Hello. I seem to be stuck in a rut. Every day I go to classes, come home, sit on my laptop for a while, maybe take a nap, maybe work out, maybe go to the grocery store. Repeat xinfinity. I've been like this for almost two years now. I'm used to having at least a mildly interesting life and this isn't really working for me so I've developed some fun depression and anxiety which are doing a good job keeping me in place.
My question to you, adv, is how I escape this shit.
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Comon friends
I spent 20 minutes finding that picture
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>>18067570
go like some local news pages on social media so they can remind you of cool events that are happening in the city
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>>18067644
Try going places you haven't been before. Go to a bar or park and try exploring. If you are looking for romance, try talking with more people. If you are looking for a more intresting life, try joining a club or finding a hobby. Do something different.
Don't be stupid however, and do something like selling everything you own and going on a roadtrip. Everybody likes somebody with a stable life.
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What does /adv/ think of getting back together with an ex? Should it be avoided completely? Are there certain circumstances that you would think it's okay?
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The thing about breaking up is that if you did it once, you can do it again. Unless it was something that can be resolved easily it's not worth it.
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>>18067436
There are the three questions you should ask yourself:
>Why did you break up?
>Is the issue solved?
>Are we getting back together because we're actually happy together, or because we're scared to die alone?
>Did they do something you dislike during the break?
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>>18067436
My brother got back with his ex who he's now married to, but imo some things can just never be repaired. Especially if it's cheating. It will always be at the back of your mind.
Anonymous
I'm going to study computer science 2017-02-20 07:20:24 Post No.18067165
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I'm going to study computer science
Anonymous
2017-02-20 07:20:24
Post No. 18067165
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But the university I got accepted into isn't that great. Should I still go? I was under the impression that comp sci has a good job outlook so I'm not sure if it'll matter.
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>>18067165
May as well but I wouldn't rely too much on the university itself to teach you the actual programming part. You do that on your own as in you build your own programs, contribute to your own projects, etc.
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>>18067181
Then why go to university?
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>>18067197
is there a difference between software engineering and computer science? if not, then there are a ton of engineering stuff you'll learn in school which you surely will not learn by yourself
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How do I stop drinking alcohol?
Rehab is not an option. I have to take care of my sick mom and grandma who recently had a stroke.
Nights where I don't drink, I can't even fall asleep.
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Put off drinking until bedtime.
Not perfect, but probably better than what you've got right now.
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>>18066938
I heard sucking dick is pretty good for treating alcohol addiction
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>>18066938
what do you drink and how much of it? I do the same, I drink 2 shots of vodka every night until I run out, and then I don't buy for two weeks generally. I usually do 1 hour and a half of excercise and those days I don't even need it, I just drink for the love of sport. change your habits anon. maybe on your day off stay up until late?
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>be me 18, graduating hs in may
>diagnosed with panic disorder and major depression when i was 14
>had plenty of friends before that point
>played lacrosse and was the person who held the team together/scored all the points
>also was cheer captain
>anxiety/depression devastated me so much that i began using drugs around 15 + hanging out with bad influences
>quit cheer and lax
>quit hanging out with good friends
>flash forward to me 18 yrs old
>one friend who hangs out with me once a month
>boyfriend that i don't even like/lives on the other side of the country
>boyfriend is in magazines and shit
>super jealous of him because he always looks like he's having a great time and i'm a fucking loser
>only reason people date me is because i'm attractive
anyway... last week i tried to talk to my old friends and all they did was ignore me/whisper to each other and when i asked what they were talking about they looked at me like i was a fucking idiot... i never know what to say around people and i've been told that i'm boring before which i believe because the only thing outside of school that i do is play the cello... i really really like being alone most of the time and when presented with any social situation i clam up and don't know what to say. when i'm in crowds with people i get extremely anxious and panic a little bit... i still have really bad clinical depression and have been fucking around with meds for months now... right now it's a combo of effexor, wellbutrin, and klonopin. anyway... does this seem like a type of social anxiety or something else? what can i do to become more interesting/less autistic so i can actually be normal
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>>18066647
You have collaborated in your own (fortunately reversible) destruction.
A diagnosis is not a death sentence. You were the same person the day after the diagnosis as you were the day before. But you have let that label control your life, not just by accepting medications (which might in fact have done some good) but by changing your own behavior and personality to fit what you believed the diagnosis and label to require.
There was no real reason for you to quit lacrosse or hang out with druggies or any of the other things you're now unhappy about - except that you accepted that the diagnosis led inevitably to that.
And it's not your fault. You were a 14 year old child and so you accepted what the experts told you and re-defined yourself to fit the label.
But you're a big girl now. You do have the right and the power to say "I choose to act differently and to break out of some of the bad habits I've fallen into."
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you sound like a basic bitch who's only going out with a guy for status
you'll probably never have a good relationship ever
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>>18066744
im not very basic at all... im going to art school soon so the men i usually date have decent taste in music/art shit like that. i've never dated a chad before... i usually date shy guys that secretly have a lot of personality
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Girlfriend hits me one morning with "I don't want kids, so, if you do, then we should break up". Right as I'm walking out the door, best timing right?
Come back later after work to get her reasoning here, aside from the straight to the point of breaking up. She "thinks it's weird of having something growing inside of her" "would rather adopt a 6yr old kid" "can barely take care of herself" and so forth.
I hear it as she doesn't believe in herself as a mother or raise a kid, impatient, wants here now instead of long term, dad issues of her dad working all the time growing up
She's expecting me to change mind to what she wants, so I say lets end it then and leave. Few hours later she's miserably calling me, saying that maybe kids aren't so bad, and I'm so patient with her
Now I'm on the fence about what's going on in her head. Is she just saying this to keep me around? Get married and whatnot and all of a sudden she changes her mind?
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>>18069954
Is she, or in the near future will she be, on her period?
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>>18069990
No, happened last week
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>>18069995
Well something is obviously stressing her out.
Wait how old is she?
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Hey /adv/, I really need some advice.I know it's a lot to read so I'll TL;DR at the bottom. I usually go to /b/ for advice and always get a bunch of super edgy responses, but I hope you guys can try to see this rationally.
**Im gonna give some background info first. If you dont care for it, you can just skip down to the important part below which I'll mark.**
So I had been single for 2 years after coming out of a 3 year relationship. Mostly felt disgusted by most chicks because Im pretty picky to be honest. Not to be cocky or anything, but I'm very much ideal as a person and I expect the same from a girl, so I don't want to be in a relationship with just any chick. I also take my relationships seriously so I wanted to wait for a girl that I could actually fall in love with.
So what happened was I was kind of just swiping around on Tinder (which is a dating app. greasy, I know) and I met some chick on there, and her and I hit it off and we talked a lot. I took her out once, it didn't go extremely well because she was kind of shy, but I figured she had potential so I asked her out again and it went well, we ended up making out in the back of my car and whatnot.
So anyway I had been talking to her for a month and she made it pretty obvious that she liked me and she'd be down to date me. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend one day when I had her over at my house and she said yes, so yeah that was pretty cool.
******HERES THE IMPORTANT PART*********
So as of now her and I have been dating for 3 months and it's been great. I've already met her parents and they love me, and our relationship is pretty healthy in the regards that she's open with me and honest about how she feels, and so far everything has been okay, but then one day she told me she wanted to talk to me about something so I went and picked her up. What she told me is that a month before we met, she pretty much got raped. Cont'd in the replies.
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>>18069336
Now, it wasn't abduct and force type rape. It was just non consensual sex. One day she was at a party and she had drank a bit and after the party she had no way of getting home, so this random dude from the party offered her a ride, and instead of taking her home right away offered to take her inside and feed her, and while they were up there he basically just turned off the lights and went at it. Keep in mind, my girlfriend is 17, this dude is 24, and she had only ever had sex with one person before him, her boyfriend who she was in a relationship with at the time. She says she was too in shock/afraid to say do anything about it because she didnt know how he'd react, so she just layed there and waited til he was finished and then he dropped her off home later.
She got super fucked off of this and her self worth dropped, and she ended up just hoeing around and sleeping with a lot of guys. She fucked five guys over a month by just going to parties and whatnot. Hasn't gotten any STDs or gotten pregnant or anything, but yeah. She even told me that she met up with the guy who raped her again for sex over and over again. She was still seeing him when we first met, but after she fell for me, she kinda found her way out through loving me.
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>>18069343
I'm 18 (a year older than her) and I was still a virgin before I met her (by choice, not that I cant get any. I was just "waiting for the one". Also, to be honest I have pretty purist beliefs regarding sex, so the idea of hooking up never seemed ideal to me). I've never done any hookups or anything, only ever been sexually involved with people I was in a relationship with, and honestly hearing her tell me all this shit FUCKED me up so bad. Its mostly because I dont have any experiences with casual sex and whatnot so my beliefs on it are somewhat twisted, but like I've coincidentally come across bits of information and some little things shes told me that make me insecure as fuck to be honest. It's just that I can't handle the fact that there have been dudes who got there before me and had their way with her. It just feels wrong. I understand that this is an issue within my mindset because every girl I ever get with will have had a list of guys before me, but like Im working on coping with it.
I don't want to break up with her because I really love her and honestly shes perfect in every other way, her personality is perfectly compatible with mine. There are so so so many more details to the story, but Im just gonna leave it at that. If you guys want more details just ask. I dont have any concerns about her loyalty, her and I have made that part super clear, and she's acted upon it and everything, so I don't have fear that she'll cheat on me. My only concern is how the fuck do I deal with this on my own? How do I tackle this insecurity of mine? It just weird knowing that she could easily be comparing me to any other dude shes been with, and that any of those guys could just look at her and think "I fucked that chick," it just makes me feel like Im at a disadvantage. And I dont want to talk to her about it too much because Ill feel like a hindrance on her.
Cont'd (almost done)
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>>18069343
>Cont'd
pls stop
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Hi /adv/
Im most likely going to have sex for the first time ln Thursday
Me and the girl are both 21, I don't think she's a virgin.
Any tips?
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>>18069207
Tickle her, make her laugh, be playful
Dont moan like a girl.
When you have vaginal sex, rotate circullary
Make it about her
Make sure to be courteous and ask permission before you cum
When you cum dont start turn into a wailing moron. Instead, start smiling, and control your urge to moan. She will be blown away by your sense of control, and this is a very very important thing when you are having sex for the purpose of procreation, so the child will be conceived in worthiness and purity.
Also, put on The Cranberries.
Hold her to your chest, as if she was alittle girl and stroke her head lovingly. All women want this, whether they are aware of it or want to admit to it.
Girls love kissing, dont stop even though it might get boring.
If she would potentially enjoy metal, play the following rammstein songs:
Frühling in Paris
Feir und wasser
Klavier
Sensucht
If she is really really freaky:laichzeit
Mazol tov, remember to be upright and conduct yourself with simplicity
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>>18069297
>When you have vaginal sex, rotate circullary
Which way? Vertically or horizontally?
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>>18069299
Experiment, ask her what she prefers. Also focus on the gspot when you masturbate her or perform cunnilingus. Remember to go in circles, not up and down.
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What do most people think about depression? I feel out of the loop on this.
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>>18068697
It's not real.
It's just that this generation is filled with soft people who make up a disease for every bad feeling they have.
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>>18068697
It's depressing
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I think I'm mildly depressed. It used to be a lot worse. At my worst point, my family was in the living room and I was in the kitchen holding a knife to my stomach trying to imagine as specifically as possible what it would be like to kill myself. In the end, the thought of my little sister seeing my body bleeding out on the kitchen floor kept me from doing it right then and there. Since then I've gotten better, but I still have bad days
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/adv/, I'm 21f and newly in an ldr relationship with 21m. We've been dating for 3 months and before that we were friends. He was really sweet at first and made me melt. I was really crazy about him and thought I struck gold with a guy nicer and sweeter than anyone I ever knew. I believed that I finally found someone who truly liked me. We talked about the future and we agreed we would date with the intention of marriage.
But then he got comfortable with me and things changed. He's pretty sarcastic and would make plenty of rude jokes. He's also really blunt and would seriously say stuff that's hurtful. The thing is, I'm the opposite of that. I feel hurt but I can't tell him. And in a way I feel that it won't matter to him anyway. I question if it's even alright to bring these matters up, because I know he didn't mean anything bad by it and that the blunt honesty is in the end the truth after all.
I question if this kind of bullshit is worth it from a 3 months relationship. I don't know if I should tell him and work this out or just cut it loose. This relationship isn't sweet anymore and it's still this early. What to do /adv/?
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>my partner upset me
>i dont tell them because im such a sensitive sweetie teehe
You are literally garbage dating tier. ALL of your relationships will fail after the honeymoon period if you do this shit.
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>>18068686
I know two wrongs don't make a right and all that but give it right back to him. Be just as blunt and sarcastic or maybe more. When he complains about you just say "you turned me into this"
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>>18068728
Dude, Idk. I find it difficult to say this to him because he would rightfully want me to explain and it will be difficult for me to do it.
The thing is, the shit he says to me is completely fine if it was said by a friend. But it hurt me because idk. Either it's because I actually liked him and that shit hurts when said by people I'm romantically interested in or because he's past the honeymoon period faster than I am.
>>18068731
I've been trying that, really. I started being more direct but I wonder if I actually want this shit from a romantic relationship in the first place. I feel like my feelings are slowly fading before it even had the chance to truly take roots.
why do people determine their self worth over how sexually desirable they are?
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>>18068675
because it's literally the only thing that matters. to reproduce.
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Because everyone is narcissistic at heart
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Because people wanna fuck. It's what most people are working towards on some capacity
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Sorry in advance for drunktyping.how to get the guys around me to feel comfortable just going for it? Sometimes I get picked up, and it's all good, but what i realy want is for the men in my life to just take charge and dont' waste time with all this romance bullshit. If he wants a BJ, I want him to just whip it out and grab my head and go to work. Howw do I make it clear to the men in my life that I'm down for them just taking what they want?
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You could try saying that to them. A lot of them would probably really like the idea if they aren't insecure in their own sexuality. That doesn't mean that the opposite doesn't hold true as well, odds are someone would be off put by it.
Personally I'd kill for my wife to be as promiscuous with me as I want to be with her.
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Maybe tell them your a massive slut you're available whenever they want?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU
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How do I get my daughter to stop being a coalburner? She's beautiful but wastes it on slutting it up with ghetto thug lyfe trash. I've tried imposing curfews and screening all the friends she brings over but she keeps finding ways around it as evidenced by her Facebook and text messages. Now I've barred her windows and make her take birth control every morning but that won't be enough to prevent diseases, drugs, and other such degeneracy.
How do I set her straight before it's too late? At this point I'm so desperate I'd give anything for her to just have a steady white boyfriend. I'd even settle for asian.
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How fat is your daughter?
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Is the issue they're ghetto, or is the issue they're black?
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>>18068295
>failed parent implicitly blames race as the reason for his daughter's degeneracy
icameheretolaughatyou.gif
Anonymous
I have some questionable photos on my phone 2017-02-21 02:10:25 Post No.18068270
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I have some questionable photos on my phone 2017-02-21 02:10:25 Post No.18068270
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I have some questionable photos on my phone
Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:10:25
Post No. 18068270
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I have a few photos on my phone that , to be honest I'm afraid will cause my friends to see me as odd. Still, I really don't want to delete them from my phone . I need to know if it's too odd to be explained away. I'm not a freak I just have odd tendencies , certain things makes me feel better and I can't help it.
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>>18068270
What're the photos?
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Lock the photos? Most phones will have this feature, and if not, there are apps for this.
Have you not done this already? What's the issue?
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>>18068275
Stuff like this
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So me and this girl have been talking. At first it seemed like it was just friends but things started escalating. At one point she sent me a selfie with a bitmoji that was drawing a heart, and another that said "goodnight kisses".
And on more than one occasion she has sent me a picture where I could tell she had no shirt on, not a nude though. Sometimes she leaves me on read and responds later, or never responds until the next day.
Whenever I pass by her in the hallway she smiles at me and when I hold the door for her she says: "Thank you Thomas!" In a cheery voice.
She seems happy with her boyfriend but of course I'm not around with them so it's possible she's putting up an act for him. What should I do in this situation?
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You're overthinking it and it's definitely in your head - stop being a faggot.
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>>18068047
>boyfriend
Yeah what's she's doing is prepping a replacement for her bf
Girls never let themselves be single
You're the back up if her bf fucks up
Is that good?
Who knows
Maybe at least enjoy a fuck
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Maybe she think you're gay and want a Gay BF? Nah honestly texting hearts and kisses doesnt mean anything dude.