Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3164. page

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Bump...

Yes. Male here. About your age. My job is the only thing I'm great at. I work in a high tech field--10yrs. Went to college for it and had several (3-4) interviews with said company before hired. Plus a couple exams that were 100 questions each.
I don't really have to deal with people at work. I solve technical problems. My people skills a horrible. Eye contact? How much? It's all weird to me. People don't know they are making me mad till I just blow up!
The only thing I am great at is my job. I am paid very FAIR! The company knows I'm fucked up but I've found most people with great technical skills have the same issues.

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Well you seem to be doing well in terms of a job. Have any advice?

>>17829839
Thanks for doing this!
So, when I started university , I lived at a student place, and my neighbours were these two girls from Germany who i became really good friends with.

They were only in America for a few months, and we all kind of drifted apart, but on their last couple weeks I really bonded with one of them. I think because I knew she was leaving I felt safe opening up to her, but that ended up being a trap because it meant i missed her when she left. Against my original intention, we ended up staying in touch and talking often. I think she was kind of my first proper friend, really, but having, someone know me that well is terrifying, so I was prone to cutting her out every few months. She was back in Germany and I was in the the US at the time so she didn't have a way to contact me when I was ignoring her, but she still forgave me each time and we'd go back to talking.

Our friendship got worse starting this year. Eventually, when I decided where to move I was picking between Germany and Canada . Even though our friendship was kind of worse by this point, May 2016 onwards, I decided to move to Germany. She wasn't a big factor, but it was a nice bonus.

It was nice seeing her here in her country of Germany at first, but eventually we got into a habit of having insult matches masked as 'jokes'.

She'd get mad and storm off or something, but be fine the next day, whereas I'd hold a grudge at her storming off, and sure enough we'd be back at arguing. It kind of became all we did.

I had a german Oktoberfest party and we started arguing in the middle of it because she told me she would stay for the full party, but ended up leaving early. It was pretty stupid, but we were both mad.

>>17829885

cont'd) We talked a few days after and she wasn't mad anymore, but I was a little hurt, and we argued a little more.

About a month ago I sent her a message saying we couldn't be friends anymore, but I appreciate her and wish her all the best. That was before I cut off all lines of communication, blocked, etc.


conclusion: How do I stop cutting people out of my life all the time? If someone does something to me, even if it's not bad, if they aren't genuinely apologetic I can never get past it. I'm still mad at some of my friends for small things they did years ago but didn't apologize for.

It's ruining my life and I just lost the best friendship I've ever had because of it. I'm going to end up sad and alone if I don't get over my pride


For example, I really miss her now, but I feel like I have to live and die by my decision, and can't get over the small way she hurt me which feels like a personal attack. It feels like too much stress to let back in anyone who understands me or who has known me for a long time, because I'm re-adopting all of our old problems in the process

>>17829899
this is someone ive known better than anyone ever for 1.5 years and moved to the same country as! And I felt cutting them out was my only option as a result of the story.

(last post. thanks again)

>>17829786
>No job and can't get a new one(worked in security before, quit because had to move. I hated it but was all I could get. Did a good job but everyone talked shit about me behind my back, even the bosses. Anyway can't get other jobs because security isn't held in high regard and no one in security wants to hire me anymore because of the shit people said about me got around and all the higher ups kniw each other)
You haven't actually explained why you can't get a job. You've only explained why you can't get a job in security, and even that explanation is a bit iffy

hi, OP. i know the feel. been depressed myself for some time now.

life will get better, OP. just keep at it.

>>17829786

have you considered other kinds of job, OP? like in fastfood? not being sarcastic or insulting, OP, it's a genuine suggestion. i don't know what the requirements are for a fastfood crewmember but if you do get in it's something to do and it's income.

from >>17829797

allahu snakbar

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Chopping your dick off with a butter knife

>Loudest suicide methods?
Go to sleep in your running car. You'll do irreversible damage to the environment, and when global warming is killing people off, your weak voice will be heard.

>>17829734

What did you do? Did you make "a move"?

Maybe it's just that someone else pointed out that you like her, and she doesn't, so she is distancing herself for a while.

>>17829736
No, I didn't do anything. We talked yesterday in the library. We talk sometimes because we have friends in common, but that's it. She's really shy though.

>>17829772

If you didn't do anything, then it's probably the second option. Either someone told her or she realized it herself.

So my question is, if I say to him something like "ok, I realise this is snake like, I won't see her" he's probably just going to feel patronised anyway.

Even though I do wsbt to fuck, without a doubt keeping him as a friend is more important .
So what do you think is the best thing for that?

Without a doubt I have lost his trust as someone I can go out with to chat up girls , and he is probably gritting his teeth in frustration right now.

How can I minimise damage and become cool with him in the future?
Just say something like "dude I know that was extremely uncool. Hand on heart I can say that I did not intentionally sabotage you. Honestly, on the way back home , I just had to try and sharpen my claws and see if I could game her. I mean it was just such a weird circumstance bumping into her again that I had to. I won't actually go out with her , it was just I wanted to see if I could. Genuinely even though this seems messed up I swear I didn't set out to do anything underhand ."

Do you think that would work? Or is that kind of overreacting and just making it worse?

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>>17829709
>>17829718

It sounds like he's just fucking with you.

Relax, dude. Your friend can't legitimately get pissed because some strange woman wants to fuck you rather than him. Its not your responsibility to make sure women find him attractive nor is it your fault if they choose you over him.

She's just some random you met in a club. If he's genuinely upset that you both went out and a girl chose you over him he's a giant fucking crybaby and you have no business being friends with him.

Like I said in the beginning, it kind of sounds like he's just giving you shit for fun. Don't send him anything, man. You didn't do anything wrong.

>>17829718
>>17829709
>>17829709
wtf why does he care, he almost never spoke to her again. You ran into her afterhe struck out. youre 100% in the right op

>>17829718
what is snakelike exactly? its not like they dated or anything. I don't understand this story, you're such a pussy and he's claiming something that was never even his.

grow a fucking spine op

is his life insurance enough to cover it?

if not, suck dick and sell coke. If nothing else you could write a good book after.

>>17829685
We dont have life insurance, cant afford it. The house is at like 200,000$ right now and its not even worth that much. The mortgage company really fucked us...

If you can't afford the mortgage repayments, it'll be sold. It's as simple as that. It's in the terms of the mortgage when your father/parents signed up to it. The mortgage broker doesn't give a fuck about your sentimental feelings, they just want their money.

Use dental floss after eating meat. You don't want stuff stuck between your teeth.

invade russia, they're fucking vulnerable.

>>17829653
oh there you are Helmut! Come back to /pol/. We where looking for you!

You're a child, sorry but it's true

This will never work out

It was nice while it lasted but this won't work out for four years

>>17829666
I've actually been in a long distance for three years before we even met in real life and it ended after almost a year in person. Anything can work, but OP, you have to consider the following:

- One of you might find someone else

- You don't really know what she is like AS A RELATIONSHIP PARTNER, meaning, things won't be like they are online. She might get really jealous, she might not like doing x with you, these are things you miss out on by not being in proximity with each other and you will never know until it happens.

- be wary of catfishing and other shit.

I would tell you now that most likely it's not even worth it. I don't regret what I did, but I wouldn't do it again. There is a lot of thinking you have to do about all this. Anyway about finding things to talk about, it's kind of natural if you talk to the same person every day you kind of run out of things to say (in my opinion). Are you guys in the same country?

>you are underaged
>you have never met in person

Sorry. It's not a relationship.

Call her

Probably not cheating but it's possible.

Can't do anything m8. Wait for her to get back to you. Watch a movie, enjoy a hobby. You shouldn't chase girls, not even your gf. Don't be clingy.

>>17829574
Is the "o" key on your keyboard broken?

>>17829561
What the actual fuck. I need a reality check. Why would you do that? Having so many effective ways and fetishes that give more pleasure. Can you be specific and explain?

>>17829561
Birds can literally drop dead from stress you sick fuck

Just because you're not ripping it's wings off or some shit doesn't mean it's not abuse, how would it feel if you were tied up and shoved into some dark small place

>>17829592
I like the way it vibrates

>>17829543
>I'm pretty much fetishizing white brunette sorority girls in uggs and a north face jacket. I just want a "basic" girl because I have this idea that they are elusive creatures to someone like me. If I were to marry a white sorority girl, that would be like the sweet victory of my life.

This makes you an ugly person. Not your height or your skin. While you keep thinking like this, you'll turn women off. And don't worry, no need to use drugs to change your personality. You can do it by yourself or with a shrink. Good luck.

>>17829563
Is it bad to have a preference for just white girls.

>>17829543
You seem to hate being Indian, which is a problem. You should try to be proud of your heritage, and try to date some Indians. Yea, as an Indian I hate part of my culture too, but I still embrace it.

Also, how short are you? Honestly you're overthinking it too much if you're 5'6 and over, and you don't have big problems until you're under 5. Only insecure tards from /fit/ and /r9k/ believe you have to be 6'6 to even pick up any girls.

Another thing is try to imagine a basic bitch's previous sex life. She probably has had her hole penetrated too many times for you to feel comfortable about it. Don't aim for basic bitches and sorority girls

I recommend you don't

Give er the ol' lickeroo

>>17829540

picking up as in..? sleeping with them? that's not what they are for, idiot

Sure hope you like taking orders.
Sure hope you enjoy irreversible mental conditioning to a neverending RPG.
Sure hope you like using your brain on strong but narrow autopilot for the rest of your life.
Sure hope you're ready to die for no real reason other than rich men's money.

man people getting shot. bad ju ju.

>>17829534
>Benefits of joining the Marines?
You get GI benefits from any branch of service. You don't have to join the Marines.

Honduran ones they say are pretty good. Gran Habano, Camacho, Alec Bradley, Punch, Hoyo de Monterrey, and Puros Indios. According to some online site.

Smoking is bad for you though, anon.

Not an expert by any means, just a casual smoker. You should try to find out what kind of tobacco you like. It sounds like you smoke a lot a Cuban cigars. So if you like those you've mentioned other Cubans might not be bad to check out. I can't really give to many suggestions there unfortunately since I mainly smoke Nicaraguan. It's never a bad idea to look at reviews online or talk to people at your local cigar shop. That's how I started to figure out what cigars I enjoyed.

>>17829594
Btw, I'm Cuban, and a lot of Cubans admit Honduran quality gars are pretty great. Some even say better than Cuban, in terms of product quality. Perhaps it has something to do with the terrain over there.