Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3088. page

Let them pay they invited you but insist on leaving the tip also if youre gonna drink keep it at one drink then get sodas you don't want to seem like a drunk good luck

Ordering one beer is not weird at all
Since there are no other males, if i were you i would push a little more to pay for everyone.

It makes you look very good, points for the future and you want her to be your GF right? So its a great investment ni

Order a beer. Just one though, it'll relax you a bit more.
Offer to pay for at least you and your girlfriend. And like the other anon said, if they insist, then ensure you leave the tip. The gesture will be appreciated.

>>17857463
sent ;)

>>17857466
oh come on.

>>17857463
What condition is she in? Alive? Conscious? We're going to need some details to be able to help.

>>17857396

You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.

One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea.
But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all you’re keeping here with you.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye

>>>/b/

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>>17857400
Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. She’s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. You’ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. You’ve got morning wood. It’s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now you’e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like she’s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesn’t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if she’s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly it’s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.

>>17857365
>Found my oneitis

Stop talking in memes. I can tell this will be painful to read just form the title.

>I need to get in touch with her somehow

No you don't. This sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. I really hope this is just bait. Leave her alone.

>>17857371
Not bait normalfag, I made the same thread on /r9k/ since it seemed up their alley. Unfortunately they don't seem to have any good solutions.

>>17857375
>Unfortunately they don't seem to have any good solutions.

There are no good solutions. She will be freaked out that you looked her up when you don't have a relationship to speak of. By the way you talk, she is just someone you liked from a distance. This can't end well.

>>17857346
exercise, it makes you burn calories and feel good countering both issues.

Just force yourself to do it every day

>>17857363
But that sounds like it'll only counter some bad food, like if I eat burger King and sit home this rest of the night since I'm tired from work it sounds like it'll fuck me

>>17857378
You aren't tired from work you are tired because you are a fat slob

Just tell your boss that you made a mistake and stop being a nigger. Send them another email saying you made a mistake and then give your boss a heads up on what you did. Better to get ahead of a problem then get fucked later on.

>>17857360
How best I explain it properly? Its a small office so saying it in front of my colleagues is really embarrassing. Do you think I will be fired?

I also sent a follow up email already apologizing and saying there was no decision made yet, correcting myself to the candidate

no because if they fire you then they will have to hire 2 people and that is even more of a pain in the ass

just wait, and if by the time you normally leave you don't get an email back, tell your boss.

Just got my acceptance letter from college the other day. Going to start in January and finish my arts degree. I decided on history since that's really where my passions are.

Third time's the charm, I think I finally have the discipline to handle it. It's been 3 years since I last left school.

>>17857332
Watching the cock sucking hipsters and yuppies come and go to their christmas parties, while I come home from my wageslave job where they've cut back hours cos they want double the work done in half the hours.

Yuppie and hipster fuckers live such carefree lives.

What is a sure fire career path for a 27yo dude with a 5 year old 2.2 maths degree? I know I don't have the looks or personality for a city type career.

>>17857374
What's with the negative attitude? The lives of others only seem great because you're not living them. Focus on yourself instead of putting down them.

As to your question what are you doing now and what are your passions?

>>17857273
>my friend is pic related and much more attractive(he is taller, has a better job, a big dick..)

yeah your "friend" 's attractiveness is definitely not shown in the pic I have to agree.

>>17857273
>a big dick
How do you know that

>>17857287
If he doesnt look attractive to you you probably like feminized beta Westerner boypussies. He is really attractive but that id not a good pic and he isnt a metrosexual

>>17857269
meditate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GSeWdjyr1c

the same advice i got

take a shot
or two
not three
the alc will make you feel more relaxed
atleast the placebo on these small amounts

also, din't mind if you do mistakes
everybody had a first day at a new work, they will tolerate it the first week
also, you have the best excuse if yiu do shit: "sry, i'm new here"

When I did my first job, roughly 10 years ago, I was pretty worked up too.

Just take it easy, however don't slack off. You want to build your own work ethics that you can later carry on to other jobs.

Build strong work ethics(friendly/honest/laidback/concise). Don't do too much as its a pizza place, not anything intensive like stockmarket or anything.

As you have social issues, it might create problems. Customer service jobs are worst for socially averse. You feel like you have to be sincere but they still yell at you or give you shit. Just stick with it for few months atleast to get a feel of the environment. Your first job is mostly a learning experience.

One thing though, learn to manage your emotion. Don't show off negative emotion to customers, even the slightest negative facial expression will be seen/detected.

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>>17857260
draw a pepe on yor pussy , guys like pepe pussys!
do it like the gif , but on your pussy!

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>>17857306
and then do a pepe voice while opening and closing puss to make it look cool!
" hey bebe give me a big kiss!"

>>17857318
>"hey bebe give me a big kiss!"
I just lost my sides from laugh

>>17857258
It could constitute sexual harrasment or something even more serious if the recipient is under 18 years old. You'd have to be fucking retarded to take part in one of these threads.

>>17857265
so its illegal to post a girls sc who is under 18?

>>17857274
Its still legal, niggs.

Yeah, keep it up faggot. It will pay off.

>>17857248
What would you recommend for learning such techniques?

>books techniques,
What book op?

>>17857190
sounds like she's not interested. give it some time and try to message her again later. if that doesnt work, move on

>>17857197
Literally why not
What did I text that was so wrong

>>17857190
>that you can do everything perfectly and still get ignored

If you were doing things "perfectly" you woulnd't be ignored, right? Food for thought.

>>17857175
what do you mean you haven't fucked her
you HAVENT fucked the office slut??? LMAO

Maybe now she isn't butthurt about that as before you can just directly ask for sex, but just don't date her or sth.

>>17857175
>Married office hoe says she wanted me
okay

> but slept with other coworkers

I'm not seeing the problem here. You knew she's a slut. Get over it and fuck her in the puss puss

Fell sorry for her husband.

>>17857132
>bromazepine
Bromazepam*

>>17857132
To be honest nothing in life is worse and more pathetic than failing to kill yourself, I would tell you to kill yourself but I can't even trust you to that right.

dude What's depressing you? Is it a chemical imbalance or is it situational?