According to CNN, it takes $233,610 to raise a child WITHOUT college.
http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/09/pf/cost-of-raising-a-child-2015/index.html
Can someone explain to me again why I'm supposed to want to have one of these little leeches instead of buying cars, going on awesome vacations, and eating nicely?
You are not "supposed" to if you don't want to, smartypants. Lots of people choose not to have kids. And if you wanted to have kids instead, it wouldn't be so bad to make the money effort.
>>17940739
Same
I don't want kids and see them as little parasytes that make your life less enjoyable and take your money.
Every fucking man or woman I date wants kids and I really don't understand it beyond biological urges
>>17940763
The problem is, everyone looks at you like you're fucking crazy if you say you don't, and tries to insist "just do it, you'll totally fall in love with them after you have them!" Pretty big risk there, it's not like I can decide I don't like it and take it back to the baby store.
It wouldn't be frustrating if it weren't for people insisting that life is useless without kids.
Hey purefags and purefags that demand purefemanons, what exactly makes you think you're so special that you get to demand someone not live the way they want to?
i'm the opposite of pure but my guess is that it's insecurity.
I don't demand that someone doesn't live the way they do, I only hope that I can find a person who lives the way I do and that hopefully we are compatible with each other and can form a relationship.
I don't care if the guy has has some previous experiece in serious relationships and with people whom he loved. But I think sex and intimacy leads to a certain connection people who sleep around too much end up becoming numb to.
I want that connection to happen, so a long history of whoring isn't acceptable to my standards. Plus, so what. Either I get what I want, or I end up alone. I'm perfectly fine with either. The one unnacceptable outcome is being with a manwhore.
What's the next move that I make when I get back to university? I don't even have her number but I don't know what's a good excuse for it.
Pretty sure this girl on my floor is interested in me:
>"anon stop teasing me about X" (says this at least twice even though I wasn't even really trying to tease her, I was just making fun of a certain thing)
>"anon you have really nice eyes"
>her and some of her friends on the floor are talking out in the hallway a couple doors down and I come out out and her friends just say "wow anon, your hair looks really nice today" while she just kind of stares at me
>early in the morning when I'm headed to class, I make small chat and she tells me about her plans for the day and as I'm getting ready to part ways, she puts her hand on my shoulder and says "good luck today anon!"
>heading to take a shower at 2 in the morning and she's in the hallway and I strike up a conversation for a bit and I think she looked down twice in my dong area since I was wearing only a towel around the waist (but maybe she was just looking at the shampoo I was holding lol)
She's into me right?
What's a good place to ask her out to?
Your in af anon, go ask her out or something. Goodluck
Oh yh also ask her number
>>17940208
Is it okay to just ask her out in person the next time and then get her phone number?
Like
"hey, what's up are you doing anything this weekend?"
"no anon, I don't have much, what about you?"
"I've been meaning to go eat at this place, but don't have anyone to come with me. Do you wanna come?"
Does that sound okay?
I think I made the wrong choice for college. Im a second year at Columbia and it really blows. I applied here early because of the increased chance of getting in as well as a substancial amount of pressure from my dad. I really wanted the chance to apply to Princeton (and was originally going to apply early there first) but I couldn't since I got into Columbia early. For better or worse I'm stuck here the remaining 2 and half years. My question is how can I better live with my decision?
>>17938558
Too little information. What is your major and what are your goals?
What's bad about Columbia?
Your degree doesn't matter after you get your first job with it. Why do you care what university you go to?
>>17938558
I would kill to have gone to Columbia.
But why can't you apply to transfer?
So my ex broke up with me roughly a month ago. After 2 years I thought she was the one and was already planning my future around her. She dumped me on December 14th in person and didn't even give me a reason (the whole time kissing me and hugging me telling me she loved me) until almost 2 weeks later and it was via text. She refused to meet in person to talk about it and said we shouldn't talk and that there was no chance of us ever getting back together. Then I get this shit out of the blue today and it's got me so angry. I was just starting to be able to keep her out of my mind and attempt to move on but now she's pulled this bullshit and idk what to do from here
>>17936830
Do nothing, duh
What a ... fuck man I'm sorry. No Contact.
>>17936830
shes toying with you
block her from all communication mediums
proceed to get your shit together, live well, and let her find out through the grapevine what she missed out on
Especially if you're in your late 20s, all your friends are focusing on their careers and you barely see each other anymore and travel is expensive as fuck I'm not sure how anyone does it and why would you want to travel alone anyway. Basically everyday has devolved into work, working out, suffer crippling loneliness at night then repeat
>>17936063
Are you me ?
>>17936063
I don't enjoy being single living without love sucks
Honestly, nobody enjoys being alone. You may come across sociopaths who don't enjoy physical or emotional contact, but they still don't like being alone.
Coming from being an "outsider" (1 friend, no real social life), I deal with it by distracting myself. Find something you enjoy doing and do it, take your mind off the matter. When you go to bed at night, watch TV, Netflix or YouTube to distract yourself.
Try a chance of scenery. Get a new job, move to a new area, or just join a new gym. Make friends with the people you meet and see if they're up for going out to do something.
Can we have a thread for socially awkward people? I mean people who are perceived as boring, weird, awkward etc. I need advice on how to talk to other people. How to fit into group situations and conversations. Nobody really likes me. I have some friends but I get ignored in group situations because I don't know how to act. It's like people are speaking a different language. Some things I figured out (I'm 24 and this is stuff most people probably learn at 12 or 13)
1. always be positive
2. never interrupt
3. think really, really hard about if what you're saying fits into the conversation/is worth saying
4. try and relax
But, none of that shit really works and I spend most of my time alone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If I were a complete dullard autist I think I could just accept that and kill myself but there are times when I can be really funny and engage people. I pretty much never fit into a group though. i think I have something approaching a personality its just when I do/say something that gets socially rewarded I have no idea what I did or how to replicate it. I think I'm just a quiet person and I have social anxiety that causes me to "force it" like. my average response to any stimuli is like "Ok" I don't have much to say. my thoughts are extremely, extremely weird and pretty boring I think most of the time. But I don't just want to say nothing. I'm kinda losing my mind over it. I hate being a socially awkward weirdo. I want to die most of the time
I'm with OP on this one. It's great being a party and sitting alone staring into the abyss *sarcasm*. Never really had a conversation with anyone for the entire duration of the party.
>>17935759
>3. think really, really hard about if what you're saying fits into the conversation/is worth saying
This is false, don't do this.
Alright I'm in a pretty disgusting situation.
I'm 23 and I have cancer. But this is not my problem. The obvious choice is to try and cut it out, go on a medication and if that doesn't help, start a full blown chemotherapy. This is pretty much where my desperation starts.
My friends, my family, my loved one, so pretty much everyone I know and I care for doesn't seem to care. They all act like as if I have a common cold and need a band-aid or some shit. In other words: they're probably scared and don't know how to react, and I ended up with zero support whatsoever.
This is why I have decided to not fight it. I'll let it consume me and kill me. But this is not my problem either.
My actual problem is that my loved one, even though that she doesn't really care, threatened to not take her antidepressants and will kill herself when I don't do the therapy. Out of pure willpower, this therapy is pretty much impossible, it's the worst pain imaginable, it's he'll on earth, for weeks and months on end. If anyone of you got through this, you will know what I'm talking about.
I don't want her to do this though. I'm pretty much trapped because of that. She said she'll only take them if I go and suffer the ultimate suffering.
Should I fake going there maybe? Or should I just accept this world as it is? Note: I'm not asking for "op you're a faggot for being selfish" comments, but rather for words to tell and convince her to not do it. I care about her more than anything, but she doesn't care about me, not as a partner, or as a friend. I just don't understand these mixed signals.
I fucking hate being blackmailed.
Tldr op is kill due to cancer by his own decision and his loved one will also be kill if op keeps being a sack of shit and not do a chemo, op looks for ways to talk her out of it
>>17943687
Sorry for the phone generated mistakes, it should be readable nonetheless
Shit, OP. Go get treated and find better support systems in your life. I'm sure someone else will have some advice on how to deal with your partner, but I'm telling you that being cancer-free will be worth the hell that the treatment puts you through.
If it's not too private, what kind of cancer is it?
Cut it out and go on full-chemo.
It may be bad, but it's really the only known thing on earth that has a fighting chance against it.
I fell on my hand today (literally almost my entire weight fell on it because I couldn't quite mitigate impact with my legs) and it's been hurting.
I have full movement in my arm and palm and it's not very swollen, but when I set my palm in certain positions I can feel pain all the way between my wrist and elbow, same with lifting things heavier than a coke can. Also the pain was quite intense on the moment of impact but it's manageable now, only really hurts when I move my arm/palm in certain ways. Does it sound like it's broken? I'm going to visit a doctor on Thursday.
Bumpz
>>17943539
>I'm going to visit a doctor on Thursday
If you're able to manipulate your hand then probably not but I'm not a doctor. Just ice it and take ibuprofen until you can get to the doctor.
>>17943539
Had that. ER docs suspected one of the small bones of the wrist was broken so I spent 2 weeks in a full arm cast to make sure, but it ended up just being a bad sprain. Otherwise it was 2-3 months of the cast. Get it checked though.
>currently in university
>continous fights at home, first only with father cause he's a ragefag
>urge to drop out and get out of this hell hole
What's a quick to get in job that also can could provide enough for me to just grab a place, even small, and start my own life? I just don't want want to have to deal with parents/family anymore, I don't even feel at home here
100% relatable to my situation, bumping for answers.
>>17943554
Op here, currently looking for a job atm, I really wouldn't want to drop out of college, but I can't keep it up like this
>>17943567
I'm studying two embarrasingly pointless subjects at college. My dad is pressuring me to pursue a traineeship, but I really just want a small peaceful existence wherein I can afford a small living with my PC for WoW and thats all.
What are you studying at uni?
This life. Everyday I feel like I am drowning. I miss my mother. How can I live like this? I just want to sleep, forever if I can.
She died 3 years ago, Jan 18th 2014. What am I supposed to do? A motherless daughter...she was my best friend. Sometimes I think about just going away...ending my life so I can be free of this pain. But then I think of my dad and my husband. I can't be that selfish but it's difficult. I feel like I'm just living this life. Everything that happens, all the things I want to share with her. So many times I wanted to call her to tell her about my day.
Today I saw a woman walking a small dog on the way to the grocery store. I was thrown back into a past memory of my mom walking her little
dog Pepper. I felt so sad seeing that...when will this pain end? Isn't 3 years enough?!
>>17943530
>isn't 3 years enough
I didn't even acknowledge the death of my grandfather for 7 years I basically just forced it out of my head until 2013 where I tried and got past it just take your time with it
If it's still affecting your life this much after three years, then you probably need professional help.
How much have you actually been able to talk about this? How supportive have your family and friends been? Have you been able to open up to people at all?
What's the general mentality that you should have on Tinder?
I'm getting a lot of matches and girls want to talk but I can't seem to get the hook up.
be a dick
>>17943479
all the girl i have matched apart from one, either are looking to date or on it because they are bored.
>>17943494
this is from about 80 matches.
If someone says they study medicine, law, physics or economics then that it cool and you can have interesting conversations with them. There's interesting research in those fields. In accounting, not so much, which I realized when I was writing my thesis.
How do you make an accounting degree into something interesting, /adv/?
>>17943457
Are you interested in accounting? Then talk about it with energy. If you like it, then you know the interesting parts.
If you don't like it....well have fun with your accounting degree.
I'd find it very difficult to make an accounting degree sound interesting, but then I'd not do an accounting degree because I'm not interested in it. Surely by virtue of your desire to do an accounting degree you have some passion or interest in the topic which is unique to yourself and as such your passion and drive is relatable and interesting to others?
For a long time I was a cooker salesperson. It is REALLY difficult to make selling cookers sound interesting, but because I was interested in it I could talk extensively about the amusing customers, unique situations and projects, strange staff members and scenarios etc, certainly enough to pass off an otherwise boring job when socially required to amuse and make jobbie small talk.
Now I've got on the surface what seems to be a much more creative and interesting job (brewer for a small microbrewery and other beer based wholesale/pub/bar stuff) and it is literally the most boring thing to talk about ever because while everybody loves to drink beer, but nobody wants to dig into production efficiencies and improvements, process management, quality control, cell culture and viability, getting covered in filthy liquids and sludge, the sheer monotony of filling hundreds of casks and preparing them for transport, arranging logistics and all the other shit that is 95% of the job.
>>17943490
I have the same issue (mathematician).
I'm very passionate about my work, but I don't know how to talk about it with people without boring them to tears. No one wants to hear a bunch or crap they won't understand without hours of background, even other mathematicians don't haha.
So I typically don't talk about my work. If anyone has a way to make my work sound interesting I'm all ears. Right now I'm pretty sure my family things I just add and multiply really big numbers in my head all day...
I met this girl about 3 weeks ago and we hit it off pretty well. We had 2 dates where we got hot and heavy but no sex.
On Sunday she told me about her future and said she was worried, I told her not to worry, that it'll be ok, but she seemed very annoyed by that. Now she won't reply to messages.
Am I right in thinking it's finished? Or should I send an apology?
Don't apologize. Just stop sending her messages and live your life. She may come around, she may not. If she contacts you again don't even bring up the last conversation. Just make plans and do whatever you usually do and act like her ignoring you didn't even affect you. It's important to be interested but not too invested at this early stage. Also try not to fall into a pattern of her dumping problems on you. Only been on two dates and she's already trying to use you as an emotional tampon? That's not where you want a sexual relationship to go. Not as this juncture anyways.
>>17943290
3 weeks and no sex isn't girlfriend territory.
Just fucking drop her. If she slinks back see if she'll fuck. Don't develop any feelings for chicks before they put out. Learn your lesson.
>>17943303
>>17943305
Thanks guys, this makes a lot of sense. I am pissed she has taken this so personally, and the fact she denied sex and then seems to be upset about that is dumb. Thanks
I went to some local dinner today because I want to eat less fast food but was too lazy to cook, the tablet the waiter brought me had a small paper with something which looked like a phone number on it. What do you even do at this point? Do you just call the number later, maybe send a message or what? I'm so confused.
>>17943289
Did you think the waiter was cute? If so go ahead and send a message, if not ignore it.
I actually was on the subway yesterday when some guy ran up to the girl sitting in front of me, handed her his number on a little piece of paper, and ran out right before the doors closed. She was very flattered.
>>17943315
That's a good idea. I'm gonna try that
>>17943315
She was pretty cute, but I don't know man, I've honestly never talked with a girl before. She seems to be so much out of my league too, what should I even text her?