Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 270. page

>>18675049
short answer: slowly.glacial.
The way to charm boys is to imagine that they're dim, yet charming puppies. You never let them know that they're not the brightest pixel on the 4k display, because who tells puppies that they're dumb?
Be his friend for a while and you will naturally get closer. Once you're close enough and an opportunity presents itself, take it. Remember: you're adopting a puppy, not hunting an antelope; patience is the name of the game.

>>18675058
as a boy I would find this endearing if didn't realize the strategy and simultaneously endearing and degrading if I did

my 2c

>>18675065
Why thank you.

I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression some years ago, 2012 or something. Was 17 at that time. Received a prescription for Lexapro. After contemplating on it I opted not to fill it and smoked weed instead. At 22 now and what most people would call successful except in the women department. Well paying job and will be graduating soon. That said the delression is still around, albeit not as severe as it was back then. Still struggle to find meaning in life. I still smoke weed once a day before bed. So it's possible to do without.

Some anons will tell you that it takes out your soul and replaced it with drugged complacency. Some will tell you it turned their life around. I personally have a friend who was suicidally depressed, went on an SSRI and reported overall improvement in quality of life. The medical consensus is generally that it's a net positive when the depression is severe. At six years, why don't you give it a shot and see if it works for you? You can always stop if you dislike it.

I've been on Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Ability and Adderall for the past 3 years and and it's helped tremendously with my depression, social anxiety, motivation to do things and overall well-being. I don't have as nearly as many social thoughts and I find that it's much easier for me to enjoy things. This combo of drugs has proven to be effective for me but it took a few months to get it right.

That being said if I go two days without Zoloft I get incredibly sick, headache, vomiting, I feel awful. Without Abilify I can feel myself getting more and more irritable. I basically rely on these drugs but know if I ever wanted to get off them it would be a process. The reason I'm on this combo is because I have borderline personality disorder, if you were wondering.

Considering that I love meds, but combined with regular therapy sessions. I highly, HIGHLY recommend Dialectal Behavior Therapy. It's a whole lot better than CBT in my opinion. It's a therapy where you learn the skills to cope with emotions, deal with intense pain and form effective relationships. I've benefited more from a year of DBT than I did from multiple years of CBT (the typical therapy everyone gets).

Good luck and hope all goes well.

>>18675056
Yeah, I think so to.

It's just hard to me concede and say to myself that I can't do it on my own and need some outside help. Also my mother being so anti-medicine must have rubbed-off on me.

>>18675079
Thanks for the suggestion, I have never heard about that therapy, and it seems really fittng to my case. From what I have heard though, it's advised against taking drugs during therapy. Was it mentioned by your Psychiatrist as a problem?

Also with this many different kinds of durgs, what are some things that you are not allowed to intake, other than I guess alcohol?

There's nothing stacked against you but your own thoughts

>>18674915
Of course it's realistic.
Go ahead and do it.
You'll face a lot of self doubt. You must learn to work through it.

>>18674915
College isn't just for 18 year olds any more.

I guarantee that any university you choose will have at least 25-30% undergrads your age or older.

Why don't you set up the therapy yourself?

>>18674943
I don't know how. My healthcare is still under my Mom's

>>18674826
Nobody can stop you from going and getting a full time job. You sound like you lack direction. Having to bust your ass 40+ hours a week will teach you a lot about yourself. I hate sitting down and learning. I think with my hands so I work with my hands.

Here's the break anyway, the future of the workforce is in certifications amd trades. Learn to weld or something. Be a mechanic. Get an IT cert in something. You lack passion and motivation because you know that this ignorant path your parents have set for you isn't the way forward.

>Did you go to Mexico?
>And why didn't you come to Peru?
>Hahaha you should come to Peru
>Hahahaha I wish I could go someday
>Yes, I'd like to visit Europe
>Snow never
>mmm How is your spanish going?
>Code
>Better you agregate me
>It's better that way
>What, they abandoned you too?
>Hahahah it is already old (the subject on this sentence might not be it, but I can't figure with what you sent)
>Hahaha I remember I met you when I was 16yo
>Hahahha dirty
>I've investigated what that means already
dirty (joni)
>Yes, of course it means that, I know what it means.
>You are no longer the innocent anon I met.
>Hahaha what are you doing now?
>I didn't understand what you said.
>You have it in account. (again, might not be You)
>Hahaha I'm leaving now, knowing how much you, sir, have grown.
>What about you, when are you coming to Peru?
>Ah, anon, I feel bad.
>I drank too much.
>That I wrote drank. (I'm not sure about ths one)
>I've just arrived at my house.

https://translate.google.com/?hl=en#en/sp

What the fuck. That wasn't even coherent.

I switch to computer science last year on my 4th/last year of geology. lost some of my friends but hoping to get new ones. lots of people change their major after first year so you are not alone. Its better to do it now than be like me.
trust me life is not a race to the finish. you need to go on your own pace

>>18674800
Computer Science is becoming a tool in a lot of fields. Use your hobby as a free leg up, if you are neuro then you can intergrate CS into your field of study. AI, brain simulations and whatnot is up and coming if not already here

File: 1492872655475.jpg (2MB, 1920x3272px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x3272px

>>18674899
>if you are neuro then you can intergrate CS into your field of study.

I was looking into that, My university does have a computational biology research department but they do not teach it. It's either Neuroscience or CS. I should mention I'm Scottish so I'm not sure what Jobs for CS are like.

>>18674891
Life isn't a race but at the same time I've already dedicated a years worth of studying and my parents might disapprove of this sudden change.

>>18674791
Your 20s is when you learn how to be a functioning adult. You are going to fuck up; especially in relationships. However what you learn during this time will help you define what you want in a relationship and how to make one work later on.
Also your studying should be more important than relationships at this point.

human relations are not business, you are allowed to listen to your heart at that age, it gets worse as responsibilities pile on you later

I have personally found a meaningful relationship to be much more gratifying in terms of the companionship, stability and maturity it brings to you individually. I take it the prime of your life alludes to the pre-regret that you could have fucked more women. Quality over quantity my friend, you're not gonna care about how much pussy you used to have after you had it and it's gone.

>connections
>bribe
>payed doctors to declare unfit for service
>really unfit for service

where did they return, whats their background
just because a country is at war, with itself doesnt mean every able bodied guy will do service

>>18674771
They returned to Germany after their family vacations. They both are fit for service as seen with the eye.
I don't actually know much about their background. One of the two has a high-ranked general as an uncle.

>>18674773
fuck off back to/pol/.

>>18674692
Are you sure it's the toilet itself and not something around it? I don't think a stuck smelly condom would be able to be smelt past the toilet water. Try and flush it and see if the smell becomes worse at the same time. If the smell doesn't become worse, I think there might be another source of your smell.

>>18674692
No. Cant be a condom if it was months ago.
Do you use chemicals like bleach to clean the toilet?
Have you checked the cistern for any kind of build-up?
Have you checked underneath the toiler to see if it's leaking?

>>18674713
If its not the condom i dont care what it is, gonna call the plumber to check it, would be embarrassing to see him with the condom...thanks

>>18674680
$0

Bride's father is supposed to pay for the wedding, including the dress.

>>18674687
Exactly. This is why there is no set price on what the guy should spend on the dress. That is the woman and her family decides for themselves. You can if you like, I suppose, but you are asking as if it is a tradition, which it is not.

>>18674680
The ring rule was set by De Beers' advertising campaign, since he IS Mr. Diamond. Don't buy into that shit.
He guilt tripped men by saying "Isn't she worth at least three months?"

As for the dress, it traditionally falls on her family. Primarily her father. Then her mother. Then her. Never the groom.

>>18674636
If you are getting them to make out with each other it is basically cheating to most women

>>18674636
Its on;y "not cheating" if you tell your SO and they are cool with it. Its literally the only definition that matters.

How do you think your girlfriend would react if you told her, in detail, all the stuff you've been up to when she isn't around?

>>18674636
So, what anime is that ?

>>18674616
Hey :)

This feels like a window into the past for me. I got on 4chan at age 11 and was painfully socially anxious all through high school. You can train yourself to really enjoy it, and to get good at it. The key is to just repeatedly put yourself out there. You have to go out and try. After a few months of doing that, I became the person that my friends looked to for guidance. I'm now extremely extroverted and always the dominant one/director in social situations. This is a really good book for people with this problem.

https://islamiconlineuniversity.com/counseling/resources/David%20Burns%20-%20Feeling%20Good.pdf

and so is this

https://www.amazon.com/Emprint-Method-Guide-Reproducing-Competence/dp/0932573029

>>18674616
You're an introvert. Learn what that means and how to deal.
Join small clubs with shared interests or join community projects where you wont be the centre of attention.
The best way to deal with people is to surround yourself with them.

another problem in my town is that there is a lauguage barrier.
most of the people speak hungarian and I can't speak it at all. So my options are few

If she doesn't want to go, what's the harm in letting her do her own thing during that time? You don't need to spend every waking moment with her.

>>18674606
That is a very naive point of view

>>18674603
So you can go somewhere on your own but she can't go somewhere on her own? What?

>>18674504
Hey, you're back! We missed you!

To newcomers: This guy posted the same query every single day for a month, got good responses, ignored them, and just posted again the next day. He's been on vacation, I guess, for a couple of weeks, but it looks like he's back.

Don't bother replying. He will ignore anything you say and just be back again tomorrow.

>>18674638
Is it some sort of autism?

Its your diaphragm you retard

>>18674490
It happened to me a few times. Why do you find it awkward?
Just tell them "No, I was born in X and raised in Y."
No need to create any sort of awkwardness.

>>18674502

>Why do you find it awkward?

>"Ha ha! So what part of the US are you from?"
>"Ah, heh, I'm not actually from the US -- I just learned English from Americans, and the accent stuck"
>"But you lived there, right?"
>"No, I've only lived here"
>*Slightly puzzled look as they compute possibilities* "Huh. O..K."
>After this, whenever personal histories are alluded to, the above incongruency is highlighted again

The underlying subcommincation is that I had no friends or social links to absorb accent from, and have artificially adopted the accent of a dominant country to appear cool (the first is actually pretty true, hah).
Especially when it comes to girls, this sort of idea is pretty weird, as they are quite tuned to social concepts and their implications. I lose face.

This isn't some mental exercise of what *could* happen, it's a generalization of what's happened many times. I've gotten pretty good at brushing the concept off, but it only goes so far.

>>18674574
It happened to me many times as well and it was never especially awkward for me, this is why I'm saying that I can't relate at all to your "I lose face"

Usually it goes like
>"Are you from the US?"
>"No, I actually was born and raised here"
>"Oh. And how did you get the accent?"
>"I actually have no clue, it was always very natural for me since I learnt english"
Then we move on to some other topic. All comments I ever got were very positive and I never felt awkward because of it.

Probably you feel awkward about it and you make it awkward.