Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1761. page

You need to learn to not be embarrassed by yourself. Learn that you're safe with yourself and that opening up isn't a sign of weakness but of strength. I know that all sounds stupid or life coachy but it's true.

It's ok to feel like we can't cry or open up or be serious in front of others, it's natural and just part of the social contact we all sign. But when you're alone you still hang on to that mask. Because you are still in the room with yourself. You're watching you and judging like another person and so you can't just start breaking down or opening up because it's as if there's someone else there. You need to show to yourself that you're ok taking off that mask when you're by yourself.

Try, when you're alone, doing really embarrassing or socially unacceptable things. Scream as loud as you can, sing a song you like badly, act out a scene from a movie you like. These sound stupid I know and seem like they're pointless and easy and won't help up until the moment you try. You'll get this feeling like you do on the edge of a cliff. You have to push beyond that. You need to make an ass of yourself, from that you'll learn that nothing bad happens and that you won't feel less of yourself in the process.

Once you've done that you can start opening up your baggage. And then you'll feel comfortable enough in your own presence to cry.

Watch 5 Centimeters per Second, by Shinkai Makoto. If I'm interpreting the life story portion of your post correctly, it will make you cry and possibly even clarify some things about why you feel the way you do.

Actually, go ahead and watch all the Shinkai movies. They're worth your time regardless.

>>18273787

Try meditation.

Get yourself comfortable, breath taking air from the nose on a rhythm three times shorter than the exaltation, that need to be from the mouth. Keep the tip of your tongue on the top of your mouth, it would help you regulate the air exhaled and over time will help you forget about the position of your mouth, and finally keep your eyes open ever so slightly as you concentrate on a concept or an object that is in front of you, it is easier with a material object. Once your body enters a relaxed state, and you do it right and start losing the notion of time, you would be able to concentrate on the stuff you need to think about. If you want to cry to let it out, then it means there is stuff you need to let out, rather than thinking about the weeping itself just concentrate on the subject and rather than fighting against that reality accept it and try to move on, the weeping might come as you start facing it.


You can also try scream therapy, just use a pillow and feel no shame when you do it, let it out. It's a lot easier, and might be helpful.

By the way, no need for the lotus, just be comfortable.

This might seem like alternative medicine, but meditation has it's own bases, it is not just a "Spiritual" thing.

Sometimes even when you're talking about something that has a minor impact, you end up making a very poignant statement that clarifies a lot of things to your therapist. So it's not always pointless to talk about poinless things, and it's not always less important to talk about less important things either.

Since it's your time anyway, if you hold back something you feel like talking about, you might regret it more than if you talk about it and waste your time.

Besides, if your therapist is good, he'll redirect the conversation if it ends up in a dead alley.

I don't really have any definitive answers for you because therapy never got me anywhere. Sorry.

>>18274039
Thanks anon, this helps a lot.

If you don't mind me asking, you mentioned that therapy never got you anywhere.

Was there anything that did work?

>>18274047
Nope. I've been too much of an escapist and too lacking in drive to do anything that involves gritting your teeth and bearing with the unpleasantness until you become a better person through the challenge. Not fitness, not studying, not a job, and certainly not cognitive behavioral therapy. After all, there is no point for me to do so. So instead of doing things they told me to do, I just stopped going.

I'm guessing this is a lot less helpful to you. Hopefully you're not too far gone, anon.

BLEASE RESBOND DDDD:

Sex definitely has a smell. If you fapped in small/medium sized room recently and anyone enters it, they'll be able to tell at least subconsciously. Unless it's a bathroom or something.

It's not a terrible smell, but it's clammy and brings up unpleasant implications for most bystanders. And it doesn't cling too hard, but you do at least need to apply deodorant or something to make it unrecognizable to a reasonably perceptive person.

Not a gril, but it doesn't actually matter because you can have a nose even if you don't have a vagina.

>>18273733
If Web Development won't offer me the free time I seek, then I need to find a fucking job that lets me have a good amount of time to myself, and I honestly don't care what that job is. I don't care if it requires me to be in scalding hot ovens all day. I just need fucking time to myself. I can't fucking stand the thought of being a slave for the rest of my life and having my own personal interests be second to Mr. Shekelberg buying his new yacht.

PLEASE, /adv/, TELL ME there is a fucking line of work or a job that can let me just live alone but still have free time.

I don't even care about the pay! As long as I can just LIVE, even in section 8 housing, I don't fucking care! As long as I can just afford fucking Ramen and an air mattress, I'm perfectly fine with living in squalor if it means I can have time to read my books and listen to music and fucking have peace and quiet to myself.

Please fucking help me.

>he bought into the wagecuck meme

you have time to yourself before work, you have time to yourself after work, you have time to yourself on your days off. working seven/eight hours five days a week takes a little bit of getting used to energy-wise, but YOU WILL HAVE FREE TIME.

you will not be an automaton, you'll be a goddamn man putting his skill and pride into work he enjoys. get the fucking chip off your shoulder and stop freaking out, your adolescence has to end sometime.

>>18273733
I'm a Computer Science student, currently on my 5th semester and landed my first internship inside the campus on an big company.

I work 6 hours a day, get a good pay, can get up and do whatever the fuck I want (as long as I do what is assigned to me), my colleagues and my boss are very friendly and funny, they've showed me the ropes and taught me a lot (and still do). I drink a lot of coffee and eat a lot of chocolate for free while at work.

I used to stay at home watching Youtube videos and playing videogames all day (never been really a social autist though), and it's true - I do miss having more time to do useless shit, but I feel like I'm progressing you know? It's worth it.

Don't sweat it man, stop being a pussy.

>>18273704
2 lbs a weight is pretty reasonable, especially if you're overweight. Of course you should fucking excercise, I don't know why you wouldn't but even if you don't, losing weight ultimately comes down to how much you eat. Don't eat a lot and you'll lose. Try and eat like 2000 calories a day, that's very low for someone you're height and weight. You'll probably lose 6 or 7 lbs if you stick with it but no cheating.

>>18273718
This.

>>18273704
Eat very little.

Stick at 1400-1500 kcal. You'll lose weight.

Left one

>>18273693
Left one, because:
>shorter
>cute eyes
>elf is more classy than bunny ears. I might read too much into that though
>mysterious smile which is cute but could also be a succubus behind that smile
>no nose piercing

I would fuck the right one for a couple of times and wank to the memories, but I would feel weird. This is all from one pic though. From experience I know you can't judge people from photos. Usually...

>>18273693
Right one seems more approachable, left one looks quirky and is probably a special snowflake hipster. So right.

>>18273669
Bump

>>18273689
Bump

No one has any thoughts whatsoever on this??

>>18273710
Bump

File: 42.jpg (27KB, 460x460px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 460x460px

I recently gave a video interview with similar questions, though it was jointly for a residence as well as the course. My own answers for these questions are similar as follows:
>I chose Vic because of the meaning a close-knit community has had in my schooling career thus far...
>Don't know about this question, but you'll look like hot shit if you give a specific response like "studying Artificial Intelligence" or whatever a specificity of the later years is that appeals to you
>Strengths you can link back to what drew you to BT. I said my strengths would be in interpersonal and community relationships as I've been both a mentor to younger students and a mentee myself, so I think I can help the community blah blah blah, and weaknesses idk this question always seems kinda bullshit to me. What do you want me to say, I'm a no-life neet who's damn near destroyed his wrists because of his obsession with vidya and 2-d girls? come up with some suck-up yet professional response

>>18275098
Thanks so much. So I guess the main jist is that I have to back up my claims with real life examples.

I think I have an answer sort of prepared for the second question but I still need to finalise that.

>>18275897
Yeah absolutely, if you show that you've prepared for your interview w/ real life examples, that's like most of what they're looking for.

Also, I'm sure you knew this already, but do wear something formal for the interview. I got away with just a nice pink dress shirt, but you should judge what is appropriate. This is the same for your backdrop etc, you never know what you might get judged on.

I don't know how much this applies, but I have really terrible stage fright so writing down the answers I'd prepared helped me a lot. This isn't as great when they ask you a surprise question though...

White borders around the flag.

Like, make the flag smaller?

More like Autistan

Don't fap for about 2 weeks and it'll most likely work like a charm

>>18273569

were you able ot get hard in other instances with her? did you get hard then lose the erection? was a condom involved??

>>18273573
roger
>>18273575
Oddly enough i get hard when she does non-lewd stuff such as kissing me or telling me that she loves me. A condom was not involved, and during this specific situation i was "half hard" so to speak, but not hard enough

Any ideas?

>>18273567
>>Other times she won't speak to me for days
>>Asked her out a few times, I never get a "no". Just a bullshit "I'm busy but I'll let you know about next weekend" type response
>>Never lets me know
>>One of the times I asked her I said something like "hey, if you're not interested it's ok you can just let me know". She responded with a "no! I'm busy but I'll let you know about next weekend"
>>Never get an answer. Ask her that Friday if she figured her schedule out, she fucking forgot I even asked her out

You are my co-worker. Pretend a girl in our office has just behaved this way towards me. Now advise me on what you think she thinks about me. Assuming you are not mocking me.

Your first mistake was being interested in someone who you work with.

Walk away.

If you dumped her, the ball is in your court.

Go no contact. Unfriend on social media, don't spy on her, just forget she exists for a while. In a few weeks when you're in a better more confident state of mind and still want to work things out with her, contact her.

What's really going on is a chemical imbalance due to less female contact. Interact with more females and you'll realize you're being crazy.

>>18273517
>interact with more females
This is my downfall. I don't want to because it makes me think of her and I'm just not interested in other girls.

I have no attraction for anyone else and its hard to force attraction.

She ended it. She never said I had to leave but I felt like that was what she wanted.

>>18273509
just do it , marry her, stop with ur bullshit. whining will i ever get over her. if you love her prove it marry her if you love her just do it already>>18273523
prove it , you wont do shit

elliot smith sucks

>>18273451
I was "crazy" from ages 12 to 20. Depression kept me from living a normal life. I hoarded and lived in literal filth for years. Convinced myself I was a sociopath because I didn't know why else I acted the way I did. I was too young and naive to realize my dissociation and depression were in part caused by years of abuse.

Fast forward to now: still fucked in the head but I've been fighting it tooth and nail. Used all the willpower I had to overcome many of my nasty habits i.e. showering less than once a week, hoarding, shitting on my floor, pulling my hair out/self harm, etc. I was a mess, and it wasn't until I started improving myself that I realized how bad things had become. I still have a long way to go, but I'm definitely getting better.

>>18273632
>shitting on my floor

>>18273451
Go to a psych ward, see a shrink, don't fall for the pharmaceutical jew

>>18273385
Don't do it

I fell for a girl at work, had a short thing now she has a boyfriend and I still have the feels. Makes work a bitch to deal with, find some other vagina somewhere else.

This is all assuming you actually have to work with her. If you're in some huge company in different departments or whatever then yeah why not.

>>18273399
Yeah it's not like I work *with* her, I basically just see her everyday there but unless one of us wants it there doesn't has to be any contact for the most part. Think I might go for it, don't have much to lose I guess

>>18273385

Youre in love with someone you barely know and never even hung out with ever? This is plain stupid. You literally dont know who she is. In reality you only know the tiny sliver of her personality she shows at work, and what she looks like. Everything else you "love" is made up in your head. Its fantasy.

This shit aint ok bro. Im not hating either, ive been there myself. But recognize you are legit forming DELUSIONAL FANTASY in your head.

But yeah, ask if she wants to hang out. Not literally that - ask if she wants to meet up for drinks/food/generic activity - be specific. Asking to chill and mumbling "well idk whatdo you wanna do? We could just hang out" means you want cummies and youre not ballsy enough to be bold about it - the two combined are the strongest pussy repellant known to mankind. Its like shes a piece of meat and youre starving - but instead of you being a beast ass slavering lion youre just a scrawny weakling.

Honestly though i can already tell this wont work. Youre "in love" with her (the idea of her, ackchually) and you are barely on her radar. And it definitely fucking shows, dont think she doesnt notice you longingly staring at her every chance you can get while you think she isnt paying attention, or that she doesnt realize what your awkward half baked conversation starters are seeking to achieve.

You should still try and fail though. Its a healthy learning experience. You will never learn without repeated failure. Good luck.

>>18273381
Improve yourself.

/thread

>>18273392
In wharT aspetta?????

>>18273402
All. Anything you want. Take up a hobby. Volunteer. Donate blood. Work out. No body gives a shit.

Also, as an elder sibling myself, shame on you. Never EVER let younger siblings beat you at anything.