Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1281. page

>try something to find out if a suspicion is true
>be surprised when it is true
You're an idiot who needs new friends and/or to make themselves more of the sort of person people want to be friends with.

>>18478658
Yeah it sounds autistic but it's just a bit shit having to deal with the reality of it. I woudnt say I'm an unsociable guy, always there to help them, always have a good time when we get together etc but yeah you've got a point man

Stop being a bitch, maybe they are shitty people, but generally in a group there's only a couple of people who initiate or plan stuff most of the time

And its only one week man wtf

The vagina is a lot lower than you think it is.

Rub and lick her clit.
Finger inwards and upwards, her g-spot should be in that area.

Jack off a few hours before you do it, you'll last really long.

Play some Depeche mode.

>>18478636
This
Also have a wank beforehand

>>18478608
>if I'm misinterpreting the flirting, I don't want that getting back to the client.

I assume you mean that you don't want to show interest in your client's friend/colleague if the guy was NOT flirting with you.

It's unprofessional to start a romantic or sexual relationship with someone you work with, period. Even if you're not misunderstanding his interest in you, it's still unprofessional to act on it.

You seem interested in him primarily because he's physically attractive and was flattering you a lot. I wonder how much you really value your reputation if you're willing to risk it for something so meaningless. If you're just in it for casual sex, sure go ahead and contact the guy again.

>>18478821
Working in the city and having so many clients, there's almost always going to be someone I'm just a few degrees of separation from. I'm not working with this guy at all. He basically took notes to give verbatim to his friend. And asked me some follow-ups he thought he needed clarification on. He is not involved in the deal itself at all.

Though I suppose you're right in that it does look unprofessional if he wasn't flirting and I flirt back (in that it makes it look like I use my job to pick people up).

And yeah, of course attraction and kindness were the primary reasons. Those are... pretty good reasons to like someone.

>>18478856
When someone invades your personal space and starts putting out a ton of flattery, you might want to think about whether or not they're actually being sincere.

But sure.

I think you're just over-thinking it OP! Maybe try bringing your relationships to the next level? If you feel like you can click well with people, get to know them on a deeper level and maybe that will bring you more satisfaction? I'm just not really sure what your issue is, since you seem to have a strong self identity.

>>18478625
I really don't have a strong sense of self-identity. I introspect all the time, and I can even come to some cool conclusions. But they'll all be different in the next week. Everything I think I like I grow tired of, even people. I seem to confuse love and hate all the time. I'm not consistent whatsoever. So I don't really have any clue who I am.

I try too hard to get to know people on a deeper level. We're always having deep talks. It's to the point where I have next to no secrets with anyone, and people say they've told me things they've never told anyone before, meanwhile I have that kind of relationship with seemingly everyone. I make myself available maybe even to an annoying degree. It doesn't feel special at that point. I want to find someone that I genuinely can relate to, so I try a whole lot. But it just fades with time. Any friend I have doesn't last long. I suppose I get bored, because it feels like I can befriend anyone. That adds to the long term loneliness all too well though.

I'm not sure what my issue is either. I can have a million friends and still never feel like a part of anything. Still always feeling isolated. I don't know how to be consistent. I can move around and talk to everyone, so I do. And I get why that might contribute to the lack of meaningful relationships, but if I stick with one person too long, I grow to hate them. And I don't want that. I try to balance my friends, but then everyone just seems the same.

I think I even have some weird quiet arrogance and I don't really see other people as equals to me. Even though I hate myself a lot, other people catch a lot more flak from me if they're around me too often.

>>18478675
You're always going to be changing. Ideally, it should always be for the better. I have only found one person that I can genuinely relate to, and that is my current SO of nearly four years. When I met them, I did not have a strong sense of self, but we got along so well, that we grew as a couple and that has shaped me into the person I am today. My morals, outlook on the world, interests are all aligned with my SO, and it's only because we connected at a time that allowed for us to develop our ideas together. This is two-folded though, as now I feel like we are almost the same person to the point where we agree on almost all our discussion topics, but even if we broke up tomorrow, I would still be the same person I am today.

I think the key to a lasting relationship, with anyone, is to continuously find things to do together. When you're at the point where you don't know what to talk about, try reading books, getting involved with politics, cooking together, traveling, anything that can open your perspective. Entertaining things like movies and video games can be fun, but I try to limit things like that cause they are only distractions in the end, and won't bring any lasting happiness.

I got lucky, real lucky, because I realize now that it's hard to meet people you can relate to so well. If you have people that you feel like you can trust and be completely open with, maybe try to develop a relationship further by doing productive things together.

Think about your interests, passions, morals and try to find like-minded or open-minded people to have meaningful discussions with on the topics you care about.

Why do you think you grow bored of your relationships? Is it because you can't find meaningful things to talk about or do you just not like the person you're talking to?

>>18478517
>I don't think that it's an accurate description of me
People with personality disorders rarely think and believe they have a personality disorder.

If you don't like what they have to say get a new one dumbass.

>>18478522
I'm open to having a personality disorder, it's just that it's pretty easy to evaluate if you meet the criteria, and I definitely don't.

>>18478538
Not really how therapy works, and there aren't really other options where I live. Besides, I'd rather keep on seeing someone who I have a 6 month long relationship with, than having to go start over with some different person who would probably be even less competent than the first.

>>18478467

it doesn't really. we are constantly growing and changing nad being influenced by others, and because we want to win the love of others we compromise on our existing morals in order to obtain that love. even in small ways.

on 4chan if oyu use an emoticon like this:
:D

you will be mocked. you don't see it often. but if you're in a thread where a nattractive girl posts a pic suddenly all the guys responding will use those instead of reaction images in order to seem more endearing. human psychology.

the truth is a woman only makes you a 'better man' if you're still better when shes no longer there. otherwise she just made you a fraud, someone pretending to change his thinking simply to appease someone to get what he wants.

>>18478479
>>18478479
What if you're being clearly changed into a worse person? I've never drank alcohol, never smoked pot etc.. All I did was to be in closer contact with her, and I dont regret, I just feel bad when I see who have I become. Is love worth the "sin"?

>>18478502

same deal but in reverse. you are compromising on your morals and who you are to get the affection of someone else, still becoming a fraud just to please someone who doesn't actually like you as you are naturally.

in my opinion no, mostly because she cant really love you if its an act.

Does she actually ask you to? If so, tell her that it's not something you're into. It is not exactly rare for men to expect oral and not be willing to perform it themselves.

If she doesn't ask, pray she won't start and don't mention it. Pretty dickish to spontaneously tell her that you think her pussy is too gross to go down on.

>>18478561
she didnt ask last time because was on a period

>>18478614
So you've had sex once? That's not really a 'sexual relationship,' that's "I fucked a fat girl once"

>>18478373

pretty much exactly what you said. you like a girl, but you pussy out then rationalize as a defense mechanism.

>>18478376
Is it really pussying out though? Like I said I'm not nervous, I'm just like "eh, its not really a good time, I'll do it next week."

>>18478373
Next time, think back to your thoughts of being a pussy/loser to motivate yourself to not feel like a pussy/loser later. Once you do it once, it'll be more easy just because you have experience in the matter/ It doesn't matter if you are rejected, only that you tried in the first place.

The issues I have all revolve around low self worth, and dispute my best efforts I always fail myself. I've tried to make myself proud of little things but honestly it never feels genuine, it's just words I say in my head, like when I try to tell myself I love myself, it just feels like echoes. I guess my hope is patience or whatever it is is coming to an end, I've hit rock bottom before, it fucking feels like I live there, I just want a change but I can't change myself. Hope someone reads this and reaches out to a lonely friend, I know there were alot of times in the past I wish that had happened, though when it did I always ended up ruining whatever remnants of friendship were left.

>>18478348
Have you tried seeking professional help beyond rehab? What do you think is the primary source of your problems? Is it drug additcion/abuse and you not being able to kick the habit, or are you abusing drugs because of a bigger issue... or both?

The treatment you were receiving that was not related to drugs, why didn't you continue it? Mentally stable, healthy people see therapists consistently too. I know I would if I could financially support it.

Brothet you probably have chronic depression. Just re read what your wrote. You seem to know exactly what is wrong with you. I had similar issue that i fucked up going to college.

I live with chronic depression. Undiagnosed untreated. You must do things in order to make your life more comfortable. Live simplier thats what i did. Dont work yourself up over succeess because success is subjective. Wheter society tells you it is or not. I had to accept my mortality. I would not use meth but i would recommend maybe shrooms ? It actually helped my depression because i felt pure bliss. You need something to remind yourself why you exist. Its extremely difficult and something you have to think for yourself. I can offer more of my POV if you want to tell us more about whats troubling you.

If a girl teases you get her nudes and black mail her. She'll cry but she'll still cum.

>women

wait will that work cuz i do have her noods

>>18478320
Of course it will, lol. Enjoy the rush bro and remember all the

>This could ruin my life
>please please don't do this

are meant to be enjoyed not listened to. She secretly loves it. Make sure you keep your word though, what ever you agree too. Make her feel like it's her fault for teasing you and make sure you double the demands whenever she tries teasing you or gets comfortable again.

Have fun!

>>18478195
Church

Once your daughter starts going to pre-school/school/whatever you could go there and try to meet other parents.

>>18478199
I have bad views about most religions. Thanks though.

>>18478203
Solid idea just a ways away.

>>18478173
get his ass to a hospital

Well give some details? What the fuck happened, what is he doing, what is he saying, where is he, who is around him, details my friendo.

>>18478185
lol no

>>18478189

Wasn't here for the beginning. From what I heard, he went camping with my parents and his girlfriend. He kept saying that the phones are bugged, our home is bugged, the camper is bugged, and that people are listening to us. This was a couple days ago, they came home and he went to the doctor. Now I'm home, my parents went camping again, and he started a new medication called olanzapine, he's on methodone and a sleeping pill previously. He keeps coming downstairs and asks if I feel safe, he locks the deadbolt every time someone opens the door, looks into empty rooms to check them, made his girlfriend leave because he thinks she's going to do something to us.

Get a better job. How old are you?

>>18478141
Quit bellyaching and go get a real job like the rest of the adults. There are SO MANY WAYS to make more money than that. If you really wanted to you could make at least $2000/month, and THAT isn't very much. You're being a weinie. Quit being a weinie.

>>18478162
>Get a better job.
Not really much of an option. Another issue is that I live in a small town and honestly don't want to move to a larger city, but feel I may have to, where I'd be even more miserable than I am now. The only reason I have the job I do now is because I went through an agency that works with people that have disabilities and worked around mine.

>>18478170
>Disabled
>Just get a job brah

op here I should say as well that she "put herself in that position" because I had slept with another girl, so she thought she needed to put herself out there to be the same. her exact words were 'she went out to hook up with someone' but claims rape on the situation that ended up going down.

Lol man why the fuck are you worried about how she feels?

You had an agreement of trust, she broke that trust. She got drunk and shagged another dude. And even if it is rape, no matter what the fucking feminists tell you what the actual fuck was she doing putting herself in that situation? How many times has it happened before? Was this time something you know about just because people saw her?

Either way, fuck how she feels. You're a man and you have feelings too and she betrayed them and your trust and now she's so insensitive to you she's not even willing to deal with the fuck up she put on you. She just shuts you off. Fuck that man, you have as many rights as she does so defend yourself and get away from her and find someone who respects the relationship.

She didn't get raped, she just fucked Chad and is now regretting it. Cut off all contact and move on. If she made a false rape accusation against Chad, she will make one against you.

I had the same problem for several years and tried to stop, but it never worked.
It kind of happened that I got my hand on a nailclipper and then just mindlessly cut off the skin, while I was doing something else. And I didn't really have much desire to bite it off with my mouth anymore.
For some reason putting down the habit with the nailclipper was easier, than when I was using my mouth.

I'm not saying you should try the same though.

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>>18478133
It you find out, tell me, being doing this for 15 years...

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>>18478133
>>18478145
First step is to put tape on it so it can heal and you will taste the tape and not the skin you are used to.

Seconds step it to buy stress ball, fidged spinner/cube.