K I need some fucking help.
In short
>I'm kind of a loser and have never been in a relationship
>I was talking to a girl earlier and we were getting along well
>she asks for my number
>get a text later, just saying it's her (I didn't take her number down initially)
Here's the thing, I'm shit at responding to texts/messages. Anyone who knows me suffers this bullshit where I'll read a text, have no idea how to respond and just fucking forget about it until hours later, even the next day
>text back an hour later with some shitty joke about how it's lucky I got my own number right
>she responds shortly after, seems good
And now what? It's been four hours maybe (currently 1:20am here) and I haven't replied because I don't know what to say. I don't want her to think I don't care or that I'm blanking her but I'm so fucking bad at text conversation with little idea of how to start one either. What do?
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>>17979589
what do you want to talk about?
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>>17979686
I don't fucking know, there's some common ground but I don't really know her at all. I guess I should suggest we meet up at some point but the main problem is she texted me at half past ten or something and I haven't responded since then, if I just text her like normal won't that seem a little off?
Maybe I'm just overthinking this.
Also I just realised that I'm writing this like an internal monologue lel
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>>17979706
no, it may even be better that you're not texting consistently, as if you're doing something and not sitting by your phone waiting for her. just tell her you were busy if she asks.
ask her if she wants to get some lunch or go to a bar or something sometime.
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What are some good words to comfort and console someone with the classic what-could-have-been?
Pretty extreme situation - my 40 old friend, who's been a vaguely unhappy, but fiercely loyal, wife for 17, met her former boyfriend for the first time since she married. They found out they broke over misunderstandings and communication failures - a very film like story. That's beyond the point though: regardless of what happens next, what could I say to reconcile her with the obviously saddening fact that she might have wasted almost 2 decades of her life? I need advice on advice, so to speak.
I'm way younger than her, but for a bunch of reasons, we ended up best friends and I'm the only person she confided this clusterfuck to. She feels many different things but the one I want to address is saddeness over what could have been. I'll take good inspirational quotes/citations.
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>>17979527
After every storm there is a rainbow, anon! :-)
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Well, if you think she WASTED 2 decades of her life, you are not coming from a point to give her good advice.
I tell you, most people just need to be heard to feel better, and that's the first go-to strategy on situations like that.
The second go-to strategy is to make her focus on something else. The future, the present. And I'm not saying relationship-wise, all but that actually. Ask her about something else, work, ideas for new movements, parties, whatever she likes. Make her disconect from the sadness and that might give her the oportunity to look at it from another point of view (a happier point of view, hence from a happier moment of her days).
The third go-to strategy, if all else failed, is to let her know the improvements she made since it all ended, or while with the guy, in a second momento. That's why I said if you think she WASTED her years, you are not in the right mind-set for empathy and advice giving. You can think that, its ok. Its ok even to say that, but you gotta remember you do not own the truth, and wasting time is something pretty much impossible. We are ALWAYS learning stuff, ALWAYS getting more experience and improving, no matter we wish to or not.
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>>17979527
also read nietzsche faggot
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Lately I've gotten so anxious about everything to the point where I can hardly function. Does anyone have any tips on how to lower anxiety and depression when they get bad?
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>>17979506
draw breath for 4 seconds
hold it for 4 seconds
exhale for 4 seconds
learned it from my therapist and it's the quickest and easiest way to manage anxiety. sounds simple and stupid but it works.
anyways yeah i'm right there with you brother.
i'm thinking now that medication is the only real way out of this.
PS why doesn't the built in extension work on this board.
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>>17979602
I appreciate it, but honestly I'm not falling into the whole medication thing bc that'd just make it worse I think. But I'll try the breathing thing.
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>>17979611
>but honestly I'm not falling into the whole medication thing bc that'd just make it worse I think.
that's what i told my therapist a year ago
not i'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning.
i don't have any more options.
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How the fuck do i make an opening statement on tinder/yellow without being a cringy beta male?
I have about 10 matches and no idea what to do with them
Searching 'best tinder openers' results in really cringy pick up lines and shit
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>>17979500
Bumping
Aaaa
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There are many websites with tips about it.
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>>17979543
Like? Most of the stuff i find is really cringy and probably overused
Or is that just how flirting works?
Anonymous
Traits for a boyfriend. 2017-01-22 12:07:04 Post No.17979395
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Traits for a boyfriend. 2017-01-22 12:07:04 Post No.17979395
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I feel like I have nothing to offer a girl that would make her want to have a relationship with me. I am 22, im not that good looking, I only have a part time job, and I have no path in life. I feel like the only kinda girls i would attract are ugly losers like myself and it sucks. It sucks even more knowing that fact and not being able to change it. What can I do to improve myself and make myself someone worth being with. When I think about it the only things that I have that girls like are I can make them laugh and im a good listener, but that means jack shit, those are traits that any friend can have I dont know what traits I need to surpass a friend. What are traits girls look for in a boyfriend? I know everyone is different but there has to be some general kinda thing.
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Do you have your own house or car?
If not, get those.
You have a job, thats something I dont have. So theres that.
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>>17979403
I have a car but live with my mom, im only 22 with nothing to show from college so I cant get a house yet.
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>>17979395
Bump for some more opinions?
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Hello,
I have a problem. I am afraid of expressing myself in front of my boyfriend. I am considered to be a pretty feminist person among my friends, which is true, as I believe in equal rights / freedom of expression and so forth, but I am just afraid of his random bursts of anger. It makes me feel uneasy and false to my own ideas. My private life does not represent the things I believe in and things I encourage other women doing. Some could say I am a coward but I genuinly don't want to be hurt, because verbal abuse sometimes happens anyway.
This person is diagnosed borderline. I am a mess myself. But it starts to kill me to act like an obedient girl just for the sake of peace in our relationship.
Where is the healthy border?
I made a lot of mistakes in the past and I am being constantly reminded of them and no matter how much I changed and much differently I behave, I am constantly living in this feeling of guilt. I take full responsibility for my actions but how long you can pay / live in fear / restrain yourself. Where is the line?
Was anybody in the similar situation?
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Feminism is bullshit and stupid, the solution to your problem is to stop being a feminist
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>>17979388
>This person is diagnosed borderline. I am a mess myself
Stay together so you two don't find two different people ruin their lives
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Stupid dumb feminist
I texted a guy about 2 weeks ago based on /adv/ advice and it went very well and I thought maybe we'd start texting each other fairly regularly.
But he never texted again and seems much less interested in me now when we see each other in person. He's not as flirtatious and seems a bit colder towards me in general. We have not acknowledge the text conversation in person. We don't talk one on one in person ever.
We have lots in common, but I feel uncomfortable texting him again and I can't think of any smooth way to do so. I keep thinking of things I wish I would have said in the last text conversation (like hoping to pick the conversation back up again later or to feel free to text me whenever), but it would feel unnatural saying any of that stuff now, two weeks on.
Did I screw this up? Do I let it go? I'm kind of heartbroken over this.
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>>17979371
well it seems like he's the messed up one in this situation anon.
He's either painfully awkward shy or a pos.
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>>17979384
Yeah, I can't tell if he's irritated with me because I never texted again? I remember the first time I saw him post text, he seemed very happy to see me, but all subsequent times he has seemed irritable and ignores me, spends most of our group time together on his phone texting or playing games, doesn't laugh at my jokes as much, if at all, etc.
I'm very confused and hurt. I do kind of want to text and try to strike up a conversation again, but I'm not sure what to say, and if he doesn't want to talk to me, I don't want to compound the problem.
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I keep trying to theorize over why he's acting differently towards me:
I've come up with:
>the text maybe clued him into my feelings towards him, he doesn't feel the same and now wants to give me the cold shoulder to discourage me
>he likes me and the text made me think i liked him too, but because i played it cool he now feels let down and is trying to distance himself
(at this point, i think this is what i'm going to do myself, but i hope he's not doing that to me)
>he's not irritated with me, it's all in my head. nothing has changed as far as he knows.
Anonymous
How long can i pull this off? 2017-01-21 11:49:08 Post No.17979360
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How long can i pull this off? 2017-01-21 11:49:08 Post No.17979360
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How long can i pull this off?
Anonymous
2017-01-21 11:49:08
Post No. 17979360
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So i agreed to a sex for rent situation but he hasn't collected and everytime he tries i make a excuse, i'm a month in and barely feeding myself.
Suggestions?
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Maybe hold up your end of the bargain?
This is why you don't trust a pauper, if they were of good and honest stock they wouldn't be poor.
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>>17979360
That's one nasty deal, I suggest bailing
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>>17979360
Is this even legal? Also he could start blackmailing you or you could start blackmailing him. Also you're in this together, basically you would both have legal repercussions.
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How come you see so many average guys who have very cute girlfriends?
What's their secret?
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>>17979351
You got it wrong, they're not average.
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Average girls are p qt to heterosexuals, especially with makeup in the mix.
Also males only need to meet a baseline level of attractiveness for a mate anything more is only good for gravy and causing trouble
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Relationships are, on average, most happy for both people when the woman is more attractive than the man.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/18266540/
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ive felt as if me and my girlfriend are going to break up for a while even though we both have talked about it and we really dont want to though im changing my mind
shes being acting off recently to me, not like her useful self, but instead almost as if shes trying to copy her more popular friends
she has always been more of an extrovert, but recently she has been going to bars and clubs a lot and it has become primarily what she talks about (i have no interest in going out to places like that though im not boring)
today i found out she didnt go home with her friend who was supposed to be taking her home last night and instead stayed out longer with two guys that ive never met, getting a taxi home much much later
i confronted her about it and she said shes matured now and wants to have guy friends, though she makes a massive deal about me having any sort of female friends
i dont care about the female friends thing, though it really bothers me how she has recently got loads of guy friends and it bothers me about how she goes clubbing a lot, it embarrasses me telling people that whats shes like
is this worth breaking up over?
it kills me while i stay at home knowing shes out, drunk
tldr: girlfriend starting going out a lot more in groups with lots of guys, im overprotective and while i trust her, i dont want to get cheated on and i hate her having lots of guy friends
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Your options are
>trust her
>go out with her (and NOT sulk in the corner the whole time)
>break up with her
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>>17979343
i do trust her, i just dont want her living that lifestyle and having a bunch of guy friends
i should have specified that most of the guys are beta orbiters
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>>17979338
So how many times a week does she do this and have you been taking her out in the time she has started doing this?
Anonymous
"Soundproof" apartments 2017-01-21 11:24:20 Post No.17979303
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"Soundproof" apartments 2017-01-21 11:24:20 Post No.17979303
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Is there such a thing as a "Soundproof" apartment? Last 3 apartments I've rented have always ended up having scummy people in them blasting their crappy bass filled music.
Can I expect proper "sound proofing" with a "luxury" apartment? Is it even possible? Looking at trying to rent a house at the moment until I've got the down payment for a mortgage. For the same price as renting a house though I'm seeing all these "Luxury" apartments that are almost twice the size and much more modern.
It's gotten to the point where I go to work on weekends to get away from my apartment. Can't even relax when I'm supposed to be off work.
Worth noting, luxury apartments around here are closer to mid range than actual luxury. Main question is, if when they advertise that it's sound proof, can i actually expect it to be?
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I avoid loud neighbors AND rent by living with my parents!
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>>17979311
I'm mad jealous. I live in a nicer place than my parents though already.
>life choices
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>>17979303
>f when they advertise that it's sound proof, can i actually expect it to be?
No.
What you get with more expensive places is less geatto neighbors. Also did they screen you at all? Nice places try to screen out riffraff. If they let anyone in, bad sign. Also means they won't kick anyone out for being assholes. You want a professionally managed place
Anonymous
not depressed just sad 2017-01-21 11:20:54 Post No.17979296
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not depressed just sad 2017-01-21 11:20:54 Post No.17979296
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yo im real fuckin sad i have been for the past week
im being drowned by school work
and most of my friends are going through it like its a cake walk
i feel retarded
when i mention my gpa which im totally satisfied with i get the puzzled is that supposed to be good or bad? face and question
i feel like a mentally handicapped child.
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>>17979296
also i dont have many friends only 2 or 3
and im not the worst in the class by far.
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no one cares, go cry on your tumblr
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>>17979392
thanks senpai
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I'm tired of everyone picking on me for my background and skin colour. It's been going on since childhood (raised in 98% white town). I didn't let it get to me at first, but all these years of insults and hateful comments are starting to take their toll.
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>>17979282
This is a new America & you're not wanted anymore. Leave like Obama did, with his tail between his legs.
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>>17979292
My family has been in America for generations, more than many white Americans.
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>>17979282
How are you picked on OP?
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Every time someone calls me stupid, very flawed, or otherwise pathetic I feel like jumping off a roof. I dont understand, how do you people have the confidence to live With these Insults?
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By disregarding blatant insults.
If it's not Bants it's a direct insult. Otherwise lighten up.
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>>17979285
It's hard for me because even if I do insult bavk, they sometimes won't back down. I feel powerless. It makes me internalize the flaws thry pointed out in me even further. It makes me feel like a broken person
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>>17979273
Whatever they say isn't true so you have nothing to worry about.
Anonymous
Concerta for studying 2017-01-21 10:58:46 Post No.17979243
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Concerta for studying 2017-01-21 10:58:46 Post No.17979243
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I have acces to a 36mg concerta pills and 54mg.
Is concerta usefull to study? (i hear people talking about ritalin all the fucking time)
Experience with it?
Howmuch do i need and how to take it (right after waking up etc)
Any shit that can fuck me up? Like getting really tired because of first use etc
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How about you concentrate without drugs you fuxking millenial scum.
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>>17979289
>millenial
theres your problem
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anyone else