Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3248. page

Goals:
>Stop being such a socially awkward twit/actively develop social skills.
>Finish up my undergrad degrees and transfer ASAP
>Quit weed for good (2 weeks clean, record's 2.5 months - Had other drug probelms before, but bud's the only one I'm still having trouble kicking)
>Learn to improve every aspect of my life as much as I can and teach others how to as well once I've found my way

>>17803512

Try joining the group one of these days and have a chat, perhaps we could be of help down the line.

Working almost a year at a shitty Asian company. I worked a low level position where I was in HR, but not really so I was just used as a floater. I had less and less shit to do as time passed. The "CEO" was a dick and didn't respect anyone and just talked down to them. Just a short asshole. Worked with a convicted murderer. No one was happy there. I didn't feel like I had a legitimate job because I wasn't doing shit and I wasn't getting paid much of anything. What else... once I got into a massive car accident and two days in to me taking a few days off, he blew up my phone demanding I come into work. He later fired me.

Then I was unemployed for about ten months and it was pretty fucking brutal. I got lucky with a temp agency and they placed me at a really cool company where I do HR. They made me permanent not too long ago, so I'm really happy about that.

Just keep plugging away. Things will eventually come along. Keep bettering yourself.

>>17803331
OP here. Basically I did all the right things, held an internship for a bit then I graduated and couldn't find SHIIIT for work. Some local place was hiring for a dishwasher so I applied (note I was making like 15 $per hr) At this time I was processing for what I thought was my dream job but eventually realized it was my dream career and that I had only considered one gig. I this time took the time to test for 15 different positions and one of them just hired a group unfortunately I missed that one but should be in the upcoming batch which is months away. Wish me luck. I have held 2 shit kitchen jobs and one manufacturing job since I graduated. The manufacturing job was great except for the low pay and basically complete reign over the place since I worked by myself and managed all except my boss would fail to give me heads for for logistics and what not. fuh man..y this so hard

>>17803349
What did you major in?

Consider applying to temp agencies, honestly. It worked for me.

It is just human nature. I've once covered myself in my own shit and licked all of the fungus off of my shower and I am completely normal. It is a symptom of being alone, and as long as no one sees you doing it, you should be fine and do these things, but not doing it so much that it interferes with your life. Indulging in these things can provide great moments of pleasure, but these are only temporary (obviously). For example, I scrubbed out my mouth for 20+ minutes after licking the fungus and felt utterly disgusted at it. As long as these things don't hurt yourself, cause people to see you, or cause you to commit a crime (ex. capturing someone, killing someone) then it is perfectly normal and you will be fine.

Just look at the rest of 4chan and some other sites and you will see it is quite common when people are (or think...) they are anonymous.

>>17803312
>and i am completely normal.

anon.. i don't know how to tell you this but no.. no you're not

>>17803312
Well thankfully my deviations are confined to just watching sick shit, though I did some shameful things in the past.
I'd rather not be like you desu, no offence

[cont...]

Now, she tells me that she needs this guy because he pays for EVERYTHING. Her flights to and from home during breaks, her car payment, her phone bill, her textbooks. AND he gives her extra money that she sends home to keep her family off the street, to get groceries, and to use the phone. She's totally financially dependent on him. There's no way she could make enough money to do all these things if she cut him off and got a real job. She can't even cut him off for another sugar daddy because, not surprisingly, it's hard to find a guy who will pay all this for NOT sex.

I love her, I really do, but I'm not sure how to cope with the fact that my girlfriend is under the thumb of this guy who want's nothing more than to whisk her off or at least get into her pants - both of which would obviously kill our relationship. And honestly, as many times as she's proven her love to me, it's hard to trust anyone enough to be fine with this type of weird polygamy stuff - even if she says she has no feelings for him whatsoever. Any advice?

Sorry this is so long...

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>>17803175
>dating a whore

I wonder what could go wrong

This thread is an aggressive waste of time

I can totally get why this would bug you. Does he know about you?

>>17803159

confidence is defined as:
>the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

so confidence simply means having a truth to back up your confidence.

there are a lot of reasonably good looking betas out there who do a lot worse than their similar looking alphas. why?

because the alpha has confidence. confidence not in his looks, but in the consequences. he knows that if he asks out a girl the worst thing that can happen is rejection. he knows the judgement of the girl does not matter cuz either they are civil, which means its literally about whether or not the two are a 'match'. OR, the girl is judgy, kind of a bitch about rejection, and you realize, wow shes a bitch, even if i did happen to be her type, why would anyone want to date someone who treats people like that?

they know that asking someone out has no real consequences. if its a no, their life is the same as it was an hour ago.

they are also confident in knowing htat the girl they are approaching is 'in their league' so that its not a guaranteed 'no'.

tyler durden is literally just brad pitt. that is brad pitts face and body. so that kind of confidence has its back up. to be THAT kind of confidence you need to literally be as smart and attractive as him.

but if you're not, the confidence i talked about above is common and good.

>>17803173
This this this

>>17803159
>>17803173

\and to clarify, if you don't have the 'truth' to back it up, its not confidence. its arrogance.

you can pretend to have confidence in some cases, but if you're just an ugly fuck, you seem arrogant. in many cases the 'fake it til you make it' applies to the first type of confidence, accepting that you arent perfect but you're not bad, so there is no reason to be afraid of rejection.

I call it dating a person

>>17802979
thanks anon, not OP but i'm glad people like you exist

monitoring this thread because i'm half chinese, half english

i have found that white people have always (ALWAYS) seen me as asian (exception of 1 or 2 people, after spending a lot of time with them)
and asian people almost always see me as white.

i've had 3 serious girlfriends, 1 chinese, 1 white, 1 indian (current). chinese one definitely saw me as white. the white one saw me as the mix that i am. the indian also sees me as the mix that i am.

to add to the confusion, i was born in country A, grew up in country B, and have citizenship for country A and C, and permanent residency in country B.
In the process of obtaining citizenship in country D, where i live now.

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Question

Can you name a single well-known Asian woman who married an Asian man? They don't even have to be married, engaged or even seriously dating is fine.

Heck, can you name a single well-known half Asian woman who is even dating/married to an Asian man?

Asian woman and white male is the default. It's Asian female Asian male that is the anomaly

>>17802956

the following advice is my copy paste. it is intended for meeting women, but its not exactly specific to them and honestly it works even better with making platonic male friends because they are more open to hanging out. here we go:

>>17802959
>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.

give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.

doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.

>>17802963
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in

so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.

they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.

if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.

you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.

it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.

>>17802858
Kys my man

Quadruple homicide suicide

Why thr fuck would you agree to that

>>17802863
at this point, I would consider it if I didn't have kids. the cunt really guilt trip'd me. fuck

all the shit I mentioned we did (public, threesome) were also all her idea.

>>17802831
>>17802831
>>17802831
I just told her I didn't want to wait on her any longer. I'd been waiting for so long to have her back, and she did go back to this guy since she'd been here on Friday. I don't know what they did, nor do I want to, I just want to move on and forget about her, and find a way to be genuinely happy without her. Our son is an amazing child and I feel so grateful for the wonderment he brings to my life, but beyond that I feel desolated and empty. How do we move on from these emotional bonds after we accept them never to be again? I don't ever want her with me again, but that part of me that sees the mother of our son always wants her coming home.

I don't have friends, nor do I make them well. I generally despise being social, and prefer to be alone in most cases, other than a sporadic fling that I never indulge in. I don't have any family where I'm at, the people I have supporting me are my landlord and his wife, my neighbors, and my ex's family. I don't have anyone else to ask anymore, because none of them want to hear it.

>>17802831
Op, she needs to go in for a psychological evaluation. This sounds like Bi-polar disorder with psychotic features. Individuals with this particular mental illness have poor judgement, take risks on a whim, and sometimes cannot function in society without a caretaker basically. If she does not get help she will end up loosing her job, and who knows what else.

It is not your problem, but since you have a child with her you need to educate yourself about this. If you were married I would tell you to seek out proving mental incompetence in court for her to be treated because she is not thinking clearly. However, since you are not you would have to reach out to her next of kin and they would have to do that if she refuses to seek help.

I do wish you and your son the best, and I hope she gets medical help.

>>17803042
Based on what I've seen and what's she's told me I think she more fits the bill for a dissociative disorder, which is really no help to know at all unless I were a doctor. Hoping she does take care of herself, but that's not my concern any more.

>>17802786

without context im going to say, no, you should drop out and become a mechanic.

>>17802787
Hmmmm

>>17802786
I hate spoiled brats like you OP

As romantic as that may seem, it's no good in real life. Do you speak the language in her country? Do you know the best forms of transportation? Does she have the space to accommodate a surprise guest? Is she extremely busy when you go visit her and unable to actually spend time with you?

There's just way too many contingencies. And, frankly, it's a dick move to just do this without her being prepared at all. Don't do it, man. Tell her, let her be part of the plans, let her get excited about it. Don't just show up. If things go wrong you will have wasted all the money for nothing.

I would tell you to tell her before buying but it's obviously too late to do that. So tell her now, so she has time to prepare and make sure her schedule is free and all that.

>>17802753
>As romantic as that may seem, it's no good in real life. Do you speak the language in her country? Do you know the best forms of transportation? Does she have the space to accommodate a surprise guest? Is she extremely busy when you go visit her and unable to actually spend time with you?

Very practical reply. In answer to your questions.

Yes
Yes
Yes
This I do not know and it is indeed an issue, and I would indeed feel like a dick if she had something actually important to attend to at that time ( in which case, I wouldn't make the trip at all, tickets were cheap as fuck, Thanks Ryanair ) and it's only for 4 days.

Thanks for taking the time.

lol

i didnt think betas like this actually existed

>>17802716

Nothing. Your first time will probably suck. It'll get better then though
Just open your mind, don't be afraid to try and communicate

>>17802727
Noooooooo. Why would it suck?

>>17802739

You'll be nervous since you're a virgin. And being nervous ruins sex
Well, if it's your bf and you're really comfortable with him it still can go well

>>17802689
Warehouse work. Forklift operator. Construction. All three of these jobs have a wide array of applications so there's a multitude of fields that require them

>>17802698
also problem is I live in the suburbs.
Closest city is Philly but it's an hour away

>>17802703
I take it you have no transportation?

Get transportation. Work the highest paying job you can find within your transportation means and save up money to get a car and insurance. Then look for another job.

I used to drive 120 miles a day round trip for work. I just graduated college and I needed a job so I took it. I worked there for a year while I looked for another job. Luckily now I work about 10 miles away.

did she talk to you before she broke up about what your "friends" told her? are you sure she isn't just going to break up with you again when someone says shitty things about you?
also, did you kick the shit out of your so called friends for talking shit behind your back in interfering in a relationship they had no right to fuck around with?

Use her for a cum dumpster and then dump her. It's her fault for believing the lies of someone else. She didn't even confront you about your supposed "shit talking". Why do you want a gf that did not trust you?

>>17802678
>At first I'm like fuck no. I'm no ones plan B.
First instinct is always the best. Cuck Larry then dump her.

In my experience, which is more extensive than I would like to admit, if you have to ask yourself this question, go get some help. Please do, and don't procrastinate, because procrastination won't help, and you might well need it. Seriously, got talk to someone. Please.

That joke isn't funny anymore

>>17802674
about two weeks, consecutively.