Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1390. page

>>18438065

She's making an excuse because she feels uncomfortable with the direction in which your friendship was going. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, just that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

It's sad and it will sting, but there are plenty more women out there who will want to date you. Try not to get held up on one individual when there is someone better suited to you.

She sounds even worse than you.

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The rest of the conversation...

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2/?

Fast forward a bit more to current day, doing an IT admin course, about to have my 2nd year exams, I'm nervous but will probably pull through. Been threatened by mom to be thrown out of the house if I fail this year. School is weird and lackluster, have to do most of the studying ourselves, teachers are either absent or not helping.

Relationship: 1.5 years into it now, but I've never been actually happy about it, not even when it all started. I know she really loves me, but I had trouble actually noticing it, has to do something with the way we show our affection to the other. I open doors for her, take her jacket, remember everything she says down the smallest detail, buy her jewelry, get her her favorite snacks any time we see each other, pay in the stores, get her flowers, Steam games, chocolate when she's on her period, support her in literally every way you can imagine. Prioritize her in every point of life, and she's well aware of that, I always stand ready for her. I spoil her in the bedroom as well, without any of this being asked of me at any point. I just do it because it feels natural to me. It's the way I am, but I've been dealing with not getting anything back for 1.5 years and I'm really just getting sick of it. We've had many talks, some fights and even a break-up about this, I could count on one hand when she actually got me something without the forced "occasion" feel behind it, like my birthday or Christmas. At those points she just literally asked what I wanted.

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3/?

It's the first relationship for the both of us, but I don't really feel that good next to her. There were times when I did, but those didn't last long. There are moments when I like waking up next to her, or seeing her face as I close my eyes to sleep, and I can get really affectionate. But it feels like I'm just doing and faking this all for nothing. In the bedroom, she practically doesn't do anything, except initiating sometimes, and then basically lying on the bed and enjoying everything. It's about as fun as having sex with a doll. She says she's "not ready to do anything", but she's okay with sex. Other than that, she just won't do anything.
I've always been loyal, never winked left or right, but lately I've just been feeling bad about it all, up to the point where I just don't care anymore. I still really pull towards other girls, but not because of the relationship part, mostly simply because I'd like good sex. I'm nearing the end of my teens and have yet to experience a wild night or anything. I don't drink, mostly because of a childhood trauma, and don't really go out because I hate big crowds and drinking people. I have a social life though, female contacts as well, some of them sometimes making a subtle hint. I am and have always been loyal, but lately I just feel like it's not worth it for what I get out of this relationship. It's nice to have, but idk if keeping it is really worth it. Then again, I don't want to break her heart, and in turn, mine. We had a break-up a few weeks ago, came back together after having cried a lot on both ends, mostly mine.

4/4

Mental situation: Feel like I'm having some kind of split personality issue. I can be really quick to anger, can switch from a good to a really salty and aggressive mood within one minute, sometimes for the least serious reasons, take banter as personal offense. Been to a psychologist with this, didn't end up at anything reasonable, I got my next intake appointment at a more serious institution in 2 months. I've tried some ways to calm myself, but I just cannot seem to stay relaxed or take things lightly.

Any anons that know what I could or should do? I just don't know what to do about the girls subject, and my mental health as well, I need a way to calm down or somehow find peace in my life.

Also, have some of OP's edgy art.

If you guys need any other info like hobbies, habits or anything, feel free to ask, got no secrets. I'd really appreciate any help.

KYS

>>18438010

Don't think much about it, it was her decision to do so. You can hang out with her but don't push your worries on her because she should be the one worrying the most. If she engage the subject, without you hinting it of course, than you have the right to be supportive.

It was just a spur of the moment that both of you got intimate, it's not the end of the world. Just don't make it obvious to the world that both of you have done it, you'll put in her an unneeded situation.

That poor boyfriend. Trusting both of you.

>towered by 1/4 girls
That can't be right. I'm 6'0 and live in Oslo, too. I see like 4 chicks every day that are taller than me, at most.

Height can deceive on distance as opposed to standing next to them.

>>18437991
Ok, so you're taller than 75% of the girls in a tall people country. How is that bad? Is it the fact that they're gorgeous, too?

>>18438044
OP is a genuine attention whore, no different then a girl saying their ugly while pretending to play videogames.

>>18437970
I don't expect a man to pay for everything always, but I prefer if he at least offers to pay for the first few dates. I always offer to pay myself, too.

Unless we did something very expensive or I am not interested in him, I don't insist too much on paying myself at least for the first 3-4 dates. Then I prefer to take turns.

>>18437970
women want equality now dont they? maybe they should start paying for dates now

>>18437970
We'll I'm a guy and personally I feel better when I pay. I don't mind to let my gf buy occasionally, but I like being the provider in the relationship.

Occasionally she insists that she pays though, usually as a token of appreciation for me.
We're about to move in together (getting married) and she's insisting that she pays a portion of my house payment, even though I wouldn't require that.

I would really like a blowjob though, but she won't even try it.

Idk, wait 20 years and ask again.

It's subjective.

>>18437934
Oh come on, just give me your honest opinion :(

>>18437917

You're dad is right on the part that the army doesn't treat their soldiers well, or at least not the same way compared to the past. I've talked to old veteran soldiers that helps out the newer bloods and they confirmed that the army gives them shit treatments.

If you truly want to be in the army,don't apply for group type soldiers. Aim to be an officer or the air force. I'm not sure about the navy, you'll have to inform yourself about it.

Neither the military nor psychology wants people who "JUST WANT TO KILL SANDNIGGERS MAAAAN"
Do something else.

Army guy here, your dad is 100% right. Army treats you like shit and there's no real reason to be killing people abroad at the moment. You don't just get to be a fucking "Ranger" off the bat either, that'll take ya at least 10 years and only if you're good enough. Can you hike without stopping for 26 miles with 40 pounds of equipment by chance?

Drop girl 1 & 2 and see how things work out with girl 3. She doesn't deserve you going around on her back, it will be an explosive cocktail if she finds out and you will fall down in the same shit hole again. You can't long for a crush if you don't give people a chance.

If things don't work out in the end, repeat the same cycle you did but once you find that good decent good, drop the others again.

>>18437895

Good decent girl* Sorry for the bad typo.

>>18437895
>>18437899

Thanks, I actually started to date girls to get over my crush (pretty silly for a 28 yeard old dude, I know).

Now, there is one thing I makes me have 2nd thoughts about girl 3, she's not very good on bed, so, I will need to work that out with her and also, I hate being the one paying for everything whenever we go out

OP here. Here is my story: The first girl I was ever in love with was when I was about 17. When you first feel that, it can get pretty intense. But she was actually really cool. We had all the same interests and I thought she was really hot. It last for about a year, from real close friendship to a few months of dating. Then she moved to another country. We kept in touch for a while but inevitably to get over her I had to just cease communication. I don't think she was interested anymore anyway. I am 34 now. She hasn't lived here in about 17 years. She only lived in this country for one or two years so we have zero mutual friends. Sometimes it feels like a weird distant dream that never happened, its been that long since I even seen her. Its a very surreal feeling and it made me think how the situation was unusual and I wonder if anyone else has experienced it. I can only imagine its similar to a loved one dying. Gone without a trace like that. I recently found her on Facebook and its just so weird seeing her again. I'm not going to send her a friends request though.

>>18437864
that's how I always operate, desu

Pretty normal to never speak to an ex after breaking up

She is probably hurt and lashing out.

Maybe disproportionately compared to what it is she's complaining about, but, it's coming from a place of feeling like you're not there for her, and maybe is something she has been feeling for a while and this was just the straw that broke everything. Plus there's the emotions of her uncle dying adding onto it.

My advice to you and anyone is that actions speak so much louder than words. It doesn't take anything to text someone "I'm there for you" or tell someone "I love you." It's what you do to actually show it that matters. What have you done to show it to her, OP?

Yeah, she is fucking another man.

I'm so sorry.

>>18437822
I've been there for her in literally every other instance. She didn't seem too upset at the time and I continuously checked to see how she was going. As I said, if I had my chances again I'd have gone to visit her without even offering.

>straw that broke everything
I think so, for the last 4 months she hasn't seemed quite as enthusiastic in texts etc. Not sure why, I treat her very well.

>>18437827
I hope not but why do you think this?

>>18437812
>should I approach the subject

This is a delicate situation, but that's up to you. If you feel like this will haunt you, I would go ahead and have the conversation. If you think that it's nothing to worry about, then I'd let it lie.

If you do want to pursue this to terminate the issue, I'd address it with a serious foreword: before diving in, tell him that this is however important to you that it is- and tell him you can't have a small, dismissive answer, because this is a pivotal conversation to you.

If he's serious about you, you'll know it from his response.

>>18437812
Is his friend right?

>>18437874
He could get someone hotter than me for sure. If I had to rate us, he's easily a 7.5/10 and I'm a 6.5/10.
We've been together for 4 years and we get along really good. We're a really good match on a personal level and our relationship works amazing. I don't think he is "settling". I wish he didn't feel like that.

Girls don't like emotional men, it turns them off. Remember, there is a difference between what girls say they want and what they actually want.

>>18437776
The fundamental gender divide imho.
I'm on the opposite side of this, a grill who wants the guy I'm dating to open up more emotionally.

To me it's like really great to understand what's going on in a guy's head, know what worries them/ how to support them etc. And vice versa.

What is it about emotional talk that men don't like?

>>>>>18437777

just jam it in

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>>18437774

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>>18437771

>>18437769
ever heard of google my nigga?

>>18437769
Make a cauliflower curry- fry cauliflower and onions, add spices and tomatoes. Wilt in spinach and cook some rice.

I'd also recommend making a big pot of dhal. It's really easy, nutritious and cheap. Look up a recipe.

>>18437769

http://www.kraftcanada.com/recipes

Don't judge the website name, look up the recipes because they're are fairly easy to do. You can even find an app that has the ability to ask you have you have in your fridge and it will find a recipe for you.

Take some time off and spend it with your mother and father. If you can go on a vacation but somewhere you can blend in the culture of the country without putting yourself in danger... just don't go in the countries where you know you can get abducted/high risk of terrorism.

The reason I'm telling you to go there is to broaden your view of the world. Blend yourself with the population and have a good time. But don't forget that you need to learn about the poverty too, because your fun/possessions is allowed because of their hard work. It will teach you a life lesson that will add to your own values.

Then you can re-calibrate yourself as of what you expect of life and what you will want. Don't spend too much time in your comfort zone, always strive for something better, one step at a time. You only have one shot at life after all.

You could open a restaurant?

>>18437754
You fucked up bigtime. You are gonna regret quitting while you go into debt with your parents while looking for a new job. This 'find yourself' during time off mindset is a meme. You can just as easily research new careers and educational paths in the meantime while still having a job.
You may feel like your previous job was a waste of time but that is a fallacy; this world runs on money and your ability to achieve personal happiness is directly proportional to how much moolah you have. Having no job and being dead in the water is a bigger waste of time than a job you dont like. I would strongly recommend forcing yourself to not be idle longer than even a week lest you fall victim to sloth.