Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2524. page

Smoke weed

>>18047839
Seek a therapist. You need to find motivation for your life. Get a life coach or a therapist that will provide life coaching too. Start small and do something like plan your day and follow through. Like making your bed, eating three meals and snack in between and cleaning out the garage, you get the picture. If you accomplish at least one thing, you will have succeeded. If you didn't, don't punish yourself, just try again tomorrow-but actually try. You should volunteer with either an old folks home-they'll wish for your youth and you can learn from them what life has taught them and how they made it through. You can also volunteer with homeless, socializing animals at the local shelter, etc. Basically help others to get out of your zone. Also try to get some energy boosting foods like a turmeric and ginger drink in the morning. You need to walk outside for a bit each day and get fresh air and vitamin d. Good luck anon!

>>18048219
do you really think that will help?

i haven't smoked since high school I'm a college jr now

Yeah sounds like childish shit
Best way to win arguments and her respect is don't back down when you know you're right, don't react to childish games and carry on as always.

Do back down and apologize if you're in the wrong though.

2/2
So I thought she overreacted. I asked her if she had anything to say back to me and she said NOPE. I said you don't think you over reacted a little? and she said NOPE.

here's where I'm not sure I messed up: I said "hmmm.. okay" and narrowed my eyes and shook my head... i didnt want to escalate a fight in the middle of our vacation but I also felt she really did overreact. she kissed me again and we lay down next to each other. for some reason I got really horny and reached down and she was really wet already. amazing sex followed.

What would have been the right move?

been dating a year, and like I said first "fight". these are the kind of things that need to be nipped in the bud early and Im pretty sure she lost a lot of respect for me for aving but I didnt want to ruin my vacaton. shit was expensive!

>>18047824
Arguments in a relationship are usually healthy. Every couple argues, some more than others. Fight fairly and don't build resentment. Indifference is something to worry about.

>>18047780

wiht the exception of what oyu need to do for your health, you've been given a pass to do whatever the fuck you want. so while this does suck, maybe take those thigns you thought was 'shitty enough' and throw em out and enjoy what you can.

wish i coudl hug ya bro, its been a rough week.

>>18047780
My mom was a nephrologist for 40 years. She had a lot of patients who were really quite sick from a kidney standpoint, but lived pretty much normal lives aside from needing to go in for dialysis twice a week. I know that sucks but maybe you can use that time to do something that makes your life better like study a language or read better books or something; it's kind of like doing your homework while you're waiting for your laundry to finish in the laundromat yknow? Forced change sucks but it can bring about good results too. Or maybe you're not even bad enough that you have to do dialysis, which is huge!

Also it's worth noting that end stage sounds really scary, like you're dying or something, but it's just a catch all term for a certain level of kidney disease.

A lot of people have been in your shoes and lived full lives. I mean shit even Osama Bin Laden was able to blow up the twin towers and wage war with the US with completely failed kidneys so like you can do anything.

Plus, medicine gets better and better every year, especially with common ailments like kidney disease. 2020 is right around the corner and there are a lot of new therapies for a lot of bad diseases that are scheduled to be available by then, and even now they're better at it then they were 10 years ago. And hey, at least it's not 50 years ago where your doctor would be asking you if you want a priest or a rabbi for your funeral right now.


But I feel you, it really sucks when your body betrays you. All I can say is that if you're still breathing it's never as bad as you think it is when you first get the news.

>>18047816
I don't even have an illness and I felt encouraged reading this. Good post anon

>>18047773
Ask her if she likes anal. Girls love to ne asked if they like anal.

>>18047773

>with a girl

don't be so quick to label

Be your fucking self

>>18047758
Why don't you simply call him explain and let him know what is actually going on in there

>>18047794
I do tell. He knows what's going on. But what can he do other than tell me that he loves me and supports me? It doesn't help. And he can't just talk to me all day and tell me over and over again. I tell myself over and over again that he loves me, because he assures me of this, and yet I am still like this.
There is only so much needless insecurity that someone can deal with.

You need to look inside of yourself and ask yourself if you believe you're worth something, anything. If you find that you're not, you're wrong. You are worth more than you can ever know. You're priceless. But listening to your bf tell you that or anyone else isn't going to mean shit. You need to learn it and believe if for yourself.

Everyone laughed at me when I said I was only in the old guy's seat temporarily - even people from other companies I was only seeing one time ever.

Then the company cashed in its golden parachutes, about 10 years ago. Last major employer in the area and the last time I worked regular. First in an unbroken streak of jobs ending in bounced paychecks.

>>18047695
that's not really answering my question

>>18047688
Pretty much immediately.

(feel free to skip this)
My mom was usually pretty passive aggressive with me during my upbringing. While she tried her best to stay neutral towards me...my personality is similar to my dad's side of the family. I felt like a constant reminder. He's pretty naturally charming, and I am too. However, I didn't receive any of the negative personality issues (like being a rapist). I inherited her morality and good intentions, but I'm sure it was hard for her regardless. She constantly complained about how my father gave her sciatica nerve damage as a result of the rape, but that it 'wasn't your fault sweetie...'

Anyway, she became a lot more emotionally abusive after I really developed a strong personality. This was around the same age as most kids, ~14 onwards. She constantly threatened to kick me out at 18. She eventually ended up doing so. I was homeless and didn't graduate high school because of her.

RELEVANT

It's really important that I get along with my father. While he did do some things wrong, I think my mother hates me and I don't have her as an option anymore. He's actually trying to be a good dad to me. I feel like a shitty daughter because I don't like going mudding, dirt biking, working on trucks...I just have vastly different interests....

>>18047647
Shit dude usually people ask for advice on how to cut ties with people like... either of your parents really. Especially when personality disorders are involved. Fucked up parents can ruin your life.

I think you can spend time with him and maybe it'll be a good thing but you need to be sure you're competent at setting boundaries. What're you gonna do when he asks you for money or a "loan"? Are you going to be able to say no if he gets evicted and asks to move in with you or something? I think these are really big considerations from an immediate self-preservation standpoint.

How're things going right now? What do you do when you hang out?

>>18047664
Oh also narcissists make shit up ALL THE TIME so I don't mean to be horribly insensitive but have you considered the possibility that he didn't actually rape your mother? Just mentioning that because narcissist parents will do that kind of thing to cut the other parent out and if it's the central rift in your relationship maybe it's worth examining.

because you have the wrong outlook on life

Because idiots like you think life owns you something

Because you're playing it too easy, get hard or perish to obscurity.

File: BhZp1Y1.png (656KB, 798x658px) Image search: [Google]

656KB, 798x658px

>continued:

Socially Im not an idiot. Im super friendly to people and I have a bunch of friends at college. People usually strike up a conversation with me. I'm literally friendly to anyone who is friendly to me and do not have a problem talking to people. I say this knowing that for some people this can be an issue. Im not saying Im some extrovert going around talking to everyone, I'm not and I'm an introvert.

IF anyone can help, please. Im being 100% honest here because I really want some help.

you are forgetting something that is staring at you in the face:
>ugly guys still get laid.
its how you project youself to others.

stop giving a shit, have you heard the saying treat em mean keep em keen? it actually works. the less you say the more they want to know about you...
so you say: so tell me about yourself and pretend like you are actually listening and just go uhh huh. becase thats all they really want the thrill of the chase if their is no chase they move on. dont matter about race just cos the colur of the hole changes doesnt mean a girl dont want some mystery

>>18047559
Alright, but girls never speak to me. Like no girl ever has just started talking to me. The last girl that sat down next to me to talk to me was pre-med and wanted help with a math problem and I have no idea how she knew I knew the answer. She honestly want help though, girl was crazy about academics.

Also I don't have high standards at all. Just don't be too fat, is my only standard.

Mr. Nobody?

Enter the void is good. I sound identical to the guy too.

Fantastic Planet or Holy Mountain are classics for stoned people in sci-fi.

>>18047538
>3 month relationship
>I considered her my soul mate
>she's already sleeping with some dude.

>How should I feel about this?
Like you dodged a fucking bullet.

Thank god it wasn't 6 years down the line.

it's a lesson that we all have to learn. next time, don't get attached.

>>18047526
Your fish might be bored. Try getting some different fish accessories for the bowl. They get suicidal when they are bored.

Often Bettas jump simply because they can but it may also be a sign that your water quality isn’t what it needs to be. If you have a jumper follow up with the usual water tests. Check your ammonia, nitrite, nitrate and pH. Rather then jumping some bettas will hoist themselves on top of a leaf or other floating decoration. If you notice this behavior double check your water parameters to rule out poor water quality as the culprit. Often the reason is benign but it’s best to know for certain if your Betta is trying to tell you something.

Imagine someone stuck you in a dixie cup full of air, then stuck that cup at the bottom of the ocean. How happy would you be?

>dude expects an exotic fighting fish to live in a goldfish bowl

Find a salon, preferably one that accepts walk-ins so you don't have to make an appointment.
Be honest about what happened, ask them to cover your mistake.

How bad did you fuck up, anyway?

>>18047468
>this is the second time i've done this.

What went so well the first time that you felt compelled to try and fail again?

At a fucking barbershop.

So you're improving your mentality, but I think you're not putting it into practical use. Find some hobbies as a conversation starters, and go to meet ups/events and just meet people there. You can only learn through practical experience. If it helps, talk to them like you would a guy, girls like down to earth men and feel more comfortable around them, which could rise to romantic interests

>>18047464
When you obsess over sex/relationships people can sense it. Just relax, and let the universe bring love to you. And when it does, be honest with them. That has been my experience. Yes, much easier said than done.

>average, not attractive ( due to acne and scars) but not terribly unattractive 20 year old college guy

What do you ACTUALLY consider yourself to be?

Do you hold yourself up to as high of a standard as the women you put on a pedestal above and beyond you?

Look in the mirror and take away your acne scars and all that BS and understand where you personally value yourself.

If you want a woman to like you, by all means you must first appreciate what you can give both yourself and her in the relationship.

You say you are improving your life by making good choices. If you want someone who you consider "more attractive" than what you could get, consider in your mind who that type of person is, get the fuck out of the apartment, and see what you can do.

And yes, you should be fooling around with more girls. You're in college for christ's sake.

>>18047454
Just invite your mom and dad. Neither of them get to bring any guests. Done.

If they throw a fuss, politely remind them that this isn't about them

>>18047459

Yeah it stinks. I'm not used to having to say stuff like that. I wanted everyone to be happy about it. Want to talk to my fiance about it but he's playing video games.

"This is our budget. We cannot go over this. If you all want to invite extra guests, you can, but we cannot pay for them. They are welcome if they can find the finances. You can talk with your respective families about whether you want all-expenses-paid for a few people or partial-expenses-paid for more. But this is our hard limit and we cannot fund any more than this."