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> inb4 bait
> I'm dead serious, I really consider to kms if I won't be able to fix this shit
> tl:dr
A robber broke into my house while I was showering.
'Showering' with an improvised cucumber dildo on the toilet.
The cucumber slipped into the toilet with my mom's eyeliner, lipstick and nail polish.
Now it doesn't function right ( the toilet not the cucumber ).
It makes noises and it can't refill itself.
My parent are coming back in one and a half day and if they find a cucumber and my moms makeup in the toilet i'll off myself.
> /adv/ please help, calling a plumber is impossible
> no fucking joke, I'm dead serious
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>>18426004
> Cont. to clarify myself
> It didn't slip into the water and that's it
> It went pass the point of salvation
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>>18426004
it takes like 50 minutes to go turn the water to the house off, drain the toilet, unbolt it, and remove the objects, and then bolt it back down. go watch a video on youtube.
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>>18426014
I'm 90% panicking 10% thinking by this time.
What if the makeup went to the sewer system? Am I fucked?
Can I pour something to kill the cucumber or make it rot? turning off the water will mean i'll turn off the water to 3 household, people will start asking questions and I'm not good with answers
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Hey /soc/
I think I'm ready to kill myself. Been thinking about it for years, and I'm now in this calm state of ready. I'm down to tak to some people either before i do it or before I talk myself out of it.
Talk to me dweebs
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Fuck off attention whore
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>>18425771
Thanks pal
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>>18425770
can I have all your stuff
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>been absolutely garbage at video games for my whole life
>grow up, get martial arts as a hobby three years back (boxing and judo)
>shit at boxing but I like the technicality of the game even if I lose more than I win
>shit at judo even though I enjoy practicing, but not competing
>below average at my job, everyone's better than me, even new guys get this job faster than I did
>constantly comparing myself to the success of others and their respective skill levels against mine in my hobbies
>this is really dragging me down and making me feel like garbage all the time, even in things I enjoy
So I've got two hobbies I really fucking suck at, and everyone's better than me, and I can't even do a job well. I did okay in school and got average grades, so I'm not a dumbass.
Is there a good way to get out of this shitty attitude? Stop comparing myself to other people, and start building on my own success? I need a different way to frame my mind to work better so I can orient around success, instead of my constant mistakes at work and in my personal life.
Can I get out of this trap, anons? Or am I doomed to just be mediocre at everything I even try? And if I can't be exceptional at something, why bother trying?
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It's all in the DNA. Your ancestors never mastered shit but on the plus side they got really good at being mentally healthy. You have so many things you're doing, your hormonal balance must be on point. So feel good you have that and you're doing things with your life, even if the things you're doing are at a pleb tier shit level.
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>>18425669
I don't quite know how my ancestors would factor into my success at activities or work. If they didn't succeed, it's still not on them for me to succeed or no. Just the same, plenty of rich folks are absolutely incompetent and simply have their wealth by starting out winning the lottery.
I at least have my mental health in order, and my bodily health is doing well. And I'm able to recognize that there even is a problem, whether it's me or a mind-state I'm trapped in that's dooming me for failure.
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>>18425669
Pseudoscience bullshit.
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help guys. last night my girlfriend was sexually assaulted by her friend and another person. its going to court, but i dont know what to do. how do i comfort her? im so lost on what to do
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>>18425584
Listen a lot and talk very little. Respect her space. Try to be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or just a reassuring phone call throughout the day.
I'm so sorry, this is shit and shouldn't happen. Hope you guys get through this. Best wishes.
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>>18425593
This. Or rather, don't talk at all.
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Leave her, she cheated on you subconciously.
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If I'm a girl and I get wet from looking at naked pictures of girls or lesbian porn, does that mean I'm sexually attracted to girls?
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Yes. And you asking that question also means you are legally retarded.
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No, it means you're sexually attracted to pixels. Go outside and lick a titty. Do you enjoy it? Yes? Whoop-dee-doo you're at least bi. No? There you go.
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>>18425573
Is this a question you're seeking to get a "no" on? Because it seems to me that you're asking a question to which the answer you should know, deep inside. Just ask yourself if you want to engage in something like that.
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Sometimes my cat meows until I come and then sprawls around on the floor like this. Also sometimes when I pet my cat it sticks its ass in the air. Is this an invitation to fuck? I don't want my cat or my parents to hate me if I misinterpret her. And if she is, is it a mistake to fuck a cat? I've never had a gf before and I don't think I've loved anything more than my cat. Someone please advise, I have high functioning autism, and I never thought I could love. I've never had these feelings before.
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>>18425527
Cats can't consent. So, no, don't fuck it. A cat can't "ask" for sex from a human. You'll very likely hurt it if you try.
Talk to your parents about this. Good luck.
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>>18425535
WRONG!
A cat is fine too
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I'm not giving you any real advice, but here's a .gif (Seriously, don't fuck the cat. The cat will get hurt physically and you¨ll feel regret)
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I need to be in study mode, but I am stuck in space mode.
I have no concentration and dextroamphetamines aren't improving my focus.
How do I grind my mind into focus mode and are there any tricks to wake up my mind?
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>>18425477
I have an exam tomorrow in Ochem.
Thanks for your help and have fun discussing politics instead of math and sci or talking to me or whatever.
Fucking bastards.
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>>18425477
With willpower you faggot
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>>18425479
Thank you for gifting me that information from your beautiful mind.
Anything else besides willpower. Do you clench your asshole, ice your balls, slap yourself in the face, or eat a nice meal?
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How do I get a girl out of my league ?
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>>18425423
You don't. That's how life works. You only get people as "valuable" as yourself. If you have nothing to offer, then you won't get them.
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You don't.
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I got some news for you anon.
Anonymous
/aoga/ - Ask the Opposite Gender Anything 2017-06-16 09:18:24 Post No.18425275
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/aoga/ - Ask the Opposite Gender Anything 2017-06-16 09:18:24 Post No.18425275
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/aoga/ - Ask the Opposite Gender Anything
Anonymous
2017-06-16 09:18:24
Post No. 18425275
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
NO creating new threads until the previous thread is on page 8, even if you hit the bump limit.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself (but only if the previous thread is at least on page 8). You can use these macros: https://imgur.com/a/y6BF2
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anyone, state your gender:
what are traits, commonly considerd unattractive, that you'd like your partner to have?
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>>18425294
burping. i love when men burp.
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>>18425294
Male. I guess prefer people that are always late, like me. Punctual people give me a hard time.
Anonymous
GIOYC -- GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST 2017-06-16 09:17:52 Post No.18425273
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GIOYC -- GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST 2017-06-16 09:17:52 Post No.18425273
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GIOYC -- GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST
Anonymous
2017-06-16 09:17:52
Post No. 18425273
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Vent your frustrations, write letters here, confess your sins.
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I still miss you Princess..I hope you had a great week at work and that you're excelling in your studies
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jesus i wanted to run my fingers through your hair.
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Do I ever come back home?
Anonymous
Worst industries to work in 2017-06-16 09:08:31 Post No.18425242
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Worst industries to work in 2017-06-16 09:08:31 Post No.18425242
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Worst industries to work in
Anonymous
2017-06-16 09:08:31
Post No. 18425242
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I thought I knew what I wanted to do for work but it turns out I don't. I left the field I was in and I've been doing delivery driving for the last 2 years or so for different companies. I'm sick of it because the pay sucks and it's a dead end job with no benefits. I feel like I'm wasting my life there, but I don't know what else to do.
So even though I don't know what I want to do, I thought it would be interesting to see what you guys think are the worst industries to work in. Whaddaya think?
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Unskilled manual labor i.e construction.
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>>18425252
/thread
Or any profession that has the potential to be replaced by robots in the next 5-10 years.
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anything food related is slavery,i "studied" to become a baker and regret it deeply since theres nothing else i can do and its really hard to get educated on anything else since im too poor and it costs.i only picked it up cause it got work in My 3rd world country where everyones unemployeed but i didnt think twice about the job itself really..
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I am always paranoid about storing porn and hentai on my hard disk, I often find myself deleting everything or encrypting most of it.
How can I end this autism?
(can't upload it on cloud services)
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>>18425158
Why?
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Why do you need to hide it? If other people use your computer who aren't that knowledgeable then just create a folder in your system32 folder and dump it there.
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1. Think about the worst case scenario when someone does find your porn.
2. Realize that nothing much would happen. You get a little embarrassed, that's all.
3. Once you know more about people, you realize that everyone else has many more much weirder sexual fetishes and fantasies and other dark secrets, too many more to care about you and your embarrassing side.
4. Stop hiding porn.
5. Profit
Anonymous
Spending too much time with a female friend 2017-06-16 08:39:35 Post No.18425131
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Spending too much time with a female friend 2017-06-16 08:39:35 Post No.18425131
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Spending too much time with a female friend
Anonymous
2017-06-16 08:39:35
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I spend on average 6-9 hours a day with a female friend of mine because we take the same classes and do all of our studying together.
We don't have much in common and honestly our entire friendship is built around our shared schooling, but all this time around her is messing with my head and I've developed feelings.
What do I do?
Acting on these feelings isn't an option - not only would it be a bad idea in that we're too different and I don't think anything between us would last very long, but she also has a boyfriend of four years.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any input or advice is very appreciated.
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>>18425131
Bring other friends along, so you won't be just around her.
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>>18425131
Spend less time with her. Open yourself up to new experiences and meet new people.
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>>18425136
I've tried. Every time we invite other people to hang out or study with us they only stick around for a while and eventually just stop coming. Most people aren't willing to sit in the library and study for several hours after class everyday, and I haven't found anyone other than her that does.
>>18425144
>Spend less time with her
Not really an option. Like I said, we are taking all the same classes. Even if I were to stop studying with her it would be really sudden and a pretty asshole thing to do considering we've helped each other through our classes for a year now.
>Open yourself up to new experiences and meet new people.
No time, it's wake up, class and studying, gym, maybe an hour or so of reading or sitting around, and then sleep.
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>tfw going to college
>dont want to
>dont like anyone there
>getting degree i dont want
>thinking about having to return at the end of summer fills me with sadness
Why is it so hard
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>>18425067
why the fuck are you even going then? Do you really think you're going to be able to get a job with the degree that you have no interest in? do you think you're going to be able to go to that job daily for the rest of your life?
college isn't for everyone dude. you can be successful without it if it isn't your thing.
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>>18425067
Totaly feel the same. Just going because i have no idea what i would do otherwise...
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>>18425071
because not going would put me in a ton of shit
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This has been bothering me for 2 years. If it makes a difference, I'm male.
I was on date 3 with a guy and we got sexual. I agreed to blow him. It was my first time and his dick was very big. I couldn't deepthroat it, which upset him and he got very rough about it. Obviously once he got rough I didn't want to do it anymore. It also fucked up my jaw (loosened the left side which may need surgery in the future). I was afraid to bite because he was much stronger than me, and I was really shocked at how he snapped. So yeah I was scared. He acted like nothing happened.
Would this be considered rape, even though I consented/offered to begin with?
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>>18424906
Full 100% raging homo, but yes he raped your mouth
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If you don't like what's going on, half way through consenting, yet make no effort to stop the situation, it's on you.
Stop trying to blame others for your own mistakes.
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>>18425023
Oh... I did struggle. I just didn't bite.