Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 274. page

I don't think there's a definitive answer out there. From were I come from (sorry for the pun, couldn't resist) fapping all the time whenever there's an opportunity is an extreme. Not fapping at all is an extreme too. Just fap from time to time and find a balance between the two extremes that works for you...

>>18673432
Well, I'm a 20 year old guy who has sex regularly but never fapped. Comparing to my other friends, the is no difference, maybe the tine wasted on porn or hiding

>>18673432
no fap doesn't really work unless you are also working out on a daily basis heavily and are working on your social life and career. I see no fap as a method of discipline to get your shit in order.

When I don't fap I work out twice as much, get my shit done, and hit on girls constantly. But you have to also wok out, go out, and work hard.

How much are you making doing online sales? I'm about the same age as you selling cars and I'm doing pretty good.

why the fuck would you want a career? why not simply keep selling stuff, if you already have the experience? sell more expensive stuff, learn more about it, ...
or, you could learn, say, programming WHILE selling stuff, and apply your knowledge to improve your income, or whatever
careers suck, only a few people make it to the top... which is why they are called "careers" in the first place.
also, yes, not having a degree or formal upper education WILL limit your possibilities.

>>18673426
>How much are you making doing online sales? I'm about the same age as you selling cars and I'm doing pretty good.
Iv'e made 11k YTD. But thats gross income. I do make a lot more during the holidays. Maybe 18-20k net by the end of the year? It's not bad, but iv'e had listings removed by Amazon, scared of getting banned. I got banned on Ebay when I was in high school. But I was dumb then

>>18673436
I just don't know what i'm going to be doing 5-10 years from now. Will what i'm doing right now still work then? I doubt it, i'd have to adapt, but I guess thats in any field. I don't necessairly want to "make it to the top" in a career, just start out somewhere, get promoted end up making like $40-50k a year. I live frugally so I don't really want or need to make six figures

I do like the idea of learning programming on my own. That's a good idea

You sure he isn't queer? Tattoos are a plus.

>>18673394
Just explain to him how much your grandmother meant to you, and if he's a good bf he'd understand and support you in your decision.

>>18673642
>Muh taste is the best
How insufferable

>>18673394
What exactly did he say to you?

do things with him

>>18673365
Can you think of any reason why you might not be feeling the love? Did something happen? Have multiple changes happened? When did it seem like the love started to, or completely, fade away?

>>18673365
going through the exact same problem too. when did you realize it?

for me it was meeting someone i really sparked with. i've never connected with my boyfriend like this and i'm not sure how i'd even begin.

That's fucked up, you need to move

>>18673360
I had a friend that was in a relationship with his cousin. Nothing wrong or bad happened. But I don't know about the "having kids part"

My grandfather's brother also married his cousin but he asked permission to the pope, the pope let them

Don't ask me how or why, but it's a true story. If you are religious maybe you can write a letter to the pope? I'm not joking

The difficult part is letting your family accept you. I'd say do it if you are serious and that's that. I don't see why it would bw wrong

Gud luk OP

>>18673360
>4th grade cousin
This isn't how we measure inbreeding in murrica, elaborate.

>>18673357
Just save enough money and come to America or something.

Whereabouts in London? North, south, east, west?

To be fair to humans, London is just a shithole.
I've recently moved here, I knew it wasn't going to be a fairy tale, but damn, this place is even more crap than I thought. I appreciate some good chaos, but this is just pointless, chaotic, dirty mess. I do enjoy some of the architecture and some of the culture, but like, it's not worth it overall.

File: lower standards 2.jpg (125KB, 924x572px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 924x572px

>>18673342
Post screens of your dating profiles.

Do you have any passions?

File: know-it-alls.jpg (16KB, 393x299px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 393x299px

>>18673463
Deleted all of them. With that picture, why would I? You're just setting me up to say something shitty and belittle me. No thanks.

I simply don’t have that much capital to throw around, unlike Jimmy. In addition, I want to plan the business strategy before putting up capital, and this upsets Jimmy, as he believes I move to slowly. Both times we have discussed businesses, he tells me shortly after that he has started the business without me.

Here’s the scary part. I learned from a mutual friend – one of Jimmy’s employees – that he has not started any new businesses. A few days ago, I nonchalantly ask Jimmy how the two businesses were doing, and he responded with lies. I know they are lies both because of what the mutual friend had told me and because of the impossibility of what Jimmy had told me (i.e., He had bought a hotel and was renting it out at $2k per night, with every night booked; the online business we had discussed was already up and running, but he couldn’t show me the website because it was private and password-encoded).

I need advice. Should I continue being friends with him? Should I tell him I know he’s lying? Why can’t he accept that I’m successful?

>>18673290
Sounds like those business "deals" are a way for him to get quick cash. He has an underlying problem he's not addressing. He was misrible in his marriage right? Well he still is. He uses shows to blanket the real issue. That's why he's a passive aggressive asshole. You should tell him that straight up. Be real with him because no one else is.

>>18673298
Be straight with him. Realize this. People strive to overcome and go over the next obstacle. It goes on forever. This jimmy made it, he hasn't set new goals and he's miserable for it. When that happens many people spread there misery like a disease. It's a cry for help. Doesn't mean you have to help him, it's not your problem. But you said it yourself he's miserable. How do miserable people feel good? By bringing others down. Tell him how it is. Don't tip toe around bullshit other people throw at you.

define toxic. wtf happened.

>>18673479
I don't know, it was a lot of stuff. I suffer from extreme social anxiety and paranoia so it's hard to say how much of it was in my head, while she was very depressed and her medication made her had fits of rage where she would lash out at me for absolutely no reason and then try to convince me she was right to do so, which is one thing I absolutely cannot tolerate (one of these bouts was the catalyst for our break-up).

For my part, I probably used her for sex and as a result it kind of turned into the basis of our relationship. I no longer felt an emotional/romantic connection with her (couple of reasons for this) and I'm not sure I ever did, so the sex and other material favors were the only thing I felt I stood to gain from being in a relationship with her. Her medication also killed her libido so she was no longer interested in having sex, which I took as a sign of not being interested romantically in me because of my fixation on the sex in our relationship. As such I became very jealous and anxious, perhaps controlling to a degree. She flipped back and forth between being okay with me having sex with other women and getting very jealous as well (I did have sex with other women but I never told her). This anxiety made it so that we were no longer comfortable around each other the way we used to be, we would snap at each other more, little transgressions had the potential to become big fights. We had a talk about our relationship, she said she wasn't interested in taking it any further than it was already which made me angry. The ironic thing is that I agreed with her that our relationship didn't have much of a future, and it's something I had known since the beginning. But to hear her say it made me angry. Eventually she said she wanted to take a break from our relationship, later on we got into a big fight

I guess, in the end, I was a bit of a hypocrite. I wanted her to take our relationship seriously and not have to do that myself.

>>18673527>>18673479
I guess nothing too crazy, it seems like a pretty normal way for a relationship to end. You get too comfortable with each other, you start caring less and less whether you hurt the other person, eventually that environment gets worse and worse.

I know that I wasn't happy in the relationship and I know that it was necessary for us to break up for me to be able to move forward in life. She was a very negative person, just in the ways that she thought and interacted with people, and I feel like that affected me to become a worse person. I think I used to be a brighter, more interesting, happier person before I met her, and I feel myself slowly going back to the way I used to be, which makes me happy. But I also gained a lot of perspective being in that sort of long-term close relationship and I'm grateful to her for that, and the truth is I probably shouldn't have treated her as poorly as I did at times. I should have just been mature enough to end it on good terms, but I wasn't and I didn't. I just pushed and pushed until there was no going back, as I tend to do. Usually I am very good at discarding people from my life, but I've been having trouble with her. I do miss her, but truthfully I don't know if it's just the sex or the feeling of intimacy I miss, and not really her. I dont know. I also feel strangely competitive about it, I feel like we've become enemies and by asking for forgiveness I am somehow conceding defeat. I think this might be an unhealthy way of looking at the situation.

All that situation would have been avoided if you made it clear during the date that you want nothing to do with a girl in a relationship. Sorry mate but you had the shit you deserved

>>18673237
There's a reason everyone says not to date people from work.

The best thing you could possibly do is keep your distance from this chick because this is going to blow up into an HR disaster eventually thanks to all the retards involved (including you) and you don't want there to be a reason for them to point the finger at you because you accidently make a stupid move which is almost guaranteed to happen if she bothers you long enough.

>>18673237
An unfortunate mess that could have been avoided.

If she tries to argue, I'd just say a short, sweet "We are not dating, I am not going to be your side man. Don't argue with me like we're in a relationship, because we are not." or whatever. Then ignore her after that. She'll probably squirm and cry but at least you won't look like a little bitch and have some dignity.

Don't engage anymore and if she gets crazy, you report her to HR because I am sure you still want to keep this job.

It's time to take the high road, anon. She is not worth it.

>>18673236
>Friends
With mutual respect without letting them walk over you
>GF
same but I have sex with her

the same way you treat guys.

>>18673244
>muh gendur equality

>>18673223
The fact that they even have a dedicated term in the used car market for scam cars should have been enough to deter you from buying used. Try getting a new car next time lad

>>18673223
Replace the battery, a consumable item being worn out (tires, lights, brakes, fluids) in a car isn't indicative of being a lemon. If issues with transmission or the engine that require extensive labour to fix then its a lemon.

>>18673223
>not going with someone who knows cars
>buying straight away
Wew lad.
As off what you can do, go back to the dealer and demand a refund. If it's bad enough, complain to whatever gov't section deals with fair trade.

>>18673141
>23
>doesn't want to take a huge life altering decision
Really scrambles the eggs

>>18673141
Because you really don't want a baby(ies) at that age. Having a child at that age means next 15-18 years to be commited to them, but in the meantime you'll go "nobody's paying attention to me" attitude and you'll simply wreck few lives (your husband and theirs). That's why.

Take your time to build something around you and internally (as in mentally) and then go for an offspring.

>>18673141

I don't think you can ever convince someone to want to have kids, nothing worse than an unmotivated parent

Ive had a similar struggle with my gf (we're both 26) she's finished med school in a year or two and our lives should be pretty comfortable by then, we want to get married but she's way more keen on kids than I am. I don't really want to have kids, not 100% on it but i'd say i'm like 80/20 on not wanting to have kids.

She's the kind of woman I'd have kids with but I just don't really want kids and I'm scared that some day that might break us up because she seems dead set on having them at some point, she doesn't "ask" me for them ever, she even has an IUD so we can have raw sex but still, she's told me she wants to some day and I just don't know if I can ever see myself in the position of wanting to be a father and be comfortable with it, (i grew up without a father figure so that makes me feel disadvantaged, and I also just think that you shouldn't parent unless you're 100% sold on having kids, even if its a struggle, if you want to have kids you should) thats my issue

Sorry to tangent but hopefully you both find what you are looking for

>>18673133
Her work is essentially her husband anon. Unfortunately, there is going to be very low odds you'll be able to do anything to change this. Your literally one level behind being a cuck at this point

>>18673133
You're being selfish. Work is something you can't help. It's something that has to happen to live. She has really good work ethic, and depending on her job, she could be getting paid to be on call, which means it's her job to be at attention for those emails at all times.

It's called being responsible. Now, clearly you have options. Maybe you would feel more comfortable with a jobless layabout that clings to you at every moment of the day like a leech and resents every moment you choose to have away from her. Yes there are plenty of those if you are feeling starved for attention.

>>18673154
>really good work ethic
Yes goy, keep working hard for no extra pay

>>18673119
>still lives with her now ex-boyfriend

Do you know for sure the relationship is actually over? Does she have kids with him?


>I consider moving on
that's the correct move

>>18673119
>still lives with her now ex-boyfriend.
>still living with her ex, whom she "will always love"
Are you pretending to be retarded?

>>18673137
On most levels it is over. I don't have the insight to say more. She doesn't have kids with him, no. He also has depressions and she didn't dare to leave him like this.

How to move on without killing myself on the way by losing my best friend?

>>18673143
If retarded means in love, then yes.