Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1496. page

>>18421333

yes people have done this. yes its possible. stop acting like this might be impossible, thats just dumb.

as for how, it varies. there is no one way. girls are not video games and pressing the right buttons doesn't do anything. sans manipulation, the only thing you can do is put your self back into her life and go for it. its not really 'stealing' a girl if she willingly leaves.

as for manipulation its impossible to get specific cuz you need to learn how to guide a conversation on your own, but you basically reach out, act friendly, and slowly pick at the relationship

>>18421345
>basically reach out, act friendly, and slowly pick at the relationship

Sounds reprehensible.... tell me more!
Does it matter how early you start? The rebound is a year in but she cheated on him with me for the first 6 months

Bump in hopes of getting a new perspective

>>18421326
Make that the basis of your answer. If we have no free will, then we "could" only do what we are programmed or God-directed to do, so the question would be one of statistics: assuming some are capable of punishing, then we "could" only if we were in that group. "Should" is a different question. It implies morality, and morality can only exist if there are options.........

>>18421326
>>"Imagine it is true that humans do not have free will and are not capable of choosing which actions they do and which actions they do not do. Could we continue punishing people who do bad things?"
Yes, of course, punishing trains them NOT to do it, regardless if there is free will or not, its like Pavlovs dog. Even if this choice isnt free will, if it is not beneficial and harmful, your body very soon stops craving to do it.
Dont see a discussion here.

>>18421341
if you don't have free will, you can't alter your behaviour to match it to extern circumstances.

>>18421338
this. the question is "could", so i would answer it like it's worded.
if he says he meant "should" later, then he would have to give you stellar grades because you actually read it correctly.

anyways, since that would imply that nobody has free will, then there would be people who could punish others IF their predestined path is to punish others.

You're not stuck up. That is basic etiquette that comes with civilized society. Obviously he was raised by wolves.

>>18421300

everyones different. if his parents arent bugged by it he probably picked up the habit at a young age or something.

lock your door and tell him he needs to knock to get in

>>18421308
what really boggles my mind is that asides from this he puts a lot of weight on "manners". for example, he would never start eating before everyone is seated. not even if it means he waits 15 mins and his food is cold and the others have told him to not wait.

>>18421312
idk if it buggs them. maybe they are used to him doing that. it just honestly embarasses me if i go with him and he does that. i feel like an intruder and i hate it.

the person who rented our apt before us lost the toilet keys, so i kind of have to rely on his respect for my privacy. hasn't worked very well so far.

She gets up all angry, and leaves the table we are playing the card/drinking game.

I tell the fake accent guy to stop being such a white knight, that I've been traveling with her for a week, we can discuss certain things and he doesn't need to jump to her defence. He is offended and knows how scummy white knight are and is telling me that he isn't one and that he doesn't even want to sleep with her, so he isn't a white knight. I tell him a white knight is more than just wanting to sleep with someone, it's a guy after attention.

I leave it at that and continue chilling when the girl comes back.

A Columbia guy who is part of the drinking game starts lecturing me in front of the girl, tells me that in a group you have to be considerate about the group and that he loves salsa and he doesn't want to play it because no one else will. Which I respond that I love salsa and sharing cultures in a hostel is all it's about. The Columbia guy repeats this same sentence TEN times! I tell him it's probably best to shut the fuck up.

Chick is upset, fake English accent is upset, Columbia is upset, American is trying to clean up the mess but seems confused. So I bounce.

I end up at a bar that also has airsoft area you can shoot guns and end up getting a Japanese girls number that is most likely getting over someone naked "mike" from the conversations I heard of her friends.

What do?

How do you deal with white knights without being the asshole by telling them in social situations to shut the fuck up and wanting to smack their beta asses. I honestly have no counter but to want to beat the shit out of them and call them out for the little bitches they are.

I ended up talking to the Swiss girl half an hour later and she wants to keep traveling with me for the 3 days we have remaining. I said sure but I don't know if I want to conifnue.

So should I keep traveling with her and how do I deal with wanting to shut someone up I know I can dismantle but is acting superior/tough because of the safety of the social environment?

I used it for months, nearly an year.

It did good for my anxiety, but my sex life went downhill. My dick was numb, I couldn't get into sex and had problems getting a raging boner. I've changed meds for this reason.

However, I can't stress this enough:
>RESULTS VARY FROM PERSON TO PERSON
If you have adverse effects as I did, you should ask to change meds and pressure your doctor to do so if he refuses to. There are dozens of meds for anxiety/depression, you're not forced to stick with one if it has bad side effects to you. I'm currently on pristiq and its effect on my sex life is minimal, I'd say I am at 80 to 90% sexually what I am without it.

>>18421225
OP here. I have been on anti-depressants for over 10 years now and I have tried many of them. The last one I was on helped a great deal with the panic attacks but the sexual side effects caused me to come off of them. It was a long and painful process of dealing with the withdraws but I just didn't want to be on a daily medication any more. Unfortunately my panic attacks had been occurring almost on a daily basis and increasing in severity since coming off. That forced me to talk to my doctor about getting back on medication. He suggested Lexapro, saying that it should have little to no effect on my sex drive but I have my suspicions. It sucks being on an anti depressant for anxiety only to have your dick not work causing you to get depressed and self - conscious.

>>18421282
Yeah although my case is much less severe than yours, I totally get where you're comming from. I even tried to cold turkey pristiq a few weeks ago, until I was raging hard at my gf and parents and on the verge of crying just from looking at my dog. Shit was crazy.

Every anti depressant/anxiety med is going to have an impact on your sex life as it directly messes with the hormones (?) that control your pleasure. You have to go through a few to get the best match for you. If lexapro isn't it, move on. It's worthless if it kills your dick and makes you feel bad anyway.

Also mind you that you have to compromise. I take my meds because I can't have sex if I lose my gf in a rage tantrum or go to jail for beating someone in traffic, so it's better to have 8/10 sex than not being able to have 10/10 at all. You can hardly get sex if you're not functional. If I want a little boost I skip it for a day and that's it.

Where you ever diagnosed by a doctor as having a mold allergy? Do you have any documentation?

>>18420962
No I have not been diagnosed.. but over the past couple years I have identified it as the cause, black mold in particular. Too expensive to see a specialist unemployed.

What insurance do you have?

>>18420899
Nobody can be forced (depends on country and type of case) to testify at court as witness. Simply deny it all and tell her you wont go anywhere.

>pro tip
Nobody cares about who you did and didnt slept with.

>>18420899
>how do i prove i didn't sleep with someone?

You can't. Unless he literally gives times and places and you can produce alibis for them, you can't prove something didn't happen.

Also, I don't think they can make you testify. Look that up for the place where you live.

>>18420911
>>18420909

I think you guys are missing the mark, I think Op wants to repair the relationship with the wife.

>>18420896

Talk about it. If she insists, just leave her?

> I'm getting angry and bitter over it

Any relationship that makes you feel steadily worse is a relationship not worth having.

>>18420896
>angry
>bitter
Google sunken cost fallacy and break up.

>8 months
>not interested in sex

Are you trying to say you didn't get laid for the 8 months that you were together? Jesus fucking Christ, get the fuck out of there.

You feel un important like you don't matter. That is just because people don't treat you well.

Your life is yours to make not one to live to according to a story in a game.

>>18420810
You're a redshirt

>>18420811
well, i feel completely useless, but that's not everyone else's fault. i have no skills, no talent, nothing i'm good at. i have basic knowledge but not enough to be of any more help. basic life skills, like a house wife, but that's about it.

>>18420721
You must not afraid to lose her, man. I know it hurts you, but if you really want it to develop into a romantic relationship you have to make the move. Should you stay afraid and just see how it will play out, soon she'll respond to another who showed a romantic intentions on her and I guarantee you'll become bitter and full of regret.

Better regret the shit you've done than shit you've not done.

If you want to do something, better make your romantic intention known. Better to not go cheesy way with love letter or love confession bullshit. Go with something subtle like touches, building the tension and letting it end in romantic release.
If you're to awkward to ask her out then, push yoursel. I don't mean you suddenly go to concert or some clubs dancing. Pick a place you both enjoy and try to share experiences together there. Even library works if it's your cup of tea.

>>18420743
The problem is that there is no school for the next two months, so the only way for me to meet with her would be to directly invite her out, and that is just too straight forward and awkward

>>18420749
Then she goes out with another who invited her out and they fucked. The end. If it ticks you wrong then JUST DO IT.
Would you rather be awkward for a maybe 10 - 30 minutes trying to ask her out, or being a bitter jaded person full of regret years later?

Excuse my bitterness, when reading your posts kinda threw me back into my school days. I've been in similar situation like yours and oh how I regret not throwing my fragile out of the window for 5 minutes back then and ask that one petite girl.
Even more worse that a while back when I was having a reunion, her friends told me that if only I asked her out things will be different and we could've been married by now.

Don't go in my way. Now I fucked whole lots of model girls, but I'll never be satisfied with that one that's gone. Also I'm bitter and jaded now.

Get the fuck over it, and quit being a little bitch.

>>18420734
Why'd you break up with him?

Did you do it or did he break up with you?

>>18420744
I did, he didn't want kids and we are at an age where this matters.

>>18420702
>worship academia

You mean pseudo-academia, the "wanna feel smart but not have to strain my brain too much" subjects.

Mostly, no one cares wtf you do op. Why do you care if other people care anyway?

>>18420702

Welcome to being a virgin over 20! There are plenty of us here on 4Chan.

>And I recently moved to a giant city with better weather and much more to see

Awesome, fresh start. Now GET. A. LIFE.

Having a nine to five job gives you money, so use that money. Have fun. Pick up some cool classes, join a club (some kind of artistic workshop or something), start going out to meet people.

The only person my age at my job is my bosses son, and he doesn't like me. So I do my job, get my money, and then have fun with it after hours.

Also, check your outlook towards life. I see a lot of spite in this post. Towards people in general and women in specific. Just a heads up: People don't like to hang out with those that hate them before they even get a chance to speak. So give people a try. Not all of them are crap.

>>18420805

He cares because he wants to be accepted, he just said he never gets attention from women and has no friends.

You might be interested in this article though.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2010/05/16/what-is-manliness/

I met with someone I spoke to that day, I had one of the best dates have down, especially for a blind date.

Maybe she just feels a connection with you.

>>18420685
She wants to fuck maybe?

>>18420685
There's no such thing as being over cautious, typically when someone wants to meet only at a specific part of the day it's because their partner is away and they can schedule that as cheating time. Either that or maybe she's just busy until evening every day.

>>18420625
option 2 because I don't have a degree anyway

this new age bullshit. stop fleeing and secure a future for your kids.

>>18420682
I don't want to have children nor a wife.

>>18420542
Why don't you just fight back?

>>18420549
What's there to fight? They're fucking dumb comments.
It's not like she's offering any intelligent insight. She's just being a moron. I usually laugh it off.

>>18420549
This. Or sit her down and ask her not to be so rude.
I don't think you can really move to the ncutting her out solution without trying to rectify it first.