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Is there some scientific explanation as to why people have certain fetishes? Things like bondage, masks, veils, blindfolds or feet do it for me, but I've always wondered what it is about these things that excites me so much.

Anybody who understands this stuff know why it's so hot?
23 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>18228687
The classic Freudian explanation would be that some event in your very early childhood - say, sitting near a babysitter's feet while being especially happy - fixated you on that fetish, with future sexual experiences being attempts to recreate that first pure joy.

But what did Freud know?
>>
My earliest memory of anything about feet is from cartoons in which evil, powerful and clearly sexually drawn women were usually barefoot. I don't know if there's any correlation, but there's that.
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like the other guy said, subtle things like that. most people who have some sort of sexual experience at an early age either detest that type of sexual experience or indulge in it far too much.

when i was 4 my older brother made me rub and kiss his ass. now my obsession is eating ass. however when i was younger it was very submissive, and now that im older, i fixate on being dominant while doing it, probably to compensate for that.

but some things are just gonna be weird. bondage could be as simple as wanting to be in control, which can stem fro msomething as simple as being a rebellious kid and not liking the restrictions you had. masks, veils, blindfolds might be your own insecurity. i dont like when someone sucking my dick looks me in the eyes for instance, so a blind fold arouses me cuz i feel like i can be as ugly as i want perhaps.

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My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage alot more recently. We have been dating for about 3 years, but are still young so there is no need to rush.

Yesterday, we were having a skype call and he brought up his fetish. How he usually only gets the urge when I'm with him and how he wants me to participate more. His fetish is wearing diapers. He is not an adult-baby, but likes to be teased when he pisses himself or enjoys chilling out/playing videogames in them.

I have been up and down about whether I'm ok with this or not. Whenever I participate it's usually gift or I feel guilty or I pity him. In our conversation, he stated he wanted me to be 100% good with it. Not into it, but non-judgmental or grossed out.

This is the problem. I am grossed out. Whenever he talks about it I get nervous, jealous, insecure, or judgmental. This is something he won't grow out of (he is 25).

For the upcoming year we are going to be in an LDR so I won't really have to worry about his fetish. Of course, when I see him he will want to do it, but not the whole time we are together. By next May he will be coming down to live with me, and possibly in the next two years he will propose.

I feel like I need some time to think about this, but not talking to him will ruin my week. Even if I decided that I could handle his fetish or become less judgmental it won't matter until next year.

I was thinking maybe I should tell him that I can't change that part of me? He will have to deal with my occasionally judgments or disgust or my occasionally openness with it. I can't be cool with everything he does.

Should I tell him I can't change this part about me? Should I ask him for sometime to think or forget about this? My most important question is: How do I just be ok with our position now?
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>pisses himself
why do you mention it like it's a normal thing?
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Just tell him you aren't comfortable duh
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>>18228691
Of course, it isn't, but it is for him.

>>18228692
I have. He wants me to be comfortable (at least neutral) with it, because they are heading toward marriage. I totally understand if something was that important to me I would want my lover to be ok with it if we might get married.

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what are some essentials to living on your own. material wise

i mean things like toilet paper, silver ware and dishes. i'm moving out this summer and i need to complete my list
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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what's your lifestyle like? do you cook? can you do laundry? what you need depends on what you do
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>>18228588
very minimalist. yes i can cook and do laundry. i really dont need things like a TV or whatever

i mostly just work, work out, and hang out on the computer
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>>18228656
kitchen:
-frying pan
-large pot
-wooden spoon and/or spatula
-cutting board
-sharp knife
-set/4 knife, spoon, fork (less if you don't have people over)
-spices
-cooking oil (at least olive and canola)
-strainer
-dish towels

cleaning:
-paper towels, toilet paper
-sponges
-dish soap, hand soap
-bathroom cleaner spray
-toilet brush
-mop and/or broom, maybe swiffer
-canned air (to clean computer)

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>Gf of 3 years broke up with me at the start of the month
>She didn't love me anymore
>A few weeks ago told me one of her colleague was talking to her, but she only saw him as a "friend"
>Fast forward the broke up
>Learn that basically she pretended for months, even for sex (she had valuable reasons to hate me at this point, I can't blame her about this)
>Start seeing him like 2 days after she dumped me, we lived together so I had to go back living with my parents
>Was so depressed (learnt about it by a mutual friend) that I met a girl through dating app
>Fucked her all night (all this shit happened like in 4 or 5 days, couldn't believe it, though it was going to be months)
>Ex-gf realized that the colleague was a virgin, and she didn't go along very well with him (saw them in town, give them the finger, her face was priceless) but still they kissed
>She didn't want me anymore cause I fucked another girl
>Mfw I'm the asshole because I fucked another girl while I was getting cucked

Now my ex-gf hates me, I can't stop thinking about her even when I am with the other girl,(even if I go along pretty well with her, and so far sex is far better) but I know I should leave her alone and move on, but I can't deal with it yet, any advices?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Quit dwelling on he past, move on
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your ex has nothing to be jealous about, and you know you're in the right so there's no advice to be given. You've done nothing wrong and everything right. Enjoy the sex with the new girl and hang with her more. Block your ex on all social media, delete her contact info and just forget about her. Soon you won't be able to contact her and you won't think about her any more. Talk about it to your new girl after a while if it helps - but don't drive her away too early on.
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>>18228507
I already talked about it with the new girl, she's fine with it. But she don't want me to see her again or stuff like that, I was honest with her and it didn't drove her away, yet

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Hey adv/ I'm in need of some help regarding my faience.

He's a great guy, really hard working and sweet but after about three years together he started picking up drinking and only recently, say the past 10 months he's started getting violent when he's been drinking. At first it was more a question of shouting and maybe throwing things, punching walls and the like. But recently he's started hitting me. I'm not a big guy but I'm strong enough to fight back but in the moment I just turn off completely. Thing is, I don't feel abused cause we're both men and when men fight even if it's one sided it's just not the same as the classic wife beater> tortured weak mother type deal. I'm not scared of him or of pain really, but living with the violence really is taking a lot out of me.

I understand the easiest thing to do is just leave, but I feel like he's truly the one that I love. We have the same interests the same tastes in food and music, and we were the perfect match before this started happening. I'm positive he's the love of my life and he really does love me. We're engaged for god sakes. I'm not sure I'd even be capable of letting go of that.

I'm so conflicted cause he's always extremely ashamed and apologetic the day after and seems truly sorry. He once even thanked me for 'not leaving his sorry ass'.
But even after saying such a thing it happened again and again. It really hit home when we needed to go to A&E eleven o'clock at night for stitches after he fucked up my eyebrow over the christmas holidays, and when the nurse asked I lied through my teeth and told her I'd just slipped and hit my head.

My family is starting so see the pattern and have expressed their concern for me and when I'm with my friends they know we don't talk about him. Everything is perfect until he drinks and I feel fucked up for wanting to stay. Should we try couples therapy? AA? Intervention? I just don't know anymore.
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18228406
Listen to me carefully. He won't stop drinking. He won't stop beating you. He is not the sweet guy you remember anymore.

It doesn't matter if you are both men or if he doesn't hurt you. You can't let him treat you like that. You have to take a big breath, muster up your courage AND LEAVE. He will destroy your life and your confidence and your desire to live. You can't help him and he will destroy both you and himself.

Don't stay with him due to happy past memories. Don't do this to your self and those who love you.

My mother has never recovered from my abusive father.
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abusive relationships are similar regardless of the couple's sexes. you're not less of a man because of this and it isn't your fault. men and boys get abused. I was abused. you needed stitches because he hit you. you're being abused. someone else mistreating you doesn't reflect poorly on you at all. you're not responsible for the actions of others. him being sorry afterwards doesn't make it ok. you both being men doesn't make it ok. don't conflate this with a regular fist fight. likewise, you should not enable his bad behavior by lying to cover his ass. it's hard to admit that someone hurt you, but it's important for your safety and his. the longer the cycle of lies and abuse goes on, the harder it will be to stop and more damaged you will both be afterwards. nip it in the bud ASAP. very important. do some reading about alcoholism. it's well-studied and you'll want to understand what's happening to him and to you. it's hard to fix a problem you don't understand. please do research so you can help yourself and your dude. you can both recover from this if you both do the work. it never ever goes away on its own. never. don't be ashamed and don't ignore it. and there's no need to lie to the people who care about you. it sounds like they already know.

he has a problem and needs help. to change, he needs to acknowledge that he has a problem and needs help, and then get it. you can't force him to accept it but it sounds like he knows, and still isn't fixing it. so, he probably feels like he can't fix it, or doesn't know how to cope with whatever is bothering him without drinking. counseling is a good idea. family counseling might be best as then you can both enter it together as neutral ground. he should stop drinking if he can't control himself while drunk. again, sooner rather than later is highly preferable. it's hard to start to deal with a problem like this, but if you wait it will only get more difficult.
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oh yeah, do not marry this man until/unless he gets sober.

DO NOT marry someone who hits you. I've seen this a bunch of times and it is never ever good. marriage doesn't fix people and it doesn't cure alcoholism. he will still hit you and you'll feel even more trapped.

this is serious shit. yours sounds like a classic case. if you sleep on it, it will get a lot worse

I told my best and only buddy (on Friday) that i am bi and into traps (he is also into traps but he said he where "straight") and normally we are writing every day and meeting at the weekends but since i said it he wrote nothing with me in the last two days but was online a lot. And im not in love with him or something he is just my buddy. Shoud i write him and ask if everything is ok? He said also that he doesn't think different about me. What should i do?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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help
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What do you think would clear the air?
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>>18228257
Stfu dude you sound like a faggot. I would have separated myself from you too.

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So, I'm angry all the time.

It used to be I could control it, or even sometimes did it on purpose, but I'm completely out of control now.
I'm extremely confontational and angry ALL the time. Fapping doesn't help as it used to.
I think I'm going crazy.
18 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Did something trigger this, it can't come from a vacuum. I too struggle with anger due to a injury. I am more prone to fighting or getting into confrontations.
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You just need love, anon.
>>
hey that's okay. I think we're all a little angry inside. I used to have anger issues, and I'd get moody and take it out on those closest to me. Whatever you do, don't do that - it's the douchiest move you can make to the only people trying to help you out.

Have you checked with your GP for high blood pressure? Diet and sleep helps a lot. As does general all-round happiness things like exercise and whatnot. I can't talk because I never exercise, but I have used meditation to calm my anger. I can't meditate that well yet, so it still manifests itself in various ways. I realised that the reason I got angry was because I cared so much, and it wasn't going my way. I was emotionally invested in the outcome and I wasn't getting what I wanted, like a big baby. It's okay to be passionate about things, but I needed to learn to let go of things too. Nobody ever teaches you that shit, but it's a life skill you need to have. Anyway - sorry about the personal rant. My point was that perhaps you could find out why it is that you get angry. If you don't know, think about it next time that you're angry.

It's hard to give good advice on a message board without too much further info. Are you an only child? History / family history of ADHD?

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I have wanted to do this for around 3 years. But the guilt i would put my parents and friends into has been enough to drag me through. Its at the stage now where no matter where i look or what i look at its black, boring and mundane. Even if i imagine the best possible future i know i wouldn't enjoy it.

I didn't come here to be talked out of this, ive been planning for nearly a year, noose and a nice spot on a hill that i used to explore with a friend.

I just want some advice, anything on things i could, or couldn't do to help ease the emotional pain of loved ones.
29 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Redditor janitors delete suicide threads now
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OP Here: I would love to reach out to my friends, a shoulder to cry on but i know they would call some kind of suicide helpline or police. i know they would stop it. and that's not what i want. I just want to talk to them, make them understand that this is what i want, that they have been such good friends i honestly couldn't ask for better friends. But fuck
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>>18228177
>ease the emotional pain of loved ones

Not really. You could leave a note, but they'll still blame themselves for not helping you. They won't think avout how cowardly and selfish you are, just how much they love and miss you.

I like submissive females being subservient to males, but I have no interest in BDSM shit or slavery. Part of me is tempted to just give up and look at the fucked up shit because it's the only thing that comes close to my fetish.

Are you cruel to your dog? No, of course not. Your dog is your faithful and loving companion. He's always happy and enthusiastic to see you when you get home. You don't beat him without reason. You love him, but you expect him to follow the commands you give him. This is what I want in a human female. Complete subservience. Some would call this "dehumanizing" but I disagree. A human generally won't piss on the rug, plus you can fuck them and talk to them. I would hold her in higher stature than a dog, but not to the same level as myself. She is below me and has no qualms with this. I make the important decisions, period. To be honest, I would mostly just be squeezing her squishy parts, slapping around and cumming inside her whenever I please. Perhaps she could dress up in lewd outfits for me.

How would one recommend going about acheiving a relationship like this?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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What you are describing is exactly a BDSM relationship, so saying you're not into that makes no sense. The easiest way to find a person who will go along with that is someone who is into the BDSM lifestyle. Or a girl with low self-esteem, but then your relationship would probably be shit.
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>>18228152
Other anon is right, you want bdsm. That's what it is, most porn is overdone and bdsm represents that like any other porn.

try and find kink/bdsm clubs or groups, even websites around your area and meet with sub girls.
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>>18228182
My point is that I'm not interested in the chains and torture and fucked up shit. All I want is to be the dominant force. That doesn't mean I want to whip her or anything.

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>Living in a shared house with more than five people
>A few people away on holiday
>Girlfriend lets her boyfriend stay round.
>Half the house doesn't like the bf staying round because he doesnt clean up after himself, ignores us, uses our stuff and eats our food.
>Effectively shitty housemate 101 but doesn't even live here.
>Got to the point where living here unbearable due to tension and arguements.
>Living with his gf next year as well.

What do bros? I can't really leave due to my situation but its got to the point where I'm scared to even go to the kitchen. He doesn't listen to anything we say and its not nice hearing him round the house. But also a pussy to call police or landlord or anything because dont want to have this repeat next year as well.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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to clarify the girlfriend is a housemate who lives here, not my girlfriend.
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>>18228151
So he isn't a tenant, but he's living in the house?does he pay rent?
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>>18228245
nope just freeloads

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I don't have a desire for a girlfriend/.boyfriend. The sex, cuddles and intimate moments aren't something that i care for, i don't hate them but its just not something that's worth putting any effort into.

I like having people to lean on, so friends are good and im willing to put some effort into them, mainly just hanging out and giving advice as im known for being good at that.

The only reason at all that i feel compelled to get into a relationship is the social stigma around not having one, society doesn't accept people that don't want one.

Is this something i should talk to someone about? ive only ever told a few close friends and my parents (im 18), they just brush it off and say that i will find someone. Im not unhappy with the way i am, i just want to know if i have some kind of mental/emotional disorder and if i should bother seeking treatment as it may be subconsciously impacting other areas of my life ?

If you need any more details, feel free to ask.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18228115
bump
>>
this is all perfectly fine and honestly makes you a thousand times more mature than half of the virigins crying for help with the opposite sex on this board
just be yourself, you're fine, be happy
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>>18228392
Thanks man. Yea i guess. Ive just had a few weird looks / reactions when i tell people.

I have a lot of social issues, like im very bad with small talk and i just kinda wondered if they could be related. Also the stigma of being a virgin where i live is ridiculous.

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>You have to be happy on your own before getting into a relationship.

Somebody clarify what the fuck this means. In order to get into a relationship I must be happy with being single? So then what would be the point, then? Sounds like I wouldn't care it would be a loveless relationship. If I was okay with how things currently were I wouldn't get into a relationship with somebody. Obviously I want a certain someone in my life and I'm not happy without that person.

I don't know if people even know what they're saying.
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It means a relationship won't solve deeper underlying issues. Take /r9k/, many of them unironically believe getting a girlfriend will solve their depression.It won't.

Or in your case
> Obviously I want a certain someone in my life and I'm not happy without that person.
If you arent happy with your life, having a girl won't make everything ok.
>>
If you are miserable and hate your life then getting a girlfriend won't fix that.
>>
>>18227922
When you're comfortable with being a lone and being in love with yourself, meeting someone else is someone that enhances that to another level.
Imaging eating a really good burger that you could imagine getting better but someone comes along and shows you that grilling the onions makes the burger 10x better. That's what a great relationship partner does.
They also do anal.

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18/m
I am just ending the 11th grade (Bulgarian school ages) and I have been loving every moment so far of high school except one thing.
I'm pretty social, /fit/, normal looking in face, excellent in school and have huge general knowledge for my age ( I don't want this to come off as cirlejerking myself)

But I have never had luck with girls. I will admit that up until 9th grade I was a huge ass and found it funny to insult people, but so much has changed in these 2 years.

I know that girls have liked me, their best girl friends have told me. SURE, I am a spaghetti monster and still lack the experience to know how to act around women but that's not the point.
When people talk who they have had a crush on and someone ALWAYS mentions my name the girl always looks at me, giggles, and says ''But that's anon''
These words are ETCHED in my brain ''But that's anon'' They fuel my feelings of inadequacy daily.
What is wrong with me? Why am I ''just anon''? Do I not have a dick or sexual feelings? I am not mad because I am not getting that pussy, I am mad because I KNOW THEY HAVE LIKED ME and still go ''but that's just anon'' .

Is it THAT shameful to have had a crush on me? Does it have something to do with the way I treat girls? How should I treat girls so that I am not ''just anon''
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18227891
It's that you think you're "just anon"

Imaging you have an arm long enough to reach all of this ripe fruit from a tree but you never do it because you think you can't reach it. The fruit starts bragging like "he never picks fruit lol, he'll never pick you, he's weak!". Even though they'd love to be picked by you and feel your big teeth bite into them and feel their juices run down your chin.

It's a sort of test to see if you actually have the balls to reach out and yank that fruit by the vine. Decide wether you want to be seen as a picker or a sitter.
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>>18228011
Can I be a picker without turning into a huge fucking asshole?
That's my biggest fear.
Also how do I ''reach the fruit'' ?
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>>18228052
>Can I be a picker without turning into a huge fucking asshole?
Yes. There's a balance between being a non picker pussy and a heavy picking asshole. BE THE GOOCH.
It takes practice but you cannot be afraid.

>Also how do I ''reach the fruit'' ?

Flirt, ask for their number, set up date, fuck them.

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Whenever I go on a date, or kiss a girl I get massive boners.

I don't get it
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>>18227871
Normal if young and normal testosterone levels .. Hell, I got raging boners from bumpy rides back then.
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>>18227871
I'm not young...

I'm 22
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>>18227871
You dont want to stop random boners.

You having boners means you are young, healthy, fit, with high levels of testosterone virile boy ready to breed anytime.

If you pop one in public, just adjust your penis to point UPWARDS in your briefs so it is easily hidden.

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It's just not fair, my parents gave me this life but never taught me how to live.

During the first years of my life I saw my father once or twice a year and I don't remember him ever doing anything fatherly, never taught me anything, never gave me any father-son speech, never told me any "truth of life", fuck not even a shitty dad joke.

10 years ago I gathered all my courage and called him, told him I needed his help and wanted to see him, he agreed and I had to somehow manage to accept that I just didn't know how to interact with women, he had nothing to tell me and he just wanted me gone, haven't spoken to him since.

And my mother only knows how to talk about god and religion.
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>>18227847
Is there a question here, or is this just "My life sucks more than yours" bragging?
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>>18227847

>It's just not fair

Oh, life isn't fair? That's so unfortunate for you. Some kids are born into waterless deserts and die of starvation before their 1st birthday. Some kids right now in the middle east are being bombed in their sleeps.

Your "boo hoo my parents didn't teach me enough" pity party seems pretty privileged in comparison. Life isn't fair, kid. Too fuckin bad.
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>>18227867
How do I stop being a failure of a man? How can I replace all the missed years of parenting?

It's not fair that I have to try harder than everyone else for something as basic as human interaction.

>>18227882
Yes, there are people who have way shittier lives but even that realization only makes me feel worse, I'm so shit I can't have a normal life when I'm supossed to.

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