How do I change my mindset? I have no talent, no drive, and no ability to focus even when I WANT to do or become good at something.
Tell a doctor you've got ADD, get aderall and everything will go smoothly
>>18068723
>How do I change my mindset?
i wish i knew anon
>>18068723
Start out with a process of elimination. Do you like making things? Are you into body building or obscure movies? Doesn't really matter what it is, even if its the most 'autistic' hobby out there; it gives you something to talk about and it weeds out people who dont gel into your general interests and ergo increases your chances of building a relationship with them and experiencing social benefits with them (I.e. sex, connections, references)
Of course, if you're doing hobbies just for some vague ulterior motive, and you dont or no longer enjoy it, you're setting yourself up for failure. For example, I'm not into sports...I honestly can't see how anyone can go on and on about that stuff without getting bored, it just doesnt make sense in the same way I'll never understand otakus collecting expensive figurines, despite the two things ive mentioned being popular hobbies.
If you're picking up a hobby to impress other people, youre setting yourself up to fail because you cant please everybody, and peoples tastes in things change, so dont do it.
Do something or follow something you enjoy. I started with cooking and learming all sorts of techniques about it. Same with fashion...I used to just follow lookbooks and shit as a pointer to look better, but I learned more about fabrics, design and how the industry works and am thinking of considering it as a career..of course it's just an idea, but it's an illustration if how some small interests can become passions.
Is it wrong for me to be mad at my friends that asked me to hang out, but ended up going without me?
Because my friend is pissed off that Im pissed off because they didnt tell me until the last minute that I wasnt invited.
Then they had the balls to invite me out after they got back.
Why are people so shitty? Dont ask me to hang out the night before, ignore my texts all day, then bitch at me because I'm mad.
For fucks sake, this is exactly the reason why I didnt want to hang out with people in the first place.
They're not your friends. move on.
Your friend is a douche, and the bunch of them are falldowns. You're in the right here.
fond some better friends who care. problem solved
How do I suppress the "I have no friends" vibe when meeting new people?
talk about what you like not who you like it with then sudden topic change
YT search: Classik Obas, will give better advice than anyone on this shitty fucking website filled with autistic trolls and normies who have no soul or inner substance.
What do i do when a girl snaps me pictures of her her tits super exposed or in the bath shirtless? I know she'll send nudes but idk how to ask. She just ends up getting embarrassed because she thinks I'm not interested but idk how to act interested and not feel like a pervert
>>18068622
nothing because they're bots
simply compliment her
>>18068639
I go to school with her...
>>18068655
I do but she still acts embarrassed it's weird
I got a job at a big engineering company a month ago. On my application I put that I was Latino, I'm like 5%. After I got hired I put that I was white (Not Latino) for my personal information. I can't change the information, the website says I need to go to hr to change it. What do? Right now it looks like I lied about my race. Should I talk to HR and try to change it? What should I say to HR? Should I not do anything?
>>18068588
Whats the difference between telling or not? Why did you put latino first, and what do you get by changing it back? Probably you should leave it at that.
HR here. It doesn't matter. They just use that information for statistics.
I have this female friend who is dating a guy who lives about an hour away.
I've known her for the past year (we go to grad school together) but for the past month she won't leave me alone.
>She texts me asking to come over like 3 times a week
>Made a list of movies we have to watch together
>If I don't see her for some reason one week I got "I Miss You" text
>Invited her self onto my grad school softball team
>I went away for the weekend, and on my day back I got about 5 texts from her asking when I'm coming home and if she can come over
Idk...she has a BF who she talks to all the time. I think its weird that she is super clingy to just one of her guy friends. I have a lot of female friends and never have this problem
I'm guessing its some sort of attention thing.
>>18068578
>softball
She can tell you're a lesbian
Attention sounds right
How do you do a guerilla grow? Like how the fuck do you even do it. You can't take care of the soil good and you have to put them in an area that's completely shaded
Grow lights in your closet with a sealable enclosure to keep in the smell.
>>18068555
I tried to grow a few times outside in a wooded area sort of off the property. They always got eaten or destroyed mysteriously.
My moms bf bought an old boat (not small) and it just sat in the yard for a year...I put a few plants inside it low down so you couldnt even see it from the second floor. Those plants had full sun and I just had to jump inside it every day with a can of water. They grew to be monsters maybe 3 ft tall....
and then my mom discovered them
How do I stop falling love so easily?
I restrain myself and don't spill everything out to them. But when they leave, I can't help but feel heartbroken
>>18068531 (OP)
If you wanna stop falling in love so much, just think about the future a bit. Can you really imagine being with whoever you're in love with for the rest of your life? Would you really give up any other chance to be with somebody else just for them?
Don't date everyone who seems to like you to stop yourself from feeling lonely all the time, because you like a few traits about them, or just the fact that they're nice. Be a bit more picky if you really want to be.
But being picky won't stop heartbreaks, if that's what you're looking for. It might make it happen less often if you already connect yourself deeply to every single person, but it'll still happen whenever you try dating new people. It's normal to be heartbroken, so don't dwell on it too much. Just keep trying.
start being a bit picky, thats what i did, it worked for me... im alone atm but at least im not broken hearten xd
You're not in love. You're infatuated and desperate.
Does Anyone know how to calibrate an High Dynamic Range UHD 4K HDTV?(LED) With 10-Bit Color?( NTSC) REC.2020 is Plagued by a Color-Cast of Greenish Blue Tint,and a Very High Gamma(which makes REC.2020's Color-Cast all too Noticeable
>>18068482
With a spectrometer?, or in the HDTV's Command Prompt menu?
>>18068499
I don't like the results of Color Spectrometers,at least the expensive ones at BestBuy I've used,there's a Command Prompt menu in HDTVs?
>Want to lose weight and run on the treadmill
I lose the strength to do it and just get super tired after work and whatever and just dont end up doing it. I know it has to do with being lazy but on some days I get on it and just get off after 5 minutes and get super tired or bored
>>18068470
music
audiobooks
actual books
preworkout
PREWORKOUT
PREWORKOUT TAKEN 20 MINUTES BEFORE GOING TO THE GYMN
Apply this advice and you will feel energized in no time.
>>18068475
Preworkout just to use a treadmill? I have one at my home and that is what im talking about
>>18068477
Yes. Preworkout is a mixture of caffeine anhydrous and particular proteins and vitamins which will produce an ennervating sentiment in anyone with a functioning spinal cord. You'll sweat like a banshee though, at least the blue raspberry makes me feel that way.
If you're on a budget get caffeine pills at your Vitamin Shoppe or local equivalent. 200 pills will run you maybe 8 bucks, while the cans of PW powder can be in the 20-40 dollar range.
ITT:Based Torah Jew gives advice and motivates you
>>18068413
Is there a more efficient way to deal with you then a dollar bill on a fishing hook in front of an oven, or am I at 6 shekillian levels of efficiency right now?
>>18068419
The best thing is to not respond to me or give me any energy. If you post flames, then that just motivates me to post more, but if you dont feed any energy to me, then I can't be jumpstarted to post more....same goes for when your mom or anyone is yelling at you. If you dont say anything, its chemically impossible for them to keep going
we are both in college, I am a girl in England and he is a boy in Norway.
met this guy on omegle. (beautiful fairytale)
i've been single for a year.
we kept in touch and have been talking everyday.
Originally I thought he was a fuckboy as he joked about nudes.
He showed a human realistic side. More realistic over anyone I have ever met.
He makes me feel beautiful.
The way he looks at me through a screen makes me feel important.
The way he cares for me feels real.
I love looking into his eyes.
I feel like a fag.
He has a damn good body.
He makes me feel infinite.
Talking to him just plants my feet on the ground and keeps my head from spinning out of control.
I haven't felt this way in a while but there is something off about it.
Plus I could never do anything.
My family has decided to let me take a plane to meet him.
I don't know what I am doing.
I can't be with him.
Just try it out if you feel this way about him
I hate people who fall in love with people they meet on Omegle
nope it was great
>>18068366
who did you lose it to
>>18068360
Not at all
This is less of a "help me" thread and more of me trying to get a better perspective on an issue that's been bothering me.
How do your personas you project out in social situations compare to your "self?" My persona I project out is a naive, intelligent, polite, modest, slightly quirky individual. I feel like that sort of mask helps me attract more friends because I have derived that my actual self is much more smug, excitable, analytical, egotist, and critical.
Despite these obviously negative descriptors, I think my "self" is at heart a nice person and I like the idiosyncrasies of my "self" but he's not exactly a person people want to be around, which is obviously understandable but I find the whole idea of projecting someone that isn't exactly a perfect representation of my character to be rather.....unnesscessary. It would seem the goal of interpersonal communication would be fulfilled much easier if we just dropped our fronts, allowing people to easily derive who they do and don't like. I don't know if this tendency is biological, or a particularly powerful social construct but there has to be a better way. I'm not looking for an idealist utopia of socialization but I feel the most of the social-games people go through are useless and counterproductive
Anyways, autistic ranting aside, I would like to know how people's social projections compare to their real selves and if anyone is in a similar situation to mine or has similar issues with the entire concept
>>18068274
This is a more common issue that a lot of people deal with anon. It's just that not many people are as self-aware as you are. You have the choice to reconcile these two "selfs" and be your actual self all of the time or you can choose to be your projected self with some people and your actual self with close friends and family. The choice is yours. I can say from experience that when we don't live and act out our core values, we begin to become dissatisfied with ourselves and slowly little by little, self-loathing creeps in.
For me, I chose a while ago to be my actual self regardless of people liking me or not because that's when I'm most at peace with my self. I don't exhaust myself anymore projecting what I think i need to with whomever I'm with.
>>18068274
Actually, a very interesting subject. Maybe start with The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life by Erving Goffman. Foundational study, might be a bit outdated but it's good stuff.
Now, answering your question, yes I have different personas to deal with different people. When it comes to a professional environment where something is at stake (think a job interview) I often have to assume an extremely proactive attitude, polite but always trying to get the "upper hand". With acquaintances, like classmates I try to be funny and cheerful, while keeping a helpful and attentive attitude. My "self" is more on the quiet side, usually people that don't know me and get to see that side of me considers it moody or melancholic; it's more that I get enraptured with my thoughts (not necessarily profound or interesting).
Now, if I were to judge my success at representing a good role, I'd say it's only partial. People don't seem to be uncomfortable around me, and I get the more immediate benefits out of this, but it seems like I absolutely suck at actually connecting with people.
About the idea of everyone just "being themselves" in front of everyone else, that seems nice, specially for people like me, that won't understand the mechanics of implicit social cues as nicely as others. But I honestly think it's impossible, since putting on a facade actually brings great competitive advantages to the ones that excel at it, so there is a selective pressure favoring people willing to present themselves in better ways. Just look at me: the job interview persona actually helped me.
Yeah outwardly I'm a taunting obnoxious weirdo but with my close friends i really mellow out, i think its a crowd thing.
probably really stupid question but whatever
my birthday is fast approaching and i want to spend it with my friends, who i don't hang out with as much as i'd like
however, for some reason i keep feeling like saying "hey, my birthday is coming up, and i want you to help me celebrate it" is a bad idea, especially when i don't actually have a clue for what i want to do with my friends
i'm totally just being stupid, right? and if not, how should i handle this?
what the fuck
ask them if they can come to a restaurant that night
>>18068233
Message them "hey! I'' having a birthday dinner on the __th if you wanna come!"
>>18068233
Come up with an idea, invite them along. It doesn't have to be dinner, just whatever. I don't know how old you are, so it could be a few drinks at the bar, bowling, whatever.
It's not hard.