how do i remove blackheads?
thanks in advance
>>17822992
Keep skin clean, you can also buy strips or things to remove them.
>>17823224
tried the strips and i keep my face clean, none of those worked
>>17823230
I've seen them removed manually many times before. I'm sure there is some type of clinic you could go to where they would pull them all out, then give you something to help heal the pores and keep them clean.
So I fell for this girl, because she was cute, sweet and quite. Not a slutty type, not a basic bitch type, not a 'post selfies in provocative positions on instagram' type. Just a quite, homely type of girl. And she never had any relationships (longest is 2 weeks so yeah). Had low self esteem, only ever got with 3/10 guys.
Then I come along, straight up 8/10, was her first kiss, and her longest relationship (6 months). I loved her and treated her so good, she even said she felt her self esteem improving coz of me, done many things for each other, opened up to each other, I took her virginity, we were so close.
Then she breaks up with me out of nowhere, nothing major happened, 2 weeks later she gets with some ugly guy that lasted 3 days. Fast forward 2 months and we've just argued on/off, her saying she don't want me anymore, she's moved on (how can she move on so easily even though I was basically her first love?). That she doesn't care about me anymore, we've said hurtful things to each other, she even meets up with me but we just argue. I've tried so hard to put myself out there, willing to fix things, to be together, but she just acts like I cheated on her or something and pushes me away.
Wtf is going on? I just want her back, don't tell me to just 'move on'.
>>17822989
Move on. She already did. Do you really want back someone that treats you do bad?
>>17822989
It sounds like she isn't at all ready for intimacy. I had a girl like this before, and its something only she can fix. Best you can do is move on and find a girl who is mentally fit for a relationship.
>>17822989
Sorry, but you gotta move on. /adv/ stands for "Advice" not "Validation". Sometimes, the advice we give is not the stuff you want to hear, but the stuff you need to hear. There's more women, plenty more, around 3.5 billion of them, don't worry about it.
I need a reality check, adv...
Backstory is that my fiance's ex has heterochromia (one eye is blue, one is green).
Today we were at a family gathering and someone mentioned the phenomenon and he went absolutely overboard about it. How gorgeouse it is, how insanely beautiful, yadayada. Even after everyone has long moved to another topic, he kept trying to bring the topoc back to it, going on about how special it is. He overdid it so much that it didn't only weird me out.
Wtf is going on? I suspect that this wasn't just about heterochromia... Is he not over her?
Beat the shit out of him and tell him to take his eyes off your girl.
>>17822935
Have you even read the op?
>>17822938
That the guy is family? So what? Just a punch to wake him up.
Hi /adv/
I've come to the realisation that I'm talent-less. There is nothing I can do well that goes beyond cleaning my flat or being unemployed or being shit at socialising. I thought I was good at drawing, I'm not. I thought I was good at videogames, I'm not. I thought I was smart, I'm not. Etc etc.
I'm pretty much useless at everything. I know that's an extremely negative take on life and you might tell me that "there has to be something you're good at" but there's literally nothing. No part of me of a person is of an average level of aptitude and skill that can be considered useful. I'm shit.
What do I do?
>>17822126
>No part of me of a person is of an average level of aptitude and skill that can be considered useful.
You named only one relevant thing, drawing. It's not something you improve by "being talented" just like any other skill it's about practice.
How long did you practice it to decide that you're not good at it?
>>17822126
I feel somewhat similar
talent is overrated, you just need practice and dedication to get good at anything
I heard a quote from Bob Dylan (who just won a nobel prize for literature btw) the other day, where he said that the trick to writing a great song is to first write a thousand awful ones.
Goes a bit hand in hand with what Edison said about genius being 99% perspiration 1% inspiration. You'll never get anywhere if you just give up. Lets see some of your art and maybe we can give you some advice.
Anyone else so terrified of approaching the opposite sex (or same sex if you swing that way) because of the chance of coming off creepy?
It's been a consistent drain on my life for over ten years now. The main reason why I'm so quiet and don't bother socialising (not even with other guys). Why I don't avoid simply being in the same room as the opposite sex. And after the hectic, harrowing experiences of actually being called creepy in the past, and the ghastly shit people put you through for it, the simple thought alone makes my anxiety skyrocket; even hearing the word "creep" or variations of it has been enough to induce panic attacks.
And with a similar experience happening again this year, I'm starting to go back into my suicidal habits of yore. Self-harm for the first time in years. Been writing my will and good-bye letters to loved ones just in case. Wanting to hit the bottle more. And have started to cease contact with friends and family. It's just a constant dread and exhaustion that, albeit slowly, has gotten heavier and dismantling with time. Even when I try to avoid people as a means of postponing that.
But it looks like it's going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
>>17821958
Anon, do you know why she called you creepy?
I don't want to give you trite advice like 'just get out there and do it', without knowing the back story. But it sounds like you're in a serious situation; I can assure you that women that are not terrifying do exist (I hope that I am one, but tbqh I spend most of my time holed up in my room reading and avoiding people too, so maybe that's the problem).
>>17821958
dude girls arent worth throwing you family away, I did that and her leaving me was honestly the most amazing thing to happen to my relationships with my dysfunctional broken family. The more you try force a relationship to come the less satisfaction you will get from it and the less likely it will occur, stop trying and 80% of the time it kinda just happens. Focus on yourself, kick the self harm habits and always remember; No one can hate you like you hate you and if they do fuck 'em
I'm gay, and even I have grown to fear the word "creeper."
I can tell you from befriending women for so long, people can be pretty ugly towards whoever gets called creepy. Enough to be pretty fucking traumatic. It's essentially "nigger" for men sometimes. And the worst part is: it's not the girls themselves who take it out on the creeps, but her friends and other men who do some pretty awful shit to the guy.
Don't piss off the wrong people, Anon. They will take it as far as possible.
Should I feel bad, or help in any way?
>With girl for 3 years
>She suddenly tells me she isn't in love with me anymore and we break up
>Very next day she is living with a new guy, who is a drug dealer
>I cut her out of my life and pretend she didn't exist
>Fast forward a year and a half (now), I saw her on facebook
>Looks like fucking death, still lives with the guy, but she actually looks like she is dying, probably addicted to drugs
>Has like 10 gofundme ads trying to raise money, and trying to sell old clothes for like $5 on facebook
At first I had an audible laugh, but now I kind of feel bad. She went from having a solid life with me, to living in a dump in the worst part of town, with a drug dealer and is essentially begging for money on facebook.
Should I actually feel bad? Because I feel that I should, but I just really don't and actually find it quite hilarious.
nah I don't blame you, would be satisfying in a way
Don't go there!
>>17823229
Yeah, I kind of feel like its justice in a way.
>>17823236
what?
> start dating this girl
> she's great
> has some problems but its nothing that can't be dealt with
> we've been officially dating for like a week
> last night I was over at her apartment and she puts a key on my lap
> its a key to her apartment
> before my mind can process she says "dont freak out its just so you can lock the door on your way out"
> she had to leave for work early and I was gonna sleep in
do you think that this has some deeper meaning?
is it a big deal?
am I overthinking this?
You are probably overthinking it. She literally told you why she gave the key. She trusts you enough to lock the door and nothing else. She will probably ask for it back later.
>>17823131
what if she doesn't ask for it back later?
should I give it back to her?
>>17823135
Just look what you wrote - you overthinking it.
So,
When I met my girlfriend she had lost a bunch of weight..
5 years later and she gained a whole lot. A lot more than she had before she started losing weight.
She's my favorite person in the world. But lately it's been turning me off. Sometimes I'll get soft in the middle of sex when I see everything moving. Lights off helps a lot.
I try to start diets with her but she doesn't want to give up pastas and cheese and bread and sweets and she keeps eating like shit.
She's always pressed for time and stressed out and doesn't want to work it off.
She also blames birth control.
I don't know what do? I don't want to break up with her because she's great and losing her over something like weight sounds awful.
And I can't tell her her chuck is turning me off.
Any advice?
>>17822899
think about what you want. cuz advice isn't going to tellyou what you want. its going to tell you what other people want out of a situation that they aren't in.
we are not dating her. we dont have the good times. or the bad times. we dont know your potential, or lack thereof.
the best you can do is take a few days by yourself, lots of hot showers and think about what the options are, and which one is the most desirable.
I could sit here and tell you that replacing greenbeans with noodles makes great alfredo, or how cauliflower instead of noodles makes GREAT spaghetti. it'd be 1/4 of the calories and just as delicious. however, you already know that even if she tried this she'd fail, cuz she simply doesn't want to lose weight.
your options are as follows
>break up with her becuase its not working
>stay with her, indefinitely, until you break up for a different reason.
why do you want to saty wtih her? and here's the tricky part: don't use past experiences. the past, the good times before, none of that matters. what matters is how you actually feel now ,and how you see the future playing out.
and for the record, my choice would be leaving her. but im pretty independent.
I feel as though I'm with her because I need her.
She helps me move forward and we will always have good times.
It's just rough thinking that one day we'all have kids and go to the beach and I won't be happy looking at her back rolls.
She put underwear over her hanging stomach.
She herself is getting upset with her gains, but when I'm not looking she'll buy candy or cover obscene things with nacho cheese.
I just want her to better herself, ya know?
But I can't be like, "Hey baby, you've gotten really fat."
How fat she is will determine if it's a lost cause.
How fat is she OP? Post pics of her or equivalent of her size.
How do you make a life with no purpose more tolerable?
>>17822860
find purpose.
>>17822872
What kind of purpose can you have when you're not smart or passionate and can't have a family?
>>17822881
Passionate is something you become not something you are born with. There is a ton of self-help content tak can help you figure these things out. You can begin here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3vgN_cqrIA
Are these shit tinder pics / am I ugly? Never tried this before and I can't get one response. I'm 28.
dont bother m8
You're not particularly ugly, but you're not attractive either.
>>17822816
>open pics
>hahaha
see:
>I'm 28.
>pic related
Tldr; asked friends for advice, not really helpful, no idea what to do with dependent gf.
So recently, I have started an anonymous Twitter to rant, talked to my friends, taken dumb quizzes.
But I am living with my gf of 6ish months and we have known each other for 6ish years. We have very aligned long term goals and such. We moved in with each other fairly recently in a new location to both of us(3 months ago) and things are tough. She finally found a job in new location (weekends currently) and I will likely still be taking care of all the finances for a while. We barely sleep together even just sleeping and sex is rare (last try was I think October) because of her own issues.
We recently (yesterday) talked about stuff, not arguing, calm discussion of how we were doing. We are 'ok'.
I do love her and she has been there for me for my hardships, but idk, in all honesty, my mindset is that things will keep waning down.
Tldr double combo; I think I feel like she holds more cards than I do.
>move in together after 3 months
>you're financially dependent on her
>sex is already dropping in frequency 3 months in
Better find some other sugar momma, because this isn't going to last.
>>17822778
>Figuring out you are a sugar daddy with no benefits.
Neat.
dat page 2, cmon 4chan, rip into me more
ok /adv/ I don't know if this is the best place for this but I'll try here anyway. Here goes...
I am in love with my really good friend. We met at work and I've known her for 5+ years. We became decent friends over the course of those years and have both dated other people on and off. Now we're both single and we've grown really close over the past few months. We've been talking/texting more, hanging out more, all that kind of stuff. Now I have developed feelings for her. I really care about this girl. A lot.
We still work together and work really well together on top of that. But I don't want to mess things up not only for our friendship but for our professional relationship as well. A lot of the time we get along great and she's awesome. But every once in a while she gets a little distant and weird, but then goes back to being normal. It's so strange. I don't know what to think of it.
cont...
>>17822738
Anyway I'm seeing her tonight and I'm thinking of just telling her how I feel. But I don't know. Ugh this shit is driving me insane and I need some /adv/
I hope this is the right place for this kind of thing, /r9k/ seems apt but they're as retarded as I am...
>>17822742
generally i say tell them. becuase romance doesn't fade out, its not the way our evolution is programmed. its not until a man gets a flat rejection that he can find closure.
otherwise it just festers and gets worse and you start acting weird.
but you do work together so there is that.
You know that you can still be friends of she rejects you or evento you might get the chance again in the future.
Just dont act salty
What would you do if you were gonna be homeless in 30 days and you didn't have much money or anyone to stay with?
>>17822734
I would spend 30 days looking for a place to live
Post more info about your circumstances
Where are you?
Do you have a job?
How much money do you have?
Do you have a car?
This is not /r9k/
>>17822734
id be letting old dudes suck me off for about 100 bucks a pop. i would then use that money (assuming that my current situation couldnt be saved) to find a new living situation.
i would settle for living in a studio with 5 dudes if thats what it took, because im not dumb enough to think that the only two options are 'the american dream' and 'homelessness'.
if mexicans can fit like 30 people in an apartment, i can share a studio until im back on my feet.
>>17822734
Bump for more suggestions. I might be there soon too op.
I'm barely 18 and I've had BPD for a while now.
It's one of the worst disorders to have and I just can't cope.
The manic episodes are extremely euphoric, but when I get sad I want to kill myself.
BPD is also accompanied with very unstable interpersonal relationships, ranging from idealization to devaluating and I've been going through that a lot.
The worst thing is, there is absolutely no medication for it. 10% of people with BPD will commit suicide, and 70% will at least try to do it.
Some facts about BPD - and me:
>Extreme fear of abandonment
>Molding yourself so others would like you
>Very intense emotions including love/infatuation
>Black-and-white thinking
>Substance abuse (I started smoking regularly at 16)
>Extremely unmotivated about everything, in fact I should be doing work right now
>Unsure about sexuality
>Don't want to get better/content when sad
>No long-term plans
I also have some fetishes so terrifying I'm disgusted by myself after I finish.
I just want to be normal, and everything is extremely exaggerated when you have BPD...
>>17822610
bpd = bipolar depression ?
yes there are meds for that in USA at least
poke around
nami.org
good luck
bipolar or borderline personality disorder?
I have all the symptoms you described minus the sexuality one. I am 100% pussy mad
We should both probably speak to a general practitioner about this. If you're anything like me then you'll suck at talking about anything to do with mental health in person, so perhaps writing a list similar to what you wrote here would be a good idea.
Well what sucks is even if you see a therapist who can provide the best therapy available for BPD you're only going to get about 4 hours a month total of therapy from them. I don't have BPD but at least for me my therapist only wants me to come back every 1 to 2 weeks even though I have issues just as severe as BPD. Maybe i'm wrong and maybe you can get more frequent therapy than that.
I have a few ideas. First try to figure out if you can learn how to do Cognitive behavioral therapy on yourself or whatever therapy the therapist was trying to use on you. That way after you see them you can keep treating yourself with those therapy methods every day.
I think I think about sex too much
I'm in college, not a virgin but not overly successful with women. I generally don't feel comfortable around them and overthink every interaction. I haven't really been to any parties, talked to many women or just really done much of anything interesting since college started.
All the attractive women around my campus is driving me nuts. It's like it's impossible for to admire a womans attractiveness in a non-sexual way or something. Anyways the sheer ammount all this bugs me can't be healthy, and it REALLY gets to me sometimes. What do i do
>>17822537
>admire a womans attractiveness in a non-sexual way
Why would you ? It's there to be admired in a sexual way.
>What do i do
Act on it. Expose yourself to girls, talk to them as much as possible, start finding your balls and making moves no matter how autitic you end up being in the process.
>>17822537
Try to watch less porn. Change your hobbies, listen to Queen - Having a Good Time, or do anything that can replace masturbating
>>17822555
Yeah a whack it a lot.
My life is super high stress.
Gaming has pretty much been my only hobby since I was like 6, what a sad life I live