So, I work with dogs at a doggy daycare and boarding facility. We feed and watch the dogs as they play and clean up after them. We get new dogs all the time and each dog has its own set of special snowflake rules that we need to follow per its owner or whatever bs it tends to do. (ie some dogs can't play outside so it has to be inside all the time or some dogs are allergic to bees so we have to keep bees away from it)
Whenever we feed dogs, I take FOREVER. People want to leave and go home right away but when they close with me they hate it. Today a co-worker lashed out at me because I forgot to clean the mop bucket and I was about to do it until she forcefully took over and told me I was pissing her off. I'm not even sure what I did wrong. We start feeding at 4pm and have until 6pm to feed our assigned dogs. It was barely 5 and she was rushing me. Everyone wants to leave by 5 because they want to go home, but I usually finish around 5:15 - 5:30 depending on how complicated the dogs are to feed. I don't know what people are doing to be so much faster than me. I ask them and they can't really tell me because nobody has time to watch me feed and then compare and correct what I'm doing wrong. A lot of it has to do with my poor memory.
Cont...
...Cont from >>17846682
A lot of the "veterans" who work there have fed the same dogs so many times that they've memorized their food and prepare the food before having to check what they eat. Each dog gets a basket of food/supplies and a sheet of paper that tells us what they eat for breakfast and dinner. I ALWAYS have to look at it, find all the things it needs, clumsily prepare it, and hand it to the dog. My co-workers prepare everything by memory without reading anything and I don't know how they do it. I just can't. And our dogs change pretty frequently - so I don't know how they remember what a dog ate a year ago when it stayed there and gave it the same food without error for its current stay. Like fucking HOW?
I've already accepted that I'm a fucking dumbass who forgets things all the time and has to jog to keep up with people's normal pace (I'm very short). But how do I improve? Is it really ok to go at my own pace, even after almost being at that job for 2 years? Do I have a learning disability or something?
Feeding isn't the only issue I have with how I perform. I always forget what room a dog goes to, when they go home, their names....
I get 6-7 hours of sleep a night. Am I just too stupid for this job?
tl;dr
I'm slow at work and everyone hates working with me. How can I get faster? I've tried everything.
How have you tried to memorize? Flash cards lol?
>>17846710
It would be an infinite number of flash cards because we get so many different dogs so often. Especially nowadays with the holidays. I mean there are regulars who come in - they're the ones that everyone really remembers. But some people would feed a new dog once and remember it right away then feed them perfectly without checking the next day. I don't understand it lol.
Plus I'm so exhausted after work trying to rush myself all the time that I just get home and wanna not think about it at all. It's not a job worth putting so much work into (minimum wage), but at the same time it's not a job that I just want to slack off at either.
Also, the rule is to NOT memorize their feeding. A person can change what their dog eats at any time, meaning we're SUPPOSED to always read the paper. But some people don't and just feed them what they're used to giving them. Regardless of whether they gave them the right amount of food or not, they never seem to get in trouble for it. I'm the only one getting in trouble around here for forgetting things or doing things wrong. I just know if I cut corners like my co-workers are doing (assuming that's what's happening), I'll get in trouble.
What are signs a girl is interested versus her just being nice? Especially if they're shy? I'm autistic and keep missing signals.
>>17846679
For a shy girl it's basically them just being bold. If they don't really talk to anyone else but approach you,that's a sign. If they give you a look you can 'feel' that's a sign. If they need help with something but specifically ask for your help,that's a sign.
When they're not shy it can be a bit harder to read of course but if you can't really note something which shows that she's trying to grab your attention just ask for a girls number and based on how much she texts you,you'll be able to construct your answer.
>>17846807
Thanks for this, I'd ask her out now but we're on break so I have to wait a while. It seems like she'll literally talk to everyone but me at times. She also asks me to do simple tasks for her that she easily could have done, so that's something I guess. If I compliment her she'll just kinda get quiet, don't know what that means. She'll constantly look at me, and if she isn't she's touching her face A LOT. Don't know if that means anything. Sometimes she'll be sassy and even mean, and sometimes she'll be super kind and grateful towards me, it throws me off. A lot.
>>17846914
Get out now.
>Really, really into legs
>Summer is coming and co-workers are going to be wearing qt dresses and skirts
>Don't want to stare
Any advice on not looking?
get other people to stop you from looking
you do this by looking more
people will get creeped out and target you which will force you not to look
Where the fuck do you live that calls for summer at this time of year? Winter has just kicked in with a full swing.
Your post does not add up.
>>17846688
Aw it's ok anon
No one knows everything
I guess some background is needed:
>were official 2010-2013
>continued to see eachother, kept it secret from most friends and family 2013-2015
>she went backpacking on other side of planet for 6 months, in which time she managed to get 'married'
>she came back with boyfriend
>we met at a wedding, she told me she still loves me etc, I tell her yes, but not as long as she doesn't choose me
>she breaks up with boyfriend and reaches out
>we go on a four month long reconsciliation
>ultimately, she still can't face being open about us, and wants to keep it a secret etc
>I start fucking another woman
>she doesn't want to continue sleeping together because of aforementioned, but still want to hang out and to 'love eachother' and kiss and be romantic, but fucks some guy from work instead
>I tell her off for making things difficult, last time I see her
>she travels again, february this year
>she's moving to Australia, but wants to stay in Thailand for a month
>we don't talk for a couple of months
>she's still in Thailand, and ends up living there for eight months
>she has a boyfriend in Thailand, but he moves back to Europe after a couple of months
>during summer we skype a few times, she tells me I'm her soulmate
>then Bali for a month, before finally moving to Australia, back together with the boyfriend
>we texted some weeks ago, but not since I told her I found someone new
Last night I suddenly ran into her. I asked her what happened, and she told me Australia became difficult, and she ran out of money.
Tonight I went on whatsapp. She had sent me a text asking if we could have coffee one day
I'm starting to fall in love with a girl I met a couple of weeks ago, and went on two dates with, slept wiht her last Thursday. We both want an open relationship, if we were to start anything. I also have increased me tinder match frequency plenty. Atm 16 matches wants the D
But
My ex and I used to have the most amazing, mindblowing sex ever
Should I?
Just for the love of god don't marry her
Sex her if you want but I don't think you can without wanting to date her
>>17846648
Not fucking worth it. Not worth the bullshit.
Dump her and find other people.
>>17846658
I'm not themarrying kind of guy, but thanks.
I will unavoidably become 'dating' though.
We're great together, when we're alone. We used to live together and the only reason that ended was because she was moving back to the UK. We've had more years LDR than not, but we just fit and function in all rooms in a standard home. Only sex would we unnatural.
/adv/, I need some advice regarding a friend. It seems that I caught him in a lie, and I'm wondering where I should go from here.
>Have a private "club" and community online, where my friends and I hang out.
>The exclusivity makes it feel sort've "special" and assures that not just anyone can come in and fuck things up.
>Months ago, we decided to allow one of our friends into the group. Everything seemed to go smoothly. He fits right in.
>Months go by, and after a while, he asks if he can invite a friend along. After a some brief questioning, we give him the okay.
>His friend shows up online, and is sort've quiet. We give him a warm welcome and invite him to all the stuff we are doing.
>Days go by, and I ask my friend to send me a specific file. He agrees to do so, but then something weird happens.
>I receive the file from his friend, instead. It suddenly occurs to me what is going on, and he panics before logging off on both accounts.
Why would he do this? What should I do about it?
I honestly feel a little betrayed by this and wonder what other sort of stuff he's lied about.
>private club
>he panics
why would he panic?
>>17846614
I'm honestly confused as to what's happened here. Is it just that the guy made two accounts or?
>>17846614
Just ask him directly what's up
What do I do with my hands while getting blown?
I'm good at fucking, I own the thing. But when I get blown, I don't know what to do with my hands or even where to look. I can't grab a titty much less her p0ssi, so what do I do? Pulling hair?
I'm not really into facefucking and I prefer to let the girl do her thing without controlling. So yeah, I dunno.
>>17846589
nothing. kick back. keep them at your side or put them behind your head. whatever you want. if shes look up at you and that makes you nervous just put one hand on her face and rub it sensually like shes your little fuck doll
>>17846608
Ayy, you a bro. Will do that next time. Thanks anon.
>>17846589
You can grab her boobs
You can grab her ass at the right angle
You hold her hair
Touch her arm
Whatever you want man
Getting a bj is about the only time during sex where you don't really have to do much
How to get her pussy to hug my dick?
>>17846576
Bait the pussy owner with your cool personality.
>>17846576
Drake tickets and ecstasy
>>17846593
>Dane Cook tickets and cocaine
Fixed it for you
At this point I know my chances of finding women that I would be interested in are non existent.
Even if I did I have so little experience and a lack of a basic foundation from my childhood in interacting with girls, I would fuck it up somehow. Nobody would have the patience for me.
So I've decided my only hope is to find love and companionship with another guy. But >tfw not gay
I can easily build long lasting friendships with guys and am rarely awkward with them so I'm allready set for success so to speak. I just need to start actually finding guys sexually attractive.
Any suggestions? Gay guys are welcome to pitch in obviously.
>>17846567
>gay guys are welcome to pitch in
>pitch in
seriously tho, as much as id love to explore my fantasy of building a deep meaningful friendship with a fellow anon and then exploring our sexuality together, its not gonna happen.
if you want sex, get hookers. if you cant get hookers, get a fleshlight. there are some crazy horny on the fly exceptions to this rule, but as a general rule you will enjoy porn more than you will enjoy sex with someoen you are disgusted by.
i could get laid every day if i was willing to settle. but im not, so i have sex once every week or two.
just have meaningful borderline romantic relationships but keep the sex seperate. its what most gay guys do any way.
>>17846567
Why the fuck would be faggots interested in some self pitying pussy with a defeatist attitude? Try pets.
Or self improvement.
Its nearly 3am
There is a very venomous spider in my room which is I think a Brown Recluse.
People next door to me need to sleep cus they do early morning shifts... how do I find and deal with it without waking up my room mates?
Where the fuck do you live?
Fucking stomp it. Who gives a fuck, if your roomies don't understand that there was a goddamn potentially deadly spider in your room then who the fuck cares they're assholes. (which I doubt it is dangerous, they're called recluses for a reason, you don't ever see the fuckers.)
>>17846531
lol. A bite from a Brown Recluse will fuck your shit up bro. It's worse when you don't know they bite you. It starts small then it turns into an infected puss hole. Eventually that puss hole grows into like the size of a tennis ball. It's pretty gross.
I live in South Texas and we have them here.
>>17846574
Yeah, I live in MO, we've got em too. Hell the hospital my mom works at is infested with them kek. When I said "I doubt it's dangerous" I meant I doubt it's actually a brown recluse, not that I doubt brown recluses are dagerous. Like I said, they typically do not make themselves seen.
And honestly, they're no big deal if you get them treated in a timely manner, unless you're allergic or something.
Theyre fucking pussies too, they're more concerned with getting away from you, they likely wont bother you. The way most people get bitten is like, putting on old clothes and not knowing the shit was hiding out in there.
Schizotypal here. Does anybody else here lead a successful life while having Schizotypal Personality disorder at the same time? Can you help me out and tell me what worked for you? Are there any doctors or psychologists on that can help me?
I've been making a big effort to improve my life but I stumbled across this and i'm so disheartened right now. Check this shit out /adv/
http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/schizotypal-personality-disorder-
"It is not realistic to expect a person with schizotypal personality disorder to ever become comfortable socially no matter what treatment is used on them" And then in other places i'm reading that it is significantly harder for Schizotypal people to socialize even compared to people who have crippling depression. Like wtf I didn't realize it was that bad.
That sounds like i'm never going to have close relationships with anybody no matter what I do.
I want to overcome this and start making close friends with people because I don't want superficial skin deep relationships with everyone the rest of my life. I want real friends.
Schizotypal General too I guess. If you got this feel free to talk about it too
OP here. It's ok /adv/ this is probably a really niche serious topic people don't have a lot of experience in so i'm not too shocked to see nobody responded to this.
>>17846827
this sounds borderline me. i'm not big on friends (i do have workmates) i avoid going out because it just requires too much effort and mostly involves being social
have you considered devoling a hobby? an anti social one, that could turn social.
i started to force myself to go out bush bashing in the 4wd and really started enjoying it. its getting me out the house, went out to a small ruin threw the swag out and headed back home the next day.
doesn't have to be this speciffically, this was merely suggested to me because i lived in a remote location. i was wary at first but then i grew to like it.
you can have friends and relationships with people on your own terms. you can't experience things the same exact way as anyone else anyway, labels like this do nothing but box you in.
what I mean is, your experience is yours and who cares if someone says it can't be as meaningful or deep or whatever as someone else's. people that think that way are unable to comprehend that it's possible for others to be fulfilled in ways other than what they themselves deem fulfilling.
I have spd and struggled with the idea that I would be unable to form "strong" relationships or whatever with others for quite some time but realized that's just what someone using their own criteria from their own experiences came up with. I do my own shit, my way, not the way of some egghead psychologist fucker
Anons, I have a theory.
We fall in love, because we want to compensate the character traits we lack.
Does that mean that if I get rid of all my character flaws, I will never crush on anyone?
>>17846474
I've got my own theory:
We fall in love because we got nothing else going on at the moment. Seriously whenever my life gets so busy I just get preoccupied with work, my hobbies, fitness, and/or school I forget about everyone but my close friends and family, sometimes forget them too.
>>17846474
>We fall in love, because we want to compensate the character traits we lack.
What if we simply want someone to enjoy the ride with? I wouldn't mind if my SO had the same flaws as long they are a cool person.
Sounds like you take the whole "love" shit too serious.
>if I get rid of all my character flaws
Sounds pretty much impossible, specially because some flaws are subjective and because there is always a way to improve.
Well sounds like a win win to me, might as well try.
Either you become a better person and still desire companionship (what's likely), or you just become a better person.
How does everyone overcome the feelings of futility when hanging around with friends? I always feel like it's not going to amount to anything
>>17846457
Why does it matter if you have a good time? Your entire life won't amount to anything, in 200 years nobody will remember that you even existed, give it couple billion years and the earth will be gone. So what?
>>17846476
I just don't know how to enjoy it unless I'm attracted to them, never have
>>17846508
>attracted to them
alright you need to explain a little bit more whats going on here.
>gf has a skin condition that comes and goes
>haven't seen my gf in a while
>she practically tells me every day that she's so worried about seeing me, her skin has gotten really bad
>tell her I still find her very attractive
>obviously shuts me down and doesn't hear the positivity
>one day get fed up and say "your lack of confidence in yourself is less sexy than any skin condition could ever be"
So how does one recover from this?
Stop being so nice with her, think about yourself more, love yourself more, see her as an accessory to you rather than the other way around.
I'm not saying make her an object to you, but it sounds she may be on a bit of a pedestal in your mind. You have to level that.
Worry more about where you're going in life, where you are, love yourself more. Confidence isn't quite switched on and off, it's built over time through social interaction and personal achievement. Do what you must to build it. Don't make the mistake of putting her before everything or you will lose her.
And golden rule; sometimes not telling her everything you think is actually far better. Less is more. Cultivate mystery.
Coming from someone who got broken up with for being a sorry sack of self-pity and neediness. A good break-up can do wonders to you, but you can take the short-cut if you wish. Up to you.
>>17846442
Stop trying to give serious answers or responses to shit tests. Just pacify her and ignore this kind of shit.
>>17846463
Did you reply to the wrong thread? Your post is very presumptuous about the entirety of our relationship.
>>17846479
What's a shit test? I don't think she's the kind of girl that does that, she just has low self-esteem
A close friend of mine tried to kill herself on Friday.
Before Wednesday, we were incredibly close, and I went and destroyed it.
I won't go into huge amounts of detail, but it was a large part my fault and tried to kill herself.
She means so much to me, and I did THIS to her.
She messaged me after being discharged from the hospital and she agreed to see me later this week, I said we should probably talk in person.
I'm scared of not being able to be there for her if she tries to again, and all I want to do is make sure she's safe, but at the same time I'm scared I'm just going to hurt her again...
What the actual fuck do I do?
If I let her go, Im scared she'll do it again, and I can't stand the thought of it, whilst on the other hand, if I stay friends, I'm scared I'll just hurt her more and more...
>>17846404
>I won't get into crucial details despite posting on an anonymous message board (and failing)
I am dreadfully sorry to hear that this has happened to you. But without knowing more, I have to say, I find it very hard to believe that you are in any way responsible for this. What makes you so certain that you were the cause of these events?
>>17846404
Given that you indeed incited her to kill herself, keep in mind that this could pretty much well mean you could go to jail.
But I have my doubts and you probably didn't really incite her to do that. Most of the time, you just do things and others pin the blame on you for not doing what they want. For example, a super typical example:
>GF: Anon if you go and meet that girl friend of yours again I'm going to kill myself!
>Anon: Eh okay w/e you're just trying to get attention
>Anon then did meet the girl and the GF tried to kill herself
If it's a situation like this then you're not liable or responsible, and it's under no means your fault and she's being a manipulative cunt. But, if it's more like
>Girl: Anonette I'm so depressed
>Anonette: Holy shit I'm so fucking tired of your depression fucking kys
>Girl then tries to kill herself
Then you could pretty much be responsible for it.
What sort of situation was it?
Is it psychologically harmful to need fantasies to mediate between yourself and society as a whole?
For example, for years now I've been basically playing a character whenever I'm around people who, I feel, won't get me. Instead of being my shy loser self around normies, I just pretend I'm an actor playing a confident, outgoing character, and I assume habits and mannerisms that aren't my own, but that people respond well to.
Another example is that when it comes to doing regular shit, I always pretend I'm some sort of spy or agent sent to infiltrate a place or milieu, and that I need to blend in and learn their ways. That's the only way I can realistically fake interest in my work and the sort of shit people like to talk about. So if people around me are really into a certain sport or a certain genre music, I just pretend I need to learn about them and to fool them as part of a spying job, instead of trying to have genuine interest in any of it.
I'm completely aware that this is pathetic autistic shit, and I'm ok with it, but can it hurt me psychologically? Am I down the path to become essentially a sociopath with no real affinity to the world around me? Should I just try to fit in regularly instead?
>>17846392
are you trying to convince us or yourself?
everyone puts on a 'front' with new people. we only show a glimmer of our true personalities. becuase we are all complex, and not in the cool way, in a weird way.
my older brother was this macho alpha chad thundercock kind of guy. 6 foot tall, muscled, always the most popular guy in school. and i mean legit popular, like everyone loved him.
anyways, when he was home and didnt know i was in the other room he'd make out with our dog and let her hump his leg for hours at a time.
>>17846398
he'd also purposely distend his stomach to look pregnant and walk around screaming pretending to have birthing pains when our parents were home.
>>17846402
one time he just ran around the house in his underwear (at the age of 17) doing the chicken dance.
things he would never do in front of friends much less in situations with new people.
what im trying to say with all this OP is tha tall of us put on an act. dont rationalize it by saying 'IM SO FUCKING WEIRD THAT I HAVE TO PRETEND'.
you're pretending to pretend to rationalize why you pretend.