Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2736. page

>>17976590
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

>>17976590

it is not noble to suffer for the sake of suffering. being noble implies you have high moral principles. suffering so others may have joy is considered noble. but just suffering to suffer or just suffering to be seen as noble is an egotistical teenage mindset, the kind that makes people like tumblr act like they are the victim all god damn day. cuz being the victim means they are fighting against the odds and taking the pain and beingtoo good for this world.

is suffering necessary? kinda. some people have likely been born in to higher classes and barely suffered at all in their existence. a select few.

but as a general rule, its just a part of life. not something you'd call a necessity, but just a part of it.

>>17976611
The kind of suffering I was considering was the one caused by situations out of control of the person, such as having been unjustly wronged and ridiculed or decisions from superiors or politicians that have negative repercussions
Would it be correct to ignore this and let time fix it by itself or is it more correct to try to act in an attempt to change the situation?

>>17976604
Do you mean that suffering from other reasons is unnaceptable?

What denomination are you looking to get into?
Probably not a good idea to become a preacher if you don't already have the motivation to drop your bad habits. It's kind of hard to lead other people in the right direction when you're still headed in the wrong one.

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>>17976580
Just admit it. You're a weak person.

>>17977048
I can't tell if this is ironic shitposting or if you're trying to be serious

>>17976566
Sorry, OP

Option 1:
You do a poor job of turning her on in bed or don't do the things that turn her on for long enough to get her wet
Option 2:
She's anxious (whether it's from it being her first or it hurting, and if she's dry it IS hurting regardless of how much lube you add, because wetness isn't the only thing to change with arousal)
Option 3:
She has a medical condition that causes her to produce inadequate lubrication
Option 4:
She has some weird hangups about sex she needs to work through to be able to let herself be turned on
Option 5:
She thinks you're ugly

I'd bet it's some combination of one and two, especially if it's your first girlfriend and/or her first time. Good news is that both are fixable.

It's probably because she's anxious or thinking of other things. I really loved my boyfriend and was hot and horny for him but I was sometimes really worried about stupid things like did my breath smell bad, was I making him feel good, etc. and then I'd not get wet or anything. Just have a conversation with her about it.

>>17976538
Do you still talk to your ex?
How long were you together?
How long since you've split?

I was in a similar situation and found that talking to her helped me as a form of therapy. It's helped both of us.

Gotta get those feelings off your chest.

>>17976554
No I don't. Together for 2 years, split for 6 months.

How did you approach talking to her

>>17976570
I didn't approach her. She approached me.
Showed up on FB and started sending me messages after a few years. The only discussions we had prior to that was in regards to the divorce process.
At first I couldn't handle her wanting to be friends and just start talking after so long. I got mad at her and told her never to speak to me again.
It started eating me up inside until a week or so later I apologised. I had been running from what I thought was the problem (her) and decided it would be healthier to approach the issue and Se it (contact with her) as something I could take positives from.

>>17976502
once you've downloaded TOR, find the hidden wiki. There are several, you'll just have to nose around the links a little to find the legit one. Be careful, clicking the wrong thing could fuck you. Best of luck

So hidden wiki is the first stop. Will it show a listing of what websites are there?

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>>17976502
>the deep web

>>17976491

you can't, other than continuing to struggle. you are the only one who can control your mind.

you can also surrender control of your body over to someone else. like keep certain rules taht your girlfriend checks up on you for. like shes supposed to go through your phone whenever she feels like it, at least once a week, and you're not allowed to go out without her.

but its pretty hellish

>>17976497
In my case it is virtual flings. I've had girls hit on me relentlessly in real life and I shut them down.

I have a disconnect in my mind with what I do in real life compared to online. Does that make sense?

It sounds like you have too much time on your hands. When you turn to virtual reality, you tend to neglect the things in your real life, including your girlfriend.

Do you still live with your mother or something?

How do you have time to cultivate flings online?

>>17976480

im gay, so i refuse to answer this. enjoy your gay ass headache.

>>17976481

just kidding. could you imagine?

anyways, headaches usually come wiht sinus problems but nyquil is for sleep, so its going to knock you out and not in a good way like melatonin can. read the box and see what it treats. headache is probably listed.

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>>17976483
lol you had me going for a sec

it says headache, but specifically sinus headache pain... is that any different from a regular cold headache?

Also meant to say I took Dayquil oops

Dont compare yourself. Talk to him about it. He either grows from the convo or you find someone who will appreciate you completely. It is simple.

> I can't even hear him give me any compliments because all I can think is it's not me he's thinking of.

So he compliments you and you think he's actually talking about his ex for some reason? Why do you think he's lying to you about her?
Honestly you seem like a crazy little girl that needs some more experience before you try having a serious relationship.

You either just have faith in him or you talk to him or you get out now.

Do not stew in it. It will destroy the relationship if you let that grow.

You entered a relationship and part of that is taking a risk you are gonna end up hurt.

>>17976442

are oyu being a bitch cuz you offer to hang out but she doesn't? kinda. not like a rude bitch but like, you're acting like a whiny little bitch kind of bitch.

mental illness aside, some people are followers, and women tend to be followers. most women dont make their own plans unless its with other women (and even then only the 'alpha' or desperate women do).

they just wait til the guy says they want to do something.

a few perks that come wiht this is that the guy is responsible and often ends up paying for stuff

>>17976446
Can anyone else confirm the whole women don't like to make plans with guys thing? We're just friends btw so it kinda makes a little sense.

>>17976442
>>17976623
Some people are just passive, but her depression may have something to do with it. As long as she's not cancelling on you repeatedly, it's not an issue.

No

Women have all the power make all the choices, you just have to pick up on it and decide how to play it

They just do a good job of making you think your the one making decisions or steering the relationship

>>17976407

> indifferent girl
I have no strong opinion on this

>>17976407

yes. but if you're posting here asking, you're probably not going to have any luck

>i'm in Venezuela
>she's in Germany
>we're friends of steam
>i'm falling for her

I had to stop there, man
your feelings are significant, but this situation doesn't seem significant. what's going to come out of this steam relationship?

I guess a steam relationship can be okay, but curb your expectations a little bit

the fact you two are falling in love with each other over steam most likely means you two need to get out more

>>17976409
sorry to be cynical, btw
this is just one person's perspective

>>17976409
I mean, between job, college, living in a piece of shit place and just not being in the mood, she's like the only person that makes me happy, and I don't want to go back to my dull routine, we often share selfies and stuff, so I don't know if that helps. Sorry for the cringe I just need to get this off my chest.

>>17976372
if you want to leave and yet you live with him, I'd say you have bigger fish to fry than him sitting next to you often

why not just fix the overall situation instead of bitching about where he sits?

that would be like if I was in a failing relationship with a girlfriend, living in *her house*, and then somehow getting up in arms because she didn't greet me nicely

no, it's a failing relationship. the fact you aren't interested in him means you should fuck off and let him go on with his life, not complain about him being attached to you

him being attached to you in spite of you not liking him is your own responsibility

dumb

>I'm about to kms just to get away from him
shut the fuck up stupid ho

>>17976403
sorry for calling you a stupid ho I'm kind of drunk

but it is really pointless to be around someone you don't like and then complain that they are near you. take an ounce of responsibility for your circumstances and your life

>>17976403
>>17976421
What the hell are you even trying to say? It sounds like she's with someone she doesn't like and now that she's moving out he's making the situation worse by being a clingy bitch. She is taking responsibility by trying to leave.

>>17976372
From the sound of things I guess he just assumed you would always be there so neglected you and now that you're going to leave he's really poorly trying to fix things. All I can suggest is try to tell him that you need space or even say what you're writing here about how he's suddenly interested after ignoring you for a while.

>>17976345
Cock stretching exercises is the best way to grow your cock safely, about 1/2 an inch. It's easier to become a fucking Animagus, though.

The Japanese use to cut holes in their mattresses and sleep on their stomachs; they'd tie a small weight to their shaft and do it that way when they'd sleep.

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>8 feet or 7
>feet

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>>17976345
>8' dick
I can't imagine that needing to employ two labourers to help you aim every time you need a piss would be much fun tbqh

>>17976323

maybe. everyones an attention whore. you coulda just come to your own conclusion, but here you are, whining about it. not because you need our help but because you want validation.

and thats fine. we all want attention. girls tend to want it more and the easiest way to get it is to be hot and show it off.

>>17976323
Yes.

Enjoy herpes.

>>17976323
she may just want the attention or she may be an actual slut, but either way, she's immature as she is now and probably won't change while she's with you. If you don't mind a temporary not too serious thing, you can probably get some good mileage out of the relationship, but if you want something more long term, break it off now

>>17976293

sometimes when someones bleeding you need to clean the wound. this ends up causing a lot of pain as you disinfect it, but its whats healthiest.

the point of helping someone isn't to make sure they still like you after. its to help them

>>17976317
Well put
But part of the question is what CAN I do to help? As I've never had any problems with addiction myself, I have no idea how to act

>>17976329

its hard to say. your parents should try to come up with a plan but the thing about people who have been to rehab multiple times is that this is basically just their life now. he might spend the rest of his existence cycling through 'IMM ALL BETTER NOW' and 'NO WAIT I JUST WENT ON A THREE DAY BENDER'.

there is no right answer. everyones different and no one in your family can be blamed for making the choices that you make. even if they don't work, it doesn't mean they are wrong.

talk to your parents, and do the best you can do, but try not to let him become a detriment to your own life OP.