Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1325. page

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There's no point...

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If getting ahead in life requires competitions and winning over other people, why the fuck do people say "don't compare your others"? The very definition of competition and beating someone out is going to involve comparison at SOME level.

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did i fuck up. im super paranoid right now. im not sure if the book comes with a invitation to a court case.

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Hey guys, so I have a father who's a dick. My parents separated when I was 3, I visited him regularly throughout my childhood. The relationship was always complicated but to keep it short, he's a narcissist with borderline syndrome + an asshole in a lot of ways. So that's him. He had another son after me who is now 8 yo, I am 22.
My father caused pretty elaborate psychological problems on my side, which is why I quit contact with him several times throughout my youth. After becoming clinically depressed 3 years ago and realizing it was due to him being somewhat in my life I put the contact on hold to get better and into a state where I care to live again. In these 3 years I have been in therapist non stop and in a special clinic for treatment for 9 weeks. So my father has had a very bad influence on my life but I'm recovering. He's close to being the worst dad you can imagine without being physically abusive...
Now that I recently told him I still need time and will continue to keep the contact on hold he has started pressuring and essentially blackmailing me with my brother. He tells me my brother misses me a lot and it hurts him that I am not in his life. And that it is damaging my brother that I won't get in touch. Therefore if I don't get back in touch he will tell my brother that I am "gone".
I know that getting in touch with my father again will be my downfall. I can't handle it and it's essentially not an option. I love my brother and I fear I will lose him forever if my father tells him some bullshit about what happened to me and why I left his life.

I guess there's no clear question here but what do? How do I deal with this? Should I just give up on my brother completely and never talk to my father again?

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Dear ladies of /adv/,

A female friend of mine considers me a manwhore. I'm 23 and I've slept with 17 different women. I wouldn't say this is very high, I think it's somewhere around the average for my age. She thinks otherwise. Is my number too high? If so, would you date a guy with this past? Also, how would you feel about a guy having had a threesome with 2 girls?

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I'm okay with the idea of being married, but I dread the thought of a wedding. I hate being the centre of attention, suck at speeches, can't rely on any of my friends to turn up or give a speech themselves. Then the shame of having this lack of close bros paraded in front of my whole extended family. Is it common for weddings to just be about the union while fucking off all the other fluffy bullshit?

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I know that this isn't exactly a relationship central board but what the hell, I need to clear my head and figure out my next step.


I met this girl through her friends. She's 20 and stuies to be a doctor.

We had a fantastic first date where we talked for hours and looked into each others' eyes.

Right after it was over she told me that it was her first date ever. I couldn't believe it, she was so beautiful and nice I could hardly believe my luck.

And when I came home she told me that she's very sensitive and is very prone to beurotic breakdowns (i.e. she cried after our date because emotions were so overwhelming).

So, I met her the next day and it wasn't so nice anymore. She said that she's very stressed because of THIS and because she's never had anything like this before: she can't eat, can't sleep and is always very nervous (which is bad, because in 2 days she'll have her exam on anatomy).

So, the mood was less than pleasant, but we still hugged a lot, held each others' hands and smiled a shitton.


Enter today.
She wrote that she now cannot function normally and is afraid of me and this whole thing. She says that she doesn't feel the same way I do about us hanging out together (I'm sort of a romantic type who's very serious about relationships) and she thinks that she needs to run away from everyone and everything now to keep her sanity intact.


I am beyond devastated.

I told her "Take your time, I won't bother you until your exams, but let's meet this Saturday at XXXX Park at 3 p.m. I will be waiting there for you. You can come or not, it's up to you."

And her response was "I will not come. I've made up my mind."


So, /soc/, any ideas? What the fuck is happening? What should I do? Give her space? Comfort her somehow? Insist on staying? What?

It was the best two days of my life. She said at first that everything was amazing and she wants me to be close. But it all changed in a span of 2 fucking days. What do?

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Im going through a very rough time. Green text time:
>lose my job last Monday
>girlfriend tells me everything will be ok,she loves me and we still have each other.
>she goes to work Thursday,texts me she loves me and will see me later.2 hours later she comes back.
>tells me she has quit her job and is going back home to her parents place,4 hours away.I had no idea this was coming
>tells me they are outside and are gonna pack her up now
>before she leaves,she's hysterically crying and telling me she loves me/will miss me and that I am her soulmate.
>won't stop hugging and kissing me.didnt want to let go of my hand.
>says she has to go as we are politically too different and doesn't want to change me.
>she told my mum yesterday over the phone the same thing,and that I was the love of her life. told her she thought I would have proposed on a recent holiday-and I didn't.
>since she left she has texted me saying she still loves me/misses and that Im her soulmate. she wants to leave it a week and speak this friday.
>what she and no one else knows is that I was planning to propose in july (our anniversary) and I actually have a ring.

What do I do? Im a fucking mess.

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Any optometrists here? I'm 23 and I want to get laser eye surgery. Is it worth it or should I get contacts?

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I feel like shit guys. I have been with my fiance for 5 years, engaged only 1. We live with each other, our family have already met each other. We are planning to get married in a few months. I am not saying the engagement has everything to do with it but I feel as if I fell out of love with her.

I am an introvert and I deal with things by myself, like my father and his father. We are stoic and don't really talk about emotions. We usually do things to express ourselves such as buying gifts, working on cars (in my case computers) when upset. I used to live in the country where I would hunt, fish, and camp almost every other week. Since I moved into the city there's not much for me to do besides focus on other things I like to do such as writing, programming, and playing around with Linux.

Now my fiance is a city girl, through and through. She loves going to the mall, going to happy hour, shopping. She tried to read my writing but she always says she doesn't understand it and the only time I took her fishing she complained the entire time. I feel like the pressure of fake smiling for our family as we announced our wedding had made me realize I am not in love with her. I do love and car for her but I am not in love with her.

I fear if I call off the wedding hers and my family would resent me and i would break her heart. But I know with her I will not be happy.

I'm not really sure how to approach this. My gut is telling me just drop everything and leave town to avoid the shitstorm. But again I am not sure how to tackle this issue.

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Hey guys, femanon here.
I need some serious help here. I'm on the verge of insanity right now.

I asked my bf of 7 years to be my submissive. I tried forcing him to drink out of a bowl and sleep on the floor. This he all refused to do. As a revenge, I went out 2 Fridays and had a one night stand each night. I later on regretted it. With the second night stand, the guy was really into blood play so we cut each other's thighs so we could taste some of each other's blood.
Now I have some scars on my legs, so my bf wants to leave me. In addition, he calls this the "Devil's practice" or some shit (he comes from a religious Christian catholic background).
I am scared that I am going to lose the only thing in the world that ever mattered to me. He has already started talking to some other broad from his Sunday church attendings, and last time I saw him talking to her for a bit, I went to see how his mass attendings were going and he was still talking to that dumb blonde whore.
He knows that if this behavior on his part continues, I will kill myself because I have let him know of this plenty of times. He still seems to be involving himself in secretive, bad behaviors.

I REALLY fucking need some help. Does anyone know how I can keep my man? Most men out there are thrash and I can't go and find some boring (or even economically stable) dude, since I'm already 29 years old.

Somebody give me advice on what to do. This guy is my life.

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I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable or not. I've been with my bf for a year and I have a guitar at my house and whenever he comes over he goes straight for it. I remember when he first started coming over to my house and visiting he would just pick it up and play whenever, like even if my mum was watching tv. She used to give me looks like "what is this kid doing?" when he first started and it felt embarrassing for me because I was bringing him home to my family and he was being rude (in my opinion at least.)
To me it's rude because it's subjecting everyone to a noise they didn't ask to hear and it's not really sociable because no one else can really join in. Like if the tv's on everyone can watch but there's only so much fun everyone can have listening to someone practicing the same riffs over and over again.
Sometimes I ask him kindly and sometimes not so kindly to stop playing and he usually always acts annoyed and huffs about it - "I was practicing something, I was figuring something out, etc."
Am I in the wrong to not want him to play it all the time?

I know it isn't really a huge deal either way but I was just mulling over it

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I think I might be a monster. I don't know what or who I am anymore and I feel like I just don't care about anything but that's not true. I've done some horrible things, like really horrible things to people I claimed to love and care about. I've betrayed people, lied and hurt them because it was convenient for me.

One of the worst things was that I let my supposed ex boyfriend starve and live on the streets. I knew that I was the cause of it because I promised to help him but I didn't and I couldn't, but I kept making promises that I couldn't keep. He was homeless, he broke and I just left him to die. I abused his trust and mistreated him in the worst possible way. He called me a monster and I actually agree with that.

I don't know what is wrong with, I often consider just ending my life to rid people of me. I don't think that I serve any purpose other than to cause people pain and I just want my own pain to go away.

Honestly, I don't know how I can continue living with the things I've done...

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>Meet a girl
>Really awesome girl
>she is on heroine rehab for 2 years
>she disappears for 3 days
>"anon I have to confess I injected "speed"
>know how got her the drugs
>what do?

A) report to the police
B) anonymously contact the dealer and scare him of with "Police on you" message or something
D) Your advice

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my son is a fucking loser

he's 23 years old, no job, never had a girlfriend, live at my house, plays video games all day

he has 2 old sisters and 1 younger brother, all of which have successful 6 figure careers and have moved to different cities

however, my oldest son still stays with me. he literally took all the worst attributes of me and my wife, and there's nothing i can think of to help him

i've even gotten him a job but he stopped showing up after a week

he's overweight and not too smart, and has no life goals or ambition. he has no friends because he's rude and disrespectful

what should i do? i'm at my wits end.

i'm about to kick him out and have him experience what its like to actually have to work for things

i've already written him out of my will. i'm afraid i might randomly die one day and he'll inherit part of my money and never think of trying to work

what's a good solution to this?

i really have no idea where i went wrong. all his sisters and his brother turned out perfectly fine.