Anonymous
Dealing with losing someone 2017-01-31 01:40:41 Post No.18009029
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Dealing with losing someone 2017-01-31 01:40:41 Post No.18009029
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Dealing with losing someone
Anonymous
2017-01-31 01:40:41
Post No. 18009029
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Yo /adv/ I've been lacking motivation to do anything really at the moment and my sleep cycle's ruined. My best (and only true) friend killed himself 4 weeks ago today and needless to say I haven't been handling it very well. I feel absolutely lost without this dude to talk to and life's starting to pile the pressure of the real world onto me now that I need to find a real job and start supporting myself. My friend lived in another country so I've avoided even telling anybody that he's dead now. I don't even know what kind of advice i'm expecting to get I just don't want to feel so shit, when does everything start to get a bit better lads? Will I ever make another friend I can actually say that I love? Since I don't have any close friends and I'm distant from my family I don't have anyone who'd wanna talk about something like with me, should I get help from a therapist?
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>>18009029
Sorry to hear about that.
>when does everything start to get a bit better lads?
Bit by bit, as you experience new positive things. Take the time to grieve at your own pace.
>Will I ever make another friend I can actually say that I love?
It's certainly possible. But each relationship is unique so the key is to stay open to new ones and don't expect them to be the exact same thing. You managed to love someone once, you can do it again.
>should I get help from a therapist?
Yes. Even without that event, you sound like you could use some professional perspective on your situation. We all need help sometimes.
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>>18009029
I've found my girlfriend's corpse after she killed herself. It was really traumatizing, obviously. Not only did I have to deal with losing her, I couldn't help but think it was my fault...and having to see that was too fucked up for words.
After about 6 years I felt like I was coming out of the fog. I didn't miss her as much, and I didn't have to think about it as much. The depression lifted mostly, and I had interests again. 7 years after, I can see its irreversibly changed me, and not for the better. My heart, though it was cut deep and festered for years, eventually healed. Yours will too. You have to give it time. You'll survive this.
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>>18009039
Appreciate it man, might schedule something with a therapist. How should I go about telling family that I wanna go to a therapist though? Whenever I've thought about it, it never seems like there's a right time/way to tell them.
>>18009045
It's so shit that people have to deal with all this, nobody deserves anything like this to happen but I'm really glad to hear you're doing well again dude
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Hey /adv/,
about three monthes ago I lost my sex drive. It started with an illness that lasted a little over two weeks, during which it was understandable that I didn't have any particular desire, but even after returning to health the idea of fucking just seems like more of a hassle than the fun times I've had with my partners for a long time.
To clarify, I'm a bottom with a few FWBs who all know of each other. I can fap just fine and I still enjoy cuddling, but my desire for getting penetrated has died.
How do I restore my libido?
Should I watch more porn and stop masturbating, let the 'pressure' build up?
Or maybe I was too desensitized, should I stop watching porn to lower my tolerance?
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>>18009006
Try being a top.
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>>18009022
While I lost the desire to bottom recently, I never wanted to top in the first place, so, nah.
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Stop masturbating with toys if that's a thing.
Take Fenugreek. Eat dark chocolate.
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straight to the point shes 16 in 21.its legal where i am but weve obviously kept it hidden. do we wait a few years or just be transparent? our friends know but her parents dont, i live alone and not with mine.
i dont feel like its an issue between us, only with other people
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It's really not too off, you're still in that college age anyways.
Plenty of girls I knew in High School were dating guys in their 20's, who were most likely pounding the life out of their young pussies.
I say go for it.
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>>18008841
hey man, same here, ive been with my girlfriend for 6 months now, shes also 16 and i'm 21, at the start it was pretty descrete, but we later revealed it to her parents and they love me, i would sy the age gap isnt much of an issue.
how long have you been together?
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>>18008868
go for telling her parents or waiting? i know its not too different and my parents are 50 and 56 its just because were both young
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I am 22 female.
Somewhat attractive, somewhat intelligent, but most of the time very emotionally unstable.
I feel I have never been accepted totally by anyone my entire life ( I do have proof of that ,so it's not just whining).
My point ls..how do i get the fuck over the fact that no human has/is/will ever love me?
my bf is making me feel like such a needy attention whore and after being told the same thing for over a year, I am really starting to believe it as well.
Tl; dr: needy bitch, wat do?
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Same feels here, almost to a T. Except I'm 23 and my bf tolerates my behavior without actually satisfying it.
ANYWAY
You can find someone who will. I once had a friend who did. She understood my needs and toxic shit because she was the same way. It was by no means a healthy friendship but I can honestly say the end of it was the only time I've felt heartbroken, and she literally haunts my dreams. I suppose that's not really comforting, but know there are people like you out there.
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>>18008805
Stop being a needy bitch.
Sometimes you are actually being stupid and need to be more aware of that.
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>>18008808
Op here
I can really relate with the " my bf tolerates my behavior without really satisfying it" part. Are you codependent?
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Meeting my ex-girlfriend for drinks this weekend after not seeing her for about a year. I didn't tell my current girlfriend to avoid upsetting her.
What should I expect?
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>>18008797
>What should I expect?
Your current girlfriend finding out about the situation and expecting the worst.
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>>18008797
>What should I expect?
Accomplishing nothing but risking your current relationship for the sake of revisiting a failed one.
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>>18008797
>I didn't tell my current girlfriend
this is the bigger problem
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So a couple months ago my gf of 2 years left me for another dude, hey thats cool, fine, good luck to her.
but heres the deal, I sacrificed pretty much everything to be with her, got rid of my friends, stopped working on myself, and started staying home all the time.
>lost all friends
>got a little heavy
>cut off all other love interests
>got suspended from uni for spending time with her instead of going to class
And i've come to realize, i didn't have a life anymore, so how do i start socializing again? where do i go? how do i meet people if i cant attend classes and things like that?
I've lost 30 pounds of the weight i gained so far (went from 170 to 240) so people have started to show more interest in talking to me, but i was legend status before the relationship and now im washed up and need advice how to find my way back.
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Get lookin good and go get some new tail. That always helps to boost ego and give you a little drive to want to be social. I know sex shouldnt be the answer, but honestly sometimes we just need to feed our inner animal. lol
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>>18008692
hey i appreciate the advice man!
I've fucked a few girls off tinder since then, but they haven't led to me meeting any knew people, so i guess i'll keep trying, the looking good part is probably more important anyway
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the better you think you look the higher your confidence will be, the more likely you will be to want to be social. kinda show off in your own sort of way. even if incognito.
Anonymous
Beta male needs advice on crush like a teenage boy 2017-01-31 09:06:25 Post No.18008661
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Beta male needs advice on crush like a teenage boy 2017-01-31 09:06:25 Post No.18008661
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Beta male needs advice on crush like a teenage boy
Anonymous
2017-01-31 09:06:25
Post No. 18008661
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What's poppin' /adv/ never really ventured out past /b/ and /pol/ But I need some help.
So basically this chick I've been crushing on for a while now has always had this kind of 'anti-guy' thing(Just like she doesn't think about relationships or hooking up,) and recently she hooked up with this guy at a party and told a mutual friend that she would probably get with me now(Apparently she was scared of people taking photos or some shit); Only problem is, is that apparently she thinks this other guy is quote on quote 'lit' so idk what to do. There's a party coming up soon and I don't know if I should try to make a move or what.
I'm not a total beta so I've gotten with chicks before but always when we're both drunk and this is a dry party.
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The fuck does "lit" mean?
The fuck is a "dry party" and if it means nobody drinks/takes drugs then what's the fucking point?
Am I getting old?
Also you have to be 18+ to post here, kiddo.
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>I go to le pol and b
No
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>>18008661
>quote on quote
It's quote unquote...
I've just had my confidence and soul crushed completely. How does a guy become more attractive if the facial structure is the key problem? I.e, in good shape, eating well, skin is good condition, etc.
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Would you mind saying what crushed you? Is it in relation to your upset towards personal bone structure?
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>>18008635
>be fatass
>go to /soc/ to learn what to fix
>spend a year or so fixing myself completely, feel good
>go back to /soc/
>rating dropped to a 5.5 average
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>>18008642
>/soc/
I do hope you know you deserve this
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Hey /adv/
Basically, in Australia you have this thing called an ATAR which is a bit like a GPA. I got below 50, and I'm pretty much fucked in life.
For the past few months I've been trying to apply to all the universities in my area, but none will accept me.
Should I just kill myself? I don't want to become a blue collar worker, but even if I wanted to I couldn't even life a single brick if I tried.
Any advice ausfags in a similar situation?
Pic unrelated
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>>18008603
Nah don't kys famalam, ATAR sucks balls - which course of study are you planning on taking?
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What universities are in your area, man? I've been in a similar boat, and might be able to help you out.
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>>18008614
Fucking deakin and swinburne
Even they won't accept me
We had an exchange student from Chile stay with us for two weeks and I'm almost certain she stole money from us.
>my dad's money was moved around on his counter top in the bathroom
>my sister is missing a twenty from her room (though she could have misplaced it)
>my wallet is missing and I lost it the day the exchange student left
>one of our employees at our business caught her going through her purse. Her excuse? "In my country it is customary to put things back into bags when they fall over"
The only way of contacting her I have is possibly my sister could email her. She is now back in Chile.
What do
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>>18008569
Even if she did steal it, what are you going to do about it now?
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I'm new here. Is this not a place to ask for advice on things? If it is then, I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
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>>18008569
>What do
Unless you want to go to Chile the answer is nothing.
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How do you help someone get over a messed-up family/childhood?
My boyfriend can't handle being touched. At all. He'll flinch away if my fingers accidentally touch his fingers, so there's not exactly hugging or kissing. He's okay with holding hands if we're both wearing clothes, and sleeping in the same bed if there's a blanket between us. So definitely no sex, either.
It's infinitely frustrating for both of us, though he's baffled by the suggestion of getting psychiatric help, as he's not mentally ill.
It'd be an understatement to say that his family is religious. Like, he's literally got like 13 siblings because contraceptives are a sin. I sometimes ask if he actually believes most of the stuff they taught him at home, and he says he can't answer that since he doesn't know which parts of his upbringing were the weird ones and what is normal. But he firmly believes that his family (that he's still really attached to) will literally just disown him and completely cut him off if they know he's not living in living faith, whatever that means.
I just want him to be happy but I have no idea how.
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*gloves. He's able to hold hands with me outside in the winter, with the gloves between us.
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how the fuck do people get into relationships when it's like this
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>>18008459
University.
He's an honestly good and kind guy, otherwise.
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I always sucked at texting and shit, but I made a tinder anyway.
Got a few matches and texted all of them the same copy-pasted "hey you're cute, let's meet sometime" and all of them replied with "OK". Just a simple ok, nothing else.
How do I go on from that?
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Ask them what kind of food they like, what they like to do for fun etc. If you fail to plan you plan to fail.
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>>18008443
I have no issue talking face to face, but I don't know texting flow. My plan is to keep that shit minimal and like
Hey ur cute, let's meet
OK
Cool, how about X and Y?
Ok sounds good
And do all the actual talk face to face. How's that sound?
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Tinder chat is supposed to be shitposting but like died down from 4chan levels and made flirty in nature
Just open with reall dumb jokes not lame ass shit like that.
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>in b4 just give up
Alright you manlets I need some advice. So a couple of months ago I asked a girl for her #. She gave it to me and we txted for like a day. After that she responded to another message on a different day, but ignored my other message. Haven't bother contacting her since. I know shes likely not interested, but i really wanna get at this bish. What do?
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>a couple of months ago
>Haven't bother contacting her since
You better have a pretty good excuse for this
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>>18008404
She started to ignore my texts so i just lost interest. But it was mainly due to me being a beta bitch. I told myself I gotta stop being a beta, so I'm trying to rekindle the little chance that i had.
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>>18008409
Like I said, you better have a good excuse for ignoring her for months. Would you want to get back in touch with someone who just dropped you like that?
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Is it a bad idea to pluck hairs off of my dick and balls?
I don't have access to waxing.
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yeah its a bad idea
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Shave it nigger. Just use a disposable razor.
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>>18008343
Explain.
Hey /adv/,
What are your thoughts on keeping pictures of your ex on Facebook/social media? I'm not talking tons of pictures, but keeping a few here and there. After a year long relationship we were very much in love and although it has been months after breaking up I still have some photos that can be viewed.
If I want to meet some new girls does having these photos up act as a detriment if they creep my Facebook past? Should I just purge all the pictures?
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>>18008304
We'll that depends, do you want them there? And also did it end on bad terms? I was in a relationship for 2 years and it ended horribly. I took almost every photo down except the ones that really meant something to me. I asked my new partner how he felt about the photos when he met me and browsed my Facebook, and being a reasonable person he just said well they werent an excessive amounts and at our age we've dated quite a few people before so it's not a big deal.
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I leave them. Might not work for everyone though, I'm just the type of person who would do something entirely on the principle of the thing even if it's actually killing me inside.
As far as I'm concerned if you take all those pictures down you're losing the break up.
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>>18008304
I leave them. If some chick is super mad about some girl I dated a while back, then she's not the girl for me. I either dumped the girl, or put the shit behind me.
I'm still friends with a majority of my exes.