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What should i do anon?
There is this guy at work I really really hate, because he just brags and brags about how ' great ' him and how his life is not even carrying about how it damages my self esteem.
He literally shoves all his fucking achievements, everything he did that I didn't or at least couldn't do, down my fucking throat.
' hurdurhurdur you couldn't even do that! LOL LMFAO XDDDA I could do that without even trying !!! '
' anon, what was your gpa in hs?
> 3.2
Oh wow anon, i had a 4.0 XDDD '
>inb4 ' what a fucking pussy cant even stand up for yourself XDDD ' or ' kys '
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>>17971473
Tell him to stop being a dick and put some headphones in or walk away if you can.
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dude sounds like a social retard.
in terms of life success, being a social retard is in many ways worse than being intellectually deficient (which you don't seem like, to me).
if i were you, i wouldn't worry so much about what he thinks and would focus on developing your own interests, whatever they might be.
believe me, people like him have a very difficult time in life.
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>>17971473
Are you not a real woman? Just hit him with the cold shoulder, if he starts talking say you gotta do something. He'll get the hint eventually.
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I've had a guitar for years and tried many times to get into learning it.
I can sort of play a few chords at this point but I've never really taken to it.
Can't really spent more than a few minutes practicing. No interest.
Should I call it quits and do something else?
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>>17971468
>No interest.
Then why are you even asking? It's rewarding once you feel that you're getting better, but to get there you're going to have to put up with a lot of frustrating repetition of songs you just don't quite feel like you have the hang of yet. You just have to decide whether or not you're going to have the motivation to go through that process.
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>>17971475
this. but learning to actually play an instrument till you can enjoy it is different though. if you're just beginning you won't have your left and right hands in 'sync' with each other or be able to move your fingers right.
but it's kind of like a game where you can't beat but once you beat it then it's rewarding.
for me I mainly enjoyed guitar by wanting to play really difficult songs that were a challenge
something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmfzWpp0hMc took me months to learn
i slowly played through small sections at quarter of the speed then slowly worked up to the normal tempo. then did that for every section of the song and finally could play all the sections of the song (not perfectly though, which is another challange in guitar but still could play it decent not missing notes).
but learning guitar is mainly being able to strum or pick notes with your right hand in time/speed, and the left hand is mostly just muscle memory and pressing down on the notes correctly. so how you go about learning songs or learning guitar is most the part, there's better ways to learn how to play guitar.
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>>17971513
Is it much more engaging if you get real lessons from an actual teacher?
Anonymous
Are we assholes for kicking out or housemate? 2017-01-19 06:16:07 Post No.17971465
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Are we assholes for kicking out or housemate? 2017-01-19 06:16:07 Post No.17971465
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Are we assholes for kicking out or housemate?
Anonymous
2017-01-19 06:16:07
Post No. 17971465
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Housemate we've known since highschool (First year living together for college) is a nightmare to live with. Rude, messy, inconsiderate, never his fault, but always faulting others. Sometimes snotty, arrogant behavior for no reason other than to be rude.
>The other two housemates and I had a "meeting" saying that if he doesn't stop his shit (We're not giving him a warning, in fear he'll "get better" until we resign the lease) within a month before the semester ends (Lease ends in mid June, so he'll have approx two months to either move back home or find another place with other friends.
>We've brought up his behaviors multiple times to him, he doesn't give a shit. He apologizes but does the same shit over and over.
>One housemate says he'll flat out find another place if he does not DRASTICALLY improve.
We're not personally mad at him, but we've realized we will be better off without him if he keeps it up. One of the housemates consulted with a mutual friend about it, and mutual friend (Who is also friends with possible ex-housemate) says we're assholes for not just "accepting who he is, choosing not to get mad at it, and let him be him." even though it's stressing the rest of us out.
There's no way there's any validity to his argument right? We've given him talks about it before, but his behavior only stagnates or gets worse.
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Your friends don't always make good housemates.
Your mutual friend is a fucking idiot.
Good decision to not give him the ultimatum straight up but rather watch if he actually improves from you yelling at him. He would've shaped up for a month and gone right fucking back to it.
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>>17971472
My friend that confided in the mutual friend really doesn't want to HAVE to kick him out, but he's also the one that said he will leave if he doesn't shape up.
He kinda hinted at it, but it's obvious, because he bottles up his emotions instead of confronting people about his issues, that he really doesn't want to be the one to tell him he's gotta go.
I told him I'll do it by myself if I have to. We're only going to tell him to be out by the time we need to renew the lease when we find a replacement (A good friend, who is revered for being extremely clean and respectful is really interested in taking his place if he can get it cleared with his parents, he'll be a freshman this fall.)
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I don't think you're assholes for kicking him out, but I do think you're assholes for doing it with no warning. I hope you're not hoping to stay friends with him (and probably a lot of mutual friends) after this either.
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>Meet girl over summer through fucking tinder
>Fall for her over the course of 10 days
>We move apart, she leads me on, get heart broken, all that bullshit
>get over it
>half an hour ago she messages me on steam out of the blue
>we talk
>old wounds I thought were gone reopen
>finish talking to her
>quietly unfriend her, unfollow her on all social media, delete all contact info and lingering pics from my phone
I did the right thing yeah? I'm just so sick of this gut wrenching feeling, I'm done with it. The old me would have felt guilty deleting any trace of her but it's become clear to me that if I don't I'll never fully move on.
So just to clarify I did good deleting the cleavage and ass pics and stuff right? They were more for an ego boost and bragging rights anyway.
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>>17971462
Validate my desicion you faggots
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>>17971462
IMO? Good on you anon. Ripping that bandaid off sucks big time, but if she was just making you miserable it's not worth it
The only thing that's kind of shitty is the ghosting, but then again it sounds like she did it to you first so w/e
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>>17971462
What did she say in the message?
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How does one not think about the fact your girlfriend has had multiple exes with whom she slept? Kind of makes the relationship feel tainted and just another walk in the park. Unless women perceive things differently somehow. Anyone else familiar with this?
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>>17971400
Keep this repetitive insecurity to one thread please >>17971142
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>>17971400
Do you have multiple exes or at least an ex?
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>>17971400
People fuck, get over it. Not trying to be a dick. I remember being younger and having the thought of my gf banging other guys bother me. Then you grow up, get a few notches in your own bed post and realize it's no big deal. It's just sex.
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Why is it so hard to be friends with women?
>tfw can't befriend some girls without them thinking you're trying to hit on them
>tfw can't hang out with a girl without them thinking it's a date (no matter how clearly you reassure that's it purely platonic)
>tfw can't befriend a girl without her getting pissy about other women you talk to
>tfw can't befriend some women without one of their guy friends making a big deal out of it, and threatening to cut her off unless she gets rid of you
>tfw can't befriend women without people thinking you two are dating
>tfw can't be physically affectionate and cuddle with a female friend without her eventually growing distant and seemingly uncomfortable, perhaps even avoiding you, but when you start to get uncomfortable in return, and tell her you no longer want to be friends, then she keeps trying to get back in touch no matter how many times you've blocked her
>tfw can't hang out with a friend over stuff you two are passionate about and really enjoy without her eventually putting a distance because her boyfriend thinks you two are getting too close
>tfw can't befriend some women because they constantly think there's an ulterior motive behind you wanting even anything to do with them
And don't give me that shit about how women only make boring, uninteresting friends. These women are the complete opposite of that. And friendship with other men only prove to be elementary, trite, odious, and abusive.
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Generally if you're heterosexual, it's difficult to be friends with the opposite sex. I mean, it's possible, despite what people here will tell you. But because of sexual urges, romantic feelings, and cultural expectations to name a few, there are more risks and complications involved.
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>>17971385
Probably because a lot of women have "friendzoned" guys that developed feelings for them.
I realize it sucks, but in a way it's because the girls want to avoid hurting people. Having to crush a friend because you're not romantically interested in them is no fun.
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I blame /r9k/
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>meet this girl in December at the work Christmas party
>decide to go clubbing after with her and some people
>when she's drunk she keeps touching me and playfully shoving, etc
>keeps complimenting me all night
>fast forward to last sunday
>Her and I + the same work group go to the bar
>still playfully smacking me and being touchy
>the bar sucks so we decide to hit up the liquor store and go to some one's house to end the night
>it's like a 40 minute walk
>the whole time her and I talk
>she tells me really personal
>like her friend commiting suicide last year, etc.
>feelsbadman
>we get to the house and get absolutely hammered
>she goes out of her way to sit next to me on the couch
>I put my arm around her for like a good hour and a half
>bringing her close, she's holding my hand and shit
>earned the name "lady's man" from the other 2 girls
>She shows me all her drawing and art she has on her phone
>eventually I say "I gotta lay down so either get up, or lay next to me"
>she lays next to me arms around each other and snuggled up to my chest
>tells me her whole life story
>at this point I'm rubbing her back and she's still hugging me
>eventually move to the bed with her and spoon with her all night
>at like 6am she gets an angry phone call from her mom to get home
>Her mom is literally shouting over the phone, I can hear it
>she ducks out to walk home
>I texted her yesterday night and she brings up animation
>we talk about different artistic mediums
>after a few back and forth long texts she just stops replying
>I assume she fell asleep
>haven't heard back from her since
Did I just cuddle-cuck myself? Is there anyway back from this or did I muddy the waters with my beta? FUCK
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>>17971332
You're just being self councious.
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does she seem like a nutcase? if no, you're good. you two bonded. that is good. that's what brings people closer together.
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>>17971416
No she's just a quiet nerdy girl who seems like she doesn't have anyone to talk to. Do I just try to hit the bar with the group again with her or try to take her out one on one? (I don't drive) I pretty much need alcohol to have any confidence at all.
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I found out my fiancee has been cheating on me for quite some time yesterday. I've kicked her out of my place and am devastated, not only because I lost her, but because I'll probably have to be the one who tells her parents that we're not getting married.
I /love/ her parents. They are the kindest, most humble persons I have ever met. They have always loved me like a son and would do anything to make me happy. My mother passed away when I was 9, and my relationship with my father was always hit and miss, so I felt like they were the parents I never had. I just don't know how to tell them that their daughter completely fucked up everything. I don't want hurt them.
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You don't have to tell them anything. They'll figure it out when you aren't around anymore and if they really care about you, they'll be disappointed in their daughter for awhile. Telling them yourself is petty. If you're vindictive at all about your relationship, just avoid her parents because it's not your place to talk to them about this.
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>>17971343
Unless the chick in the kind of person to lie to her parents about the reason for them not getting married anymore in a way that paints him as the bad guy. If he wants her parents to still think highly of him, he should come clean with them.
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>>17971499
If he's as important to them as they are to him, then they won't blindly accept what she tells them without hearing his side of the story first.
Anonymous
How to interact positively with Normies 2017-01-19 05:17:22 Post No.17971326
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How to interact positively with Normies 2017-01-19 05:17:22 Post No.17971326
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How to interact positively with Normies
Anonymous
2017-01-19 05:17:22
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Just got out of the psych ward where I felt safe and judgement-free, happy even. Being around people like me and being understood felt awesome. Now that I'm discharged, I don't want to go back to trying to pretend I'm "normal" anymore. It feels good being me. I just want some thoughts on what it means to be myself in a positive healthy way with "normal" people who don't have a mood disorder. Pic unrelated.
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Just be yourself. Don't worry too much about judgements. everybody is different and thus nobody is perfect. Some people will just have to accept you, as long of course you don't put thier life in danger.
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>>17971346
Yeah the judgements part isn't something I'm worried about anymore thankfully. I just am really open about having been in the psych ward and my experiences which seem off-putting to some people. Is it wrong to share that? I don't understand why people get so weird about it. Nobody gets weird about people talking about the cancer they survived or the surgery they're recovering from.
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>>17971360
Just keep talking to ppl. Figure out what makes them uncomfortable. Think about it from their perspective.
It's good that you're trying to help yourself.
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One night this past weekend while at a friend's house, an acquaintance of theirs who invited himself over had a psychotic break from excessive alcohol consumption and proceeded to, among other things, act belligerent towards other guests and punch cars in the driveway, including my own.
Eventually the police were called who defused the disturbance, and a friend escorted the person back to his place.
While I didn't notice anything while inspecting the car immediately thereafter in the rainy night, I found a group of 2-3 new dings/impressions on the hood corresponding to where he was hitting it, when the weather cleared up a couple days later. It's an early 2010s Mercedes Benz, and its repair/maintenance is not cheap.
I'd like to see to it that (1) this is repaired, and (2) the individual in question is held accountable legally and/or financially for the damage caused. I know his name, and should know his address if needed by authorities.
How should I approach this situation? What avenues (e.g., call my insurance company?) should be taken?
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doggie u got a mercedes why can't you just go call ur lawyer or something lmao
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>>17971270
I don't have a lawyer since I have not found myself in a situation that requires one before.
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Anyone with experience with this scenario?
Not even sure if this is deserving of a thread, but basically
>bf and i have been together for a long time
>bf is about to transfer to uni, we're on a slower school route because we both have to work to sustain living
>throughout school, I have encouraged bf so much
>take time out of my study time to tutor him on info he doesnt get
>dont push him hard, but whenever he talks about his goals, I tell him he'd be great at the field of study he's going in to
I do this all because I truly believe bf will be so great in his field. Bf never really thanks me or shows appreciation. I always make time to be supportive and show him the basics and breakdowns of how close he is to graduating.
I thought I was being really motivating.
Then he came over after work one day and told me that he was chatting with his female coworker about school and with like, stars in his eyes, he told me that she completely motivated him to finish school
Idk, I was just crushed. Like I'm here in behind the scenes helping bf. Being really generous and supportive with effort and time and emotional investment. Then one girl had a chat with him on his break and I feel so unappreciated.
Should I let it go? Do I talk to him about it? It feels like all my effort is unrecognized... I feel jealous and it feels like I am not doing my job as a gf correctly. What do
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>>17971180
He's seeing it coming from an outside perspective
Like, of course you're going to support him. You're his GF. Someone from the outside "means" more because it's not assumed.
It's a bit shitty yeah, and I can see how you'd be disappointed
But it's understandable why he'd feel that way
Do you think your relationship can handle a conversation that frank?
Depends on the people involved and so I can't say one way or another.
But neither of you are wrong to feel the way you both feel
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>>17971180
sometimes its hard to appreciate something thats there every day. when people are being supported daily it can almost sound like nagging.
she may also have just worded it better. its kind of like when soemone comes to you saying they have a problem and all you say is
>DONT WORRY
>IT'LL GET BETTER!
and you say that a thousand times. than someone else just says 'i get it, ive been there' and they just actually talk about the problem.
then you say you feel crushed because you've been supporting this person when all you do is spew platitudes.
im not there, i cant say what it is, and your fears me be correct. he may just have a crush on this girl and thats why it struck a spark.
want to find out?
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>>17971180
classic case of one partner taking the other for granted. looks like its not your fault, provided the information you have volunteered is accurate and complete.
enjoy your breakup
Anonymous
Is minimalism a meme? 2017-01-19 04:21:15 Post No.17971162
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Is minimalism a meme? 2017-01-19 04:21:15 Post No.17971162
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I've been looking into it and based on what I've read I feel like it could be good for me. I've always kind of idealized a small quiet life, so I was wondering if anyone here is one/knows somebody who is a minimalist and how to get started. Is it also even possible to start in college? Or just wait until I graduate and get a place of my own?
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>>17971162
minimalist here.
its worth every second you live it.
get inspired by pic related (masao yamamoto, japanese photographer and artist).
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>>17971162
depends on how you define it, but a LOT of people live minimalist lives, they can't afford much, have to share rooms, eat shitty food etc.
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>>17971179
How do I begin? How does it affect my social life?
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Hello /adv/ I am conflicted
I'm dating this girl but at the same time I also like the dick. She already knows this because I told her about it when we first started dating. We've been together for a while. She's always fun to be with and I honestly can see her as a lifelong companion. She's honestly an all around great person and we always make each other happy. We have sex occasionally but I don't think I've ever truly enjoyed it, there's always that lingering homosex lust.
I know sex isn't everything and that as I get older I'll have less libido and won't be craving as much, which is also why my desire to experiment is growing. I'm not getting any younger, and I won't have as much opportunity later on. Ideally I would want to stop dating and stay friends, but this is real life and that shit will never happen. I already find it difficult to make deep connections with people, so if I go through with it I'm almost guaranteed to never find another person like her and will most likely die alone, which is why I'm having a lot of trouble calling it off. It's basically a tradeoff between my penis and my heart.
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>>17971097
how old are you?
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>>17971102
24, which in my opinion is that point in age where you have to consider these decisions
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>>17971128
>24
>which, with my experience if life after 24 is the age you have to settle down.
no. even if you did, you'd just divorce in your thirties cuz you're too homosex for her.
people are settling down at all sorts of ages and then settling down again later. its a myth that you aren't going to find someone better than her, you might even find a better man than her, or another woman better than her.
don't try so hard to be mature that you end up being naive.
Anonymous
Never meant anything to anyone 2017-01-19 03:49:59 Post No.17971073
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Never meant anything to anyone 2017-01-19 03:49:59 Post No.17971073
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Never meant anything to anyone
Anonymous
2017-01-19 03:49:59
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>Since I was a child Father would beat me, daily, without reason while my family (Only Sisters and a Mother) ignored it and just didn't care.
>Inside every friendship, I'm the third wheel, disposable and always left behind.
>So many Tutors through highschool have tried telling me I'm not worth shit and won't amount to anything.
>My Highschool/College sweetheart of 4 years reveals she never loved me, only dated me for the affection and the image it gave her.
I've hit the lowest point of my life, I've finally realized that nobody has ever cared for me, I've never meant anything to anybody and likely never will.
I'm only 21 yet I already feel like death is the best way out.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
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>>17971073
you just learned at 21 that youre not a special flower that cant get attention all of the time? i learned that at 14. maybe you mature slower.
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>>17971073
I'm 28. The situation honestly gets worse, but ironically, you care less and less, so it works out in a twisted sort of way. You'll make it, lad.
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Here's the thing
It doesn't matter
Once you realize that, the world is open.
The biggest mistake people make is that they think that other people need to validate their happiness
Fuck that
Happiness is something you create for yourself.
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My wife acts completely irrationally sometimes, and it drives me nuts. The other day, I put a small dirty plate on the drying rack just for a few minutes while preparing our newborn's bath (we use a plastic tub that we put in the sink). She flipped out and snapped at me, and I snapped back (which I never do).
I told her that I get up every morning at 5:30 to do chores before going to work for 11 hours a day, and that having an attitude about something so trivial is unnecessary. She claimed that my chores don't mean anything because I sometimes make mistakes while doing them and because I take a one hour free time break (my only free time each day) before work instead of helping with the baby. I help with the baby all the time and just want one hour to myself each day. She doesn't go to work and gets to stay home because she's on maternity leave. I completely understand that doesn't mean she has a relaxing life and that she is very busy, too, but at least she can stay home.
Not really sure what to do. When she gets like this, I just stop talking to her for days at a time because talking never solves anything. She usually ends up crying and asking me to forgive her, but it has happened so many times now that I'm fed up. I'm tempted to tell her that I don't see her as a friend anymore because that's how I really feel. If she treated a normal friend this way, they would definitely just abandon her at this point. She doesn't realize that the only reason I put up with it is for the sake of our marriage and the sake of our child.
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>>17971068
Let her know that's how you feel, and that you want to work together to make things better. If she loves you and wants your relationship to survive, she'll hear you out and the two of you can start to work on things.
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>>17971068
>our newborn
There's your problem. You were stupid enough to have kids. Your relationship is hosed as the stress of a screaming ungrateful hurricane of destruction /money drain will ruin things.
Enjoy your divorce and alimony payments. Also get snipped.
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>>17971083
I've tried several times in the past. We make up and are fine for a couple of months, but then it slowly starts to degrade again where she starts treating me poorly.
I normally can't bring up anything because she immediately takes great personal offense to the slightest things. Here's an example:
>There's no need to be so upset about this.
>"Sorry for not being a perfect wife and doing everything wrong, then."
>What? I never said anything like that.
>"I get it, I get it. I'm wrong, and you're right. It's always me that's wrong. You think you're so special? You don't do anything right, ever. Don't bother to help out if you can't do shit."
It keeps going on like that. The thing is, if I don't help out and stay out of her way, she gets mad at me for not helping out and "lazing around".
>"Oh wow, must be nice to do what you want and have no chores to do."
I can't fucking catch a break, no matter what I do.