Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1986. page

If you they have you carry a firearm, then you are more than likely the primary target in a robbery. If I was you, I would learn how to speed draw as well as get some handgun training by a professional

>>18189956
>If you they have you carry a firearm
Training for that right now, so yes, I will be eventually.

>I would learn how to speed draw as well as get some handgun training by a professional
Yup, getting that right now, as said, It's just often said that any dangerous encounter starting inside of 10 feet or so will happen too fast for you to draw your gun, so learning some hand to hand seems wise.

I would be leery of brazilian jiu jitsu as it has basically become a meme, being adopted by every dudebro and every wannabe bodybuilder and any guy with visible abs. Boxing would probably be good, but honestly good old karate would be my top recommendation. Yeah I know karate is the stereotypical martial art and doesn't seem original enough, but there's a reason it's the first thing people think of when they think "martial arts"

> But then as she was about to go down on me she suddenly said "I'm not a whore or anything."

Can you explain a bit more about why you thought this was a red flag? I mean, the later behavior definitely shows she's undateable, but why did this tip you off?

>>18189944
It's hard to explain but I guess basically, by saying that, she clearly demonstrated that she has some unhealthy conceptions about sex, like she felt self-conscious and afraid that she was being judged for having sex, and maybe even guilty. And any time a girl has negative feelings surrounding sex, there's a risk she will take the easiest path to rid herself of the guilt: She will blame the guy, often with a false rape accusation. That way she can convince herself "I'm not a whore, that guy was just TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME!!!"

I'm kind of hoping to put this to rest tonight. I should mention that all of our conversations since our dates have been via text message. So I have yet to reply to her messages about how "we'll be together somday"

Please

We got this anon. What happened

>>18189932
What drug?

You arr pretty correct I think, have come to the same conclusion myself.

It sucks, but if you are able to get fit thinks will get better(been trying for 5 years myself, 20 kg down, but still 25 to go, keeps going up and down )

Boyd thrumps face, so getting fit will be better in any case.

>>18189935

>body trumps face

Maybe if you are trying to be fucked by men thats true.

>>18189935
From what i've seen face is a little more then body, but I know for a guy one thing that is universal are muscles so I am working on that.

>I told her everything on my mind
>Told her it felt like she just shoved away all my problems like they were nothing, that my feelings aren't that important
>She doesn't get the point
>''Well sorry for asking you to go drinking with me and bestie?''
>''Why do you bring this up now, I thought we talked about this earlier?''
>I tell her she knows what kind of person I am while talking face to face, that im having problems conveying my true feelings to somebody
>''So you just lied to me yesterday''
>No I wasn't?
>It's just that you don't think it's too big of a deal and completely forget the issues im having
>''Because you're the one making it seem like there is nothing more going on''

Okay I understand that part, I can pretend like it's all cool pretty fucking good, which is not good at all.

>''You're trying to shove al the problems to me''
>''That's just the way he is and I'm fine with it''
>''We don't mean anything when we do the things we do''
>''He wishes the best for our relationship and he lets me know it a alot''
>''You're the one who's having problems, not me, so you should talk to him about it, not with me. What do you want me to do?''
>I tell her I need her support, I want her to understand me
>''We already adapted a lot incase you haven't noticed''

Background story: I've known a girl my whole life before I met my gf and we were also really good friends, but she saw me as a brother so I kinda deleted her out of my life for my gf because it didn't felt right to even talk to her.

>''I have the feeling that I cant do anything with him anymore because it makes you jealous''
>Im not jealous
>The only thing bothering me is him still liking you and you being the only one not seeing this
>''I just cant believe it, He doesnt like me, he told me that''
>Talk about my previous crush
>She doesnt believe I dont have any lingering feelings for me
>''I just cant believe you for that''
>So the same counts for him?
>''Uhm.. Yeah I guess''

>She finally gets me
>But still thinks it's something I should be talking to him about and that there's not much what she can do about it because I'm the one having the problems with him
>She's kinda right, but still feels like she doesn't have my back for a 100%
>''So im not even allowed to touch him''
>Im not that dramatic, you're still not getting me
>''If things go too far, what I see as a joke and just let go.. you get annoyed by it, so just speak up to him''
>I tell her al the ''jokes'' he's been saying like ''Im touching your gf''
>''But thats just a joke..''
>Well it wouldnt annoy me if I never knew he liked you
>''He USED TO like me''
>His actions dont match up to his words
>''Thats just him being himself''
>''What do you want from me''
>I want to you stand behind me on this, because its not a you or a me, it's us.
>We have a longer talk about him being her bestie and not mine, that she's only repeating one problem I pointed at about him touching her back, making me seem all over dramatic.
>It's not just about that
>So it comes to the conclusion that you wont change no matter how I feel about it?
>That's where this converation is going to right?
>She explains that's not what she meant but it feels like it's suddenly all her fault
>I tell her she definitely plays a role in it
>I tell her that even when I go talk to him, he can just point at her saying she's all cool with it, leaving me standing there like im nothing
>It feels like you're thinking of me like shit
>She explains I mean a lot to her, saying things like ''Wtf no, ofcourse this isn't good, I do care about how you feel''
>Gf takes car of parents and visits me'
>We talk about it all, I threw in your previous advice
>Only thing left is talking to him.
>We have sex in the car before she left
>We feel closer

How am I going so far /adv/ Am I letting her walk over me or?

>>18189930
>its not a you or a me, it's us
I'm nearly 30 and have been in a few relationships. If I ever have to say this to a girl, the relationship is already close to ending. Any girl who needs this to be told to them is too immature to be in a relationship, which it sounds like your gf is. It's like helping the idiot in class cheat on a test. You can say this to them, but they just aren't going REALLY to get it, will continue being an idiot, and will just fail at the next thing in life.

Almost sounds like she banged you to give you false reassurance. I mean seriously, how did this argument really need to happen? Your points, your requests are so straight forward and fair. The fact there was any resistance on this is a huge red flag. Sounds like she just got tired of arguing because she knew your stance was firm, so didn't submit to your requests but banged you to make you think she's "yours". She's still making you deal with it instead of taking accountability and telling another man not to touch all over her.

>>18189869
You fucked yourself by starting it retard. They went way overboard and they will probably get fucked for that because physical violence is not considered acceptable in defense of purely property. You might be able to get them to go to juvie but they also might get off with a slap on the wrist since you, the adult, started it by just taking their skateboard.

Never start what you can't finish retard. Still, it sound severe enough that it might be worth going to the cops since what you did is very very minor compared to what they did.

>>18189900
That's what I thought unfortunately. Is there a chance than they can spin it so I'm the culprit? I don't think I trust the justice system enough to go to the police.

I never meant to start a fight. I was just angry and wasn't thinking straight.

>>18189916
can you get a way more expensive lawyer and put in a few tens of grands?

if yes, go for it
if no, well you know the answer.

>>18189842
They're digital.

Sell anything that doesn't have sentimental value, or if your trying to get away from vidya sell it all.

I decided to sell $1000 worth of CSGO knives and skins about a year ago, best fucking decision ever. Bought a new GPU and car parts. Don't miss them at all.

>>18189838
I don't really know. Positive reinforcement is always nice. "I love how you eat my pussy" would be something nice to hear. I rather rim a girl than lick her pussy desu.

>>18189879
He just doesn't even touch me in the first place. What is there to reinforce if he doesn't do anything...

My sex drive is dropping so hard. Because I already know what he's going to ask for and what he's not going to do...

>>18189838
You two are not sexually compatable with each other.

I usually take the guys side because women are overentitled and their expctations are usually far out of line with reality, but this one really doesn't sound like your fault - unless you are leaving something out. Have you brought up to him that you like it when he fingers you and wish he would do it more?

How much do you weigh? How often do you eat junk food? Being fat makes your pussy naturally smell worse, so does what you eat. Garbage in, garbage out. Vegans/vegetarians have best tasting pussies.

>>18189833
Nigga, could this be any more bait?
Colour me impressed.

>>18189833
Why just girls? Looks like you are scared to create a family. So just fuck a tranny and you will have everything

>>18189833
I, too, have had no examples of functioning intimate relationships.

The ones that were functional, were functional for other reasons. My grandparents have been married for 50 years, but they both cheated and only got back together because my grandma is only a housewife and needed him for support.

When I was a teen my grandpa cheated on her again with a woman younger than my mom, and my grandma basically just looked the other way until it was over, as they were in their 70s and whats the point in divorcing then?


I've basically handled it by recognizing how everything in their relationships fell apart and just striving to not do that. Even then, I have a wall, and I really don't want to get married. It's not a priority and I wouldn't be surprised if I get a divorce some point later. My goal before all of that though, is, as a woman, to be financially independent. So I don't have to be stuck like my grandma, or completely lost in financial struggle like my mom is.

My point is: don't make marriage a priority, make other parts of your life a priority. Think of marriage as just a side possibility, not what you're living for.

>>18189827
>>18189827
That which is gone can never return. She was just your turn. Never forget that.

theres a reason why women are incapable of having best friends like guys do. Most women love opportunistically, and she obviously found a better opportunity elsewhere: taller, better looking, more money, etc. She doubtless thinks she's falling in love with that new fellow even as we speak. It's just the default programming that most women tend to follow, especially ones that look like her. Do not take it personally, it's pretty much expected behavior for them, and it's a biological strategy that works very well.

Pick up a hobby, hang out with your friends. The only way to replace her is by having a better love story than you did with her.

>>18189827
dating someone doesn't mean she's over you. she probably won't be until you are. rule of thumb is it takes about half the time as the relationship to get over it. meanwhile just fake it and date who you can.

>>18189827
Both my exes started dated like after a week or two, you kind of left an impression on her.

Theres money in it,but never mind that.

Do you see yourself learning multiple tideous languages, sitting infront of a computer for many many hours?

>>18189791
>sitting infront of a computer for many many hours?
Isnt that basically what we're all doing now anyway?
I mean ive always liked computers and I have no other ideas what to major in so it seemed like a good fit.

There is actually some pretty good money in cybersecurity if that's your thing.

you don't, you call your bank, they're the one's you pay to put up with your dumb bullshit

File: cookie.jpg (36KB, 615x461px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 615x461px

It will cost you both more in time than it is worth. As karmic compensation for your loss I award you one digital cookie.

>>18189777
You should have just taken something worth the money from the shelve.

>>18189702

No. It means they liked what you posted.

you decide reality for yourself

No. There's a guy I accidently friended and then I found out he's the same dude that actually banned me from a club for no reason. Still, I like his posts what's a muthafucka gonna do?

>>18189671
Teach her how to do sex properly. If she won't listen she's not that great anyway.

>>18189671
>sex is bad

One year and you haven't worked out this yet? Improving sex life is one of the simplest things to "fix" in a relationship. How is it bad and why do you view it as an unsolvable issue?

>>18189682
This. Your sex is bad because not only is there no honest communication (who doesn't like talking about sex and what makes them feel good?) but you're also not taking charge and making her make you feel good, and if you're a sissy tell her. I love my girl rubbing my butt like I am a girl or some shit.

By the way I was still offered the job, she just didn't seem thrilled

>>18189654

You're not getting hired, soo too late to worry. Why would they hire someone who turns up and basically says "I want this job, but I won't necessarily be available when you need me"? There are other people who need the job too and will get it done too.

>>18189654
If you get the job just work your ass off make them feel they made a good choice