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I want to trust people because that's the only thing I can think of that'd lead me to being happy. But I am unable to trust because people will inevitably cause me pain.
How do I find the balance? How do I know who to trust and how much?
Currently I have literally no people in my life, because whenever I'm in a position where there's even a CHANCE I'd start liking someone (even as a friend) I start excessive and compulsive lying, insulting, or generally being an ass.
I can't just always be honest to everyone either, society nor people don't function that way.
>inb4 why are you like this
brother broke my trust, and after that I haven't been able to trust anyone
>inb4 fuck people, be a lone wolf, etc.
I tried that for many years. Sadly, (as much as I hate to admit it) the only times I've been truly happy in my life were when I had someone in my life who had that effect on me. I haven't found another way to happiness in so many years, so I've basically given up on searching.
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Bump
I'm kinda like you OP.
I lie to people in meeting and it makes that relationship harder to maintain since the truth is always been kept a secret. The person never really learns the real you, only your lies. And when they get closer, they will see your lies and eventually you would have to distance yourself.
Lone wolf is good at times. Some people are incapable of being alone. Striking a balance is hard but I personally thrive on 1-on-1 conversations. If I kept lying to a minimum I can actually open up (and maybe too much) and I usually get them to open up too.
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>>17915455
OP here,
I was like that some years ago. I've always lied a lot, but not about things that matter. I never lie to hurt people, but rather to amuse myself (when i was a kid) or to protect myself (now).
Sadly, I'm at a point where I no longer know who I am.
I'm not sure but I guess it's some kind of an "ego death". As a result, I don't even know what to say about myself, if I didn't lie. Sounds pretty fucked up now that I write it down..
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>>17915480
>Ego death
I think you just need basic talking points about yourself. Even make a gimmick or a a script for certain questions. I understand. When you lie to create many different selves, you find it hard to find your true self. Short answer is: you can indenting yourself easily with physical and behavioural habits. You can even say that your a liar to a new friend as a refreshing change.
Its hard for me too. I for example told everyone in my class that I work for a porn company as a call-centre agent. It was a joke that became too real. I realized people don't really remember as much about me and I find it hard not to slip and say I'm a deadbeat with no job.
My solution:
I find Journalling helps me. After commiting a huge lie or after a huge or even tiny event, analyzing what I said, what I felt, what the problem was (if any) and how to solve the problem if it comes again, has helped me form a solid identity.
The long answer to the whole ego death thing is no, theres nothing intrinsic about you, only what society labels you and what you label yourself. Which can be good or bad. We can label ourselves completely false labels and even live up to it.
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Anyone have experience with MeetUp?
Just started using it as I'm looking to start meeting people in the area I recently moved to. What should I expect? Did you enjoy it? I have an event for Friday. It's a get together at a bar.
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I used it to find a group of people to play pick-up soccer with, and I consider it a huge success. I imagine the success you have is going to vary quite a bit depending on the type of group and your location though.
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>>17915351
long term meetuper here. used it both for others meetups and to host my own. i think its a godsend of a site but most people who SHOULD be using it are acting like they're above it.
>what to expect?
dont expect to make friends right away. think of it like school. when you walked into a new school on the first day you wouldnt really make a friend. you'd make an aquaintance. you'd have talked and it was fun and maybe were excited to see them again, but you still had your own seperate lives. you have to rememberthat friendship isn't usually instant. we just feel like it is cuz were used to our long term relationships holding us down while others come and go.
so it might take a while before you're actually hanging out with your pals every week.
also, you should expect to try new things. the farther away you are from a major city, the less meetups there are, and it may require trying something thats not exactly what you like.
you may like video games, but not first person shooters, but the only meetup may be for fans of halo. and thats okay, just go there and talk to them and see who likes the other kind of video games. dont let laziness and ego saying 'NONE OF THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN TO ME' stop you from making friends.
>did you enjoy it
a lot. it filled up my social calendar when i lost my friends and it helped me make new ones. some long term. some short.
its allowed me to explore so many different sides of myself. it let me reimmerse myself in anime, make connections with other filmmakers, realize im a nudist, and find others with my twisted sense of horror enjoyment.
last friday i hosted a nudist video game night, it was awesome, just a bunch of naked people playing super smash brothers.
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>>17915483
I respected and agreed with everything you said until I got to the point where you admitted to being mentally ill (a nudist). Now I question my own point of view.
Anonymous
Meeting girls to date 2017-01-02 02:34:41 Post No.17914783
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Hi, I'm a new uni student and I am looking for girls to date. At the societies I am at there aren't many girls and my course has even less, although I have met one girl I am friends with.
I want to meet girls to date, and as far as I can tell I have two options. 1) go through the girl, since she's second year and knows a lot of girls 2) find them myself.
1) seems like the most tempting option, but the way she has been with me gives me suspicions. She has been physically affectionate pretty much from the start and invited me to her party within 20 minutes of meeting her. As time has gone on its gotten less and less but I suspect that's because I told her I wanted to work on myself before considering relationships, after she had spent the last hour telling me about her old boyfriends and that she wanted closeness.
What do you thinks the best way to go about it? I don't want to use tinder or go to some of the other societies because they don't interest me, but at the same time I don't want to throw her under the bus if she does have feelings.
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>>17914783
>meets a girl
>she's physically affectionate, invites you to things, starts talking about what she wants from a relationship
>you tell her you aren't interested in a relationship right now for personal reasons
>she backs off
Of fucking course she's interested in you. How could you interpret things otherwise? Not only that but she's respectful of your comfort zone.
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>>17914793
Yeah. But that's not the question. I'm not into her.
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>>17914797
Aaah, I see
Then def don't go through her. Asking someone who has feelings for you to help you find someone else to date is a dick move.
Anonymous
Russian woman & dating in America 2017-01-02 10:10:02 Post No.17914395
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Russian woman & dating in America
Anonymous
2017-01-02 10:10:02
Post No. 17914395
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Femanon here and frequent lurker, rare poster. This is actually my first thread.
I'm a full time student living in America on the west coast. But I am Russian (and part Ukrainian).
I speak Russian as my native language, and of course I have an accent. I am considered a conventionally attractive person, and I'm a STEM student. I have all sorts of hobbies like filming and photography and art history. So you get the gist: I'm not too Americanized and stick out a little, though not as much as immigrants or people who lived in Russia their whole lives and only recently came here.
My problem comes up with that dating has become almost completely unbearable for me. Every single guy I go on a date with just pays attention way too much to me being Russian. Suddenly everything I like to do is a stereotype and it's "so crazy" that I know how to cook borscht and sling more than a couple shots and be fine. I have to practically give away my life story every time I go on a date because they have to know every little detail about my home country and then by the time the date is almost over, we have literally spent our time only talking about what my home country is like and asking me to say things in Russian. Lots of offensive things can be tossed around really easily too, calling me things like exotic or a Russian spy.
Keep in mind these aren't unintelligent people or people who have never seen somebody with a rich background before. They're upperclassmen and grad students who are already making their own paychecks while studying.
I don't know what to do anymore, wait out the storm and hope American men eventually get bored of raving about how amazing it is that I'm Russian. Or try to buckle down and find another Russian speaker? When I was still new to the dating scene I thought it was just a few people who took it too far, but it's almost every single date I go on this happens.
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>>17914395
>living in commiefornia
There's your problem.
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>>17914403
This is fairly right. Everyone there is obsessed over being "multicultural and understanding" to the point that it makes foreigners sick. I had to deal with the same shit when I was visiting and it gets boring talking about where you're from, which they don't understand.
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>>17914441
Date other slavs.
What are some of the best boards on 4chan to make you a better person?
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>best boards on 4chan
>better person
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>>17912817
/fit/
/biz/
/diy/
/lit/
/sci/
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When is it safe to eat pussy? I want to eat this girl's pussy tomorrow when she comes over to fuck but I haven't met her yet and am not really used to hookups.
Do I just check for bumps and bad smells, and if there are none I can go to town and eat her up?
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If insist on her getting checked out first ,it's not worth the risk ,I've caught chlamydia twice from girls who I thought I could trust,she might have something and not know it
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are you vaccinated for HPV? Even so the vaccine only covers a few strains iirc
you can't rely on finding something "off"; she could have fucking hiv with no symptoms for all you know
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>>17907359
What you do, when you go down to finger her, you start fingering her. then you take one ear and stick one of your other fingers in your ear and get a bit of wax, then start fingering her with the waxy finger. If she jumps inn pain, that mean she has a severe STD or infection. If she doesn't, then it's probably safe to consume.
Anonymous
Butting heads with my mother's boyfriend, 2017-01-03 01:49:19 Post No.17916518
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Butting heads with my mother's boyfriend, 2017-01-03 01:49:19 Post No.17916518
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Butting heads with my mother's boyfriend,
Anonymous
2017-01-03 01:49:19
Post No. 17916518
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I'm a 20 year old, still living with my single mother as my college is within walking distance. She is dating a guy who has cheated on her multiple times and had a coke habit for the first three quarters of 2016. Recently she has had her boyfriend over very often, and he has been commenting on my mary jane habits. I've quit smoking since then, but I can't stand the sight of him since he himself smokes it, as well as having that coke problem sitting over his head. I overheard him talking/criticizing me for a little over three weeks, and my mother made me feel insane when I brought it up to her the first time and denied it all. Towards the last few days before I quit, a friend of mine made some edibles. One of which I gave to the boyfriend, to see his reaction. After giving it to him, I went to the restroom and could overhear him telling my mother that she should storm into my room and remove anything I have to do with the drug. She openly stated no, but when I asked her about it she again acted if I was hearing things. Things slowly got worse, I even made threats saying that I would cause physical harm to him if he were to come back; she then accused me of being ashamed of her, completely changing the topic. I denied it then sent an angry reply to which she didn't respond. Last night he was back, after I had worked a total of 24 hours over the day of new years eve and new years day. I sent her a text telling her that I was now ashamed of her, and that if he was not gone within twenty minutes that I would fight him. My mother will no longer look at me, and often slams her door shut if she notices me out of my room.
>TLDR incoming
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Stalk him until you find a good opportunity to sneak up on him and stab him to death.
Have an alibi.
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>>17916529
Helps with getting rid of him, not much else
>>17916529
This helps with getting rid of him, but not much else.
>>17916518
TLDR
>be college student living with single mother and other family members
>get criticized about once a week pot habit by former coke head and constant smoker
>gets worse over a couple weeks, leads to threats of physical violence
>mother accuses me of being ashamed of her, deny it
>new years day return home from work to see that he's here, immediately text her that I am now ashamed of her, then go to sleep
>wake up and have a few text messages shoot back and forth
>my mother will now slam her door shut when she notices me out of my room, and gives me little to no eye contact, doesn't speak to me either
I'm lost on what to do, and have been depressed all day because of it.
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shameless self bump
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I'm romantically frustrated, what do?
>22
>social outcast
>never had a girlfriend
>never kissed, held hands, had sex, etc.
>somehow out of some strange star alignment I find a girl who's actually interested in me
>feel happiness and excitement for love for once in my life
>she reveals something that's a personal dealbreaker
>try it I find out I can't live with those views
>break it up before it got anywhere
>still never kissed, held hands, had sex, etc.
I was so close. I had it in my hands. The one time I ever got a chance to live a happy normal life gone.
I can't look at people in relationships anymore. All they do is remind me of my frustration and failure. And these things are everywhere. I can't avoid it. Porn saddens me now too, and it used to be a stress reliever. The best way I can describe it is someone dangling something I want in front of my head and pulling back when I try to reach it. And then everyone else telling me "lol its not so hard to grab bro its right in front of you"
I've had this feeling for over a year now. It's practically ruined my life. I'm so lonely and frustrated I don't know what to do. The fact that I got so close too just makes it worse. I probably could have ignored it if I didn't come close.
I also fear that feelings like this make me comparable to Elliot Rodger or something and I don't want to be looked at that way.
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What was the dealbreaker?
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>>17916456
She believes in systemic racism and voted for Hillary.
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>>17916456
She was born with a penis
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For the past year I've had "violent" urges. Anyone know any good places to see vids of terrorists And idiots getting Blown up, beat, stabbed, etc?
I need to unleash my rage.
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>>17916321
/b/, /gif/
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Get Battlefield One.
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Liveleak?
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She's not interested in me, is she adv? She never really texts me, and if I do she purposely waits to send me a message and usually keeps it short. One time she hugged a male friend goodbye, looked at me and then said "fuck you anon". She ignored me on purpose for a week or two for some reason and then went back to talking to me again. She did invite to hang out with her out of town friend and wanted me to help build a shelf with her, and she taught to free-stroke one day and wanted me to hold onto her in the pool, but that was all a while ago. I think I just missed my mark to ask her out and she just sees me as a friend now... I just want to fucking forget about her and have anxiety about her everyday when she doesn't even contact me. How can I just move on?
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Im doin nofap hardmode till i find the one fk dis shit
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>>17916334
Maybe I should too, it'll be a reward for not being a depressing shut-in
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>>17916343
M8 youll b a fukn guy on a limitless pill if u havent yet seen the movie "Limitless"
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How can I keep home-made gummy edibles fresh as long as possible without refrigerating them? I bought some and later realized they will probably not last long enough for me to finish them.
I was thinking maybe storing them in a lot of cornstarch would help? Maybe they'd dry out in there and become more like hard candy?
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where tf are you that you don't have a fridge?
I'd just do a cool, dark, airtight space. I doubt they would go bad unless they were kept like that for like a year. Don't fuck around with cornstarch
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>>17916424
I also haven't heard of edibles losing their potency btw op. Consider that places where it's legal sell edibles as packaged goods that are probably on the shelf for months before they are consumed.
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>>17916424
I can't put them in the fridge because I still live with my parents. Also, can you elaborate on "don't fuck around with cornstarch"?
>>17916431
Yeah, but those edibles aren't home-made so they likely have something that preserves them well.
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GF is very jealous and need help to stop. If i just talk to another girl, and sometimes even dudes she gets upset. And she just ignores me. We talk 24/7, literally, so i dont talk to many people anyway and were very happy and i do really like her.
Just want to know how to stop the jealousy or lower it.
She doesnt have many close friends or family so maybe thats related.
I was going to skype a old friend in the US (In in UK) and felt like i was cheating because i knew how upet she would be
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>>17916199
She's massively insecure and you're too insecure to realize how toxic it is for you.
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>>17916204
We genuinely really love each other.
Anyway to make her more secure?
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>>17916204
This. Nothing good can come of this behavior.
Op, if you actually like this girl, talk about this, gently but firmly. Let her know your boundaries, and enforce them. It's NOT cool for you to be walking on eggshells, especially if you're doing what you can to comfort her in her insecurity.
Comfort her, kid, don't enable her and encourage her. Let her know she's important, that she's secure, and that you WILL stay in touch with other people who are also important to her.
Expect a fuss. Be kind, be sympathetic, and DO NOT CAVE on your boundaries. She'll respect that, after she sees that she can't emotionally manipulate you. It'll take a big fuss, than one or two little ones, and she'll settle in. They always do.
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>get tinder
>match with girl I went to high school with 2 years ago
>never talked to her but had classes with her
what do i do lads
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pretend you dont know here
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you're not in high school anymore??? it's okay bro a lot of people use tinder just be cool
ask her what the booty do
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"Oh hey! I recognize you! Wanna get coffee sometime?"
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wow I never realised how hard it was to get a gf. You usually always get cucked by Chad.
Do I seriously have to become the King of my domain just to get a freakin girlfriend? wtf
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"Faint hearts never earn fair ladies."
Man up, anon. Time to do pushups, stop watching porn, get a good haircut, don't jack off too much, buy a nice cologne, wear nice clothes, and learn how to communicate with women. Shit gets more complicated after High School, you have to actually try.
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>>17916184
That's only on the surface! I'm hygienic, I look after myself, I like making jokes and I know when to be serious.
Seems like you have to become some freakin billionaire just to get a date
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>>17916193
Nope. I've been pulling girls even when I was unemployed. Money helps, but you don't need it. It's about being confident with what you have.
Anonymous
"Opening up" in a Relationship 2017-01-03 12:08:50 Post No.17916168
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"Opening up" in a Relationship 2017-01-03 12:08:50 Post No.17916168
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"Opening up" in a Relationship
Anonymous
2017-01-03 12:08:50
Post No. 17916168
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I've been seeing a girl for about a year and a half, we've had issues like any couple but we worked through them. For the past few months, me being open with my feelings has been a big issue for her. I'm used to relationships where I keep to myself when it comes to my feelings. She felt disconnected from this so I decided to start telling her how I feel on the daily, like how she would tell me how she was feeling. But as the weeks went on it felt like she wasn't respecting me as she used to? She would use how I felt a few days ago or a week ago about something against me. Laugh at me if I got worked up over something small, and even began to yell/talk down to me if we disagreed on something which never happened before when I was more quiet about how I felt, so.. this has got me fucked up. I dumped her out of fear of where this would go. What the hell do you do, I talked to the boys and they said to never open up to a chick, or they treat you like a cuck. Very confused, do I forgive her and hope respect is restored?
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>>17916168
>that tranny
god damn it, I see this shitter too much on /v/ as it is
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>>17916168
be more aggressive to her, while not inherently being a dick.
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She sounds like a fucking bitch, stop dating her. You're allowed to feel, in a good relationship both people get to express ALL of their feelings. Find a new girl who is nice to you.