Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1914. page

Sorry to be the one to bring bad news, but when people get like this, it's almost impossible for someone else to pull them out of it. They have to want to change by themselves.
You can try to make him see how you see it, but there's no guarantee.

>>18218137
I miss him so much...i feel like im living with a stranger. He has just gotten so bad. For example:

>for a few months his tooth has been hurting
>but hasnt gone to dentist despite being fully covered
>few days ago tooth cracked in half
>inside is black
>he is mortified and super upset
>but does nothing to fix it
>just now has half a tooth in his mouth he ignores
>back to hours of gaming

He has depression for sure...but he just wont do a damn thing about it. Like he doesnt even care.

>>18218148
I've never had a sexual relationship. I've dealt with shitty people all my life, they're weights that try to drown you. Usually they want to drown, you could hold the, down under the water to ease the suffering. But that's a tad extreme, anyway femanom to summarize, if he can't change fuck him, he may not be strong enough or smart enough. Cut you losses

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>>18218031
Bruh.

Being emotional is not an effeminate thing, it's a human thing. Not sure why people subscribe to the "men get over it!" meme. Difference is men just hide it.

If you really believe you are low-t, see a doctor, A DIFFERENT DOCTOR, MAYBE, this is an easy problem to fix.

If your natural behaviour is to be cowardly, then try and do things that scare the shit out of you. Once I started roofing work, solely to get over my fear of heights, I found myself being far more confident and brave than before. (do not mix bravery with stupidity.)

Agreeability and empathy, are again, human traits. It's mostly a meme that men are stubborn and disagreeable. Not sure why people still believe this.

Do you even have the source for this chart?

Also, your age could play into this. How old are you?

Can you define neurotic?

>>18218031

>which i absolutely hate

on the contrary, you like it, you just hate how people view it.

>how to be more masculine

define masculinity. so far you've defined it as the opposite of
>neurotic
>empathetic
>Agreeable
>cowardly

but i think you're wrong. when 'masculine' men are neurotic we just call them agressive, angry, still manly. plenty of masculine men are empathetic, a lack of empathy doesn't make you masculine, it literally makes you a sociopath. Masculine men can be 'agreeable' depending on what you mean by that.

the only one you really hit on the head is 'cowardly' and thats not even a feminine trait, thats just a weak trait, women are mocked for being cowardly just to a lesser / different degree.

what do you do that is cowardly? at the end of the day being brave doesn't mean a lack of fear, it simply means facing your fears anyway.

masculinity has no real definition. it changes across time and place, from town to town, family to family. Blue collar workers often consider themselves to be more manly than white collar workers since they work with their hands and do work that really exercises them. And white collar men consider themselves more msculine because they ultimately control the blue collar men and out rank them.

for the most part the word 'masculinity' and other similar words / phrases (like 'real man') are simply used by people who have no real interest in masculinity, but rather an interest in controlling others.

examples in next post.

>>18218058

a woman can say 'a real man wouldn't do this' because she knows you will stop doing it to seem like a 'real man'. the issue had nothing to do with masculinity, just what the female wanted from you. as a result you will get a lot of people claiming two opposing and contradictory things are masculine, some claiming 'a real man would step up and fight' becuase he simply wants to bait someone in to fighting him. another saying 'a real man would use his words' simply because he wants to seem better than someone who was naturally more violent.

similarly one half of the government might claim 'a real man would defend his country' whereas the other half might say 'a real man would question the system'.

in some cultures beards are considered masculine. in others they are actually considered to be more of a 'gay' quality believe it or not.

ultimately there is no definition of masculinity that has persisted throughout any culture, time, or family. it is ever changing to suit the needs of the people.

instead of asking your self how to be a more masculine man, why not just aks your self how to be a better and/or stronger person?

because at the end of the day the only thing that could be said to be agreed upon throughout most cultures and times and places is that a real man doesn't spend his time worrying what others think of him, but rather does what he wants.

I agree that there's no 'perfect' relationship, but I'm super happy with mine. No major complaints, and I don't have a large number of minor ones.

>>18217989

we all do. at first.

but you end up breaking up for a reason, so for at least one of you, its not perfect.

at first you are just so excited about the concept of love that not much else matters. but the problem wti hromance is that we treat is as the most important thing, so when we are suddenly spending the majority of our spare time with someone who is fundamentally different from us (like a woman is to a man) we find our selves frustrated and can't seem to understand why its so hard to spend time with a girl who all you can do is watch TV with and not with your pals who engage in all your different activities with you.

TL;DR it feels perfect in honeymoon phases mostly. beyond that theres moments of bliss but relationships are not perfect.

romance has never been about finding the perfect relationship, thats a modern fairytale. there is a reason our marriage vows say 'for better or for worse'.

>>18217989
Honestly I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship. There was a few issues but we sorted through them.
I feel like they are "the one", or my soul mate.

>>18217928
Micro is ok
Org Chem is the fucking shit show
Get read for that

Have you memorized the Krebs Cycle? Then you're ready for micro

>>18217960
Jesus. Whats in store for me? All STEM majors have to take Organic Chem 1+2.

Had to comment that I like confused Cure Peach

>>18217839
She just wants an excuse to fuck other men and then come crawling back to you once she's all used up. I'd block her from all social media accounts and ignore her.

>>18217892
I'm not going get back with her
Hard enough from other friends and anons here that i deserve better

Would rather just stay friends with get if anything, i don't care who she fucks

>>18217909
Heard* not hard
her* not get
>inb4 fucking phone poster
I know sorry, should've proof read

>>18217769
The next week my friend and I decided to take a spontaneous road-trip halfway across the country and since we were both single; we hit up some clubs and hooked up with a few guys. To this day I still don't know if this guy is a mind reader or what, but when we got back and were hanging out one day after he'd made me dinner. He asked about my trip and about the small tattoo that I'd gotten on my arm. His exact words were "Did you have a wild time?" I didn't tell him anything about the guys I slept with and neither did my friend. But I could see it in his eyes. I'll admit again that I have a drinking problem and find it hard to talk about my feelings or act on them without alcohol. We'd talked about this before and he tried to talk about us one day, but I told him that I was drunk and couldn't do it at the time. He was disappointed but we kept talking and hanging out. Then come January, he came to me at work and told me that he wanted to talk to me about something. We went out for drinks and I could tell that he was a bit down and asked what was wrong. He told me that he wasn't ready to talk about it, but that he hated what was going on and that he was trying to get over it. We left together holding hands after he reassured me that it wasn't about me and that "we" were fine. Then the next three weeks we didn't really talk much and I texted him a couple times asking if he was fine, to which he did respond but usually with one word replies. One day we had a huge snowstorm and something went wrong with my car, all the tires went flat and the lights on my dash were on. I called him when I saw this(He'd worked on my car a few times) when I was done work around 2 in the morning, he came over to the alley I was stuck in, dropped me off home and went back to work on it. The next day he dropped it off for me and had fixed everything, I was really happy and thanked him. Then I saw him at work a few times and he seemed really upset and not at all happy.

>>18217772
Then the day of his birthday, I wished him a happy birthday as he was leaving work and he just looked at me, smiled and said thank you. I didn't know what was going on and he wasn't telling me anything. I knew he sometimes struggled talking about serious problems, but I felt lonely and that he didn't care about me. That night I went out with my girlfriends to a local bar and we got drunk. This guy I'd been talking too worked there and I don't know...we just hooked up. The next morning I felt guilty and didn't know what to do. But I didn't want to seem like a bitch to the guy I'd just slept with and when he asked me out on a date, I agreed. Then come Valentines day, the guy I'd been talking to the past few months called me and asked what my plans were. I told him that I was going on a date with the new guy, and I could tell that I took the wind out of him. The next day at work I saw him and he gave me the dinner he'd made of lobster, steak and stuff and told me that he'd already had the dinner made when he'd called, and that I might as well have it. I accepted it and ate it. But he seemed very quiet and later came to the bar where I work that night and ordered 8 shots from me before leaving. I'd never seen him like this and was a little worried because he doesn't even drink. Two of his friends chased after him and I texted him asking what had gotten into him after work. He told me we needed to talk and came over to my place. We talked and I told him that he hadn't been talking to me or anyone in our friends group, and so I took it as him not being interested. He cried and told me that we'd made out in December and that he'd told me he wanted to be with me, but just needed time. And that when he came to me in January and told me he was going through heavy things and was withdrawn, it was because two of his siblings had tried to commit suicide and his parents divorced.

>>18217775
I honestly didn't remember those things at the time, and seriously fucked up when after he told me that, I said that I didn't remember and had been drunk. He just looked at me silently and then asked if I were serious with my new bf. I told him that he was very good to me and that I was sorry. He then brought out a laptop that I'd broken months ago that he'd promised to fix, placed it on the table and asked me if I remembered about the laptop. I didn't know what to say, I'd honestly forgotten. He cried, I cried and he got up and wished me well and that he was sorry for having failed me. He didn't even bother to put his shoes on before leaving. My boyfriend came over after and I cleaned myself up so as to now show him anything was wrong.

>nursing assistant
>still going to school
For what?

>dementia patient
Yeah, that sucks. You went into a field where you're going to scrub people's asses for a living.

Nursing is stressful, what did you expect?

Try being an RN in an ER some time, not enough time to get your work done and meanwhile ambulances keep bringing in more patients, everyone is yelling and angry all the time.

As for the hospital job apply and let them know about your school, worst case scenario they say no and you've lost nothing compared to where you are now

>>18217771
Not op, but CNA is pretty low on the totem pole, there's plenty of reasons to go to school after that.

>>18217739
Also I'm very fortunate to be graduating with no debt if that changes anything. Thanks dead uncle, really took one for the team.

>>18217739

Corvallis sucks, bruh.

Many people have several careers over their lifetime.

I don't know about that particular career, but just remember you aren't stuck with it forever. I know that isn't useful, but a lot of young people feel like everything is set in stone after college and that just isn't true.

Do you actually keep a list of all your sex partners, do you just keep track of the number (example: 19) or neither? State your gender.

>>18217734
Guy here
Pretty easy to keep track of one person mentally

>>18217734
Girl here. Same as >>18217753.

At the risk of starting an argument, I really hope you don't think 19 is a common number of sexual partners for a person to have. I will also say that I suspect that someone who has had that many sexual partners is not keeping track of names, sex doesn't mean anything to them for them to care enough to do so.

Start asking. You think the problem is you don't know women. That isn't the problem.

Start asking women out. Actually join a dating site. Just do it, everyone there is looking for someone too. It isn't weird.

Full disclosure: I've only ever gone out with one person once from a dating site and we didn't hit it off, but that's one more than I've gone out with ever.

>>18217673
I've tried dating sites before, always got blown off at the end or never received a reply.

>>18217680
Which sites for how long? How many people did you interact with?

I like this website because you can be as honest as you want. I'm a bleeding heart libcuck but it's still a fucking minefield to express your opinion anywhere outside of this website.

I've been banned in forums/chatrooms for paying too much attention to a friendzoned admin's love interest. I've been banned for not paying ENOUGH attention to said websluts. I've been banned for liking a video game that an admin didn't like. There's no limit to the bullshit hoops you have to jump through to be a part of some fedoras clique. I'm done with that shit.

>>18217629
I come here on and off. Mostly when im bored.

Ive been on a lot in the last 4 months because i work far away from home and i work every day so i have no life right now.

When i go home to the wife n dogs im not here.

>will you ever leave

In truth probably not. 10 years on and off.
Even though ive seen every thread 900 times, and the early 20 somethings all ask the exact same questions every night i used to ask or try to answer when they were 13.

Just an endless loop here. But still i come.

>>18217629

I haven't been on 4chan since 2007 and think it's gonna stay that way. All this cancer is killing me. Plus what the fuck is with all these lame ass captcha.

>Yet the symptoms involve more than simply being shy or socially awkward.
I bet you just glossed over this part. Literally everyone is afraid of interacting with strangers. Just because you're a 19 year old virgin doesn't mean your brain is ruined forever.

Non-shitpost answer: Look into self hypnosis. Also, breathing techniques to overcome anxiety.

>>18217606
>>18217615
I am a 30 year old virgin who wo has never asked a woman on a date before.

How many 19 year olds do you know work in a steel mill?

First, don't panic. It's all in the little steps. Have you ever tried reading a book aloud specifically where the characters have conversations? It well actually help you develop responses to some people when they talk to you and you won't suddenly hit a stand still for lack of conversation or panicking over what to say.

Another secure way of overcoming social anxiety is just asking people how their day is and when they ask you how your day is just tell them how it is (safer to start with people you know). BE AS BRIEF AS POSSIBLE in the beginning until you are comfortable extending conversations. Eventually, those little talks and questions develop into full conversations and you can translate that into talking to complete strangers. It took patience on my part but it will help you out a lot in the end.

Good luck everyone eventually overcomes social hurdles it's up to you to decide when you will overcome yours.

T. ex-introvert

Kek I would never go home with a dude who still lives with his parents. Shits too weird and I could do without the stress of fearing them walking in on us or hearing us, or even seeing my walk of shame out the door.

Move out, that's your solution.

>>18217467
For people without wealthy parents its pretty fucking unrealistic to have your own place at 19 with the housing market being what it is and wages being what they are.

Living at home at 19, and really most of your 20's is pretty normal these days.

Just take her to the basement OP, and dont worry about what your parents say too much, they might suprise you by being mature about it.

>>18217467
I live in Stockholm, everyone lives at home for quite a while here, it's just way too expensive. The only people younger than say ~23 I know that have moved out are spoiled brats with daddys credit card. Any normal person lives at home through college.

>>18217484
This guy gets it. No basement though , but yeah maybe I'll try something. I have these expectations of my mom just from how she is otherwise, but maybe, hopefully, she'll just fuck off if she sees a sock on the doorknob or something

Threesomes. Do threesomes.

>>18217172
Same boat man. Like my gf is very attractive but shes just not that good of a Fuck compared to what ive had. In fact she rates low on sex skills in comparison to other partners.. 4 years now, and every instinct i have is saying cheat.

Im not going to, hell ive been away from home for work most of the time the last 4 months and still havent.

But its just a shitty hand of being human.

Youll have feels you dont want. Just put it on the scale of whats more important. Shes also my best friend and its not worth it

>>18217176
Why? That doesn't really sound like a good idea.

>>18217187
Fuck, I'm glad I'm not the only one. My lusty feelings says "cheat", my love for her and my brain say "don't ever cheat". I guess that's where I have to prove that I have moral grounds.

Good luck m8.

>>18217088
I feel you, that is how modern life is designed

>>18217088
At least you are banging

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Get some friends, try to start a casual relationship with someone off of tinder.

Get into DIY projects.

Find a hobby. What are things you like doing? If nothing, attend local painting classes. If nothing comes of that, at least you tried something new.

Play a casual sport. Golf, tennis. Things that are easy to get into that you can do alone.

Try writing creatively. Poems, stories, whatever you want to do.

If you're close with your family, plan a visit to them sometime.

Personally I like working on my car, and writing.
Getting into the arts is a very intensive and enjoyable task- I highly recommend it for boredom.

There's a whole lot I don't have listed here. If none of these things interest you, let me know, and I can post more.