549
Right. I would always give because I wanted to and I liked her a lot. But she never did anything for me in return. I wasn't expecting it... but it would have been nice to show that my actions were appreciated. I think it might have come from her upbringing and being used to getting what she wanted... She was a very upper class WASP
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I am an attractive girl (and i hate saying that) but it causes me so many problems, i either end up with insecure guys who try to leave before i hurt them or possessive abusive guys. I don't know what to do and i realize this sounds sort of dramatic but its real. Every relationship ever ends in "ur too good for me" or abuse. In my head I tell myself i will just be alone but I know thats not what I want. Any advice?
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Do what countless other women have done for centuries and make yourself less attractive so that type won't be an issue.
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>>17800486
you can't say you're attractive and not post pics. tits or gtfo.
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>>17800495
lol thank u. i really have tho....i stopped wearing make up and i mean i still dress nice because it makes me happy but like what am i supposed to do look like a wreck?
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Would like input/guidance
Not greentexting, I'm bad at it
A couple of nights ago I went out with a few buddies, we went to a bar where I got drunk and started kissing a few girls. The problem with that is I'm in a relationship with a girl that I've been with for 2 years and I've been away from her for a little under a year now so we're in a long distance relationship. This is the first time I've done something like this and for some reason It's not guilt that I feel but I suddenly feel as though we aren't meant to be. I want to break up with her but we've spoken about marriage and kids and so much of our future it feels wrong to break it off at this point but it also feels wrong to lead her on with the thought that I want her for my entire life. it just doesn't feel the same now. I don't see a spark in our relationship or a future with her where I'm happy. What would you guys do?
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How often do you visit her?
I've been making a LDR work for a while, but I feel it's because I make a point to see her every 3-4 weeks
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>>17800485
I can't see her often, typically every 6 months to a year. When I do see her sex is great and all, but even in person sometimes it feels like there's something missing
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>>17800505
Endbit famalam
Let her know and let her go
Anonymous
Why do girls do this? 2016-11-27 04:45:20 Post No.17800474
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Why do girls do this? 2016-11-27 04:45:20 Post No.17800474
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I've lurked here for about 3 years or so and rarely if ever post, but I had an encounter today that made me think of /adv/ and I wanted to share it
I was at my Local grocery store and had been checking out. I noticed that my store was offering delivery for grocieries and asked the clerk about it, as I did cute grocery girl came over to our checkout lane to help bag my 3 items. She seemed very willing to engage in our coversation, even proceeded to take an info flyer for the delivery immediately after I grabbed one. She then told me about how she loved VR and was getting a vive and that she had a 1060 to run it? I found this interesting as I work with computers daily, I guess she assumed that I was familiar and Into games and all that, which I am. She talked about setting it up and bringing it over to her boyfriends house to try it on his pc. She was pleasant overall, but I must admit as soon as she mentioned the word boyfriend I lost all interest, it was like some switch in my head flipped and I no longer had interest in her at all.
Looking back on this in retrospect seems like a REALLY shitty thing to do. I mean, here's this cute girl, actually talking to me with no initiative on my part, about hobbies that align with my own, why wouldn't I want to befriend her? And I think it's because a part of me was upset at her because of her behaviour towards me, was unnecessarily nicer your average check out person, which lead to me having thoughts of should I ask this girl for her number?
However, the moment she mentioned her relationship I was upset because now that opportunity to get to know her, date, meet someone, all that stuff was now an impossibility, that WAS a possibility before she mentioned a bf.
Now I can't fault cute grocery girl for having a bf, but I must wonder why was she so extra friendly to me and chatty? Only to follow up with talking about her bf 2 sentences later. Part of me thinks she's just being nice, but was she messing with me?
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I actually laughed when I read this
>why was this girl, whose job it is to be nice to people, being nice to me??
It's not her fault you live in a fantasy world.
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>>17800474
Most people are not consistent in their ideas and behavior. I am in a serious relationship, I would not ever cheat, yet I talk to all sorts of attractive women because it gives me a rush and a romantic tantalization. Even if one of these girls says she has a boyfriend, I don't stop talking to them because of it; additionally, women tend to do this because few have anything else to say. This isn't about misogyny, most women don't really have hobbies outside of ones involving social interaction of some sort, and their boyfriends happen to be one of the most important and time-consuming aspects of that.
Don't look too deeply into things like this, would be my advice, humans and women in particular can be fairly inconsistent.
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>>17800474
It's not a shitty thing to do. Be honest, do you really need a new friend right now? You had a nice interaction with a stranger, it's fine to just leave it at that. You don't have to stay in touch and form lifelong platonic connections with every nice person at the grocery store, lol. There's tons of nice people out there, but a real friendship takes real work
You Guys gotta help me!
I've become such a fucking piece of shit since high school .. Dropped out of college three times after not even caring about courses, abusing drugs like adderall, alcohol and weed, continuously for six years out of high school , leaving some intense brain dysfunction. I was always planning of suicide if it came to this, but my poor family!
Now I'm trying to forge a path for myself that would lead to some sort of life satisfaction. I can't do drugs anymore , at least not often. Drinking has seriously fucked up my kidneys and I have acute liver failure. What should I do? I really need this you guys
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>>17800459
Also a chronic masturbator, who is constantly just screwing himself over. I have no pride, and I really should die.
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>>17800459
I meant to say acute kidney failure. Does this make me look stupid
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I know drugs seem counter intuitive, but magic mushrooms has gotten me out of a few downward spirals.
If you're strong enough to do it without the drugs, start controlling your impulses. Meditate on what you need to do and do it.
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Gf is telling me to be 100% open with emotions but everytime a girl has let me do this I've become an emotional baby and they lose interest in me. What do
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Don't do it, it's a shit test.
It will only hurt you in the long run. Be honest and communicate with her, but do not say things that would be better left unsaid.
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>>17800455
Yeah, don't be open emotionally. You can be open with your experiences and concerns and desires, that build intimacy. But don't look weak.
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Find better people.