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My family consists of me(18), my brother(11) my mother(45) and my father(50ish). I live with them and am completely dependent on them. I plan to start uni in October of this year. They both have relatively well paying jobs. I perform well academically but that's about it.
My mum and dad both have issues and fight quite frequently. Today things came to a head. My mum called me while I was at home and began talking to me about a fight she had with my dad.
Usually I don't argue with either of them since it achieves nothing and they resolve it with "the other one has turned you against me". But in this case I flipped and basically told her how I was tired of their shit and that they need to suck it up and actually talk to each other for once.
This released some stress I'd been holding in for the past week and in that state of not quite caring about things I spoke candidly about our family to them both. This did not help things.
The fact that I lost control of myself has me worried. I don't know whether I can keep handling things like this from now on. I'd like to speak with someone outside my family about this but I don't know who to turn to or even whether it would be a good choice.
The friend I know who'd be able to help me has problems of his own. He's always been the person people turn to with this sort of problem and I feel he may be tired of that.
Another thing I'm afraid of is if I have to leave the family or go into care I don't think I'll be able to pay for my uni living costs due to the laws surrounding student loans here.
I just wanted to get this off my chest and talk to someone about it without having any consequences. Thanks for reading this far /adv/.
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They shouldn't be using you as their therapists just because their marriage isn't looking so good. You did the right thing by speaking out and you were just holding in some stuff for too long. Be careful because it can easily turn into emotional abuse when two parents can't settle their disputes quietly.
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You're definitely not alone when it comes to fighting parents who use kids as tools against each other. (although I don't know what the severity of yours is so yeah)
Don't know what the solution is. I always stayed in the middle, sometimes speaking up for my mum, sometimes for my dad. But only if I thought they were no longer arguing about the issue but just being crappy to each other.
What I'm taking from it is to not be like that when I reach their age, and also supporting myself let's me limit my contact with them.
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>30 years old
>No job
>No friends
>University drop-out
>Overweight
>Unkempt appearance
>Alcoholic
>Smoker
>8+ hours a day spent on 4chan
Thank God I'm not a virgin. My life didn't start going downhill until my early 20's, until then I was relatively normal. How do I turn this shit around? Where do I start? I've lost most of my 20's, but I'm still pretty young and I don't think it's too late to change.
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>weight
Start with intermittent fasting, look it up. Long story short: you pick an 8-hour window in the day and you don't eat outside of that window. If you don't like this idea, then download a calorie-counting app for your phone and do CICO instead.
>No Income, No Job / Assets (NINJA)
People in this situation were being given home loans and entire houses in the years leading up to the housing crash of 9.5ish years ago. Look for minimum wage within bus range if you can find it; look for a way out if you can't. If your town is shit then you should ask yourself if you've got any creative ways of relocating.
>University drop-out
Degrees are shit, they only qualify you for government jobs and failing companies. If your current power level is zero then you need to worry about level one first, find a restaurant that isn't having its stovetops torn out by construction crews like the ones in my town.
>Unkempt appearance
Spend your alcohol money on a quality electric shaver. Don't cheap out and get a cheap shaver with a cheap bottle of liquor, you'll regret both.
>8+ hours a day spent on 4chan
You'll spend less time here if you get some of the other shit sorted out.
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Sounds like you got an addiction problem. Addicted to easy livng. Addicted to internet and games. You need to quit cold turkey.
Sell your computer. Cancle your internet. Go to bed beforr 11. Wake up beforr 9. Exercise everyday even if its just a walk. Eat right. Shave. Shower atleast every two days. Get your haircut once a month. Purchase some new clothing thats neutral. Make a resume (bullshit) and get some relatives or friends to be fake references. Start applying to jobs you think you can handle as a starting point. When you get bored go for a walk. Go to the library to get books to read. Join a sports club like brazilian jiu jitsu for instance. Join any kind of club where you can engage in conversation and friendly competitive activity. Chess...squash...badmington...basketball...judo. brazilian jiu jitsu. Go to he bar for a drink every now and again. Maybe talk to some girls. Occassionally spend money on a really nicelooking escort hooker for some sex. Seriously. If single that is... if u have a strong urge to play a video game go to a friends house or an actual arcade.
If you are noticing a trend...basically irs being active. Its jeeping you off the couch while giving you activities. What this is going to do is change endorphins in your brain. You will initially feel a bit lost but after 2 weeks become more accustomed to a routine of being proactive. its training you to not be lazy and do ve active.
Avoid your car as much as possible. There is no need to drive somewhrre that is less than a 30 minute walk away. Load up music on your mp3 player before u sell your PC. This will help you focus on your walks.
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>>18095128
Learning judo would actually be pretty cool.
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I am completely mentally unstable...
I am 23 years old, making my girlfriends life a living hell as she constantly has to worry about me.. it is destroying our relationship..
>wake up pace back and forth refresh the internet eat (try to sleep) wake up and repeat
>constantly feel an intense negative energy from my mind
>cannot make decisions in life.. have spent the past 3 years homeless and jobless, drifting around being depressed
I want to change my life
any advice will help
I am experiencing intense denationalization/derealization symptoms (have been for 3-4 years) and always feel mentally uncomfortable.
(pic not really related..)
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>>18095039
Hit this shit niggar.
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What about therapy about these issues?
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First advice would be to get off 4chan, because this place has an extremely negative effect on your mood.
The next problem will be finding something to do with your time that is not PC or internet related.
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> Be 30 and in a long term relationship for almost 15 years.
> Things are alright but getting stale. Think about ending it for a while, but see no "real" reason. It's just a bit boring at times. But that's expected after so long. But I've always been faithful
> Meet girl at work. One thing leads to another - have (amazing) sex a couple of times
> Gf notices something and i tell her about it and that I thought about ending our relationship for quite some time. And I now let me seduce that easily, which means somethings definitely not right.
> Gf says she still loves me and we can work everything out
> So confused. Of course i still have feelings for her but not sure if it's enough to be happy. Still think about the other girl as well.
> We don't see each other for about a month and now have agreed we try meeting and talking again and try if it could work out again.
> Tell other girl that. And that i'm not sure where things with old gf are going, so it's best to not see each other anymore because I don't want to bullshit anyone anymore.
So basically I have to decide between a long, routine, sometimes boring but stable relationship or a new exciting but maybe short lived one, or none at all.
I'm just so afraid to make any permanent decision which I will regret in the future. I just feel completely paralyzed and can't make up my mind. I'm sure it would work out with either (or none) of them.
Sometimes I think i should definitely end my old relationship, especially if I'm not 100% sure about it anymore. Then again I think I'm throwing away something really special I'm not sure if i'll ever find something like that again and end up miserable, just because we're having a tough time at the moment.
This is probably the last place I should ask for something, but maybe anyone has a couple words of advice to help me make up my mind.
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>still not married after 15 years
>no kids
>already cheated several times and doesn't even feel bad about it
just leave jesus fuck
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>>18094965
All relationships get stale after a certain amount of time. That's why people say they take work to maintain. This is what every relationship you will ever be in will turn into long-term, because you won't water your own goddamn lawn. And even now, she's willing to work on this because she loves you. The fuck are you doing, OP? If you can't handle the effort, leave. But don't take that to mean you can handle a relationship with someone else.
I've been with the same person for more than half my life. Sometimes things become routine, but when that happens, we do new and interesting things together. We travel, pick up hobbies, just drive in a random direction, etc. If you don't have kids, you don't have anything holding you back from making things exciting again.
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>>18094965
You're a moron. You've already planted the seeds for your relationship to crumble anyway, so you might as well seal the deal and end it. You want to anyway, because you already tried it.
soo tomorrow I have to go on long road trip with my sisters husband with whom I have not good Communication...
we had business together and I quit with no words ...
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>>18094833
Is it just you two?
Be polite and try to repair the relationship. Find things in common to talk about.
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>I have not good Communication
You can say that again
Is that really all the information you're going to give us? Prepare for a long trip of awkwardness with possibility of confrontation about you being a dead beat at some point along the trip. Have a reason prepared and try to patch things up.
Or just hope you can sit in silence without saying a word to one another the whole trip
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and he is totally dickhead
Anonymous
Did a dumb, how do you patch arm cuts? 2017-03-02 07:44:41 Post No.18094830
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Did a dumb, how do you patch arm cuts? 2017-03-02 07:44:41 Post No.18094830
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Did a dumb, how do you patch arm cuts?
Anonymous
2017-03-02 07:44:41
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Should I take something for swelling, pain, or stupidity?
I'd slashed my arm a bit earlier when checking how sharp I'd made the knives in the weeks since I'd last cut (only ever did it once before today), and it's a crapton redder than last time. In my brilliance, I decided to carved a name into my forearm on top of the lines running from near wrist to a couple inches shy of my elbow. It stings like a mother fucker.
I should notify you that I normally sleep almost 8 hours every night just to be tired most times but I haven't slept more than 6 hours since Saturday (five or so days ago) because something unknown spooked my anxiety into a massive high, so I'm not completely rational.
I used an alcohol swab on it (holy ouch) after dabbing it clean a whole bunch, and recently put a thin layer of gauze on top, then wrapped it in athletic tape (no medical tape available).
It has been about an hour and the blood hasn't soaked through the tape (though I doubt I'd see it) but it stings worse on the underside than that time I forgot to wear gloves when chopping two-week-old serrano peppers (had to sleep with my hand in a glass of iced milk).
It normally wouldn't bug me to try and get a wound cleaned but I legit did this all on some stupid impulse I didn't bother to ponder first. Worse is that I might actually have a date tonight and I can't wear my short-sleeve shirts and I'm scared of getting nekkid since she only knows about the last time I did it (she was on her way to and at work when I did it today).
Am I gonna be fine or should I actually look into un-fucking myself?
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>>18094830
>Worse is that I might actually have a date tonight and I can't wear my short-sleeve shirts
you didn't have to worry about having sex anyway.
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>>18095021
I mean, you have a point. But nudity and sex are unrelated in this case.
inb4 I'm getting cucked
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Been dating this girl for about eight months. Just found out about a month into the relationship she was flirting with this girl who tried to hook up with her but my gf declined and allegedly felt bad about it. We're both young and I know commitment shouldn't be a big deal at this age. Conflicted and confused as to what I should do. Help.
Tldr: gf betrayed my trust and idk what to do
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>>18094824
You're an idiot. She didn't do anything
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>>18095680
This. You're upset over nothing.
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how do I make friends in university
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>>18094807
Join clubs you're interested in. Go to areas where people in your major study and get / give help. You can also try joining a frat or sorority.
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>>18094807
Drink water
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What does it mean when my boyfriend has a MP4 file on his laptop that's titled "Asian girl butt crushing rabbit in plastic bag"?
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I wonder.
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Open it
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Have any of you anons got cramps and nausea
After taking this zinc supplement??
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Also vomiting
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>>18094727
Those are the sort of symptoms you'd expect from too much zinc in your system OP.
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>>18094750
Oh thanks anon!
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I GOT GOD DAMN THORNS IN MY HAND AND I CAN'T GET THEM OUT.
So, will my body just push them out (idk if it'll do that, they're in pretty deep) or just dissolve them (i've heard that the body can dissolve foreign objects) or will it just not do anything and just leave the thorns sitting there (like god damn assholes)? Oh and should i just leave them and let my body handle it or should i get them out as quickly as possible?
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Not positive, but I'm pretty sure if you just leave them and they don't dislodge on their own, you might just start slowly growing skin over them and they'll be harder to remove. Your body will just accept it if you can carry on with them stuck there. Kinda depends how deep they are. The inside of your hand can't dissolve material and your body will not forcibly eject them on its own.
My guess would be you should take a pair of sanitary tweezers and try plucking them out, trying not to dig in there and cut up your hand worse, and then apply disinfectant like rubbing alcohol when you're done.
I would tell you to go seek first aid from some kind of medical professional but depending on where you are and if you have insurance, that can get unreasonably expensive for a simple procedure like this.
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>>18094572
What he said, medical student here, get em out.
Bear a little pain and pinch those fuckers out with tweezers. If necessary, slightly incise the skin around. Don't forget to disinfect afterwards and bandage if necessary.
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>>18094651
This. Soak the area in warm water for 10-15 minutes beforehand to soften the skin
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I think I reached the point where I can't play videogames anymore. I tried going through the online store to see if anything would grab my interest but i didn't care for any of them. I didn't care for replaying any of my older games either.
Problem is that I don't know what else to do now. I read but can only do it for so long until my eyes get tired. I went out driving for a little bit just to see if I can come up with anything but nothing.
I don't know what to do for fun anymore on my days off.
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Do you play by yourself? Games are much more fun when played with other people. A lot of gaming is socialization and playing them alone just isn't the same experience.
Why don't you take up a hobby group or try going on meetups?
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>>18094530
Congratulations on getting closer to becoming adult. Now drop games, get gf, job and make a family.
In few months you will be gaming again or you wont even think about it at all!
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Anon are you good at math? I'm terrible at it and I'm so embarrassed. 26yo, god knows how I managed to graduate. Luckily I don't need it much in my line of work but even answering the multiplication table on the fly makes me panic and I can only do it after thinking way too much. How would you even solve this? I can't go back to school with a bunch of kiddies
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>>18094527
Khan academy. Start with the basics, practice regularly. I got up to calculus just for the heck of it. Now i can differentiate, integrate, optimize, and find volumes of rotation like a madman.
Took me about 2 years studying irregularly. I have a career though so there was no rush. I'm kinda over going further, i just wanted to prove to myself i was smart enough to learn calculus
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>>18094527
I'm like you.
And I'm graduating from engineering school but sinc my field doesn't focus on math I forgot all of it soon after I was done with math courses.
It's a matter of practice.
Also being good at calculating doesn't mean you're good with maths, it's a skill in itself that demands practice and memory.
I don't even know my multiplication table and I'm in engineering school( and not a shitty one)
Moved out of my parents house, because I just couldn't handle that shitty environment anymore.
I've been living in this somewhat big city for almost a year now.
However, my life has stagnated, and I don't know what the fuck to do.
When I first got here, I lived off my saving for a month, literally just lurking on fourchins all day, and leaving the house only to buy groceries. Then I applied for a job, started working 3-4 days a week to pay for my small and comfy studio, vidya, and food. This has been going on for a year now, and I'm starting to feel "lost".
It's been a fun ride so far, living the shut-in life, but I started to hunger for more - specifically women.
The issue is that I have no clue where to start. The jobs I had were mostly just physical labour, I never ever talked to anyone, just did my shift and went home to lurk on fourchins. Also, most of the people working there are like 40+ years old, so getting in contact with people at my work place does not seem like a good idea.
There aren't any things that interest me. I've been hitting the pub scene a lot lately, but all I do is sit there, chug beer after beer on my own, and leave. A rather generous dude paid for my drinks one evening, but he wasn't really interested in talking to me. So meeting new folks in pubs was a bust.
How the fuck do I gain a foothold in such a big city?
Where do I start meeting new people?
If at all possible, I wouldn't want to give up the "shut-in" life completely. Having friends over, and getting to do shit on weekends with people would propably be enough to fill my need for companionship.
Getting GF is a different beast, and I'd rather start with small steps.
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>>18094415
Ok how the FUCK did you move from your parents to a big city
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>>18094428
This can't be la or Miami
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>>18094415
Since it's a big city you might want to start attendding cultural events on things that interest you. Then get out of your comfort zone and try talking to someone there. Practicing group sports might also be good to meet new people, as well as entering some class to learn something new on your free time
Anonymous
Need help getting rid of skin redness 2017-03-02 03:34:26 Post No.18094373
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Need help getting rid of skin redness 2017-03-02 03:34:26 Post No.18094373
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Need help getting rid of skin redness
Anonymous
2017-03-02 03:34:26
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I've had some facial redness for at least two years now (when I actually noticed it), and I really want it gone.
It's not due to any skin disease that I know of.
Right now, I'm regularly cleansing my face and applying moisturizer, but it still seems to be the same.
I'm not drinking a lot of water. Do peppermint and green tea count? I don't add anything to them; just plain tea.
I don't go outside a lot either.
My skin is rather fair, so imperfections show up rather easily.
Are there any special products I should use? I really want to have a nice, even complexion. Please give me all the advice, desu~
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Maybe you have lupus
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>>18094373
Google "rosacea" - easily treated with prescription crems.