Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2405. page

No, ask her out for coffee. "Next Wednesday."

>>18088345
>>18088351
Both sound good to me but OP stick to that script that's how you ask people out without sounding cringey

>>18088351
the context is its a drawing workshop and she's really into art anyway, and I figured the pieces might give some conversation topics

Personally I don't think an obnoxious jackass like that deserves your time. Proving to him that you aren't all talk probably felt good, but do you really care what he thinks? If I were you, I wouldn't.

Now here's the thing - sounds like everything nearly turned out perfectly in the end. I suggest your first takeaway is learning a bit more social awareness - this was a good time for a more broad explanation, like "We had an argument earlier and we're talking it over, we were just finishing." That's generally true, doesn't freak out mom, and preserves the other social connections you have. You had a lot more to loose than the 17 year old jerk, you know?

The second thing I suggest you think about is just how much good there is in proving anything to pathetic and rude people in the first place.

You sound like a bunch of autistic homos, but the kind i would have hung out with. All in all this was nothing more than a dick measuring contest between boys. No one is really in the wrong here. Maybe the 17 year old will slow his roll now.

>>18088393
OP here, I feel you, what really pissed me off is that he called me out like that in a group chat filled with my friends. I wasn't gonna let this little punk try and call my bluff. I do think I should have turned it down a notch when his mom came out. She thinks I'm psycho now, and I don't know if it's because I was about to beat up her youngest son in his own front lawn, or the fact that I wanted him to kiss my hand. I do like his mom and his stepdad so I want to be in good terms with them.

>>18088297
>How do I know if I am actually depressed or just whining senselessly on anonymous basket-weaving board?
You go an see a mental health professional who can diagnose you if you have depression.

I like to think of these matters from a behaviorist perspective. A mental illness is a harmful pattern of behavior. If the illness does not cause practical behavioral problems, it's not much of an illness, is it? Observe your outward behaviors over time in an objective fashion. If they match what is described for depression, then you have depression. Who cares what the internal state is? If the behaviors match the description, then it doesn't matter whether your internal state is genuine or fake depression. Regardless, if your fake depression has the same practical effect as someone else's genuine depression, then it is every bit as much of a genuine problem as theirs is.

>>18088307
/thread

Let it end here.

These are dumb threads, very black and white thinking on both sides. If you're reading this I suggest you click away, or just dismiss all advice given here as satire.

>>18088236
Disagree, In the past days I have received very good answers from girls here that have actually helped with my confidence.

>>18088296
like?

>>18088214
>>Why did it end?
i got drunk and made an ass out of myself in front of her extended family, was the last straw and on some level i think it was self sabotage because ultimately i was scared to really commit

>>What would you have done differently?
not been such a fuckface

>>What were they like?
bitchy, opinionated, smart, but also needy and in constant need of validation

>why did it end
I was depressed, stopped paying attention to her, was drunk 24/7.
>what would you have done differently
Nothing, I met alot of amazing women afterwords, more heartbreaks, more amazing experiences with amazing girls I never would have met or been close to otherwise
>what was she like
Half filipina, half white. Short, very cute. She was a fantastic singer and artist we wrote songs together all the time, drank beer at the beach went on adventures quoted terrible sitcoms 24/7.

Ended because we promised to keep things casual, we'd been friends for a long time and didn't want to lose eachother by getting attached, then I got attached.

I wish I'd been less paranoid and provided more so I could show him I was worth it

He was perfect. Quick witted, knew what he wanted, pretended to be cold to the world but I feel like he really let me in. He said he wanted to preserve the friendship but I've never felt more like an outsider since

>>18088194
why can't you have a relationship or have sex op? are you a faggot?

>>18088284

I can't accept affection. It bothers me when people show affection toward me. Especially a romantic sense, I couldn't imagine a girl sitting in my lap looking at me. I literally can't picture that

>>18089054
History of abuse? This type of mentality isnt supposed to be common and there are ways to help you with that. It sounds like you seek companionship or just friendship on a deeper level.

Why leave the greatest nation on earth?

Well,love.

>>18087954
Despite Trudeau's constant virtue signalling, Canada has pretty strict immigration policy
You gotta be worth something to get in.

Just do what everyone else does.
Have him visit, then never leave
What're the odds of Immigration finding a white man? Slim

Be the type of person who attracts that kind of person man. Can't find someone if they aren't looking for you too.

>get /fit/
>be not super ugly
>be employed
>be passionate and focused
>put hiking as hobbies in dating profile
That's literally all you have to do.

>>18087961
Disregard the info I told you in comment above greentext listen to green text, greentext man is now your spiritual guide.

>>18087901
you havent met her in the best environment possible, that is something you couldnt choose and it doesnt help at all... dont rush things, let things flow, maybe you two will have more opportunities to know each other a bit, if you like what you see then you can offer her to talk outside of work, BUT be careful with crushes, those are totally unrational, be rational and dont keep hopes too high, pretend just to be a nice coworker first and then possibly a nice friend...

>>18087901
>yes she seen and heard him
>she seen

You deserved it.

>>18087901
another good advice: never give unnecesary information at work, if you are forced to then dont try to expose yourself, you will be open for critizism or somebody would take advanges of that... its like that everywhere not just in your workplace

Seriously though guys, I want to know by tomorrow morning. I'll say something then
I just want to know now what is real. It seems now that she feels like I'm important, like my feelings about her appearance means something
That's what "salon" implies
I want that to be true
Surely it can't be

>>18088094

She likes you or she wouldn't be looking to you for advice she can get from any girlfriend

>>18088103
That's assuming salon means "hair salon"
Surely that can't be
The friendship we had was an academic one
We had both the same interests

The last time we spoke, which was 3 months ago since this message, she said "God, I've wanted to talk to someone like you forever. I don't need to pretend at all about what I'm interested about"
So we talked about history, anthropology, politics, and philosophy
I enjoyed that a great bit and that really endeared me to her.
We got to talking about what it means to talk to someone and how rare it was to really be understood
I went away from that conversation thinking that it'd be a long time until I talked to someone like her

So what the fuck is this salon shit about?
Is she being coy?
"Oh let me talk about how you talked about my hair"
She's not a vain person, not remotely.

Everything is pointed towards a straightforwards interpretation of her message. That she cares about how I think.
I think she's playing pretend, like I am.
That's she's acting the woman to seem innocuous.

Fuck. I like her very very much. I can't handle the idea that she may like me the same way

>>18087840

To be asleep, and then the procedure will be finished. Don't touch the gauze in your mouth when you wake up, although you probably won't remember since you'll be woozy and drugged up from anesthetics. I'd suggest having someone go with you so they can take you home.

>>18087840
sore mouth for a day or two and perhaps overbleeding if it runs in the family (like it did for me)

its not bad

>>18087840
I'll tell you my experience:
I didn't remember getting knocked out. I didn't remember my parents helping bring me home.
When I came to, I felt unbalanced and pain where my teeth were taken out. I spent a few days eating liquids and greek yogurt. Also had to regularly replace the gauze in my mouth with fresh ones. The prescribed painkillers helped.

>>18087812
Learn an actual language instead. Learning coding just for the sake of telling pople that you learned how to code is worthless bs.

>>18087815
I've already learned Chinese actually, it was my major in undergrad. When my friends brought up learning a skill, I mentioned that I've been thinking of learning Japanese since my Chinese is now fairly fluent, and they said I should try learning coding or GIS instead to show I have other skills besides languages.

I still want to give Japanese a shot, but I can see their point as to why I should try to learn another skill too.

Start with python. Do codeacademy first. Then go through Learning Python the Hard Way by Zed Shaw and do everything /exactly/ how he says, then go to Codingbat.com and run through all their puzzles until you can clear all the Python puzzles, then take a stab at project euclid, get to the end of that and you'll have a very strong foundation in the basics of scripting language and should be able to pick up harder languages with ease. Should take about 2 years if you space out lessons appropriately. Go too slowly and you won't make much progress, and too quickly means you'll be in over your head without digesting the basics.

>>18087762
You go to r9k and vanish out of thin air to become one with them.

>>18087772
i clicked on it, the catalog looks scary

Get educated, or get a job.

UTI's in women are super, super, super common. It's like a bloody nose to them. It's extremely unlikely some spit from her asshole gave her one.

Washing her butthole will still not be 100% secure. Remember, it's a butthole.

Women in general are more prone to getting UTIs than men, and getting feces near the urinal tract is almost always a guarantee for getting it.

Here are some protips:
- Avoid any contact between butthole and pussy.
- She should pee right after you are done. This will help flush out bacteria.
- She should drink more grape juice or take grape suppliments, as they help to prevent UTIs.

Good luck.

>>18087720
>We had placed a towel beneath her that would periodically let my spit drip onto
How can you people have sex like this? This is so fucking unerotic, I swear.

Also, completely anecdotal, but with my ex I've changed between holes dozens of times in the heat of the moment (she didn't care and even demanded it) and she never had anything.

>>18087678
Take away your stuff from him, you pussy. He's shown he can't be trusted with anything that belongs to you.

Tough scenario. Some people just don't care about shit and any idea you think of won't get it into their minds to be responsible. I think some people are helpless. I tend to suggest to the people living with me to do things; I give very friendly reminders. Remember not to force things, otherwise people won't do them. Maybe your instructions were too vague or maybe he thought he followed the instructions.

You should break down the situation into pieces.

1) Did he take care of the dog? How do you know? Does he think he took care of the dog? Could you have explained with clearer instructions or perhaps an easier way for him to remember?

2) The mess. Some people are pigs. Maybe he had a lazy weekend. Will he clean up? Will he make an attempt to clean up? Does he acknowledge the mess? Does he think it's a problem, and if not why? Are you overreacting about the mess because you're mad?

3) Before you take things away, think if he's really to blame. Did he make a decent attempt at his task? If he did ok, but not what you expected, you should be angry but not vengeful.

4) If I were you I'd cool off but consider my other questions. If he really is to blame 100% then go ahead and take what you want and move it to your room. It might be awkward if he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He'd probably say you're overreactng. Before doing anything I'd like to know your answers.

>>18087678
Pot heads have terrible judgment.

You and he are perfect examples of this. Make friends with a normal intelligent person that's responsible and convince or trick them into helping you next time.