Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1352. page

well it's not a shotgun wedding, so you just tell her to wait til you've both graduated and gotten proper jobs etc. Having a measure of stability before marriage isn't unreasonable.

in the meantime, seek treatment for your depression or that will ruin both your lives. seek treatment via your uni healthcare if possible for free, or through the counsellor. Please take this seriously.

and do this course too please: http://www.mediafire.com/file/stl5ctg1ptogszt/MWTD.zip

>>18451854
Well my coping with depression is a lot better than a few years back.
But is still get days where I percieve myself as a complete loser.

>>18451863
its an uphill struggle but you have goals and a reason to continue. think of the plebs on here that don't, that may motivate you.

please be good to yourself. good luck.

>>18451808
1. Why the fuck would killing them help?
2. She's already not going to budge
3. Do this then move out.

Just help take care of them. Maybe take them out while the dogs are outside?

>>18452054
Fuck that. Your asking him to be a pussy bitch for his mom. He might as well clean the whole house, walk the dogs, make dinner, and bend over at night so his mother mom can peg him. It's not his responsibility.

Oh my god, I have the exact same problem and would really like to figure this out too.

Wow, I really don't know, that makes me a bit sad, I'm sorry. Do you have a significant other? Do they really try to spice things up for you? A Hitachi magic wand can do wonders, my GF likes to hold it on her clit while I fuck her, which is pretty fun except for the fact she only wants to do missionary now lmao

But if you want to remain asexual I suppose you do you.. but otherwise, treat it as a problem and begin troubleshooting

>>18451783
Sounds like you had a horrible first time or you weren't prepared for having your hymen ripped and discomfort. If this is the case it happens all the time, get your shit together op. You're a roastie now.

T A K E H E R T O T H E A R T E X H I B I T I O N Y O U F O O '

And learn more about art to have more things to discuss with her.

>>18451646
I went there by myself. She was working there but it seems that she wasnt there when I went. She just recommended me to go there because of something I had to do in a subject at college that was related to the exhibition.

I think I'll tell her that I went there and if she knows any other places that would be cool to go to and maybe try asking her out to one of those places. I dont know how I'll ask her out, I have no clue on what to say.

>>18451672
Check on similar exhibitions, and then go to her and ask...
"Hey, wanna go to X with me sometime?"
>She answers yes (hopefully)
"Cool, what's your number? We'll set a time together later cus i gtg"
BAM

Don't over analyze asking someone out. Be simple about it.

>>18451606
The other night a friend and I got drunk, we were hanging out with a group of people. He ended up kissing the girl I found the most attractive, and I got with this butterface instead. He is more likeable, he has an aura of charisma and he is older than me. You have to be sociable and funny, you have to have some sort of status, not just the quiet guy who occasionally talks or jokes.

>>18451606
Just be yourself dude

>>18451629
I'm not here to argue, but the whole ''be yourself" isn't true.

Sure you have to like what you do, how you dress, how you talk, act and much more, but there are always going to be people (in this case women, not all of them) who don't like that.

For example: I have a few friends who are okay/friendly guys, but when I see them talk to women they tend to be cocky, tough and macho (they don't act like this when I hang out with them) and women just love it/eat it up.

>>18451587
> I keep confusing the shit out of the opposite sex by being too nice and apparently open to possibilities.
Eh, what do you mean with that?

>>18451613
I've been told I make them think I'm into them because I try to be nice and friendly and look open to starting something with them. Like my eyes sparkle when I see them around. And I rarely ever reject an offer to spend time or do something together so I often end up in misunderstandings and shit because people think I'm dating them and even they think I'm dating them. Am I too pleasing?

>>18451658
Learn how to say no?

Here is an example of internal conflict that happens within me:

I used to date a woman that didn't like travelling, she was mortified at the thought of getting into an airplane.

We dated for a while and it always bothered me that if we stayed together, there would be no travelling, no "seeing the world". It felt like a wasted potential.

Eventually we broke up (not for this reason, obviously)

Now I am with a woman that actually likes to travel. She makes plans, tries to save money and so on.

And this annoys me to no end... I start thinking of all the money we are spending in these stupid trips and how much we could be saving for the future.


And this circle of thoughts keep turning in my mind:

1. I am unhappy with this.

2. wtf, maybe I was happy with the other one?

3. well, maybe I should look for a woman that doesn't like travelling so much, if I am not happy now

4. but shit, this feels like "giving up", just because travelling is expensive and often complicated

5. yeah, I shouldn't allow myself to give up like that, travelling should cool

6. go back to #1.


I clearly see that the starting point to a solution here is: "but OP, do YOU actually like to travel?"

And that is exactly what I mean by >I don't have a defined "aim in life"

I don't know what I like, every time I try to understand what I like by looking at events in my life, I get conflicting conclusions (like the one above: I was annoyed with the prospect of not travelling, but I am also annoyed with the effort necessary to do it).

ANd this shitty cycle happens on basically everything. Even things that bring me pleasure, I don't know exactly WHY I do it. For example: one of hte things I like doing very much is going to the gym, but I can't tell exactly if I actually like going there or if it is because of the women that I get to see (though in this case these are not conflicting reasons, they can be both true at the same time)

Try to find the neutral, the golden, the middle. "She travels too much for my taste." -> "Let's travel a bit less and save up? Or travel to less expensive places?"

When having a dilemma with multiple options, just try finding the middle.

>>18451622
OP still here:

>every time I try to understand what I like by looking at events in my life, I get conflicting conclusions

The obvious counterpoint to this is "But OP, you find out what you like by how you feel about it, not by looking at the evidence"

And even that feeling gets questioned and doubted. Because often when I find something that I like, I tell myself I "shouldn't like it" because of this or that reason.
For example:
Between these 2 women mentioned above I was hanging out on Tinder for about 5 months.

Got a bunch of matches, some successful dates. others not so much. But the flirting and dating was fun overall.

But then I kept telling myself: "You can't live on that, you will build anything serious or enjoy the benefits of a stable relationship like that"
And BAM, there I was choking my own "fun" out of the situation.

google drive. Print the photos into a "memory book" kind of crap. Upload to FB. etc.
You shouldn't rely on something that proved to fail you multiple times.

>>18451610
Already done. What about my formatted drive that I am not utilizing? Should I format that and power through the great guilt that is stopping me?

I don't know how old you are OP. I'm 34. I mention age because I've had technology in my life enough to build up and then lose due to hard drive failure more than a few 'vital' things.

The first upsetting one was my painstakingly ripped or dialup downloaded mp3 collection. I'd been on the case with that one from my mid teens. Local bands, live recordings, things borrowed from friends now no longer friends or living. I also lost all the masters from recording sessions with various bands I was part of in and around the local college. Pictures were not that big a deal funnily enough because decent digital cameras were kind of rare back then. That was the first owch.

Later I lost thousands of pictures of my ex wife and our life together, time spent living in america. More recordings of music projects (mp3's no longer relevant) my wedding video, university work/projects. This one hurt quite a lot because a lot of it was useful stuff which I'd like to have to refer back to, less sentimental, but certainly the pictures grew with the popularity and improvement of digital cameras.

The third failure cost me quite a few years of notes. At this point pictures are online or taken via smart phone for social media. Music is kept streaming and data I upload to the cloud. But I kept notes, references, spreadsheets, data from experiments and studies, things I knew would prove handy in the future and came to rely on which are no longer freely online. Still now I go to refer back to a chart or to check the rate of a value because I can remember testing it to death back in the day and the notes are just not there.

What I tend to do now is blog my notes and experiments. Not so much for others, though occasional input or feedback is useful, but so it is online in some form. I also keep a notebook, though that is likely the frailest method of all.

My employer recently gave me a contract amendment saying that I'll have to return or destroy my notebooks if I leave. Sucks.

At least you have friends to be involved with.

>>18451516
Anytime you are in a relationship with someone, there will always be someone else whom you feel stronger passion for. The hardest challenge of a long term relationship is to reject that passion for your partner. You guys fucked up badly in that regard. If I were you I'd try to patch things with your GF, and then ask if in the future after you prove yourself can you be friends with this other girl again.

>>18451531
To add to this, if she refuses to allow you to remain this girls friend after you prove your faithfulness then I would consider going for this other girl. Basically talk it out and try to return things to how they were.

>>18451500
yes

>>18451502
What if I catch them fucking again? I hate being cucked.

>>18451507
kill yourself

>>18451498
Name 3 concrete examples and we will tell you how much of pussy you are.

>>18451498
if this is the case you really spend your time at the wrong place...

>>18451498
Its not normal to dwell on stuff like that, but Im guessing it was just friendly banter and you're being autistic about it, if it wasnt you shouldnt spend time with those people anyway

>>18451497
Buy pocketbook aqua 2, then download 1GB worth of epub books and start reading fagot.

>try red library
It is like porn, but for girls and in book. See if it will give you boner and or ideas how to make your gf hot.

>no gf
Try badoo instead of shitposting here.

>>18451509
Not supposed to be on phone. Some cuck may snitch on me for hanging around. Currently with maintence fucking around they may leave soon so nothing to do after

>>18451518
Well, i always told all my bosses:
>if there is nothing to do, why wouldnt i just sit down and relax? That way when something shows up, my prodictivity will be 120%.
But hey, it depends on how big asshole your boss is. Some people believe you have to SUFFER in job in order to earn payment.

>fap in wc every hour to see if you can make it to 10?

File: fidget-cube-banner.jpg (57KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 600x600px

>>18451493
Buy fidged spinner, fidged cube or stress ball.

Go test yoursrlf for adhd

>>18451493
Wear gloves or cover it in bandage.

ocd behaviour.
getting rid of it is a simple process, yet it is everything else than easy.
you need to train your self.
commit to try and keep holding out on picking for a short amount of time at first, tell yourself that if you get the urge, you have to count to five first, then you can pick. when you got that down, go up to 10, etc. that way you train yourself to endure not giving in. if you're at a good time being able to hold out, try to substitute it with a simple yet effective gesture like making fists for the time you count. you probably have tried to overcome it by distracting yourself, but that won't work, compulsive behaviour can not be distracted. you simply need to learn to endure the temptation. imagine your endurance to hold out like a muscle you need to train. also, what helps is to not try and fight the temptation, just go with it without giving in. stay strong (imagine a rock staying where it is admitst the waves) but don't try to go against it (imagine trying to hold back the masses of water). one needs strength, the other force. both are exhausting, but using force is a lot more exhausting, causing your willpower to be used up much faster, iow you'll give in easier.

If you believe there is a sin that God refuses to forgive, then it's not a Christian that you were.

>>18451477
You are goddam right you're right. How did you even know OP that you were not forgiven? Even though bad things happen to your life, it doean't mean he hasn't forgiven you.

>>18451477
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, Mark of the beast

>>18451416
>"People literally pay me $25 an hour to do this, I'm working full time, and we're not fucking anymore so don't expect me to do it for free?
no actually that's pretty good
why would you stay friends? I tried staying friends with my first ex, it was hell. never again.

Say you're schedule is too busy with actual clients and that you're sorry you can't fit her in. If she can read between the lines she should propose herself to become one of those clients and pay you to do it. If she's unwilling to pay she'll likely just go away.

>>18451416
"I'd love to help you, but as you know that is my job and I am very busy with clients. I don't have time to do it for free"