Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 216. page

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22/M here. How much is physique truly relevant when it comes to dating/sexual prospects with women? I have been focusing on the elements of game, such as voice tonality, social calibration, conversational skills, style & presentation, posture and self-awareness over the past year. I have amassed a handful of social media contacts, numbers and dates from women, but I haven't had much in terms of sexual success. Is my ultra-lean physique really an attraction deterrent at play here? I have been ostrovegan for 6 months now, which has resulted in clearer, defined facial features, but minimal body fat.

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This summer I finally decided to try online dating.

I did meet a few guys I actually liked, and it wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be.
I went out with 7 guys, and 5 of them became very clingy, invested emotionally and attached after just a couple of days. They wanted things to be a lot more serious than I was comfortable with.

Is it normal? Do people normally get emotions involved that rapidly? Am I doing something wrong?

The most extreme example would be a guy telling me he'd marry me after 4 dates, or guys doing extremely nice gestures for me after just one date (one brought me flowers on our 2nd date, one made me a playlist for our first date because I mentioned I was curious about a band), or telling me they want to be my boyfriend after just a couple of dates.

>inb4 you only want to date jerks
I don't. I appreciated the niceness. It was just overwhelming.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships, fart guy and the guy who stuffs his pants
Fuck off

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Yo /adv/, so I am retarded and got a one night stand pregnant, apparently. What do I do from here?

Morally I am against abortion for my own genetics. Don't care what anyone else does with their bodies but the idea of my own genetics being aborted terrifies me. Happy for this view to be changed.

The girl doesn't know my last name, where I live, or anything about me. I could ghost her...

The story is this... Met a random off of Okcupid, went to the museum with her, headed into the city, bought Jenga, got drunk, fucked without a condom on top of a carpark (didn't nut in her), and yeahhh. Texted her a bit over a week after the event to ask if she had an STI because I was freaking and she sprung this on me.

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Im an incredibly lonely person, always waited on here to help whenever someone needed advice or personal help or something to talk out like human beings but havent been seeing what im looking for latetly.

A cross internet interaction is something i miss, online friends, digital heartfelt talks about stupid random shit. If someone wants to just talk for a few minutes im down, if not. i understand.

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24/M here
So I've had sex once. Never had a partner or anything.
I'm super attracted to my best friend and asked her out. Long story short, she said something will happen if I wait, but that it'll be a long time. A few weeks later I told her I'd wait for as long as I have to. That was a few weeks back and wow, I regret saying I'd wait.

My sex drive has shot up higher than NK over the last month. I've just been horny all the damn time, mating season or something.
What the fuck do I do?

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I have a girl problem, /adv/. Essentially I have few friends left who live anywhere near me, I want my ex back and at the same time I still feel a lot of anger and frustration towards her.

>cheated then tried to kill herself
>broke up with me
>an emotional, anxious mess who can barely take care of herself
>excels in college but lacks common sense entirely

There's a whole bunch of shit basically and as a person I really like her, but essentially over the years small things and big things alike piled up since she's effectively incapable of communicating normally. I'm normally very patient, very kind and coolheaded and engaged with people, but it's at the point where I feel lonely as fuck but still avoid her and get short with her. She depends on me for most things. Appointments, trips places, help with schoolwork and she has feelings for me and loves me, I could probably get into a position to date her again as shes currently in a relationship with someone emotionally unstable and extremely sensitive that she has a falling out with practically weekly, and every time she stays with me she treads the careful line of cheating. I don't even know why I would get back together with her. She was a shitty girlfriend and she's not even a great friend. Id spend half my paycheck and dump dozens of hours into her and I asked for help on one car repair and she says she has to support me. Literally 1/3rd the repair cost, and I've paid her back most of it already.

But I'm so fucking lonely, I have no other friends now as they've all moved or she had felt jealous and ran them out, my town is a dump. I wish I could just put all the negativity and anger away and act like I've just met her for the first time.

Any advice?

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need advice on how to approach girls.

do I say something funny?
do pick up lines work?
does dm'ing work?

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So my girlfriend will have a birthday in two months and I was thinking of travelling somewhere together as a surprise gift. What would be good places to go to on the ~23rd of October? Would a budget of 2000 eur be enough? for two people? Or do I need to get more? I'm from northern Europe. Ideally, I'd go somewhere where it's still warm, if there's a beach that's a plus.

And should I tell her my plans to think of place to go together or should I keep it as a surprise and just give her ticket a couple of days prior?

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I'm moving out of my parents house soon, to a new state, far away, going to be renting a room.

I can't take my cat, my dad doesn't want him. My mom isn't around. Hes about 7 years old.

Iv'e thought about just giving him a quick, painless death instead of giving him to someone I don't know and them maybe torturing him or him suffering. Being a stray after being an indoor cat, dying frightened and alone instead of with me. Is this an ok thing to do?

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I was over at my mom's house and she found out on the phone that her friend, who has had cancer for a long time, is now cancer-free. She came and told me the news all excited, then promptly become offended because, in her words, I "wasn't reacting." She said I just stared at her blankly and said "oh that's great" in a robotic way. She now says she feels bad instead of good since I "ruined the moment" and accuses me of being displeased that she was happy. She has accused me of being "zombie-like" or robotic many times before, and always takes offense to it, as if I am deliberately acting that way toward her. That's not true at all, though she doesn't believe me when I tell her that.
I've been accused of being unemotional and "robotic" by other people before. I also haven't had friends or a social life for years now. I'm 27.
I actually can be very emotional but only when I'm alone, and usually about weird, eccentric stuff. Like tragic anime. Or airplane crashes. Or thinking about soldiers dying in war.
I'm generally satisfied with life on my own terms, but obviously this emotion stuff gives me difficulty with other people, like my mom. Wat do.

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Pic related. Is me.

I dont get whats wrong with me.

Lately I've been going through some shit. Partner and I of 4 years are splitting up, tons of entanglement. Jobs extremely unstable and it feels as though the company is falling apart and I"m a contributor. Unsure of where I am about to live, or how I'm going to afford it or move any of my shit.

On the flip side, recently I have been to places and events that have made me experience a level of happiness and love and appreciation for the universe I never would have imagined possible 10 years ago. In that moment I try to let my happiness out, to let my sexy a f ear to ear grin come out, but all I feel is an overpowering and unrelenting sadness. I want to cry, to release all my unwanted baggage, to finally let to rest mistakes from my past, but I cannot.

I end up thinking "Everyone around me is happy, I can't be sad. These people don't want that. I don't want to be seen like that. I have seen endless pictures of myself and endless reflections of a broken man. I want to show the world that happy version of me" and I run. I clam the fuck up an I run.

I used to be the little bitch that would go to social events and bitch about their problems for attention. Now I hate that, and I removed all my friends so I could have a restart with a new outlook. However, now I feel like I'm just going to bitch about my problems to strangers and thats an even harder reality to accept, and now I actually need help.

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Do you think it's possible for anyone to learn math? I finished high school without math and went straight to a fulltime job. Now I'm 27 and I've decided I want to go to university but I need to brush up on my basic native/english grammer and obviously math first. Some people have told me math requires a teacher in order to understand but I'd like to try it myself. Don't have the time/money for a teacher at this moment.

Another thing I've heard/read is that some people just are better at calculus/math naturally. Now I'm afraid I'm not one of those people. Take my father for example; he sees a calculation and within a split second he knows the answer. And he was like this as a kid. When I see the same calculation it takes me like 30 seconds or longer depending on the difficulty.

I'm from europe so sorry If my english is not that great. I hope my overall question is clear.

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Why is every girl I try to get with so fucking prude? This is the formula to almost all of my dates: me and a girl will go to dinner, the park, downtown etc. and have a good time. We will go back to my car or apartment (I have roomies) and almost always passionately make out. BUT, every time I try to physically or verbally initiate them to go any farther, they brush the idea off, we make out some more and they leave. Then they'll ask to make fun plans again in a few days. This EXACT pattern has happened with several different girls in the past 2 years of trying to lose my virginity. I'm not ugly, but I'm definitely not sexy. I'm a little overweight (not anything crazy) and am always being called cute by girls. They see me as some kind of chill, huggable, fun guy and not as someone to fuck. All the anons on here talk about their promiscuous sexual experiences and I think I'm more than capable, but all the girls I've met are just not about it.

Besides trying to be more alpha, how do I fix?

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A couple days ago I came inside my gf even though she told me to stop. It was early in the morning and I was barely awake (not an excuse I know).

Our relationship has changed compleatly after this event. We still hang out and sleep in the same bed but no kissing (on mouth) and no sex. She doesn't know when if ever she will be able to have sex with me again.
She says she cant see me in the same way again.

/adv/, i dont want my relationship of 1 year (longest for me) to fuck up because of my stupid dumb retarded disgusting mistake. Before this everything was looking up, we were looking for an apartment together etc.

What do I do? Should I just give her time? It was really recent so maybe things will be better in like a week?